V-Anime meets IRON CHEF
Rated R
Note: This is in script format. All characters are owed by their own
respected owners (FujiTV, FOOD NetWork, South Park, etc). This fic started off as when I first watched "Iron Chef".
Don't flame me, even though some parts in this fic are offensive.
The Cast
-V-ANIME MEMBERS-
Vanessa
Angela
Eric
Jenny
Nick
Diane
Nathan
Dora
Adia
Mr. Popo/Oliver
-THE IRON CHEFS-
Iron Chef French-Sakai Hiroyuki
Iron Chef Chinese-Chen Kenichi
Iron Chef Japanese-Morimoto Masaharu
Iron Chef Italian-Kobe Masahiko
-OTHER-
Chairman Kaga Takeshi
Representitives of Fuji TV
Sean Conery
Fukui Kenji
Ota Shinichiro
The Couch
Big Gay Al
Nat
Iron Chef Spanish-Alfredo Perez
***
THE V-ANIME ROOM 101
Nat: Our story begins at another typical day at the V-Anime.
**Eric, Jenny, Vanessa, and Angela are hanging around the room. All of them
are sitting on the chairs.**
Vanessa: *drawing something* You know, I think I'm getting a knack at this
drawing this stickman body.
Angela: Well your first drawing was pretty good.
Jenny: *looks at Vanessa* It's so cool.
Vanessa: Yeah. *continues drawing* I suck at drawing anime men.
Angela: You're doing progress.
Eric: Hell, I can't draw like that.
Jenny: Keep up the good work.
Nat: As Vanessa draws, she notices something terrible wrong. She draws a
head of a guy...but a body of a Sailor suit.
Vanessa: *looks at her drawing as she continues it* Someone is going to hurt
me for this.
Angela: What to you mean?
Vanessa: Ever since D-chan started talking about "Iron Chef" and the host
that wears so many outragous costumes...
Eric: That show kicks ass.
Jenny: Go on.
Vanessa: Well...
Nat: All of a sudden, Vanessa reveals her picture to the others.
Eric/Angela/Jenny: *stare at the pic* O.O;;;
Jenny: Is that...Chairman Kaga?
Angela: Well, I never knew he looks damn fine in a sailor suit!
Eric: AH!!! *cowers* Iron Chef is ruinned for me!!!!
Angela: Vanessa, you have a sick twisted sense of humor.
Vanessa: I know. *looks at the pic* I'm gonna get my ass kicked for this.
Eric: I bet you $5.00 to go post it on the net.
**silence**
Vanessa: Are you sure? Someone could get offended by this.
Jenny: Well they have Bill Gates in a sailor suit.
Eric: Come on Vanessa, don't be a chicken.
Vanessa: HEY!!
Eric: Put the damn pic up. It's just a silly picture.
Angela: Yeah. It's like no one will be offended by a cartoon drawing.
Vanessa: If you insist...I'll go put the pic up.
Jenny/Eric: Yay!
Nat: And so Vanessa went and posted up her humorous drawing. It's not like
anyone will get offended by it? Right???
LATE AT NIGHT
Net Surfer: *on Project ACUO* Hey, what's this? *looks at the pic* This pic
is funny!! I have to send it to my friends!
Nat: And so the trouble begins. A simple net user sends the pic to his
friends and then his friends send that pic to their friends as well. It's
a continuing endless cycle that'll never stop. It seems harmless, but...
LATER THAT NIGHT
A Representitive of Fuji TV: *looking at his email* Junk mail. I swear. Is
Hotmail good at anything?
Nat: He then notices a certain pic.
A Representitive of Fuji TV: *sees the picture* WHAT THE?!!!! *snickers*
That is something you definately don't see...but Mr. Takeshi won't like
this. Oh well.
Nat: He then faxes the pic to Mr. Takeshi...and all hell breaks loose.
THE VERY NEXT DAY AT THE V-ANIME ROOM 101
**Diane, Nathan, and Vanessa are in the room. Vanessa is sitting on the
couch while Diane and Nathan are sitting on the chairs.**
Vanessa: *sighs* I'm so screwed.
Diane: What do you mean Vanessa?
Vanessa: *looks down* I drew Mr. Takeshi in a Sailor suit.
Diane: *snickers* You mean you're the one....
Vanessa: Yep.
Nathan: You have a sick sense of humor, Vanessa.
