A/N: Well, it's another one. This time it's a DeiSaku, too. The title is from the poem, but the fic wasn't inspired by it; I had a hell of a time trying to think of a name and found this site that listed a buttload of sayings and that sort of thing. And don't ask me about the timeline. It's somewhere after the beginning and somewhere before the end. Come up with your own timeline. And the sentences are not in chronological order. Okay!
This fic is formally dedicated (with music and carpet and punch and everything) to the talented Fallacy, at the forefront of DeiSaku-ness, and because she made me do this. Oh, and she was the beta, too.
Title: A Temporary Madness
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Deidara x Sakura
Theme set: Delta
Rating: T
Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement[and it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
-Excerpt from Captain Corelli's Mandolin
#01 – Air
Sometimes Sakura had had enough; sure, Tobi was fun and rather interesting to try to comprehend, Zetsu could have a conversation about anything and often helped her medical research along with tips about how to use plants in healing processes, Hidan and Kakuzu could take the stress out of any person's day by simply observing them talking to one another, Kisame gave her cooking tips underneath the table—Sakura didn't want to prod the issue further, Itachi was…well, Itachi, but sometimes Sakura wished she could have more than just a breath of air from time to time; sometimes she needed more, because it seemed Deidara was out to make her life miserable for some bizarre reason, and even Zetsu frequently commented on his unusual behavior; it had started some time after Sakura had been with them and met the other members of the Akatsuki.
#02 – Apples
On one of her clandestine snooping trips through the back rooms of the Akatsuki base, Sakura entered a large room only to find it empty with a single green door at the other end; of course, she couldn't pass up trying to open it, and was surprised that not only was it unlocked and unsealed, it led to a small alcove with a single tree growing in the middle of it, sunlight hitting just so in a way that every leaf was outlined with gold and white, the tiny veins beautifully exposed to the human eye; the boughs were full of apples, too, Sakura noted, the branches almost touched the ground with the weight; so—fashioning her shirt into a makeshift basket—she gathered as many apples she could carry, bustled herself into the kitchen where she promptly made the best apple pie anyone had ever tasted; later, tired of hearing Deidara subtly hint—he thought—about her making another pie, she went back to the room only to find the door had vanished.
#03 – Beginning
Staring down at the beginning of something soft and blue forming between two cleverly clicking knitting needles, Deidara inquired as to what she was making; Sakura smiled, resting the needles on her enormous stomach, and answered, "It's a blanket for Daichi when he comes," pausing for a few seconds while gazing fondly at the bump under her diligent hands; Deidara allowed himself a few seconds as well to peer at his wife's enlarged figure—as if he didn't do it constantly—before huffing arrogantly and walking briskly away, calling back over his shoulder, "I still think he should've been named Heinrich, yeah," leaving Sakura rolling her eyes and muttering about crazy artists' fetishes for weird names before returning to the developing blanket; Daichi kicked her ribs in agreement.
#04 – Bugs
Sakura was seriously considering finding a way out of the Akatsuki base and back to Konoha to be rid of these dreadfully confusing feelings until she saw the bugs; she was on her daily round trip to the back bathroom for a good cry when she saw them climbing out of cracks in the wall, swimming up from the pipes under the toilet to float around in the stagnant water, and creeping up from the bathtub drain to scamper up the sides and out under the door; when she had collected her wits, she decided that having a woman around the base was definitely something that needed to happen; they couldn't cook shit, were clueless with laundry, and—and—they let bugs crawl around everywhere; she'd grab Kakuzu for a quick trip to the nearest grocery store for some heavy duty bug spray, some soap, and a mop, then whip that hellhole into place for those poor, clueless men—and herself—to be able to properly dwell in; Deidara and the funny things she felt when near him could be dealt with in due time.
