Christmas- Naruto Style
NOTE TO READERS:
This is my first fanfic of
anything, so don't lynch me if I get anything major wrong, I
apologize now.
I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!
This fic starts off
pointless and maybe by the end it will gain a point, you'll see. Oh,
and sorry if I forgot anybody from the show.
I DO NOT OWN
NARUTO!
I don't know if Naruto and the rest of Konoha celebrate
Christmas, I just am writing about if they did. Also, there in
America and they're in a private school.
I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!
Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Ino, Chouji, Kiba, Hinata and Shino are
freshman; Shikamaru is sophomore (because he's a chuunin); Neji,
Tenten and Lee are juniors; all the squad leaders are seniors.
Tsunade is the principal and Jaraiya is the vice- principal. Iruka is
still a teacher. ANBU are teachers as well. Gaara and his siblings
are transfer students. Gaara's a freshman, Temari is a held back
sophomore and Kankuro is a junior. Also, the Akatsuki are
super-seniors. They all live in the private school named Konoha:
School of the Hidden Leaf. Orochimaru is a senor at the School of the
Hidden Sound. Hidden Sound and Hidden Leaf are school rivals.
I
DO NOT OWN NARUTO!
Since they're in private school, they have
classes on holidays. Everyone's relationships are the same,
basically. Oh. . . and no comments that s/he would never say that, I
know certain things don't make sense, but this fic is just plain 'ol
fun.
I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!
Do enjoy this pointless fanfic! Oh,
and sorry if the descriptions such, I tried my best. Also, tell me if
you think I should write more, because I love the concept and will
only write more if other like this (maybe). Oh yeah, since Christmas
is on the 25th, there will be 25 chapters, if there's more I'm sorry
but it was needed and made sense. One more thing, there is MAJOR teen
drama in this fic and it may seem that I'm making fun of it but I'm
not, this kind of stuff really happens, it's serios stuff, so you
could say there is a point. Now read!!
I DO NOT OWN NARUTO BUT I
OWN THIS
FIC!
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1.
CHRISTMAS
MORNING
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Joy overfilled a certain blonde freshman's heart as he stared into the darkness. Christmas was here and this year Naruto would get more than Iruka's scrolls and Hinata's usual holiday sweater. This year Naruto would go to the Konoha Christmas Ball with Sakura and she'll be his girlfriend, at least that's what his plan was.
Elsewhere, Sasuke was sitting up in his bed glaring at his cut marks, several horizontal red lines on his forearms. "I'm. . .so. . .emo." he said as he walked to the bath room.
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2.
FIRST BELL
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"Oh
crap! I'm late on my first day. Damn it Gaara, can't you find where
your classes are on your own?" said Temari in the middle of the
foyer as the bell rang and students filed into class before they
where late.
"Temari stop yelling at him, he's scared. Come on Gaara I'll help you find your class." Kankuro said as he held out his hand to the scared red head.
"This better not take too long Kankuro or I'm writing that you still wet the bed all over the girls' bathroom." Temari held Gaara's other hand as they walked though the empty halls to find the red headed freshman's class.
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3.
NEW STUDENT
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"So. . .troublesome. . ." Shikamaru said as he walked his girlfriend, Ino, to class.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" Ino turned around to look at her boring, not Sasuke, boyfriend.
"Troublesome. It's so troublesome to walk YOU to class EVERYDAY when I could be staring at the clouds through my classrooms big, wide windows." This was Shikimaru's chance, piss Ino off enough so she would dump him.
Just then, Temari walked passed, stopped to take a drink of water, and walk on.
"You were just staring at that girl's ass weren't you!?" Ino's was pissed. In this relationship, SHE was the one allowed to look at other people's ass's NOT Shikimaru!
"So what if I was, it's way bigger than yours. Big and round, plump. . ." SLAP!
"We're over!" Ino tromps off while Shikamaru's face throbs from the giant red hand print.
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4.
REJECTION!
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"He what!?" Sakura asked her best friend forever, Ino.
"Stared at this blonde girl's ass than said it was bigger than mine! And I was going to have sex with him too. He's such a jerk!" Ino began to tear up until she saw a certain emo walking toward her, and walk passed without even looking at her.
Sasuke then turned around and said "Sakura, your jacket and scarf are still in my room."
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5.