Vanessa: *looks up at Nathan* I do.
**the door opens and Nick enters*
Nick: Yo.
Diane/Nathan/Vanessa: .....
Nick: *sits down on the couch* Hey, you're drawing Iron Chef guy again?
Vanessa: ...?
Nick: Why don't you draw him as a gundam? Gundams are cool.
Diane/Nathan/Vanessa: .....
Nick: What? I think he'll look cool as a gundam, even with the headpiece.
Vanessa: *whispers to Diane* Why have you let him be a member of a club?
Nick: Even that crazy Japanese Iron Chef will look good as a gundam.
Diane: HEY!!! No poking fun at Morimoto!!!!
Vanessa: *mutters* Shoot him now please.
**Then two Representitives of Fuji TV appear at the doorway and enter the room**
Representitive of Fuji TV 1: *reading a piece of paper* H-hello, we are
looking for Vanessa.
Vanessa: *gets up* That'll be me.
Representitive of Fuji TV 2: Good. Come with us. It's about a drawing you
did.
Vanessa: Heh. Can't you take a joke?
**The Representitives of Fuji TV grab Vanessa and leave**
Diane: Wonder what that was for.
Nick: If she drew him as a gundam, she wouldn't have that trouble.
Diane: *glare at Nick* ENOUGH WITH THE STUPID GUNDAMS!!!
Nick: Geez, sorry.
Nathan: Why do we even have him here?
Diane: I don't know. I just don't know.
KITCHEN STADIUM
**the Representitives of Fuji TV drag Vanessa here**
Vanessa: Whoa..is this?
**the Representitives of Fuji TV then leave**
Vanessa: *turns around* Hey!!! What is going on? You can't leave me here!!!
I'm a cartoonist...not a CHEF!!!!!
???: So you're the one who drew this?
Vanessa: *sweatdrop* Uh yes, that'll be me.
???: *sighs* And I thought someone like you who is gifted with this art is also a good cook. Oh well...
Vanessa: Nani?!!
Nat: And so the mysterious voice over stranger reveals himself. He is no other than..*blinds his eyes* GOD DAMN!!! THAT JACKET IS TOO DAMN FLASHY!!!
**Chairman Kaga appears in one of his flamboyant suits**
Vanessa: Holy crap!!! It's you!!!
Nat: *screams* MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
Chairman Kaga: If my memory serves me correctly, you drew this picture for your own amusement.
Vanessa: *shields eyes* Uh yeah. Man, do you even slim down on your fashion?
Chairman Kaga: I find this pic quite "amusing".
Vanessa: Well glad you did. *starts to walk away* I'll be going home and we will never speak of this again.
Chairman Kaga: *smirks* Be Resurrected Iron Chefs!!!!!
**The Iron Chefs appear, standing in their podium**
Vanessa: *sweatdrops* Uh oh.
Chairman Kaga: I said I found your picture "amusing", not funny. Iron Chefs! Get me that pesky cartoonist!!!! Tie her up!
Iron Chefs: Hai!
Vanessa: Look, I love to stay and get an autograph but...*starts to run* GOTTA GO!!!!
**Vanessa makes a run for it, but the Iron Chefs managed to corner her down and tie her to a chair. Chairman Kaga does a very evil laugh.**
LATER THAT DAY AT THE V-ANIME ROOM 101
Nathan: Did anyone know where those guys taken Vanessa?
Diane: Who knows?
Nick: *mutters* At least that bitch is gone.
Diane: Hm?
**Angela, Eric, Jenny, and Mr. Popo arrive**
Eric: I can't believe Vanessa actually did it for $5.00
Angela: What people will do for money.
Eric: Yeah. But it's $5.00 Canadian! It's not even worth a dollar US.
Mr. Popo: That's our Vanessa.
Jenny: I wonder if she'll show me her new drawings of Chairman Kaga. I really liked him in a sailor suit.
**Dora enters**
Dora: Have any of you seen Vanessa? I have her Card Captor Sakura tapes.
Everyone Else: Nope.
Diane: Leave them here. She's going to bitch and complain if she doesn't get them.
Nick: Like she always bitches.
Everyone Else: *stare at Nick*
Nick: What?
**Adia enters, standing at the doors**
Adia: Hey guys, the N Building computer lab has finally has satillite. You guys can watch actual TV.
Mr. Popo: Hey, what time is it?
Jenny: *looks at her watch* Around 10.