#05 – Coffee
It was Deidara who first introduced her to coffee; it was vital, he said, to any ninja in any situation on a mission or otherwise, to have the dark, bitter powder at hand for a short burst of energy; resisting the urge to let the know-it-all, educated medic-nin inside her take control and explain to him exactly what she thought of that theory, she sat and listened to him, apparently enraptured; she knew he was just looking for an excuse to talk to her.
#06 – Dark
Sakura always hated the dark; it was silent and biding and an unwelcome presence surrounding her as she attempted to sleep on her makeshift bed of six chairs tied together, a lumpy cushion as a pillow, and Hidan's Akatsuki cloak for a sheet until they found her a bed—or rather, a bed that Kakuzu thought was reasonably priced—but she knew that even with a change of rooms and furniture the darkness would remain; it forced her back in Konoha, to relive the bodies of friends and comrades alike scattered all over the road, all over the village; the times she did go to sleep she dreamt about it and must've cried out once or twice because when she woke up at sunrise one morning, Deidara was sprawled out on the floor beside the chairs clutching an empty glass which was once filled with water she didn't remember drinking.
#07 – Despair
Sakura thought she knew the meaning of fear: being attacked by rogue ninja on her first mission out of Konoha, trying to evade the Sound and Sand ninja in the battle after the exams, watching Sasuke leave, hoping he would come back but somehow knowing he never would, standing up to Tsunade when asking her to take her on as an apprentice, thinking about Naruto when he was away with Jiraya the Frog Hermit, hating that she had no idea if he was alive or not, and fighting Sasori in the cave with Grandma Chiyo's help, but now she knew a whole different kind of fear, the kind of despair she dreaded ever facing; in an effort to gain her appeal—that was what Sakura had gathered in the situation in the seconds before she was avidly hunting him down—Deidara had done her laundry, and mixed the darks with the lights, even going so far as to use the wrong kind of detergent for the ramshackle bundle of now-deformed and ruined clothing articles, leaving her with nothing to wear but a dripping towel after her shower; rethinking the situation later (and still wearing the towel), she wondered if he had actually planned it all along.
#08 – Doors
There were many doors in the Akatsuki base, most of which Sakura had never bothered to explore or were just locked; her favorite door was solid oak, faded and smooth with age, dutifully muffling the sounds of small explosions—and, often, cursing—from within: Deidara's room; Sakura made it a point to sneak inside whenever Deidara was away on Akatsuki business and look at the few clay models he kept intact (at Tobi's insistence, because he should keep at least one to look at once in a while), because for some reason he always made a big deal about it whenever she—or anyone, for that matter—tried to go in even when he was there; she understood why when she saw the little figurine of her holding the injured foal she found in the woods weeks ago.
#09 – Drink
When Daichi began to walk was when Sakura had to pull together all her skills of motherhood and babies from her D-rank mission days of babysitting some bitch's kids; he was into and explored absolutely everything: kitchen utensil drawers, weapons cases, Samehada—much to Kisame's dismay, the laundry room, Zetsu's stockpile of topsoil in the greenhouse, Deidara's exploding clay—much to everyone's dismay, especially the new building contractor when he arrived, old mission reports, Hidan's rosary—much to Jashin's dismay, and more every day; Deidara even caught Daichi trying to take a drink from the toilet once and barely helped him escape a very messy fate, for which Sakura was very grateful.
#10 – Duty
Sakura thought it was so adorable when she would rush to the sounds of a hungry Daichi only to find that Deidara had gotten there faster and was hefting the little guy into his arms to comfort him—steadfastly ignoring the sniggering coming from his male companions a ways away—wiping off his tears—a gagging noise from Hidan was heard here—and murmuring softly to tell him what was wrong, putting his nose to Daichi's and smiling in a way that Sakura just couldn't help but huff softly at, regretting it when it Deidara looked up and saw her; he would then haul Daichi over to Sakura and shove him over with slightly pink cheeks, muttering, "It's your duty to provide the breastfeeding," to which Sakura would reply coyly, "But I was so enjoying watching your duty to fatherhood."