Ella - you requested this, or rather dared it, and I am so sorry its so late hug Emmy - Because you're pretty damn ace, as much as it pains me to admit it ;) Ellie - youre AWESOME! And I need to return all the favours you've done for me Jess - for helping so much with my other fic, and letting me be a mod eek! Cammie - Because even during my ohsoserious interview, we managed to think up the CyberWilmy trip Loes - we're going to be mods together hahaha Sneha - we seriously seem to be soo similar! Courtie, Mara, Shaz, I really love that we can just start talking to each other like that snaps fingers and then to germaine, cheyenne, marta, sarah, sarah, miranda, mary, jen, eva, mel, mel, shaz, al, allie, krystal, steph, brittany, jo, alyssa, candy, mic, line, leanne, lilmzzchubby, roswelldreamgirl, simplyb, lot2luv09, jules, hope, chloe, jess, hayley and anna.
Also to Lynn and Gracie, who I love as well and are classed as some of my BL girls even though they don't post in the thread :D
So for this oneshot, its AU, all you really need to know is Brooke and Lucas did date. And theyre in all honesty the only people mentioned in this story.
Hope you enjoy and please review :D and dont worry, this one has a happy ending...
-
Ice Blue I Love You's
(Because the hardest thing to say in life is 'I love you'.)
She had never thought that it would be this awkward. Well, maybe she had expected it to be, but she certainly had never wanted it to be this awkward, all the times that she had imagined it before. Because she had; she used to all the time. Back when they were dating, she had thought about it constantly; what it would be like with the two of them standing up on stage, their hands clasped together, untied as they stood beside each other.
Lucas Scott and Brooke Davis.
Prom King and Prom Queen.
It still sounded good; that was the problem. Because stood on that stage, if she was being honest to herself and everybody else, there was no-one else she would rather be with.
Satisfaction, at both being named Queen and the person beside her turned to blind panic as she realised what would come next. She had been waiting for this day since she had started school and it turned out that she was the Queen Bee. With the tiara perched atop her head and the crown on his, there was only one formality left to take a part in.
He had never been able to dance. He knew that and she knew that. But what she also knew was that he was trying to, for her. She smiled lightly as she looked around the room, taking in the scene that was her eighteenth birthday. There were people wasted all over the place yet for once, she wasn't. She just hadn't felt the need. There were plenty of kegs around the for the people that wanted or maybe even needed it, and there were couples grinding out all over the dance floor; in other words, the middle of her living room. And there he was, trying to convince her to dance by pulling the stupidest moves in the world. She had to admit, it was making her laugh; and it would be social suicide if she had let him stay looking like that. So she went over to him, and instead of pulling her towards him to grind against him, he pushed his lips to hers in a sweet kiss that she longed would never end. Of course it did, but the smiles on both of their faces showed how much it meant to the both of them.
She had honestly never been happier. Brooke Davis had always been the slutty one, the girl who the guys wanted to fuck with no strings attached. She had always pretended that she was up for it, but in reality she was falling apart inside, each time another guy shoved himself into her, causing pain that she had to mask with what they thought was a pleasurable scream. In reality it was anything but. Brooke had wanted to be taken seriously by somebody, anybody, but she had never felt like it would happen. Not until she was out of high school in any case. She had always said to herself that once she was off to college, after she had scraped through school, she would change into another person. But with senior year beginning, that thought was drifting further and further from her mind.
Until she met Lucas Scott. He was the newly popular guy, after a long story that she hated to think about as it gave her a migraine. Basically, start of senior year he and Nathan Scott had found out they were brothers. It sounded like the oddest thing in the world, but Brooke had found out long ago that anything could happen in the town called Tree Hill. There had been an instant attraction between her and Lucas, a relationship blossomed that no-one had seen coming. He was the sweet, caring basketball player and she was the slutty, bitchy cheerleader.
But he saw something else in her and she loved him for that. They had begun to date and they had now been together for a couple of months. In those months, she had tried to let him into her heart as much as she possibly could and he had accepted everything she gave him graciously. She was eighteen, she had an amazing boyfriend and life couldn't have been any better.
