Weasley's Scrooged
Epilogue...
A little while after Lily Luna was born, Harry was kind of uncomfortable at first being a polygamist and the trio was wondering why all the portraits of the Potter ancestors especially Harry's parents stopped talking to them and all. The only portraits were made were updated during Harry's Christmas 5th yr and Right before the battle of Hogwarts for Sirius and Remus's portraits, they could talk to them, Remus and Sirius wanted to tell them, but they had to tell Harry first, considering the save that was behind a portrait of an odd landscape, a house on a cliff with rough seas. Was James's pensieve, Remus and Sirius saw what happened as did Lily after she married James, she was glad they received a second chance after what happened before and all.
Ginny sighed, "Remus, Sirius, how come you are the only two portraits that speak to us?"
Sirius said, "Well, i'm not sure."
Ginny placed her hand, "Sirus Orion Black, you know something, you both do, i'm getting sick and tired of it, so is Harry and Luna as well, too."
Remus said, "You remember the Potter curse, Sirius told you about in right before your 4th yr began, there is another aspect, that is only capable of being passed between father to son and husband to wife, other than that, we need to speak to Harry to deliver the news to him, then he will deliver the news to you both, although while ministry laws are different i believe from the afterlife laws, i'm just saying."
Ginny asked, "How bad?"
Sirius said, "Bad worse than Voldemort bad. That's all I can say." James and Lily's portrait just glared at their friends.
Ginny said, "Privacy?"
Remus nodded, "Privacy yes."
Ginny requested Harry to meet with his godfather and uncle's portrait.
Harry got up from the table, "You both can't come?"
Ginny shook her head, "No, according to them, you have to be the bearer of bad news rather odd."
Harry left.
Luna asked, "What do you think this is about Ginny?"
Ginny said, "They said, something about the old ministries laws being quite different from the afterlife laws."
Luna paled, "Afterlife laws?, but i thought, they were just myths?"
Ginny said, "What do you know?"
Luna shrugged, "Not much, but if there is a blood curse, that would have a person supposed to monogamist, and we are technically polygamist, then we might've to go to wizarding hell, but i looked into the potter curse and hopefully that's not the case, but if it is then well, i guess we might've to go to wizarding hell when we die, the punishments are unknown."
Ginny said, "Wizarding Hell, great, just great."
Meanwhile.
Harry entered his father's pensieve.
Hazel tortured James
Flower tortured Lily
Riches tortured Narcissa or Cissy.
were the ones doing the torture
Hazel removed James's man bits and conjured a blender with a lid placed the man bits on the floor and multiplied them by 242,000 times., Hazel told James said, "You will feel phantom pains, when your bits are being blended as would your wives as well too, Flower and Riches are removing their parts and multiplying them by the same amount too and same punishment."
James whimpered with tears in his eyes because of his stupidity and all. Hazel levitated Jame's man's bits and placed them into the gigantic blender. and placed the lid on top and set the time for 484,000 hours. and started the blender and left for 55 yr earthly years, 110 hell years. James survived as did Lily and Narcissa.
Hazel humphed, "Damn, thought you'd disintegrate to dust. but unfortunately, since you didn't i will have to give you another chance this time make sure you only be a monogamist no matter what.
James nodded.
James had tears flowing down his face after the pain he experienced he didn't know wizarding hell was worse than muggle hell, he thought they were similar in punishments and acceptance in forgiveness.
Hazel said, "The wizarding god is more just and less forgiving than the muggle god. I'm sorry bout that though, but it is the truth and all."
James nodded, and rasped, "I understand."
Hazel said, "But unfortunately for you, your sin will carry over and since you experienced this tortured, someone else you know will experience the same torture too."
James asked, "What do you mean?"
Hazel said, "Harry would be the same way before he is given another chance along with his 2 wives and all too. That is what is going to happen, i can't control the damn fate controls it."
James said, "I want to keep my memories, but please, make sure Lils and Cissy both forget. I would like to see your face Hazel. Though i got a hunch as to whom you are."
Hazel asked, "Are you sure?"
James nodded, "I'm sure."
Hazel, Flower, Riches all removed their hoods to reveal the canon version fo themselves.
James said, "I knew it."
Hazel smiled and waved his hand and James disappeared into the past along with his former wives without their memories except James kept his."
Harry exited the pensieve.
Remus said, 'We warned you didn't we, on both accounts."
Harry sighed, "Yes, yes you did. I'm sorry for being an idiot, but i guess i have to accept the same punishment as well, too."
