Author's Note: This story is from the Gravity Falls Transcendence AU. If you are not familiar with the Transcendence AU, this may not be the best story to start with; however, this contains basically no spoilers for the AU or for the Gravity Falls show. You may find yourself wondering why I listed Dipper as a character in the story, though. If you want to know where to find the Transcendence AU, find Transcendence-au on Tumblr and look at their Fic Masterlist.
The Lesser of Two Evils
A Gravity Falls Transcendence Alternate Universe Fanfiction
Lisa stared at the unnatural, evil monstrosity before her in horror. She couldn't get past it, she couldn't get rid of it, and no one could help her. Thankfully, it wasn't advancing on her, but it was between her and the door, and her only other exit option would be a window that led to a four-story drop with no chance of mitigating the fall damage. She looked around, desperate, before deciding to fall back on what she learned in Demonology class. It was stupidly dangerous to call on a demon, but her only options were to face an evil, monstrous, mindless killer or to take her chances with a cruel, cunning, conniving demon, and Lisa would rather take the second option.
With her shaking hands, she couldn't even draw a circle properly. She realized that she still had a cup in her room, however, and used that to draw the inner ring of the tiny summoning circle before sketching out an outer ring as best as she could. She knew that such a tiny circle could never hope to hold any demon, much less the one that she was about to summon, but it was her only choice. She hastily drew the symbols as best as she could remember before setting the circle on her desk. She then realized that she couldn't remember his chant. Her one advantage was that she was currently in her second year of high school Latin, so she decided that she could at least try to make one up on the spot. Trying to keep all of the forms correct, she wrote out on the page:
Adjuva me, stella gemina, in horam malam meam. Te voco. Nomen tuum voco: Alcor
Judging it to be good enough for a rush job like this (though she really wished that she could remember a masculine or neuter word for "star" instead of "stella," and she wished that she could say "my hour of need" instead of "my bad hour"), she hastily chanted it while using a small pocketknife to draw a bit of blood from her fingertip.
"W̨͓̖̞̜͌͊̈́̆͘H̡͈͓̫̘́̈́̐̐̃O̤̤̺̳̘̿̀͂̀̀ ̙͍͇̮̂̾̀̿̿͜D̨̜̖̲̘͐̆̀̏̈́A̛̹̯͉̪̤͑̅̽́R̡̝͕̹̆̀̋͒̍ͅȨ̩͉̹̰̔̔̃̚͝Š͕̗̮͕̠̊̎̍͠ ̢̮̺͈̱̿͂̌̋̾S̹̬̭͉͙̓̎͊̎͛Ư̡̼̳̱̗͑̑͛̃Ṁ̨͚̱̩͖́̽̓͘M̙̯̬̥̜̎̎̊̔̐O̞̙̖̯̦̍̀͛̐͝Ņ̟̮̩̭̓̌̎̓́ ̱̠͖̪̜̔͋̏̕͠Ă̧͈̳͇̄̉̌̕͜L͈̩̫̝̘̐͐̇̊̀C̭̺͇̭͚͐̀͒̚͠Ǫ̳̬̲̹̋̂̉̚̕R͎͇̫͔̗͒͋̿͐͠ ͉̥͓̦̫̽̏͘͠͠Ṱ̡̖̝̰̔͊̊̀̈́H̡͍̫̯̼͆̓̑́̀Ę̲̖̝̘̑̾̀̾͝ ̡̙͕̺̱̓̄̍̔́Ď̝͎̙̥̼̐͋͊̀R̡̘̤͓̹͊͛̃̋̋E͓͙̬̝̜̊̅͐͗̕A̯͉̫̬͎͐̎̐͝͝M̨̛̖̩͇̐̋̐͋ͅB̭̤͉̬̀͆͋̋͘ͅE̟̗̻͍̘͆͆͐͆͘N̨̰̫̪͎̍͂̌͋͠D̢̮̳̻̈́̓́̽̀ͅE̩̪̱̮̠̒̈̿̾͠R̢̨̹̰͔̈́̐͛̒͂?̥͎͈̙̔̍́̕͠ͅ" a terrifying voice asked as an intimidating form appeared above the circle.
Lisa squeaked a bit, but she managed to choke out, "I did! I need your help!"