Too bad that all changed, Brooke thought to herself bitterly as she walked down the steps into the middle of the floor, ready to begin the slow dance which had cause her so much dread only seconds before. Her mind in utter confusion, she reluctantly linked her hand with this, letting his other hand snake around her back as she hesitantly placed hers gently on his shoulder. She silently cursed all the people who had voted for the two of them - because they should have known better; the teachers of Tree Hill High because of the stupid traditions that they held; him for the way the touch of his hand on her back was sending light tingles up and down her spine; and mostly her, for still having all the feelings she had tried so desperately to discard.
They began to sway slowly to the music which had just began and she had to refrain from chuckling to the song which was playing. In one way, the words related to her entirely. In another, they contradicted her completely.
Doesn't really matter
How the time goes by
'Cause I still remember you and I
And that beautiful goodbye...
Their goodbye had been anything but beautiful, and as she remembered, she felt tears sting the back of her eyes. Doing the one thing she promised to herself she would never again do, she looked up, locking her eyes with his. She knew he was looking deep into her very soul, something that she had never been able to master with him, and she tried not to let herself choke up as the memories came flooding back.
When I see you now, I wonder how,
I could've watched you walk away.
If I let you down,
Please, forgive me now
For that beautiful goodbye...
There was no way she could have stopped him. There really wasn't. But her heart burned in sync with her eyes as she remembered. She had in no way let him down; she couldn't have. He was the one to walk away. He, the boy so apparently good with words, had been the one to throw hers back in her face. Him, the one person she had thought she could trust more than any other had stomped her to the ground, not thinking what state she may have been left in. Because he simply didn't care.
In these days of no regrets
I keep mine to myself
And all the things we never said
I can save for someone else…
That was the problem. She had said how she felt; it was him who had decided to close up. Or maybe there was no need to close himself up, because he had never opened himself to her in the first place. Maybe he had just thought of her as a good lay, like all the rest of them. She supposed that he would have known she would be better if she actually cared for him. And he had been right; she had thought they were making love so she took the time, the care, and gave him the pleasure she thought he deserved. Another major mistake on her part; he had never been making love. Brooke could feel a sharp cold tear fall down her face, and though her eyes were slightly blurred, she could see the concern etched on his face. Concern, she almost laughed at herself, that was ridiculous. You couldn't feel concern if you didn't care. She tried not to let the tear ruin her makeup, but she didn't dare wipe it from her eyes as she knew that the whole of her class was watching her, so instead she willed herself to not let another drop. It worked, that was for sure, as none of the people on the outside of the room had noticed. But he had, and that was the problem. Because she had finally shown him the weakness she had promised herself never to do.
One single tear, and it had now brought down all of her defences that she had built towards him.
Baby, what can I do
Oh, to get through to you?
She didn't want to get through to him. If she did, she would have to face the fact that he had never cared for her, and that was something that she knew she couldn't bear, not in the plain white truth that he would give her.
And sometimes I cry, yeah
It's a fool's lullaby
Of course she cried about it. The only way she could stop the tears falling when she was around him was to let them all out in the comfort of her own home. She looked up to him once again and realised his intense stare was still trained on her, even through all the time she had been staring into space. She held his gaze, scared what would happen if she broke it.
And sometimes I cry, yeah
It's a fool's lullaby
Without warning, she felt his head bend down towards hers and his soft lips against her. For a brief second, she relished the feeling she had missed before with horror she realised what she was doing. She broke apart from him and took her shaking hand out of his, before rushing out of the room in a complete daze, not noticing the faces of the shocked people who had viewed the scene; not noticing the tears which were so distressingly rushing down her face.
And sometimes I cry, yeah
It's a fool's lullaby
-
She was ready for this. She had waited so long to be able to utter the words to somebody and she couldn't believe that the time was here so soon. The phrase she was about to utter was such a dangerous one; it had ruined so many lives, it had made so many others. She just hoped it would make hers because at that moment she felt like the luckiest girl alive. She turned her head towards him from the place where she lay, locked beneath his arm. He was so adorable, she could see him concentrating on the film that was 'Beauty and the Beast'. He never liked to admit that he loved the Disney adaptations she adored, but she knew he did.