SUPER
SENOIRS
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"But Itachi, why are we sneaking into Sasuke's room? He wouldn't have any. . ." Kisame was in awe as Itachi held up what they were searching for.
Condoms.
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6.
NOTES IN
CLASS
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"Now class. . . I would like to introduce our new student from The Hidden Sand School, Gaara. Gaara you can sit next to Naruto and Sasuke." Iruka pointed at the seat between the two freshmen.
Gaara immediately received a mysterious note. Written on the note were various questions.
The first one went something like, "Gaara, circle yes or no. Have you gone all the way with a boy?" He circled no.
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7.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
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"No."
"But Neji, its Christmas and my mom is expecting you and me to go to the Ball together." Tenten begs.
"I don't know your mom, and I'm not going to the Ball, nevertheless with a half-wit like you." Neji turned the page in his Advanced Placement English Literature book, "Now go away."
"Konoha High, today is Christmas and I, Jiraiya, your vice-principal, have two major announcements. The first is we have three transfers from Sand High, Gaara freshman, Temari sophomore and Kankuro junior, be nice to our new students. My second announcement is that this years' Konoha Christmas Ball will be mandatory attendance for all students. We need the money for. . .cough sake cough. See you all there." said Jiraiya over the speaker system.
"The answers still no Tenten, I'd rather have Lee as my date than you." Neji stated as he turned the page.
"I accept your invitation Neji!" Lee gave the occupied Neji a big smile and thumbs up.
"Our principals are drunken maniacs. Now I have to hang out with Lee all night." Neji thought out loud, while Lee was blabbing about how he and Neji would the most 'youthful' couple at the Ball. This caused Neji to lose his place in his book – resulting a mini-seizure.
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8.
SENIOR SKIP DAY IS. .
.
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"Tomorrow." Kakashi said from behind his orange "novel".
"Yes, my eternal rival, tomorrow will be senior skip day!" said Gai with the thumbs up.
Kakashi thought to himself "That moron really thinks tomorrow is senior skip day. Ha! Tomorrow's Saturday, there's no school anyway."
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9.
LIBRARY
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"Uh. . . do you know where the check out desk is?" Temari asked a half asleep Shikamaru.
"Over there!" Shikamaru pointed to the left. Suddenly he noticed who had asked. He stood straight up and started to fix his messed up hair. "I'll show you. You must be the new girl, Temari. My names Shikamaru."
"Nice to meet you Shikimaru. Oh. . . NEVER stare at my ass again unless I tell you otherwise, got it? Also, you're taking me to that Ball tonight, come and get me at 7p.m. don't forget!"
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10.
LUNCH ROOM
BLUES
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Munch, munch, munch.
"Chouji stop eating so loud it's so troublesome and distracting." Shikamaru said as he took a little rest from making out with Temari.
"Sorry I was interrupting." Chouji got up and sat at Neji's table.
"Hinata, just go ask him already, he's not going to bite. . . Well, Kiba might when he sees you asking Naruto but he'll get over it." Tenten told Hinata.
"Okay. . . I'll go ask him." Hinata began to get up ever so slowly. Gaara walked by her and smiled. "Who's he?
"The new. . .munch. . . kid. . .munch. . . Gaara of the Sand. He sits. . .munch. . . next to. . .munch. . . Sasuke and. . .munch. . . Naruto in. . . Munch. . . homeroom. . . munch, munch." Chouji piped up between chips.
"He's. . . . . cute." Hinata said sitting down.
"First Naruto, then you lead Kiba on, now you are in to that red head. Hinata you're turning into a slut." Neji stated over his Complete Works of William Shakespeare which he started when the bell rang and is 20 pages from finishing.
"Don't call me a slut. I'm a virgin, so there!" She stuck out her tongue at her cousin and his stupid book.
"I read your diary, I know the truth."
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11.
GARBAGE CAN
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"TEMARI, GAARA, SOMEONE HELP ME!" yelled Kankuro from the garbage can he was dumped into this morning by Sasori and Deidara.
"Tobi's a good boy." This disturbance caused Kankuro to jump, slipping him further into the can.
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12.
TEACHERS
LOUNGE
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"Not again!" Iruka looked around at the usual scene of the teachers' lounge. Jiraiya half naked, drunk off his ass and Shizune running at full speed away from the pervert while Tsunade laughs.
