BURN IN FIRE
Author: Surprise, surprise, this is not a songfic! Again the pairing is SiriusxJames, only a bit onesided LilyxJames.
Don't own the characters.
It was a nice afternoon and Gryfindor quidditch team was trainning furiously. One more win and they would have the cup, so every single member of the team was doing his best. James, flying high chasing after the pome, was all dirty by now, not that he cared.
He glanced to banches where several gryfindor students had been watching them training, also wanting that victory. He looked around seeking for two heads. It was full moon therefore Remus wouldn't be there, and it was not difficult to find Peter watching him like he was a god, but Sirius was not there. Apart from Remus, everyone of their year should be there, even Lily Evans was there! But Sirius was not there. Where would he be?
Then, James found the pome. He rushed to the golden shine direction and tried to focus, in a few seconds the little ball was in his hands and the watching students screamed with joy and aplauded. James smilled arrogantly as he flew around the camp, blinked an eye to Evans and turned to face victorious a confident and aproving Sirius. Except that Sirius was not there.
Imediatly he leaded his broom to where Peter was and ignoring the cumpliments asked:
-Where is Sirius?
-I don't know, I haven't seen him since lunch. Maybe--
James didn't stay to hear whatever Peter had to say, he put the pome in his pocket and left the camp in his broom. He flew directly to the boy's dormitory, entering through the window, Sirius was laying there reading a book. Prongs landed and stopped by his best friend's bed waiting for him to acknowledge his presence, which didn't take long. Without leaving his book the dog animagi asked:
-Shouldn't you be at training?
-Yeah, I was. But guess who wasn't there.
-Remus obviously couldn't be there and you know it.
-And why weren't you?
-Was Evans there?
-Yes.
-Then I couldn't be there, she doesn't like me.
-You never cared for this before.
-But now is different.
-How?
-Now Evans is softening about you, it means you have a real chance, but if I stay around you too much she will be displeased
and may not go out with you. - then Sirious closed the book and put it inside a bag - Today I'll go earlier to Remus, he might want to know about the homework, tests are coming.
James watched Sirius filling his bag with books and papers.
-You're upset. - James stated.
-Why would I be upset?
-That's something I would like to know so I can help you.
-It happens that I'm not upset and you should be at the quidditch field not being arrogant to please Evans. - then Sirius simply left the dorm through the door.
James with a confused expression soon was filled with anger, Sirius was trying to avoid him and he had no clue of the reason for that. What the hell was happening? Sirius never was the kind that liked to share his problems but never tried to hide from him if there was a problem. Oh, James wouldn't let the business drop like that. He jumped to his broom again and in no time he was flying through Hogwarts Sky, heading to the tree that hid the entrance to Remus hiding place.
By the time Sirius got there, James was already waiting for him.
-I'll visit Remus too, after all, at Charms you were sleeping so I can explain better. - James said to his friend's surprised face.
-Whatever. - Sirius decided to answer, checking if there was no one around and using his wand to calm down the tree.
The two boys got in and found Remus laying on the bed, seeming to be very ill. The pale boy looked surprised to see his friends a lot earlier than he was expecting.
-We came to see you mate. - said James putting his broom in some corner and sitting at the only chair that wasn't broken.
-I thought you'd like to do some homework, once next week we'll have tests. - Sirius said throwing his bag with books to Remus.
-Wow... thank you. - the werewolf looked to his friends a little confused - But, since when the two of you are so willing to help me with HOMEWORK? I sure apreciate this but... it's definately something new.
There was no response, James took Charms book and started to explain Remus about the class of that day. Sirious sat at some corner, playing with his wand.
-So... - Remus said after a fifteen minutes explanation - You were awoke during a class, without me to wake you up?
-Yep.
-Did you took some medicine?
-Of course not!
-OK... - Remus watched him suspicious then smiled insinuating - Evans was sitting by your side, wasn't it?
-Well... - James smiled a little guilt and a little arrogant
-She is really doing something to you, huh? - Remus said laughing of James' face, then he turned to Sirius - And what about you?
-What do you mean?
-What happened for you to be so quiet?
-Nothing, I slept during Charms so I can't teach you this subject.
-Right. - Remus stared cetic to his friend - And why weren't you sitting by James' side?
-I couldn't leave Peter alone, could I?
Remus cetic stare just got bigger and Sirius shouldered to him, coming back to play with his wand. But James understood.
-So that's the reason?! - he shouted to Sirius - You're upset because I sat with Evans?!