"Luke?" She whispered softly, not believing that the time had come.
"Yeah, Beauty?" She giggled to herself, wondering why the hell he had called her that.
"What was that for?"
"You. You're my beauty. I know I'm hardly a beast, but you are definitely my Beauty." She laughed softly as she turned her head into his chest. He always knew the ways to make her feel so special inside. Sighing to herself, she said quietly the words she had been waiting to say all day.
"Oh, I love you Lucas Scott." Her body turned cold, ice cold, as she awaited his reply. She could feel his muscles grow tense underneath her and she willed him to say the words back.
"Uh… uh… what did you say?" He had by this time pulled himself from her and was stood up at the side of the bed, not moving a muscle. She sat up too, kneeling up on the bed, brushing the back of her hand against his cheek, trying to convince him that it was okay to say the words back. She knew that he had heard her right, he just needed to be encouraged. She was never scared however, she knew that he would say the words in the end. He had to.
Brooke had never expected him to turn away and leave her standing there, the first in a river of tears that she would shed. He had left her in that room, walking away from the film, from their relationship, and from her.
That had been the end. There was nothing more to say about it. She would have never said 'I love you' had she known that he wouldn't say it back. She wouldn't have put herself out like that. Brooke Davis had always been known to keep her feelings chained up inside herself. With Lucas, she had taken a chance. A chance that had been ripped in two the same way a predator would rip flesh from bones; in the same disgusting, merciless way.
Detachment. It had been the only way to keep herself safe all of those years when she had been hurt by other people. This had been the one time she had let herself become attached and look where it had got her. In any case, it had given her an empty broken heart.
Hatred. It was what automatically came next. She hated him for how he had acted, for what he had done for, and for the longing that she still felt inside of herself. How was it possible that after all of this had happened, she still held a light for the boy who had crushed her?
She found herself sitting on the sign outside of the school which held announcements for what was happening that day. Today's slogan was "Tree Hill Seniors - have a great Prom!' Brooke tried to smile to herself in vain. It hadn't really turned out that way at all. She heard footsteps behind her and tried to ignore them, wishing desperately that it wasn't going to be him. She knew that it would be as soon as the person stopped beside her. He didn't sit down, he just sat there, and watched Brooke whose shoulders were still shaking from the sobs which had encompassed her since she had made it outside, alone. They were quieter now though, and she tried to collect herself as she began to speak; her voice still cracking, the pain evident in it's sound.
"You had no right." She whispered it so quietly that Lucas couldn't hear and so he decided to start the conversation himself.
"I am so sorry Brooke but-"
"You had no right! You had no fucking right!" She screamed, and she felt the trees standing to attention around her. Lucas hung his head, but she knew that he would not give up without a fight.
"Look Brooke, I'm sorry-" She cut him off once more.
"Sorry is just a word Lucas. It doesn't mean anything and it sure doesn't show that you care." The silence hung thick as he tried to think up a suitable answer which wouldn't leave her snapping at him.
"Is that what you think? I do care about you Brooke-" Lucas' voice was forceful, yet when Brooke next spoke, her voice raised that few more decibels and he flinched as he heard her words.
"Bullshit! If as much as an inch of you had ever cared for me, then you wouldn't have walked away." By the end of her sentence however, Brooke's voice snapped, drawn blood; and the last words came out in a low, painful whisper. He heard every word though, and that was what made it all the worse. She had let him right into her soul in that second and she had let him see how much he had hurt her. That wasn't how Brooke Davis was supposed to live; she was supposed to be the girl who kept her feelings close, not the girl who would fall for a boy so hard and fast that she couldn't find her feet. Brooke once again made the fatal mistake of looking into his eyes, and was shocked, angered, by what she saw.
"NO! You can't do that! You cannot look at me, pretending you're hurt. It doesn't work like that. You can't be hurting, not the way I feel: You never loved me Lucas, so don't you fucking dare look at me in that way." He was the one who broke the eye contact this time, and Brooke tried to take some sort of a positive from this. It was hard however; as she knew that she was slowly, in fact now quickly, regressing from Lucas and from anything that the two of them could have had together.