"At least there's not a fire this time."
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13.
FREE
PERIOD
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"Hinata, just because I am staring at you don't mean you can stare back. I'm staring at your eyes while you're staring at my butt." Everyone became hushed as they heard Gaara's first words eve spoken at Konoha High.
"I wasn't staring. Wait, you were staring. . . at my eyes, why?" Hinata blushed with shock.
Kiba ran and stood in front of Gaara with an evil glare in his eyes. "You're not allowed to talk to my girl. Now go away, freak."
"Don't call my brother a freak!" Kankuro said after 2 hours of convincing Tobi to help him out of the garbage can.
"And I'm not your girl!" Hinata yelled as she pushed Kankuro out of the way, who faced planted.
"Hinata," Gaara extended out his hand toward the pissed off, shy, freshman. "Come and walk with me. Just don't look or touch my butt, okay?"
"Okay." Hinata grabbed Gaara's hand and walked out of the room.
"Wait, Hinata, I was about to ask you to the Ball." Kiba said as he watched the love of his life walk away with the red headed transfer student.
"Ha! Ha!" Naruto laughed.
"Shut up Naruto, she was going to ask you at lunch until she saw Gaara." Neji said matter of factly.
"What!?" exclaimed the blonde and confused freshman.
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14.
AFTER
SCHOOL
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"Sakura. . . will you umm. . . go to the. . . " Naruto began.
"Ball?" Sasuke simply said, interrupting the blonde.
"Yes, Sasuke! Maybe I'll get my scarf back now." Sakura said with an interesting smile on the pink haired girl's face.
"But. . . but. . ." the blonde said as he watched the blacked haired emo and Naruto's pink haired goddess walk away, together, holding hands, talking.
"You know their friends with benefits, right?" Shino said out of the blue.
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15.
COUPLES
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Shikimaru
and Temari
Neji and Lee
Gaara and Hinata
Sasuke and
Sakura
The List, so far, in chronological order.
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16.
THE HANG OUT
PLACE
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"Tobi's a good boy!"
"We know!" said Itachi as he took another drag off of the joint and passed it to Deidara.
"Tobi wants to smoke!" Tobi said as he jumped up and down. Deidara looked at Itachi who just nodded with annoyment. The blonde, who looked like a girl, passed the boy with an orange swirly mask on his face the joint.
5 minutes later
"Never, ever give Tobi weed, EVER!" The black haired super senior said as he tried to avoid Tobi's hugs.
"Itachi, I know you want to hug me. I'm Obito!. . . No. . .I'm Mandara!. . . Whatever, I'm related to you so GIVE ME A DAMN HUG!"
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17.
HOMEWORK
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"Function X equals 652 X to the fourth power plus 62 X cubed times point 987 X squared divided by 645/3156 X minus 6. How the hell do you do that!?" Naruto mumbled.
"That's not what the equation, it's two times two plus two which equals six." Neji stated while drawing a graph of the first equation.
"Then why are you graphing the equation I said first." the blonde pouted toward the junior.
"Because I feel like it."
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18.
HOW THE GIRLS GET
READY
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INO
" I have no one to go with, but Jiraiya made it mandatory for EVERYONE to go. Damn! Whatever, this is my chance to dress even more slutty." and the blonde did with putting on a black tube top and red mini skirt which showed off her thong as she walked.
Sakura
" Sasuke loves to tear this off of me." the pink haired freshman smiled at herself in the mirror while wearing her red long top with the zipper and her black leather skinny caprices.
Temari
"I'm not changing."
Hinata
" I like this one. I hope Gaara doesn't think it's too much." Hinata looked at herself in her purple strapless mini dress.
Tenten
" A black mini dress is best."
Konan
"I'm not going, screw Jiraiya. Not literally though, I'm not into drunks, anymore." Konan said as Paine tossed a green dress at her. " Okay! You better dance with me though."
Shizune
Tied up in the teachers' lounge, passed out.
Tsunade
Passed out!
Kurenei???
In bed with Asuma, asleep.
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19.
HOW THE GUYS GET
READY
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Naruto
" Yay. . . I can wear my new orange outfit."
Shino
" Black. Bugs." Shino smiled.
Itachi
Rambling on as the stoner gets his senior outfit on (the Akatsuki coat).