"W̜͊h̓ͅa̪͆t͚͠ ̪̄d͈͊õ̠ ̦̒y͎͂ő͉u̪̇ ̞̋n͖̚e̹̋e̗͂d̮͝ ̰͠h̨͒e̘͋ḻ͝p̣̏ ̙̓w̛͇ḯ̝t̢͝h̰͂?͈̇" Alcor asked. His voice was less terrifying and more annoyed the second time.
"I need you to get rid of this awful creature in my room!" Lisa pleaded. "I need you to save me from it!"
A few expressions flicked across the demon's face ranging from confusion to surprise to disbelief to amusement. "Y̹͂o͓͛u͕̓ ̄͜s̖̊u̺͊m̢̊m̯͐ó̺ṋ͌ḛ̎d̢̈́ ̹̏m̦͂e͉͐ ̝̒j̯̿u̲͊ṣ̑ț͂ ̨͐t̺̄o̙̅ ̽ͅh̥̊a̫̔v̨̿e̡̓ ͍̋m̲͝e̩͂ ̨͌g̺̈́e̱̍t̲̾ ̲̑ŕ̩ĩ̥d̲̂ ͖̽ò̭f͖̃ ͔͂a̢͊-̥̒"
"Yes!" Lisa yelled desperately. "Please! Just name your price, please! I just want it gone!" A few tears slipped down her face from the pure stress of the whole situation.
"N̴̠̯̫̹̭̣̎̄̉́̌̍E̶̢̮͓͙͛̄̈́̽̇̓͜ͅṾ̵̫̟̰̲̖̅̄̃͗͑̀Ę̷̨̩͚̯͔̃̂͊̉͂̚Ŕ̶͈̲̪̼͕̿͑̄͑̀͜ ̵̨̱̫̹̤͇̾́̋͒̌͝I̷̧̖̬̭̝̟͛̊̂̅̃͘N̷̫͙͓̯̜̍̂̂̍͒̚ͅT̷̹̪̺͔͔̞͌̔̆͘͝͠E̷̼͕͉̳͓̾̄̅͛̌̓ͅR̷̢̭͔̹̋̐̄̎̄͐͜͜Ŗ̷̼̜͚̖͛̅̒̎̀͋ͅU̵̳̹͙͍̟̯͊̉̎͊̀̇P̶͚͔̫͇̪̙̍̊̔́̓̿T̵͕͚̝͔̘͕͊̏̐͛̽͒ ̴̧̱̖̻̭̣̈́̿̉͐̈́̏A̸̢̯̹̯̯͍̓̀̒̊̈͘ ̴̼͖͉̩̖̤̀̒̔̓̐̕D̴͚͎̜̙̤̦͆̈́̏̊̏͝Ȇ̴͙͇̦̤̯̱͋̓̂́̚M̶̮͇̝͙̹͒͆̆͗̍͘͜O̵̤̥͙̜͖̳͐̓̊̊͌̕Ń̸͍̼̪̺͓͍̑̌͑̇͗,̵̨̧͖̫͇̤̂̍̑͑̀͛" Alcor said in a reprimanding manner.
Lisa shrunk back, speechless, before Alcor continued in a calmer voice,"I̧̕ ̡͘ŵ̹ô̜ụ̈́l͖̍d̨̑ ͓́b̟͂e͎̽ ̊ͅw̳͌i̠̇l͎͂l͍̐ḯ̮n̦͗ğͅ ͈̓ẗ͈́o͖͂ ͇̀g̹͛e̫͝ẗ͈ ̝̇r͚͝i̫̕d͕̕ ̫̋ö͔́f̻̐ ̣̆i͖̊t̼͒,̭̈ ̡͑h̺̋o͙̓ẘ͉é̲v̳̆e̞̿r̘̐,̆ͅ ̼̓i͎͋n̻͝ ̝͠ḛ̉x̤̂c̟̿h̙͋á̤n̹̔g͔̏e̒ͅ ̦̈́f͈͊o̫̒r̤̃ ̺͛y̦̐o͓͝u̺̔ ̳̾g̲̚i̝̐ṿ̿í͔n̻̎g̼͒ ̘͝m̗̾e̫̓ ̩̏s͖̕o̫͐m̳͂é̘ ̧̉o̪̚f͈͂ ͎̃t̢̑ȟ̙a̲̒t̡̔ ̞̆ś̢p͍̔ȩ̃c̻̍ḯ͜a̭̾ḻ̀ ̤̃h̛̩i͚͂g͂͜h̖͐-͚͝è̩n̡̊e̙̾r̘̃g̭̿ÿ̨ ̜̓ě̞d̙̍ï͚t̗̑i̗͆ö̡́n̡͐ ̟̐P͎͛i̩͊ț̍ṱ̂ ̜̀C͓̏ö̖l̠̋à̮ ͙͂y̘͋ȍͅǔ͉ ̤̚h̛̟a̹͆v̡̀e̢͛.͈͝"
Lisa briefly considered asking what a demon wanted with cola before she decided that as long as he got rid of the horrifying creature lurking in her bedroom, she didn't care. "Deal!" she shouted, and she initiated the handshake.
