A/N: So I know I should be updating "Moving On" But inspiration struck about 2 AM last night for this and I thought this was such a funny concept even nowhere near the holidays. So here you go. Please review and tell me what you think, even if it's crap or that it makes no sense (which it doesn't)
Twas the Night Before Apocalypse
Twas the Night before Apocalypse, and all through the Institute
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Kurt
The training boots were hung by the lockers with care
In hopes of an ass-kicking, sometime soon
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The students were bundled all snug in their beds
While visions of Danger Rooms danced in their heads
And Chuck in his wheelchair and me and my beer
Had just settled down for an after-hours cheer
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When out on the lawn there was a clang and a boom
I jumped outta bed to commit homicide, soon
When what to my awesome nose should appear!
Some douche in a helmet, and eight morons in spheres!
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With his white hair so painful and bright
I knew in a moment it came from a bottle
Slower than molasses they woke their asses up
And he whistled and shouted and yelled at them too!
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"Damn Gambit! Damn Sabretooth! Damn Toad and the Blob!
Fucking Avalanche! Stopit Pyro! Wanda! Stop beating Quicksilver!
Get back in these spheres! We're leaving right now!
You don't deserve a fight - you're annoying as hell!"
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As the boathouse burst into flame they flew,
Into their spheres, grumbling, "Oh poo."
Quicksilver shoved and the ground shuddered
And into three spheres eight morons were cluttered.
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And then with a thump I heard on the roof,
"Pyro fell out." "That goddam poof."
I ran for the staircase and was into the foyer
When through the fireplace he came with an "Oi mate!"
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He was dressed all in orange from his helmet to his feet
And his clothes were full of holes and burns
A flamethrower he had strapped to his back
And he looked maniacal, just flicking his lighter
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His eyes how they twinkled! His fire so merry!
His fire was fire! His fire like a fire!
His crazy ass mouth pulled up like a joker
And the beard on his chin.. What beard?
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His hair was half gone, three front teeth missing
and without one boot his stance was listing
He had a narrow face and maniacal eyes
That glared as he cackled, where's this guy's straightjacket?
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He belonged in a nuthouse, this nutball Acolyte
And I growled when I saw him, in spite of myself
A wink of his eye and a flick of his lighter
Soon gave me to know this was gonna end bad
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He blew nothing up but went straight to work
He raced through the house and stopped with a jerk
Whirled around, faced me and shrieked in terror,
"Where the bloody hell is the exit on 'is place?"
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He sprang out the window, to his team gave a shout,
"I want out! I want out! I want out!"
And I heard them explain as they limped out of sight,
"We got our asses kicked numb-nuts." "But where was the fight?"
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Thanks for reading and Happy Thomas Jefferson Day! (it's a holiday! Look it up!)