Jiraiya
Staring at the tied up Shizune and the passed out Tsunade, drooling, tied up himself.
Sasuke
"This will get me laid quicker." the black haired emo put on his 'chuunin exam' outfit.
Paine
"Konan better get dressed." the wise-ass said in his senior outfit.
Lee
"I like my outfit." bushy brow junior is in his green unitard.
Neji
"Grey button up top with black pants. Lee better not say anything."
Shikamaru
"So troublesome."
Gaara
Moves his sand so that he's wearing black long sleeve top and black pants. "There."
Kankuro
"SOMEONE, HELP! GET ME OUT OF THIS GARBAGE CAN!"
Chouji
Munch, munch, munch.
Kiba
"A suit will do."
Kisame
"I'm wearing whatever Itachi wears." Kisame says as he eavesdrops on Itachi talking to himself.
Tobi
"Tobi's a good boy!"
Kakashi
"I'm skipping the dance!"
Gai
"I swear, my eternal enemy, I will
look better than you."
Iruka
Also tied up in the teachers' lounge and passed out. Poor man.
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20.
WHY THEY'RE
LATE
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"Konan, you better be dressed, we're gonna be late, and if we're late I won't have time to spike the punch before Itachi and the others show up with the weed!" an annoyed stoner grumbled as he stood outside Konan's bedroom door.
"Paine, I'm going as fast as I can. This dress is taking forever to get on!" Konan grumbled as she's ties up in the simple green dress.
Elsewhere, Lee began jumping up and down with joy. "Neji, you look youthfully great!"
"No, I knew that bushy brow weirdo would say that. I should have come with Tenten, less 'youthful' banter with that half-wit whore." the annoyed bookworm mumbled as bushy brow began serenading him with the poem he wrote to Sakura.
Once again, elsewhere, "I'm. . .still. . .emo." Sasuke stated as he watched the blood run down his arms from the new cuts he added moments earlier.
"Sasuke, why do you always do that after we have sex?" asked the pink haired girl putting her clothes back on.
"This. . .is. . .the real. . .pleasure in my life. . .not sex." the emo stated as he put his shoes on.
"Then why do you even bother with sex at all?" asked a passimisive pink haired Sakura.
"Because I'm good at it."
Somewhere else, Shikamaru and Temari are still making out.
"Where's Chouji with that camera? I'm only gonna have sex with you if it gets videotaped." Temari said when she came up for a breather.
"I'm right here, so do you want it on the tri-pod or do you want it on free roam." Chouji said with a pout. Temari and Shikamaru won't let him eat until 'after'.
"Free roam."
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21.
KONOHA'S CHRISTMAS
BALL
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The Konoha cafeteria was overflowing with students. Every nook and cranny was filled with Hidden Leaf teenagers.
This years' theme was Crystals and Diamonds, Jiraiya and Tsunade's way of an excuse for the expensive door toll and drink tax.
"At least the theme isn't related to gambling again, two years in a row was enough." sighed the junior with two brown buns in her hair.
"I thought the cafeteria would be less decorated, but the seniors didn't screw it up. Wow." said the slut of a blonde.
"Ino did you have to dress all slutty?" asked Sakura as she and her emo prince walked in and joined Ino at her table.
Elsewhere in the cafeteria Naruto was pouting as he watched Hinata and Gaara dance to 'Stairway to Heaven'. The blonde was sad he didn't have a date.
"Stop pouting Naruto." Shino said before he took a sip from the recently spiked punch.
15 minutes and 6 drinks later
"Uh. . .Shino. . .could you stop grabbing my butt?" asked a freaked out blonde.
"It's squishy!" cried Shino.
"Shino, don't touch Naruto's butt! That's my job!" Hinata said as she began a pushing fight with the drunken Shino.
"But it's squishy!" Shino said as he fell down, he had lost the fight.
"Yay! Now I can touch Naruto's butt! Squeal!" Hinata walked over and squeezed the blondes butt and kissed him.
"This is war!" the red headed transfer student said and pulled Naruto forcedly out of the kiss. "I challenge you to a dance off, the best dancer by popular demand gets Hinata, the loser gets. . . . . .her." Gaara pointed at Tenten.
"Tobi's a good boy!"
And so the dance off began, it lasted 5 minutes because the chaperones broke it up because no one would pay the extra fee. Gaara decided that it was a tie even though he had clearly won.
