Fushigi Gakkou
by Zari Lewis
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi, or any of the characters in it. :(
Note: This is mainly fanservice, by the way. I just had fun writing it :)
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"Please listen up because this is the last time I will say it!" yelled Mr. Suzuno, a bald-headed little man who deep down resented himself. He sighed as he once again noticed that none of his students were (or ever would be) paying attention. He cleared his throat and continued, directing his eyes at the young red-headed student who kept playing with his lighter. "What you need to be learning right now is the basic principles of grammar. Learn to communicate with your peers, and doors will open to you. Isn't that right, Mr. Tasuki?"
"What th' hell ya talkin' t' me about?" the red-haired boy said as he snapped out of his boredom, looking puzzled at his teacher.
"Well, I would like to answer that if you could repeat that with proper grammar." replied the teacher calmly. 'Ha! Now I have him! I have the upper hand and he knows it. Soon he'll be embarrassed in front of his whole class.' Mr. Suzuno thought to himself.
"Fuck you! I ain't repeatin' shit!" snapped Tasuki as he hurled a wad of paper at the bald man.
"Now, Tasuki! That is no way to behave in front of your--"
"REKKA SHINEN!!!" Tasuki yelled as he whipped his tessen out and pointed it at the paper ball. The paper ignited and flew straight at Mr. Suzuno's chest, setting his suit-jacket ablaze. Screaming in terror, the teacher ran towards the window for some reason and fell to the floor, desperately trying to free himself from the burning jacket. Tasuki stood on his desk triumphantly, cackling like a madman. "THAT'S RIGHT!!! DANCE MONKEY, DANCE!!! REKKA SHINEN!!!" he aimed his tessen at the floor and watched as the teacher rolled around helplessly. Finally, he lowered the fan and shot a fang-bearing grin at Mr. Suzuno. "How was that fer a lesson?"
The scorched man raised his finger straight into the air, then pointed it at the door. "Detention office. Now."
Meanwhile, down the hall in the etiquette classroom, a man sat on the teacher's desk looking very sexy, his hair drawn up into a bun and a pair of glasses perched on his nose. "We will give you one more chance to impress us." he spoke sternly at the girl in the schoolgirl uniform in front of him, using his best emperor voice. "Now, take the book and place it on your head, then walk across the room without dropping it."
"Yes sir!" the girl said nervously, twisting her long purple braid around her finger. "What happens if I drop it, Hotohori-sensei?" she asked, biting her lower lip.
The man reached up and undid his bun, then removed his glasses. "There will be consequences." he said and picked up a ruler.
Shuddering, the purple haired-girl picked up the dictionary and carefully placed it on her head. She took in a breath, then began to slowly walk towards the front desk. She paced herself and elegantly walked up to the desk, then purposefully tilted her head. "Oops!" she gasped as the book hit the floor with a thud.
Shaking his head, Hotohori smacked his hand loudly with the ruler and stepped up to the girl. "Oh, Nuriko. What will we ever do with you?"
The young boy sat himself down in a large comfy chair, eagerly awaiting the temptations that surrounded him. Licking his lips, he traced his finger lightly down the spine of his desire, squirming with anticipation. "Don't worry. I'll be gentle..." he whispered to the beautiful treasure sitting on his lap, then opened it to the first page of "Star Wars: The Phantom Menace". Chiriko sighed and became lost inside his book, happily curled up inside the library.
Seven doors over, a certain monk had discovered the band-room. His smiling face twisted into one of confusion as he found what looked like the strangest flute he'd ever seen. It was long and black, and one of the ends looked like a funnel. He picked it up and examined it for a minute, then blew as hard as he could into the first hole. Nothing. Puzzled, he turned it around and blew into the cone-shaped end of it. Again, nothing happened. Flipping it over one more time he exhaled into the small end of it so hard his lips puckered up and out came a loud "QUAAAAK!". Disgusted by the noise, Chichiri threw the clarinet across the room, hearing it hit the ground with a clatter. Satisfied, he turned his attention to a short orange stick, with a white circle on top. Having always loved brightly colored things,he picked it up and studied it carefully, then, using his previous knowledge from the quacking instrument, blew into the smaller end. "DAAHA!" he exclaimed, falling in love with the buzzing-tooting noise the little stick made.
Playing his new found muse, he made his way over to a stack of paper with odd markings on it. They seemed to be some sort of pattern, as they were all written on little lines. In awe of these funny little symbols, the monk peered down to study the strange text, all the while tooting his buzz-stick.