Bemused, Alcor took her hand. With a simple wave of his other hand, the spider (which had a leg-span of less than 8 inches across) disappeared, along with half of Lisa's pack of Pitt Cola. "F̗̕o̬͐r̜̾ ̱̅f̲̚u̺̿t͔̓ǘ͔r͖̽e͇͘ ̭͂r̲̊e̗̐f̤͆e̩̍r̰̄è̟n͔͘c͕͊é̠,̭̊" Alcor said, "d̻̰̰̔̄͝o̖͚̤͗̽̈n͍̦̋̂͆͜'̢̙̳̒̐̓ṭ̠̪͒̒̚ ̧̫̆̂̀ͅs͇̬͙̊̓̕ụ̢̰̌͑̽m̥̳̞̅̿̾m̝̦̣̎̂͐ō͈͈̍̓ͅn̰̪͍̐̈̀ ̥͉͕̏̋̾ā̙̦̂̆͜ ͕͇̹̒̽̓D̪̱̥̃́̄È̢̗̤̀̿M̙̹̟͂̊͋Ổ̢̲͈̿Ǹ̨͓̞̓͆ ͇̲̯̀̂̉ṫ̛̳̩͇͊ö̡͕̘̌͒ ͔͎̯̐͛͝d̡͓̬̆͂̐o̢̧͉̓̀̅ ̳̪̲̆͊̈́ǎ͚͔͎͋̈́n̼̻͓͋͑̕ ̭͙̳͑̐̑E̩̮̻͛̀͋X͕̖̩̿͐̓T̛̻̲̖͆͆Ȅ̱̪̖̈́̆R̨̛͉̠̍̕M̨̼̘̃̔̕Í̮͉̱̀͒N͍͚̣̍̀̄A̪̪͕͑̓̇T͚̥̗͊̔̃Ơ͍͖̣͘͝R̭̟̣̔̇͝'̳͎̼͆̇̿S̡̥͎̈́͝͠ ̖͕̫͋̀̎j̡͈͌͝͝ͅǒ͔̪͔̎̈́b̞̙̗̈́͛͝.̥̥̙́̔̕"
Lisa opened her mouth to protest that she couldn't have waited for an exterminator, but Alcor had already disappeared.
Author's Note: The Latin really was off the top of my head while writing this. I didn't look anything up, as I wanted it to be what I would end up saying if I was in that situation. This includes the cases and endings, so if one of them is wrong, that's because it's purely from memory. It translates to: "Help me, twin star, in my bad hour. I call you. I call your name: Alcor."
Best summoning chant ever, right? (I'm just kidding.)
The picture was something I sketched from a reference picture on what's basically a Post-It Note. Again, it's what I would do in that situation, since the closest paper to me was a tiny square of paper. I wrote out the summoning chant on it, too, to imitate what Lisa's paper would have looked like. I do not own the summoning circle design; I found it on the Transcendence AU wiki. (You should look it up.)
I don't know about any of you, but Zalgo text can get annoying, so here is Alcor's dialogue in order minus the Zalgo effect:
WHO DARES SUMMON ALCOR THE DREAMBENDER?
What do you need help with?
You summoned me just to have me get rid of a-
NEVER INTERRUPT A DEMON.
I would be willing to get rid of it, however, in exchange for you giving me some of that special high-energy edition Pitt Cola you have.
For future reference, ... don't summon a DEMON to do an EXTERMINATOR'S job.