Sirius ignored him.
-This is ridiculous! You're the one who said I should sit with her! - again no answer, which just angered James more – Will you really continue with this bullshit of avoiding me so Evans won't reject me?! It's the most stupid thing you could ever do! Who were friend of greasy Severus can certainly live with the fact that you're my best friend!
Again, Sirius ignored him. Padfoot stood and turned to live, again angering James more.
James held his arm and was quickly pushed back, falling on the ground.
-I DON'T UNDERSTAND! What have I done?!
-YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING! - Sirius shouted, finnaly showing some reaction, panting with anger - If the person I love was finnaly beggining to love me back I would give atention too! But, not like you, I wouldn't be mad if my friend tried to help me!
-HELP?! What kind of help is this?!
-THE ONLY HELP I CAN GIVE UNLESS YOU WANT ME GET REALLY HURT! - then Sirius calmed his voice, panting untill he moved on – I would be between you and any wand that wants to hurt you, you know this, but there are ways of dieing that even I cannot bare. I... I rather die in cold than burning in fire, James.
-What... - James asked confused, finding nothing to say back as he watched Sirius leaving.
Remus had been in total silence, as always, watching and analysing what happened. At first he was just as lost as James by Sirius actions, but those last words and the glow at his eyes left no doubt to Remus.
-Did you understand anything? - James turned to Remus for a response, as always - Is Sirius in love?
-Well, I guess his words made it clear that he is.
-With who? Why haven't me told this? What did he tell you? - asked James, upset that Sirius hadn't trust him.
-Will you come down, please? - Remus asked forcing James to sit at the chair, watching him for a moment before he could start to answer - He haven't told me anything, I know as much as you do.
-But who do you think it is? You're always right about your guesses.
-I'm not sure. Is someone who, he believes, will never love him back...
-Severus Snape? - suggested James, joking but showing some preocupation - Anyway, what does it have to do with Evans?
-Prongs, let's think of his words. What do you think he meant by burning in fire?
-How could I know, you're the good student here.
Remus watched James standing up and walking in circles through the dirty and almost all broken room. He sighed, it would be difficult, but he would make his friend understand.
-Look, if Evans had a boyfriend, what would you do?
-I would curse the bastard.
-But this would make Evans sad.
-Then I... I wouldn't do anything, I'm not a saint but I'm not that bad either, stealing girlfriends... I would try to be her friend instead, at least I'd be near her.
At this something clicked inside Remus mind. James and Sirius were the best friends in the world and did almost everything together, but that didn't mean they had the same taste, opinion and 'modus operandi'. "James would choose to burn in fire... or maybe... it's possible, yes, even logical."
-OK. Now what if Sirious had a girlfriend?
-Sirius? Girlfriend? Impossible.
-Why?
-He is not the relationship kind of guy. You know that. He flirts, he kisses, but dating seriously never.
-Maybe it's because he haven't found the right person. Or, as we can suppose by his words, the person he loves wouldn't go on a date with him.
-This is even more ridiculous. Who wouldn't go on a date with Sirius? He is the most handsome and popular guy of school.
Remus sighed, tring to surpress a laugh.
-OK, but let's supose that he had a girlfriend.
-Right, what about it?
-Imagine Sirius with a girlfriend.
James then pictured in his mind Sirius holding some girl, walking hand in hand with this girl, kissing this girl... and suddenly he found that he could not picture anything more. First because it seems fake, wrong, something that should not happen. And second because a monster appeared inside him, a monster who wanted to kill that girl.
More confused than before, James waved his head and asked:
-Why this, anyway?
-How can one of the smartest students of Hogwarts be so blind about this?! - Remus asked impatient - James, if the person you love, loved another person would you prefer stay away feeling lonely and cold or be near and be burned by jelous and platonic feeling?
-I would prefer whatever made the person I love happy! - James answered impatient, then was his turn to sigh - I don't think we're getting to discover anything. I'll be back at night, Moony.
Remus only sighed as he watched James leaving with his broom.
James flew to his dorm again. His head was full of questions and images of that girl being kicked by the monster. But it really didn't bother as much as his chest, his heart was racing with feelings he couldn't understand, all he knew was that he wanted to find Sirius. He wasn't sure of what he would do or say, but he wanted, he NEEDED, to find his best friend.
When he got in and left his broom he was dissapointed to find it empty, but he couldn't expect it would be easy to find his smart friend twice in the day that easyly, could he? Deciding he would get nowhere all dirty and nervous, James went to take a good shower and ponder over what he should do.