"SEVENTY-THREE THOUSAND YEN!" yelled Taka, standing beside his desk, hand raised high in the air.
"Yes, once again you are correct!" the baffled instructor replied, amazed at how many questions in a row the student had answered. "Alright, now what about eighty-seven multiplied by forty-two?" he asked, enjoying his new student's quickness to arithmetic.
Taka was dumbfounded. "Umm... I don't know."
"What? How could you not answer that?" the math teacher asked and raised his eyebrow.
"Well, it all really depends on what you're talking about. Is it money or food or flowers or what? Because I have no use for anything but money, and therefore I only care to know how to do problems about money--" Taka was cut off as a loud belch exploded over the intercom.
"BUUUUUURP! WILL THE LUNCH LADY PLEASE COME TO THE CAFETERIA AND MAKE MORE RICE? WE SEEM TO HAVE A SHORTAGE!!!" boomed the girly voice.
"Miaka!" shouted Taka as he jumped over a student's desk and bolted to the door.
In the next room sat Tasuki, annoyed that he'd been sent to the detention office. He scanned the room and glared at the detention supervisor, hating every fiber of her being. Tasuki knew he had rights, and sure as hell he wasn't gonna let this stupid bitch ruin his day. The supervisor glanced at him, making Tasuki bare his fangs at her. The supervisor decided she better leave him alone, and went back to grading papers.
"Hey. I like your fangs." said a female voice behind Tasuki.
"What th' hell d' you want?" demanded the bandit as he turned around to face her. His eyes widened greatly at the girl, her beautiful royal blue hair catching him off guard. She had dark blue eyes to match and fair skin, with her pouty lips drawn into a grin.
"I said I think you've got cool fangs." she responded, tossing her head to the side and blowing a bubble with her chewing gum. Tasuki had never seen anything that gave him the rushing feeling he felt from her. Confused and blushing, he quickly furrowed his eyebrows at her, turning his mouth into a scowl.
"Well then you sh'd know that I hate ya!" he growled, not sure of what to make of this feeling.
"Good." replied the girl, blowing another bubble. "'Cuz I hate you too." She turned sideways in her chair again, admiring her turquoise nail polish. Tasuki was yet again baffled by the girl, blinking a few times in surprise.
"Since ya hate me too, maybe we sh'd talk if we have so much in common." the bandit suggested, blushing a little more.
"Miaka!" Taka shouted again. "Miaka! What the hell are you doing?!" he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw his love sitting in the middle of the cafeteria, her bloated tummy pudging out from under her uniform.
"Taka!" she exclaimed loudly, grains of rice flying from her mouth. "Oh no! My rice!" she cried as the little white grains fell on the floor. Rolling his eyes, Taka walked over to his darling priestess and grabbed her arms, hauling her onto her feet.
"Gods, Miaka! How many pounds of food did you eat?" he gasped as he struggled to hold her up. Tears welling in her eyes, Miaka sniffled and buried her face in her hands.
"Y-you... You think I'm fat!" she cried and spun around in Taka's arms, pressing her tear-streaked cheek against his chest.
"No, my darling! Wo ai ni!" He placed his finger under her chin and lifted her face. "I think you are beautiful, you just have quite the appetite." he said softly, and planted a kiss on his beloved's forehead.
"Oh, Taka!" cried Miaka and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him passionately. Soon they're tongues became entwined as their lips locked tightly. Miaka let out a soft moan as Taka began to unbutton her dress, and her hands found the buttons of his shirt as well. He slipped his hand inside her shirt and began to unclasp her bra, gasping as his lover began to trace her fingers up and down his chest.
Mitsukake had been wandering the hallway for the good part of the morning, wondering where Chiriko could have wandered to. The brightly colored scrolls that hung on the walls amazed him. He had never seen such beautiful and lifelike pictures before. He leaned in to study one in particular that appeared to have a picture of a cat on it, staring at it in silence.
"ZOOT!!!"
A loud noise startled Mitsukake and made him slam his face into the wall.
"Ba-ZOOT!"
The noise came again, this time Mitsukake spun around to brace himself for it, but he saw nothing.
"BA-ZOO-ZOO-ZOOT!!!"
Mitsukake jumped a good two feet off the ground and fell flat onto his backside.
"DA-HAA!" exclaimed a familiar voice as Chichiri came into view. He held up the kazoo to his mouth again and blew on it, enjoing the noise. "Are you alright, no da?" he inquired, looking down at his friend. The healer glared at Chichiri for a moment, then chuckled as the monk helped him up.