Angela: Hey, doesn't "Iron Chef" play around 10am and then repeat itself at 1am in the morning?
**The group then jumps out of their seats and head towards the N-Building*
THE N BUILDING
**the gang is watching Iron Chef on one of the TVs**
Nick: Should we be watching Gundam? I find it to be better than this.
Diane: Shh! No talking while watching Iron Chef!!
Eric: Iron Chef is the man.
Diane: Quiet you!
TV: **shows Chairman Kaga talking to the challanger but there is also someone right next to him**
Vanessa: *on TV, looking at the camera as she is tied to a chair* Someone!!! Help me!!!
Diane: OH MY GOD!!!! Vanessa is the "themed" ingrediant?!!!
Nick: Yay.
Everyone Else: *glare at Nick*
Nick: What?!
Angela: Well, I never knew Iron Chef does Hannibal Lector.
Adia: I don't think she's the theme ingrediant...it looks like she's the prize.
Nick: Boo.
Everyone Else: *glare at Nick again*
Nick: What?!
Mr. Popo: How do you know all these things?
Adia: Simple. Mr. Takeshi said so.
Mr. Popo: Oh. That makes a lot of sense. I think.
Jenny: They can't do that!! That's our Vanessa!
Dora: Who would want to win our Vanessa?
Nathan: Well Vanessa has no actual boyfriend and she never had sex. You should see how Oriental guys go crazy for forgien Pure Virgins.
Diane: THAT'S NO FAIR!!!! SHE'LL END UP IN BED WITH MORIMOTO THAN I WILL!!!
Nathan: *looks at Diane* Hey!!!
Adia: Aren't you supposed to be worried about VANESSA?!!!
Diane: Oh yeah, and that too. *sighs*
Jenny: What are we going to do?!!! Popo! Do something!!
Mr. Popo: Like what? I'm just like the rest of you!
**a mysterious figure appears**
???: My niece is in danger, is she?
Nathan: *looks at the stranger* Niece? You're related to Vanessa?
???: I am her father's brother. *looks at the TV* Come with me, we'll get there before another challanger decides to take her.
Everyone Else: *look at him* Kay.
**The group exits the room with the stanger**
BEFORE A SHOW BEGINS
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* This is horror...
**Chairman Kaga is looking at his closet**
Vanessa: True horror...
**Chairman Kaga picks up two of his bizzare outfits**
Chairman Kaga: *looks at Vanessa* Which one is better? This one or this one?
Vanessa: *whines* SOMEONE SHOOT ME NOW PLEASE!!!!!!!!
ENTRANCE TO THE KITCHEN STADIUM
Fukui: Five years ago, a man's fantasy became reality in a forum never seen before -
Nick: HE WANTED GUNDAM!!!!!!!! GUNDAM!!!!
Jenny: Enough with the Gundam!!! Ugh!
Fukui: a giant cooking arena. The Kitchen Stadium. The motivation for spending his fortune to create Kitchen Stadium was to encounter new original cuisines which could be called true artistic creations.
Dora/Adia: Whoa...
Eric: If I was God, this will be my kitchen.
Diane: Man, how did we get here so fast?
Nathan: Author's too lazy?
Fukui: To realize his dream, he first secretly started selecting the top chefs of various styles of cooking. And he named his men the Iron Chefs - the invincible men of culinary skill.
Adia: Culinary skills? Does anyone know how to cook?
Jenny: I suck in cooking.
Fukui: Iron Chef Japanese is Masaharu Morimoto. Iron Chef French is Hiroyuki Sakai. Iron Chef Chinese is Chen Kenichi. And Masahiko Kobe is Iron Chef Italian.
Diana: *cries* I LOVE YOU!!!
Nathan: *sigh* Good grief.
Fukui: The Kitchen Stadium is the arena where Iron Chefs await the challenges of Master Chefs from around the world. Both the Iron Chef and challenger have one hour to tackle the theme ingredient of the day. Using all their senses, skills, creativity, they're to prepare artistic dishes never tasted before. And if ever a challenger wins over the Iron Chef, he or she will gain the people's ovation and fame will meet the Master Chefs from around the world and their artistic creations. What inspiration will today's challenger bring, and how will the Iron Chef fight back? The heat will be on!
**the doors open**
???: Come on! We have to accept the challange or we will never see our Vanessa again.
Mr. Popo: That's bad.