"Brooke you have to believe me - No, you are not going to cut me off yet again. I am going to say what I have to say and after that, you can leave. But please, just think about it. Now I know this isn't what you want to hear but you have to trust me, I do love you, I always have. But it took so long for you to finally say the words to me; I hadn't wanted to say them before because I thought they might scare you off. Kind of ironic, huh, that in the end it's me who ran away. Brooke, look at me," He slowly reached out his index finger to lift her chin, and there was no way that she could ignore the fire that ignited within her as she did so, "It was the biggest mistake of my life walking away then and I know I should have come to you after, to try to explain everything that I fucked up the first time. But I'm supposedly the guy with the words; I mean hell, I want to be a writer after I've pursued basketball, but I couldn't say a thing. My heart had stopped beating and in that second I was terrified that maybe I didn't feel the same. But I now know that it isn't like that, it was never like that." Brooke was reeling from his speech. It had touched her heat and pulled at all of its' strings, yet a part of Brooke still couldn't have faith in him.
"Then what is it like, Luke?" Her voice was laced with tears and she shook at her use of the name she always called him, the one that seemed so familiar, so perfect, "Because all I see is that you've finally come to the conclusion that you'll never find as good a lay as me and so you've used your worthless words to try to weave me back into your life."
She didn't care that it didn't make sense in even her own mind. But she needed to get away. She simply couldn't cope with him being that close to her for a second longer. Brooke felt his eyes burning into her back as she stormed away.
-
She hadn't thought Prom would end with such a disaster. She was supposed to have walked on stage, collected her crown and had an amazing night with her friends. But she should have known by now, that sort of thing didn't happen to Brooke Davis. She stopped herself quickly. She couldn't think like that; it had been something Brooke had always believed in, ever since she had read Shakespeare for the first time. Because even though she acted like she hated it, and that she didn't understand it, she had actually become absorbed into his world and devoured every word of prose.
She had learnt that people don't act, they react. People only ever make an action after somebody has done something to them - things would not happen if there was not some reason. Brooke obviously must have done something, and she guessed that it was her former life, the shell of herself that she had tried to shed herself of. It was never going to completely go away. As much as she tried to reform, as hard as she had tried to change, there would always be that part of her which could switch back at any moment. Brooke was scared for if that ever happened, because it was highly possible that if she snapped, she would be so much worse than she had been before.
Brooke lay on her bed, and forgetting all about her perfectly made up face now ruined; her immaculately styled hair; and amazingly expensive dress, she fell straight into a fitful sleep.
She awoke only five minutes later, her forehead beaded with sweat as she tried to remember what the dream had been about. Vague memories of Lucas came flooding back to her memory and she groaned as she realised that it was yet another nightmare about the day Lucas left her alone.
She wondered to herself whether everything he had said to her was true, or whether, like she had originally thought, it was all just for show. She had to admit that she was keeping the hope inside of her that what he said was true, she couldn't bear it if it wasn't. Brooke was keeping away from him because she wouldn't be able to cope if he broke her heart all over again.
But thinking back to the way he looked at her, she was becoming more and more sure that he was being sincere. Not even the greatest actor could look like that, right?
-
Before she knew what was happening, she was stood waiting for the door to open. She was still dressed in her prom outfit, but after her time laying on the bed and the tears which had drenched her face and dress, she knew she must have looked anything but desirable. None of it seemed to matter as she desperately wished for the door to move, for his face to look out at her.
She could see him looking down at her crumpled red dress, but his expression did not change. She couldn't read it at all yet she could see his eyes dancing in the moonlight. Once again, she had no idea what this meant.
Brooke debated to herself what she should do. Her heart was telling her to go for it. Her head was telling her to stop.
Without a second's more thought, she crashed her lips into his, realising that her heart held the most power, and it always would. Her body shook as he wrapped his arms tightly around her back; feeling the touch she had been craving. She clenched her fingers through his short, blonde hair, trying to clutch his head closer to hers in a means to make their kiss even deeper. She begged him for entrance and he gladly let her, and their tongues danced together as they experienced a moment that they had both been waiting for. He pulled her slowly and gently backwards into his room and lay her silently on his bed, never once breaking the kiss. He couldn't break the kiss; it was their connection. This was going to be the first time that they had been completely in harmony when they made love - before they had both thought it to be a one sided affair. They were going to make it last and they were going to try and feel inside of them more than they ever thought possible.