"You've got quite the toy there, Chichiri." Mitsukake laughed again as his friend happily tooted the kazoo. "By the way, have you seen Chiriko? Or anyone else for that matter? I know we came here to visit Miaka's world, but I'm beginning to fear it might not have been such a good idea. Chichiri shook his head and patted his companion on the back.
"Don't worry! We will find them, no da!" he said triumphantly and made his way down the hall, dancing with his kazoo.
Mitsukake followed the monk a little ways down the hall, when he heard a voice cry out. "Tasuki!" he shouted and ran towards the noise. He heard the voice cry out again, but this time it seemed much more aggressive than in pain. He ran to the door it was coming from and slammed it open, then went completely silent and just stood there staring.
Tasuki was bent over the teacher's desk, panting furiously, with most of his shirt ripped off. He had nail marks in his back surrounding the words, "Property of Miko", and from the looks of it, the girl underneath him was Miko. He heard a muffled cry escape from the other end of the room and he tore his eyes away from Tasuki and his new "friend". The detention supervisor was bound and gagged with what looked like the remains of Tasuki's shirt.
Chichiri was still playing his kazoo happily outside as Mitsukake stook dumbfounded in the doorway. Blinking, he shut the door quietly and continued down the hallway. "Did you find Tasuki, no da?" asked the monk curiously, but the healer remained silent.
The pair made their way further when Chichiri heard another familiar voice. This one was deep, and he seemed very angry about something. Chichiri opened the door cautiously, peering inside. His eyes became wide and his kazoo fell from his mouth.
Nuriko was bent over Hotohori's knee and the dress from his schoolgirl uniform was rolled up past his waist, showing off lacy white panties. "You will behave!" demanded Hotohori as he swatted Nuriko's already bright red backside with a ruler. "You are very naughty, and we will punish you!" he boomed again, slapping Nuriko with the ruler especially hard.
Chichiri decided he was done trying figure out what he was watching and picked up his kazoo, calmly leaving the room. "Chichiri, are our friends in there?" asked Mitsukake. The monk shook his head.
"Yes, but I don't think we should go in there. Hotohori seems to be very upset right now, and I don't think we should bother him, no da." he replied.
The two friends continued down the hallway, talking and laughing about the things they discovered in Miaka's world. Mitsukake had taken a particular interest in the flowers planted outside the school. Though Miaka had told them not to stray from the school, he figured examining the flowers would be alright.
As they walked farther, they heard giggling coming from a large, echoey room. "That sounds like Miaka!" exclaimed Mitsukake. 'That is good!' he thought to himself. 'Miaka couldn't be doing anything disturbing.' he reassured himself as he and Chichiri walked through the double-doors to the cafeteria. Oh was he wrong.
Miaka was lying back on a lunch table, wearing nothing but whipped-cream. Taka seemed busy drizzling chocolate syrup on her, as he licked his sticky fingers. "Oh, Miaka! I will make you into the most delicious sundae ever!" he cried and began to lick the whipped cream off of her stomach.
"Oh, Taka!!! Save some for me!" she giggled as she squirmed under her lover.
Mitsukake looked at the couple and then back at Chichiri. "How about we just write this off as weird and pretend we never saw it?" he suggested to his friend, with a surprisingly straight face.
"Da." Chichiri nodded in agreement and they turned around and walked out of the cafeteria.
"Wonder what Chiriko's doing, ne?" asked Chichiri as they headed to the last wing of the school they hadn't explored.
"I don't wanna know." answered the healer, running his hand through his hair. "Even so, we need to find him so we can all get back to our world." he stated, continuing down the hallway. They came to a big glass door leading into a massive room, full of books. The walls were lined with bookshelves, labeled with all sorts of categories. In the middle of the room was a large black chair surrounded by a few piles of novels and textbooks.
"You're mine now!" came a small voice from behind the chair. Fearing the worst, the healer and the monk gulped and walked around to the front of the chair.
"I'll get you, Darth Vader!" Chiriko yelled, though his eyes were closed and drool was running out the corner of his mouth. He was asleep, the sixth Star Wars book lying open in his hands, next to a purring Tama-neko. Chichiri just looked at him for a moment, then sighed.
"I think we could both use a nap, no da." said the monk.
"A really, really long one." the healer agreed, and they both lied down on the floor, laying out Chichiri's robe as a blanket. What a day.
The End!