Jenny: I don't want to miss Vanessa forever.
Dora: I have to give her tapes back. I can't keep them for myself.
Eric: We'll get to meet the Iron Chefs!
Angela: And even if we suck, we'll still be famous for being the first Anime Club against the Iron Chefs.
Diane: As president of this club; I accept the challange. All in favor say "I".
Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: I!!!!!
Diane: All oppose?
Nick: Nay.
Diane: It's official...we're going in!!!
Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: YAY!!!!!
Nick: *sigh*
???: *enters the Kitchen Stadium*
**the gang follows as they enter the stadium too**
KITCHEN STADIUM
**Vanessa and Chairman Kaga await for the group while the commentators are at their stand**
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* GUYS!!!!
Diane/Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: VANESSA!!!
Nick: *groan* Can we go now? There's no Gundam.
Diane/Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: .......
Jenny: *looks at Diane* Why do we have him in the club for?
Nathan: Diane doesn't know either.
COMMENTATOR STAND
Fukui: Well that's our challanger...a group of college students?
Ota: That's correct. This group is friends with who drew this pic. *shows the picture*
Vanessa's Voice: It wasn't THAT BAD!!!
Fukui: Well, let's see what our bizzare challangers have for us today.
KITCHEN STADIUM
???: *glaring at Chairman Kaga* Let go of her right now!!!
Chairman Kaga: *looks at the stranger* I think not. I like having her as a personal fashion consultant.
Vanessa: *still tied to a chair* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Chairman Kaga: I think I've met you before.
???: You have.
Chairman Kaga: *smirks* Reveal yourself...IRON CHEF!!!
???: *he takes off his robe*
Mr. Popo: Holy crap! He's an Iron Chef too!!!
Angela: That's why we found this place so quickly.
**the stranger wears an iron chef suit, except it's in orange and he's holding a yellow pepper**
Chairman Kaga: Iron Chef Spanish. I knew you'll show up.
Vanessa: *smiles as looks at the chef* Uncle Alfi!!!!!
Everyone Else: *look at Vanessa* WHAT?!!!!!
Nick: Yay! I'm not being the one that's being gocked at!!
Adia: Vanessa is related to an IRON CHEF?
Iron Chef Spanish: *glare at Chairman Kaga* You dare bring my family in this? Therefore...I, Iron Chef Spanish, shall challange ALL your Iron Chefs in a one hour cook-off.
Diane/Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: *sweatdrops*
Chairman Kaga: *backs aways, scared* "All" Iron Chefs?
Vanessa: *looks at Iron Chef Spainish* Uncle!!! Are you CRAZY?!!!!
COMMENTATOR STAND
Ota: In a strange turn of events, Iron Chef Spanish has appeared with the V-Anime Gang in a fiesty cook off with all the Iron Chefs.
Fukui: Either that is one strong Iron Chef or one clearly stupid one.
Ota: Only our judges may decide.
KITCHEN STADIUM
Chairman Kaga: For accepting such a challange will be your downfall!!! Be Resurrected Iron Chefs!!!!!
**Iron Chef French, Iron Chef Japanese, Iron Chef Chinese, and Iron Chef Italian appear and decent from their podium**
Diane: *faints*
Nathan: *catches Diane* That's it! No more watching Iron Chef for you!
Angela: They ever look better in person than in real life!!
Nick: Can we watch Gundam now?
Everyone Else: *glare at Nick*
Nick: *sighs*
Eric: Iron Chef is GOD.
Adia: And we're going against them.
Mr. Popo: That pretty much sums it up that we're screwed now.
Jenny: My Home Economics teacher will have a field day with this.
Vanessa: *sighs*
Chairman Kaga: For this challange, the main theme for today is...
*A platform appears with smoke surrounding it and a curtain over it. Chairman Kaga pulls off the curtain to reveal a bowl filled with...*
All: TWINKIES?!!!!
COMMENTATOR STAND
Fukui: That's a pretty strange main theme.
Ota: I've read that twinkies are quite a treat for our challangers.
Eric's Voice: TWINKIES ARE GOD!!!
Fukui: I wonder what dishes will be created.
Ota: For starters, they will not be fat free.
KITCHEN STADIUM
**the gong has rung**
Vanessa: *ties to a chair* The Gong Show?
Chairman Kaga: Allez Cuisine!