"Truce?" the red head reached out a hand toward the blonde trying to catch his breath.
"Yeah!" said the blonde as he shook his five minute long nemesis' hand, also, trying to catch his breath.
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ALTERNATIVE
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"It is squishy. . ." the red head said with amazement as he started to poke the blonde's rump. "Naruto. . .you can touch mine back if you want. . ." the insomniac red head smiles with malice, or was it lust?
"Oh. . .okay?. . .Wow. . .It's firm and perfect!" Naruto began grouping Gaara's butt while Gaara did the same to Naruto's.
"Get a room!" some random person said to the two.
"No. . .We'll get a closet!"
25 minutes later a half naked Naruto and Gaara stumble out of the closet they have been "researching" each other in. While the two were researching, sand almost burst the door open half way through the climax.
"We're a couple right?" the blonde said catching his breath.
"Of course." Gaara immediately thought of the note he had received this morning. He now could say he has gone all the way with a boy. SQUEAL!
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WHAT
REALLY
HAPPENED
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"You are such a loser, Naruto." said a certain cutter of an emo.
"Don't call me that you pathetic whore of an emo sissy!" Naruto got in Sasuke's face (just like when Sasuke was introduced in the manga/anime wink)
A boy then bumped into Naruto. The crowed began to become hushed. Sakura was pissed.
"Not again. Why is it always my fault that those two kiss? I always bump into Naruto making him kiss Sasuke. What is wrong with me?" (I did say wink so that was soo foreshadowing for this smiles maliciously)
"Naruto, what were you thinking. You did that the first day of school, once was enough, just 'cause normal emo boys are bi doesn't mean Sasuke is, and even if he was he'd never go for a dumb ass like you!!!" while Sakura said this, Naruto gained many bumps on his head.
"How do you know?" asked Sasuke. Sakura then stopped her "lesson" on Naruto and stared at her 'special friend'.
"Hn?" was the common response from the group assembled in the cafeteria. Now even the ANBU were paying attention non -the less the stoners in the corner. Itatchi knew this was inevitable.
"Finally, he will admit that he likes guys. Took him long enough" the older stoner mumbled so that only Tobi/Mandara/Obito/??? could hear.
"Sasuke likes guys! Tobi's a good boy and Sasuke likes guys!" shock filled the silent room.
"That's not true! Your a liar Tobi! Your not a good boy at all!" now Tobi was gaining a lesson from the pink haired girl.
"Once again, how do you know, Sakura?" the emo took a step closer to Naruto who was on the ground 'recovering from the lesson'.
"You can't like guys. . .because. . . " Sakura was keeping a secret from her lover. A big secret.
"Because. . .?" Sasuke sat down, intimately close to the blonde.
SILENCE
"I'm. . .Pregnant!" she finally blurted out after witnessing her emo prince and once believed soul-mate, hold the idiot blondes hand. The way he held her hand.
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22.
THE LAST
SONG
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In a corner was Sasuke, Naruto, Ino, Sakura, Itatchi(who wanted to know why he was an uncle), Tobi (who followed Itatchi) and the nurse(who was able to 'see' if Sakura was really pregnant or not).
"Yup! You're pregnant all right, eight and a half weeks. You want to know the sex?" the nurse said with a yawn.
Half yelled NO while half yelled YES. Ino, Tobi and Itatchi said yes while the others said no. Since the parents said no, the nurse didn't tell 'them'. As the nurse walked away, she whispered 'It's twins, a boy and a girl.'. Itatchi began foaming at the mouth and twitching. His parents were going to in the bet. The bet was Sasuke would have 5 kids before Itatchi lost his virginity, and Sasuke was already halfway there. The stoner's nose began bleeding too.
"How. . .did. . .this. . .happen? Emo's. . .have. . .slow. . .sperm. . .and. . .don't. . .have. . .kids. . ." the emo was currently cutting his wrist vertically (which is suicidal).
"That's not true, it's a common fact that emo boys have the best sperm. The reason they don't have kids is they kill themselves before their girlfriends/lovers inform them of their pregnancies. It's common knowledge, Sasuke.(I don't know if this is true-I'd like to know if it is or not- statistics please)" everyone was shocked because it was Naruto who had just said this.
"I didn't know that, so it's not common knowledge." it was Kakashi. So he did come, huh?