He dipped his head from her lips and began to kiss her neck, the groans coming from her mouth only encouraging him to kiss harder. Teasingly, he pulled down the straps of her dress, giving each piece of revealed new skin a tiny butterfly kiss as he made his way down. The dress now resting around her waist, he quickly slipped off her bra and captured the flesh in his hands. Massaging them, he could not only sense the pleasure he was causing her, but the pleasure it was giving him as well. Before long, he couldn't resist and took her in his mouth, biting down slowly on her nipple, waiting for the scream that he knew would escape from her mouth. And it did. He could maker her feel like never before and she could hardly take it any longer. She knew it had to be his turn or she would not be able to hold on and so signalling that he could turn the two of them over, she captured him with another quick, searing kiss as she delved her tongue into the deep corners of his mouth.
Slowly, she made her way down his chest, her tongue flicking between his muscles as she unpopped the buttons of his shirt. Without any trouble, she skipped down his trousers and whilst continuing her tantalising actions of her tongue on his chest, she took his hardness in her hand. She groaned against his chest. He was so hard. Harder than he had ever been before, that was for sure and without waiting a second longer she lowered her head and took him in her mouth. She began to suck down, before increasing the pressure and biting down softly on him, encouraged by the moans that he was uttering. She gladly bit down harder when he begged her to, and then she giggled softly when he flipped the two of them over, almost ready for him to be inside of her.
He slipped off the remainders of her dress and kissed down to the top of her panties. He teased as his own tongue flicked and danced beneath the material, and he smirked when she begged him to take them off. Instead, he pushed his lips to hers as his hands took them off, and he slowly entered one of his fingers inside of her as he felt the warm wetness that he craved to feel and ultimately taste. He stoked her, and paying particular attention to her bud, continued to return the pleasure. Knowing that she needed to up the tempo slightly, he pushed another of his fingers inside of her; pushing in as far as he possibly could without hurting her, and he silenced her piercing scream with a single kiss. Knowing that he himself could no longer stand it, he dipped his head down to her thigh and slowly kissed his way up. Entering his head between her legs he slowly, teasingly, mockingly, moved his tongue between her folds, trying to taste every single last drop of her juices. He would not let a single drop go, it was his drug, and she was so wet that the two of them were going crazy, as Brooke desperately clung to the edges of the bed. She begged him to be inside her, she could take it no longer and finally he agreed, both of them knowing that they were now ready. They were not going to take any of it too slow or too fast; it would be at their speed and it would be perfect, for them.
Checking she was ready with his fingers once again, he entered her and her muscles clenched around him as she tried to let him in as far as he could go. He pulled her small waist to him, pulling hard, because he too needed to feel as much of her as possible. Once they had found the speed of each other, they moved as one, their bodies rocking together. She tightened her legs around him, waiting for the waves of pleasure which were about to send shockwaves throughout her body. Sure enough, they arrived and only the reassurance of his lips pressed against hers could slightly stifle her screams. Shortly after, he came, and the two of them lay, trying to catch their breath, on his bed.
It had been amazing, more than words could ever describe. And it meant the world because it had happened with each other.
-
"I love you Lucas." She whispered to him as they looked longingly into each other's eyes.
"I love you too, Beauty." The reminder of this name made her beam and she could swear that she had never felt happier. They both turned on their backs, more than satisfied with the words that had just been shared between the two of them. Ecstatic would have probably been more truthful.
She snuggled into his side, relishing the touch she hadn't felt in what seemed like so long. She debated in her head the events of the day, and finally came to a conclusion when his soft lips lay a caring kiss on the top of her head.
Best. Prom night.
Ever.
-
Song was Beautiful Goodbye by Amanda Marshall.
Please please tell me what you think. I'm not that good at writing oneshots, so I'm trying to write a few more to see if I can get better.
But I really would love your feedback, good or bad :D
Hannie x