Vanessa: *whines* FRENCH!!! I HATE FRENCH!!!! EVIL!! EVIL!!!! EEEEEVVVVIIIIIILLLLLL!!!!!
**The Gang and the Iron Chef take all the twinkies they need. They all return to their spots.**
Nathan: *looking at a twinkie* Does anyone know what to do with these things?
Nick: Let's make a Gundam Twinkie!!!!
Iron Chef Spainish/Diane/Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: ENOUGH WITH THE GUNDAMS!!!!
Nick: Awww...
Mr. Popo: Oh yeah. We are so screwed.
Iron Chef Spainish: *starts chopping some twinkies* We must do our best, even thou it seems ridiculious.
Diane: If we win, can I have my picture taken with Morimoto?
Angela: "If" we win.
Iron Chef Spainish: *looks at the others* What are you waiting for? START COOKING THOSE DAMN TWINKIES!!!
Diane/Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: Hai!!!
Eric: *shoves a twinkie in a blender* Mahahaha!
Jenny: Oh? You're making a Twinkie Milkshake?
Eric: *evil grin* You could say that...
COMMENTATOR STAND
Fukui: It looks like our challangers started off with a Milkshake Twinkie?
Ota: What's even worse, Kobe and Chen are working on a Twinkie Casorole while Morimoto starts making Twinkie sushi. Sakai starts whipping out Twinkies a La Creame. That'll probably score big points for the Iron Chefs.
Fukui: I think the over usage of the word "twinkie" is getting our judges cracked up.
Ota: ....
Fukui: What? It was funny.
KITCHEN STADIUM
Voice Over: 45 Minutes!
Nathan: *making twinkie stir fry* We'll win with this!
**Eric and Mr. Popo are making Twinkie pies**
Eric: Pot pie! Pot pie!!!
Mr. Popo: I feel sorry for those who will be testing our creativity.
Eric: POT PIE!!!!
Mr. Popo: All right! We'll make a twinkie pot pie if you'll just shut up about it!
Eric: *grin* Okay.
**Meanwhile Iron Chef Spainish, Diane, and Jenny are working on Twinkie Burgers**
Iron Chef Spainish: *mincing Twinkies with meat and spices*
Jenny: *helping him* Wow, this is the first time I'm cooking with an Iron Chef and I don't look like an idiot doing it.
Diane: We are doing this for our friend.
Jenny: Hey what will happen if the Iron Chefs crossed over with the V-Anime Club?
Diane: Can we use Nick as the "themed" ingrediant?
Iron Chef Spainish: I don't think so.
Diane: Then screw it.
Jenny: *groan* It's a good idea that Nick isn't here to help us.
**Nick enters**
Nick: Hey guys, need anything?
Jenny/Diane/Iron Chef Spainish: NO!!!!
Nick: Then I'm going to help the Iron Chefs with anything.
Jenny/Diane/Iron Chef Spainish: .....
Nick: Aren't you going to stop me?
Jenny/Diane/Iron Chef Spainish: Nope.
Nick: Well fine! *leaves*
Eric: *looks at Diane* You guys are so mean to him.
Diane: Shut up now and cook!!
COMMENTATOR STAND
Fukui: It looks like Nick from the Anime club wants to help the Iron Chefs. They do not seem to like Nick.
Ota: Can we allow that to happen even though the challanger is offering help to our Iron Chefs?
**Fukui and Ota stare at Chairman Kaga***
Chairman Kaga: We'll accept.
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* And besides, Nick is a dick.
KITCHEN STADIUM
**Nick appears at the Iron Chef's side***
Nick: Yo.
Iron Chef French/Iron Chef Chinese/Iron Chef Japanese/Iron Chef Italian: *doing their own food presentations*
Nick: My Japanese, Chinese, or what ever you guys speak kinda sucks. So I'm here to say it to you in plan English this; "I AM HERE TO HELP YOU".
Iron Chef French/Iron Chef Chinese/Iron Chef Japanese/Iron Chef Italian: *still continue to do what they are doing*
Nick: Man, you guys are colder than the members of the V-Anime. I raither stay there than here. *looks at the other side* Hey, the gang already has their food up. I'm gonna get a bite from what they have. You guys are free to taste what we made; it's on me. See ya. *leaves*
Iron Chef Italian: Man, what a dick.
Iron Chef Chinese: Hell, if I was a member of that club...I will do whatever it takes to get him out.
Iron Chef French: How could someone so annoying get into an anime club such as this?
