Take away your things and go
You can't take back what you said, I know
I've heard it all before, at least a million times
I'm not one to forget, you know
Wiping the tears off your face with the back of your hand, you stifled a sniff of your nose. Punching down the last of your clothes into the way-to-small traveler's backpack, you bound the loose laces tightly, to hold it all together. This time it was over for sure. You'd leave him and you'd never look back. Never. One more deep breath was all you needed, before walking over to the small, brown dresser, picking up the ivory-colored envelope, and placing it thoughtfully on the white sheets of the bed you used to dwell in with him. The sun sent some rays through the window which tickled you, but no matter how beautiful the day was, in your heart it seemed so dull and gray. You couldn't help but stare at the envelope for a while, wondering why it all came to this. But the anger was quick to arise inside of you the longer you thought about him. This bedroom no longer seemed welcome to you, and not even the sun could change this fact.
This time he had really pushed his boundaries to a breaking point. How often had you heard "It had no meaning!" or "Nothing happened" from him and how often had you smiled and endured, while he spun his web of lies. No matter what, you were not the only one, and you knew it too well even though you didn't want to see it. But Sinbad had too many words of love, for too many people, and in the end, you were just one of the meaningless flirts. Even if it was hard to forget all the evenings you spent with him, it was even harder to stay by his side when all he did was use you like a tissue to blow all his loneliness into. Frustrated you let out a groan, punching the letter into the soft mattress with a clenched fist, leaving it behind wrinkled, as you picked up your backpack - swiftly swinging it over your shoulder - and stormed out of the room.
I don't believe, I don't believe it
You left in peace, left me in pieces
Too hard to breathe, I'm on my knees
Right now
Every step you took, your mind was in a tumult. You should go back, your heart whispered. Forget him, your head demanded. What if you'd regret it later? "What if I don't," you hissed at yourself. Your mind was clouded, but you always kept a steady pace. It was necessary for you to get out unseen though you couldn't help being recognized by some confused attendants, who tried to greet you. Keeping your gaze low, you quickly wiped away the few tears that dared to run down your cheeks and reminded yourself in between the sniffs that it was the right thing to do. This relationship tore you down more than it could ever keep you on cloud seven. Sinbad was a fisher and he constantly threw out his rod to catch you when you were sinking, only to make you suffer on the surface.
"[Name]!" That voice alone was enough to shake you in your beliefs, as well as freeze any drop of blood in your whole body. You knew he was sprinting down the hallways, only a few steps necessary to reach you. Your back turned, he had a good view of the backpack, making him frown. "Where are you going?" he asked, his voice as demanding as bittersweet in your ears. "Away." You stopped your sentence to turn around, facing him head-on with tears on the brim of your eyes. "Away from you."
I'm so sick of that same old love, that shit, it tears me up
I'm so sick of that same old love, my body's had enough
I'm so sick of that same old love, feels like I've blown apart
I'm so sick of that same old love, the kind that breaks your heart
"Why?" he asked. There was concern in his gaze. You noticed him reaching out his arms to appease you, but you harshly pushed them away. "I can't anymore!" you explained, the hot tears finally flowing down from your eyes and over your cheeks. There was no reason to give him any account for your actions, but there was so much you wanted to tell him. "I love you too much to be treated like a concubine by you, Sinbad! I deserve so much more than being the presentable object on your arm, whenever there's a festivity, and I am so done with smiling and agreeing to every one of your lies!" You couldn't help but appreciate the fact, that you got the words out of your throat, already feeling a bit better after facing him directly.
Even so, your body shivered at every expression you saw forming on his face. Some part of you would have liked to apologize now and take back what you started with your words. But your clenched fists and the feeling of exhaustion that washed over you, again and again, kept you restless and realistic. No matter how much your feelings tattered around inside of you, it was nothing like the breaking of your heart, every time you saw him kiss another person, run his hand through their hair, and tell them he loves them. You were so sick of it. So sick with being never enough to satisfy the man you loved so wholeheartedly. So sick of being just an love-needing person for him, which he could shelter as long as he pleased and then let go again at his leisure.