Sirius said, "I suggest showing the girls this as well."
Harry called the girls into the room...
Luna asked, "Harry, what is the matter?"
Harry said with a pale voice of dread, "Well, what do you believe happens when one dies?"
Luna and Ginny both gulped.
Ginny answered, "You join Heaven, right?, but if you lived a life of wrong, then you join hell?"
Harry said, "Close, but off, there is muggle heaven, muggle hell, wizarding heaven and wizarding hell, while we what we are would automatically get us sent to muggle heaven, if we don't live our lives based on the current laws, not the old laws, then we may have to go to wizarding hell. The afterlife's laws don't like Polygamists, and my dad before this current life was one and he and his 2 wives had to go to wizarding hell and then after the punishments were through, they repeated their lives the right way but there was a snag, in others we are going to experience the same punishments as well, too. My father asked for his afterlife experience to be apart of his memory so he could extract it and placed it in a pensieve and all. All Potters are supposed to be mongamists, and since we aren't we all have to go down there and not only that the Potter curse, the 2nd half."
Luna asked, "2nd half?"
Harry sighed, "Second half, which i didn't even know until i watched my father's pensieve. The 2nd half, so who technically is the 1st wife and who technically is the 2nd?"
Luna asked, "What does that half to do with anything?"
Harry said, "Just answer the bloody damn question."
Luna said, "me 1st, Ginny 2nd. Why?"
Harry cursed expletives ones that would make Molly run and hide, "Because considering you aren't a natural redhead, that's why. Potter are supposed to fall in love with red heads only and if they never marry or have the red head as a 2nd wife, no matter, if the potter is widower or a polygamist, then the potter himself, will be going to wizarding hell, no ifs ands or butts about it. That is the 2nd part of the Potter curse. Meaning we won't be joining our families in wizarding heaven when we die."
Luna and Ginny paled.
Luna sighed, "I was afraid of that, I, accept it, but i know i may regret asking this but what is the punishments down there exactly?
Ginny asked, "Yes, tell how bad are the punishments, down there?"
Harry said, "We will each have our torturer and well, phantom pains and well, i can't really explain other by watching my father's previous afterlife. So I suggest you both enter the pensieve to understand the punishment."
Ginny and Luna entered the pensieve and an hour later.
They were shaken to the core.
Luna asked, "That's our punishment."
Ginny said, "Yes, doesn't that seem cruel and unusual punishment."
Harry said, "One thing that stood out to me, was they didn't care as long as it taught the sinners a lesson in their stupidity. So that will be ours as well did you stay until Hazel, Flower and Riches uncovered their hoods?"
Ginny and Luna both shook their heads no.
Harry said, "You'll be surprised then. I am not going to be surprised though."
Ginny sighed, "Oh, well, no use in crying over spilled milk and all, Luna are you alright with the punishment?"
Luna nodded, "Unfortunately, yes, i'm alright, with it, you?"
Ginny said, "I'm outraged it has to be that type of punishment wouldn't repeating your life over and over and over and over again be a better punishment and not succeeding in a happily ever after, or forced to live in a world ruled by Voldemort and all, but harry wouldn't be the boy who lived, Neville would be. Neville would be the one being killed instead."
Luna said, "Don't give them any ideas, Ginerva."
James and Lily had slight smiles, but they were always told not to talk to polygamists in the family as well, unless the polygamy had both red heads.
Remus said, "Well, the polygamy would've work if you guys were smart?"
Luna asked, "What do you mean, would've worked?"
Sirius said, "Blood Chromosomal Adoption, Luna, in order to turn your hair red, if you had red hair, then the portraits would've still been able to talke to you both and all. It wouldn't matter and all. Who were your original parents and all, because the blood chromosomally adoption replaces the chromosomes, with thier adopted parents as well as changes your dna and all, so if you had red hair and was blood chromosomally adopted by two red headed individuals, not the weasleys of course, but their american doppelgangers, then you, Ginny and Harry would've been able to join wizarding heaven, and blood chromosomally adoption doesn't mean shit after the marriage anyways. So you, Harry and. Ginny will have to go to wizarding hell and accept your punishments, no ifs ands or butts about it."
Luna cursed her idiocy for not delving into the Potter curse more thoroughly.
Ginny asked, "But she still could if she wanted to? Right?"