**silence**
Iron Chef Japanese: Even the president doesn't know how he got in.
Iron Chef French/Iron Chef Chinese/Iron Chef Italian: ......
Iron Chef Italian: *looks at Iron Chef Japanese* You're joking right?
COMMENTATOR STAND
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* See, I told ya Nick is a dick.
Fukui/Ota: Oooh.
Chairman Kaga: Excuse me, but who is keeping eye on the battle?
Ota: *looks at Fukui* I thought you were watching it.
Fukui: But it's your turn to comment.
Vanessa: Well, I guess this is what you folks called the "squeeze on" segment. *snicker*
Fukui/Ota/Chairman Kaga: .....
Vanessa: *sighs* You guys are so passe.
Fukui: Why must we always have a "Bimbo de Jour"?
Vanessa: French...EVIL!!!!
Ota/Chairman Kaga: *look at Fukui* Because it's ENTERTAINMENT!
Chairman Kaga: *hugs Vanessa* Besides, this girl is playing the part perfectly.
Vanessa: *face goes red* !!!!!
KITCHEN STADIUM
Voice Over: 10 Minutes!
**the Iron Chefs place the final touches on their dishes; Twinkie Casorole, Twinkie Sushi, Steamed Twinkies, Twinkie Pudding Soup, and Twinkies a La Creame. The V-Anime Club tries to do the same thing but...**
Diane: OUR DISHES ARE GONE!!!!
Jenny/Eric/Angela/Adia/Nathan/Dora/Iron Chef Spainish: AHHHHHHH!!!!
Mr. Popo: Oh crap. Now we are definately screwed.
Eric: I never got a chance to taste my twinkie shake. I was going to make millions over it!!!
Angela: You mean we spent 40 minutes DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?!!!!
Dora: That sucks.
Iron Chef Spainish: I think I know why. *looks at Nick*
Nick: Hey guys, I just had what you guys made and it was so good.
Diane: *glares at Nick* You what?
Nick: It was really good so I ate it all.
Eric: That's not cool man.
Diane: *twitch* You "ate" our dishes?
Nick: Well yeah. That's why you made your dishes for...to eat. So, I ate them.
Nathan: *looks at Diane* Uh oh.
Iron Chef Spainish: Cabron.
Diane: *grabs Nick* YOU IDIOT!!! THOSE DISHES ARE FOR THE JUDGES!!! NOW YOU JUST FUCKED US UP BY EATING OUR HARD WORK!!!!!
Mr. Popo: That is bad.
Nick: *shivering* But we have 10 minutes. We can still make a twinkie Gundam like I said before!
Diane: *has that insane look in her eyes*
Everyone Else: *back away from Diane and Nick*
Nathan: *cowers* I think she lost it.
Nick: Well? We make a Twinkie Gundam?
Diane: Nick...
Nick: Yep?
Diane: THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW!!!! YOU ARE BANNED OUT OF THIS CLUB!!!! *shoves Nick into an oven, closes it, and turns the heat up to 1600F*
Nick: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Oven: Ding!
Diane: *opens the oven to pull out a well done Nick carcess*
Angela: I never knew Nick will actually become a well perserve dish.
Eric: Nick didn't deserve this.
Everyone Else: OH YES HE DID.
Diane: *manchanical grin* Does anyone know how to make Twinkie Stuffing and Pie?
COMMENTATOR STAND
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* Man, I thought I was going to be the one to kill Nick.
Ota: Can this group make a dish that could win them the victory?
Fukui: Does it snow in Winnipeg?
THE TASTING JUDEMENT.
**Chairman Kaga, The Couch, Sean Conery, and Big Gay Al are in a fancy dining room**
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* And the worst part, I don't get to taste any!! POOPY!!!
Big Gay Al: Well it looks like someone been playing around in the Broque Era, you sly dog.
Sean Conery: I detest this akward panel of judges. Why do we have a couch a judge as well?
Chairman Kaja: He ate the Fortune Teller.
**silence**
Big Gay Al: *looks at the couch* Someone been a naughty couch.
The Couch: Fortune is good.
Vanessa: And the worst part that was from the Vanier Christian Club!
**a butler serves the three judges the Iron Chef's dishes**
Chairman Kaga: Let the tasting begin!
Sean Conery: *taking a bite out of some of the dishes* The presentation seems to be lacking but the Twinkie a La Creame and the Twinkie Sushi are a must!