"Why are you here Kakashi?" Ino finally decided to speak.
"Do you even know who the father is, Sakura? Sasuke isn't the only person you were with eight and a half weeks ago, was he? Now tell the truth." the seniors eyes were glossy, they seemed able to pierce someone's soul, also, his eyes put fear into Sakura's heart. Sakura couldn't lie any more, she had to finally tell the secret she's been hiding for so long.
"What is he talking about, Sakura?" the slut of the group looked worriedly at her pregnant best friend.
While Kakashi was speaking, Naruto had ripped his shirt and was wrapping the emo's arms up since no one seemed to care Sasuke had tried to commit suicide, again.
Elsewhere, Temari and Shikamaru had just showed up in time to dance the last dance of the night. This dance was called the 'Hokage Waltz' (Yes it's a dance, deal!)
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23.
FATHER
CHRISTMAS
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"Do you remember what day was eight and a half weeks ago?" the pink haired girl began, remembering that horrid night.
"Umm. . .it was. . The Halloween Celebration, right?" Ino pondered.
FLASHBACK
Everyone was at the party, having fun and drinking sake, even Lee(somehow he was under control). Sakura was smiling in the corner, feeling awkward and shy.
"Your pretty . . . cute, I guess." a voice said from behind Sakura, and turned around and saw a 'Greek god', Kakashi. "Let's take a walk to the woods."
READERS: 'Greek god' was taken from Laurie Halse Anderson's novel Speak. The situation is similar but that book/movie is not my only source
And so the two walked and talked like nothing was wrong, like nothing bad was going to happen. Once Kakashi and Sakura were far enough from the party that no one could hear, or see, Kakashi stopped and pushed Sakura to the ground. The senior took off the freshman's shirt off with a rip and pulled down her panties from under her skirt. He raped her, she never had the chance to say 'no' because he put her scarf over her mouth so tight she could barely breathe.
After he was done, Sakura stumbled home, took a shower and changed. She then decided to take a walk into the freshman common room and maybe eat some popcorn and begin to forget. Sasuke was in the common room. He smiled when he saw Sakura; he was in the mood for a make-out session since Itatchi had just kicked his ass, again. Sakura sat next to the emo and immediately started making out with him, yet remembering the rape from earlier. That's how Sakura and Sasuke hooked up for the first time.
Aww filled the air around the corner where the few teens had huddled. Sasuke was pissed, he got up and tried to punch Kakashi, didn't work because the emo had lost too much blood and fell to the floor mumbling "That bastard!"
"So you see, the child could be mine." Kakashi walked closer to the cowering Sakura. No one could move. "Sakura, you know better than me the chances of this child being mine. . ."
"STEP AWAY FROM THE PREGNANT TEENAGER YOU SON OF A BITCH!" it was the 'real' Kakashi. "YOU JUST FILLED THAT GIRLS MIND THE FACT THAT I RAPED HER EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T EVEN SEE HER THAT NIGHT! YOU LYING PEICE OF CRAP SHOW YOUR TRUE SELF!"
A poof of smoke revealed Orochimaru.
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24.
THE CHRISTMAS
REVELATION
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"I almost had that brat give me the Uchiha children. . .damn!" the snake master thought to himself.
"So. . .what I remembered didn't happen?" the pink haired teen was confused and feeling nauseous.
"At least the part about me raping you." the senior of the Leaf stared maniacally at the Sound senior, those two have been rivals since elementary school. Now the rivalry will end, here and now.
I'm not going to go into the details of what happened, but let's just say Orochimaru is homophobic.
As the Sound senior was being wheeled off to the hospital with Kabuto at his side, Kakashi simply explained, "Orochimaru wants an Uchiha child and he thought if Sakura thought I was the father of her children not Sasuke she'd sign custody of the kids to him if I told her to. He's even more of an idiot than Gai." the Leaf senior walked away saying, "By the way it's 2 in the morning, Christmas is over."
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25.
FINAL
WORDS
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The blonde freshman said it simply, "I hate Christmas."
NOTE TO READERS: This was fun wasn't it? Sorry it wasn't up in time for the holiday, but my local internet provider was being an idiot. Better late than never, right? Well enjoy your day and don't be like Kankuro who is still in the garbage can. smiles at the ideas I have for the next installment