Half hour later, James went to the commoning room, where he found Peter trying to do some homework.
-Hey! I found Sirius! - Peter exclaimed when James sat by his side.
-Really? Where?
-He was at the Great Hall, some Ravenclaw girls were around him.
There. Peter's words were all that needed for the monster to rise inside him again. Peter was left talking alone as in a second James stood and rushed out of the room to the hall.
It didn't take long for him to arrive at the Great Hall. Sirius really was surround by Ravenclaw girls, flirting, which only made the monster grow.
-Sirius Black! - James called angry, 'causing the girls to leave imediatly.
But James had barely arrived near his friend when someone called him.
-Hey, Potter. - came Evans soft voice.
-Huh, hi, Evans... - he answered, but regreted it imediatly. James turned to Sirius, who gave him a sad smile and left.
That moment something cracked inside James. The image of Sirius leaving was repeting itself on his mind, and a sudden fear that the boy might never come back possessed him. Then realization downed upon him. James had seen Evans leave him thousands of time and was sad of course, but at every of those times Sirius would be right behind him, waiting ready to do anything that James wanted to feel better. And James wouldn't feel better for the things he decided to do, but by Sirius presence himself. And now that he was seeing Sirius go and was Evans expecting glance that was behind him, he understood who was the most important person to him. And it felt horrible that Sirius never left him alone but he had done it to his best friend.
-Potter! - Lily Evans called again - Are you all right?
-No... I'm dieing with cold...
-Well, at least you're not burning. - she said, not sure she had understood what he had said.
-But I want to. I want to burn in fire. Another kind of fire then the one I made Sirius be burned for.
-What are you talking about?
-Evans, if you ever come around me I have a monster who will kill you! - he shouted before running after Sirius and leaving a very confsed girl behind.
While he ran he thought everything Sirius had to be through, and because of him! Of him! Who would gladly give his life to save the boy. He could only hope Sirius would forgive him. Looking at the map he found the boy entering the empty music room. It was an unusual choice for Sirius, but at least is a good place to talk, no one used that room. "Maybe he used to go there when I was around Evans...", James thought guiltly.
Soon, he stopped before the music room and took a breath before coming in. He saw Sirius lifting his head and sighing.
-James, will we have to go through all that again?
-No, I understand.
-D-do you?
-I mean, I understand everything that hapenned. - then he aproached Sirius, who was standing in the middle of the room – What I can't understand is why would you prefer the cold when you could have fire, or at least a different kind of fire I made you experience so far.
-What do you...
-Forgive me, I've been blind all these years... Could you--
Sirius gave no time for James to finish his sentence. Simply rushed to him and pulled him to passionate kiss. At first James was startled, but when he felt Sirius tongue asking for entrance, he surrounded his neck and kissed back with the same passion. They remained like that for some minutes untill they needed oxygen.
They parted the kiss but didn't leave the proximity.
-Forgive me? - James asked in a whisper.
-There's no reason for asking me this. But... are you sure? And Evans?
-I AM sure. My monster will kill Evans.
-What? - asked Sirius confused.
-Just never leave me, OK? I don't like to capture the pome and not see you there.
-Rsrs, all right. Next game I'll be there to see you catching the pome. - Sirius laughed a little and rolling his eyes.
-Oh, no, I can't wait untill game - James said playfully, releasing Sirius and taking something in his pocket.
-Come on, I thought you had stopped doing this. - Sirius laughed more when he saw James releasing the pome in the room and jumping to catch it again - Very good!
Sirius smilled very happy as he watched James catching the pome all the time.
-You know, I've already seen catching the pome thousand of times by now, can you stop right now? This is not very romantic from you Prongs.
-I'll be romantic later. I spent a whole day without being watched by you and need to recharge my bateries. - James answered playfully.
-All right then, if you want so, you'll have it - Sirius took his wand and - Accio pomo!
-Hey! - James shouted as he saw Sirius collecting the golden ball and hiding in his vest.
-I think I could be a good seeker, don't you? - Sirius said sarcasticly.
-Maybe... but I still am the best player here. And, as good seeker, I chase after the pome in any conditions and at any place I can reach.
-What do you mean? - Sirius asked watching James' smirk, then he understood and smirked too - Let's see if you can reach it then.
James jumped. Sirius fell and rolled on the top of him. No need to say the pome was imediatly forgotten.
They never felt cold again.
THE ENDWell, I wrote all in once, I hope it's good.