Remus scratched yes, "She could but you both would have to renew your vows again, but this time, it will have to be a blood marriage, minus the soulbonding part, because soul bonding is only for monogamists, while blood marriages, can give you similar abilities to that of a soul bond then only thing it will not give you is sharing magic, and sharing memories. and speaking telepathically, you wouldn't, while, it will be odd similarity, without knowing, it will be as fi they are reading your mind, but your mind still is private."
Luna and Ginny shuddered at the sharing memory part.
Luna asked, "Soul Bonded couples share memories?"
Remus nodded, "Yep, it will start out in infancy just be glad it doesn't start of as a separae entity of being a sperm and an egg. James was traumatized because that's what happened this time. So was Lily they were comforting each other, when Voldemort attacked them, so blood marriage if you want to stay polygamist, if you want to blood divorce that's up to you three, yes blood divorces are after the wives have children, and blood annulments are before the children are even conceived. I know it's splitting hairs, but if you would rather give up on person and all. That would be a good thing, but you still will be going to wizarding hell no matter what you do and i suggest at least try to live as close to the afterlife laws as possible., but if you don't want to get rid of your coloring in your blonde hair luna, you do know what you have to do."
Luna said, "Unfortunately, I kind of hated my color, and i didn't want to well, disappoint my dad and all, but unfortunately when i used an experiement to cut my hair and all. well, i believe changing my hair would be a good thing, but is there a way to change a certain person from two to one and one to two?"
Sirius said, "You mean switching your positions, and which wife is the first?, Yes, well, it has to a blood contract to switch and all. Which somehow I'm kind of glad James put the contracts within the same safe within another another safe. But i suggest you do that after you get blood chromsomally adopted first, then blood marriages then when the blood marriage, then you can switch sections if you wanted to."
Luna sighed, "Will I have to change my name?"
Sirius answered, "Surnames at first yes and adding your new surname to the marriage name after the adoption happens and all. Though there is a Black curse you may want to watch out for. Considering my blood is in harry thanks to his grandmother Dorea and Ginny's grandmother Cedrella."
Luna smirked, "Oh, that curse, those kind of relationships are usually looked down in the muggle world, but we are rarely there so it doesn't matter and all."
Harry asked, "What relationships?"
Remus asked, "Harry, did you know that your father had a sister before she killed herself?"
Harry said, "I had an aunt on my dad's side, why did she kill herself?"
Sirius sighed, "Because, there is a reason why Potter's usually have an only child and all, unless they want incest to happen, because I'm glad i never had a sister otherwise, my mother (shuddered), would've betrothed me to my own sister. Yes, you heard right, i would've been forced to marry my own sister, hopefully it would've been half or step rather than full, that is where my dear old mother drew the line at was a full sibling romantic relationship, she didn't mind adopted, step, or half blooded in more ways than one, but that is what i mean, watch out for your children because of well, that is main reason. of the Black curse and all."
Harry siad, "We will watch out for it."
They did what the portraits said, even though it wouldn't matter anyways, but they still tried to live as close as the after lives laws dictated, and unfortunately after the following children, Luna decided since she couldn't travel as much she wanted to, to discover animals and all and asked for a blood divorce from Harry which he signed her off, and she was happy and as was Harry and Ginny, Luna asked Harry and Ginny to take care of children and gave them sole custody of her children, which Ginny was wondering why Luna wanted the divorce, but Luna didn't have the heart to tell them that in her new life her new chance for saving Harry and Ginny from the tortures of wizarding hell, by allowing her soul to disintegrate, she will be reborn in the new world of course, but she will either be born and die a few days afterwards or be born but dead, or be miscarried.
Once they entered limbo, Death told Harry and Ginny what Luna's plans were and he agreed to do it in order to allow them a second chance, but in the world, Luna will not be an interference and all, no, she will not be born as her previous doppelganger's twin either. Luna suffered and Harry and Ginny asked to forget their lives except certain parts, ginny asked to go by to being a simple child, but heed her father's warning about magical objects, but if the object had compulsion charms and that kind of stuff she knew she would have to suffer again, which she agreed with but as long as she doesn't remember."
Harry wanted to meet his parents' portraits, if they had them made in hogwarts, one day he will find it by going to the library and falling through a trapdoor and the portraits while young, would have the memories of their 21 yr old selfs, but looking 17yrs old and all. Remember the potion education as well, too. As well as his other stuff. You could surprise me if you wish to as well, with whatever you come up with."
Harry and Ginny went back to the past forgetting this life.
TO BE CONTINUED.