"[Name]! Wait, let's talk!"
"No, Sinbad. There are no lies anymore to talk about!"
I'm not spending any time, wasting tonight on you
I know, I've heard it all
So don't you try and change your mind
Cause I won't be changing too, you know
"You should be drinking, you know," your friend noticed, clinking her glass against yours in an attempt to make you sip on the stinging alcohol. You just shook your head. Everything - the wine, the lights, the dancers - reminded you of him. Soon, you'd be gone from Sindria, but it wasn't like you could just jump on any boat and leave. "At least stop thinking about him then and enjoy the company of the best of your friends!" She was right, there was nothing speaking against that and you knew it too well. This could very well be the last day you two spent together, and here you were still moping. A sigh left your lips, as you lifted your glass saying cheers to her, trying your best to put a smile on your face. "Oh, damn," your friend muttered suddenly. You gave her a questioning look, slightly turning around on the bench, to where she was looking. The purple hair shimmered even in the light of the flames, as it made its way over to your table. You hated it for looking beautiful even now.
There were some serious wrinkle on Sinbad's forehead when he reached you, panting lightly. Had he been searching for you desperately, or why was his breathing so ragged? If that's what you wanted it to be, would it be considered hopeful thinking? "Finally," he muttered, his gold shimmering eyes fixating yours. You didn't even see it coming, as his hand took yours, pulling on it lightly. "You have to come back with me, [Name]," he explained. "I need you. I will better myself, please don't leave me."
"No…" you muttered, the grip on your hand slowly fading as he let go.
You can't believe, still can't believe it
You left in peace, left me in pieces
Too hard to breathe, I'm on my knees
Right now
There were so many questions he wanted to ask. Yes, Sinbad knew he wasn't the perfect lover. Hell, he wasn't even a good boyfriend, if that was what it's called. But all he ever wanted was for his partner to be happy. They had their ups and downs, but he had always been there for them, why were they so unwilling to hear him out? Had there been nothing in all the nights they spent together, were all the vows they made invalid? They knew what they had with him and he never said he could stay away from petty adventures that seemed to have brought forth these feelings in them. Sinbad couldn't possibly understand how they felt, torn between their love and their pride. All he knew was that it wasn't supposed to be like this. He belonged to them, they belonged to him.
"I have to go," they muttered. Their words were so hard to understand in the loud atmosphere of the Maharajan and yet they pierced him deeply in that half-fallen heart of his. There was no way he could ever see eye to eye with them, understand what they were going through. Even so, he felt hurt. Everything stung in his body. His head, his heart, his stomach, the pain was everywhere, and at the same time nowhere to focus on. He could only look after them, as they got up and left, their friend bowing by courtesy to him before following them. What was he supposed to do?
Sitting down on the bench, his lover just sat on seconds ago, he propped his arms on his knees and his head on top of it. From this place, he was able to see all over the festivities. But what meaning had it, when they were not with him. What was he supposed to do without them?
I'm so sick of that same old love, that shit, it tears me up
I'm so sick of that same old love, my body's had enough
I'm so sick of that same old love, feels like I've blown apart
I'm so sick of that same old love, the kind that breaks your heart
The breeze softly swayed through your hair, as you waited to be let onto the ship. It finally was the time to leave. Leave all this behind. This island, all the memories, all this god-forsaken heartache. You smiled wryly at the person leading you inside and quickly walked to your room to drop your luggage off. Soon the ship would bring you far away. Just one more time you wanted to see the town you called your home for so long. Making quick progress with the way up to the surface, you placed yourself at the back of the ship, just in time for the start.
Unrelentlessly, the tears streamed from your eyes as the ship started to move. You couldn't have used your last moments to look at the houses, not when he was all you could see. Your eyes were way to occupied with Sinbad standing at the docks, looking up at you with just as much pain in his expression, as you felt in that moment. You were so sick of this.
So sick of the same old love you had for him, even after all that happened.