Drabble from SOTU ficathon.
Prompt: Danny and Mindy's kid asks (whoever you want) "where do babies come from?"
Cassie laid her book down on the table and turned to her mother.
"Mommy, where do babies come from?"
Danny choked on his coffee, rushing to grab a dishtowel and mop up the mess as Mindy smiled down at her daughter.
"Well, Cassie, when two people get really excited but the condoms are expired – "
"Mindy!" Danny sputtered and threw a hand over his wife's mouth. "What are you doing? Hey – ow!' He complained, waving his hand around. "You bit me!"
"Yeah, well, you cannot silence the voice of knowledge. I'm just trying to teach our daughter about safe sex!"
Cassie looked up at her parents with big doe eyes. "What's safe sex?"
"Oh, now you've done it," Danny groaned, gesturing toward their child. He bent over so that he was eye level with his daughter. "Cassie, honey, where are all these questions coming from?"
Cassie shrugged. "Well, Mommy was watching 16 and Pregnant when I got home from school and I was wondering why the girls were so much younger than you and Mommy." She looked pointedly at Mindy's swollen womb.
Danny shot a look at Mindy before turning back to Cassie. "Don't pay any attention to what those girls on the TV say, alright, baby? Mommy and Daddy took their time, because we want your little sister to have a secure, loving home when she arrives. Do you understand?" Danny held Cassie's shoulders. "Secure. Loving. Home!" He shook her with each word as if he could drill them into her.
"Danny, stop, you're scarring her!" Mindy pulled her husband off their child, brushing a bit of dark hair out of Cassie's face. "Honey, I'm glad you are asking all these questions. Maybe when you're a little bit older, we can talk more about where babies come from. Does that sound good?" Mindy looked back and forth between Cassie and Danny.
Cassie nodded. "Yes, Mommy."
"That's my girl. Now go on and wash up for dinner – I put your new Hello Kitty soap in the bathroom, the one with sparkles," Mindy smiled, standing up as Cassie ran off. She turned to Danny. "See? You can start breathing again. We held off The Conversation for a couple more years."
Danny frowned. "A couple? Try at least twenty." Mindy smacked him on the arm. "At least we didn't have to explain condoms."
"What are condoms?" Cassie was back from the bathroom, drying her hands on her pants.
"No-nothing," Danny stammered, pulling out a chair for his daughter. "Come on, let's sit down and eat."
"Whatever, I'll just look it up on your iPhone the next time you ask me for help with it," Cassie shrugged, jumping into her seat. Mindy grinned and began to eat as Danny froze in fear, making a mental note to cancel his phone line after dinner.