Big Gay Al: Those two dishes are super! But I worry about the other three. They lack the Iron Chef Quality. It looks like they'll need my help, if you known what I mean. *giggle*
The Couch: *swallow the 5 dishes then spits them out* THEY'RE ALL CRAP!!!!
Vanessa/Chairman Kaga: .....
**another bulter appears and serve the V-Anime dishes; a Twinkie Haggis(Nick), Twinkie Pot Pie, and Twinkie Shake.**
Sean Conery: *eats the twinkie haggis* Just like my mother used to make, but less sweet.
Big Gay Al: It may look revolting, but it's SUPER!
Sean Conery: The pie is good but the shake is like poison.
Big Gay Al: I find the Twinkie Shake a bit too exaggerating. But the pie is also SUPER!
The Couch: *eats the rest of the Twinkie Haggis* Nick...good. *eats the rest of the Twinkie pot pie and washes it down with a twinkie shake.* **BURP**!!!!!
**car alarms go off**
Big Gay Al: *looks at the couch and pouts* Now that wasn't very nice.
The Couch: *mutters* Sorry.
KITCHEN STADIUM
Chairman Kaga: Today we have witness a battle that no one has ever seen before; a battle where the sanity has frankly left the contendors into a grueling battle of Hostess' snack cakes. Each of them were very talented with their dishes, but there can only be one winner.
Diane: *crosses fingers and prays* Please let it be us, please let it be us.
Jenny: *whispers* We'll be famous anyway.
Fukui: So who is the winner? Who's dishes reign supreme?!!
Chairman Kaga: *yells* Iron Chef Spanish and the V-Anime Club!!!
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* WE ARE NOT DEAF!!!!!
Angela: We...won?
Mr. Popo: Yep.
Angela/Mr. Popo/Eric/Jenny/Diane/Nathan/Dora/Adia: *celerbrating* WE WON!!! WE WON!!! WE WON!!!!!
Nathan: *pulls out a six case of beer* I've got the Guinuess!!
Iron Chef Japanese: *pulls out Japanese beer* I've got sake!
Mr. Popo: Even better!!!
Jenny: We're all going to get fully drunk over here!!!
All: HELL YEAH!!!
Big Gay Al: We're SUPER!!!
Sean Conery: I'll have my scotch.
Ota: Just how does one get "fully drunk"?
Iron Chef Italian: You'll see. *grins*
Vanessa: *still tied to a chair* You know, where I am is a pretty sucky position to be when one wants to party.
Chairman Kaga: Oh, you'll be having fun as well.
Vanessa: Nani?
Nat: And so forth the Anime Club was accepted in the Kitchen Stadium. They will be the first non chefs that competed in this race.
Diane: *glomps Iron Chef Japanese* I LUV YOU MAN!
Iron Chef Japanese: ACK!
Nathan: Oh no.
Eric: Morimoto is the man.
Angela: Hell yeah.
Dora: Where did Vanessa and the Chairman go?
Mr. Popo: Well, here goes the leftovers. *jumps into a vat of pudding*
Jenny: Popo! Wait!! *she grabs Iron Chef Chinese and Iron Chef Italian to join her in the pudding vat*
Iron Chef Chinese/Iron Chef Italian: Wai!
Eric: Chocolate Covered Iron Chef!!!
Diane: I want! I want!!
Nathan: That's it. FOOD FIGHT!!! *throws leftover twinkies at everyone*
Iron Chef French: *gets hit by a twinkie* Ow.
Nathan: *backs away* Uh oh.
Iron Chef French: You're going down. *throws some leftover pies at Nathan*
Nathan: AH! *tries to avoid them, but gets constantly masacured*
Fukui: *gets hit by a pie* HEY!!!
The Couch: Mmmm...leftovers.
**Everyone joins into the food fight, except for Chairman Kaga and Vanessa. Pieces of twinkies are flown with pudding balls soaring into the air**
Nat: *is hit by a blob of pudding* That's it. Screw you guys, I'm going home. *exits*
THE NEXT DAY-OUTSIDE VANIER COLLEGE
**The V-Anime Gang is underneath a tree**
Nat: *gets up* So everything has turned back to normal, or has it?
Diane: *hugs the knife* I've got Morimoto's kitchen knives. Hee hee...
Nathan: *sighs* Why do I even bother?
Jenny: You know if it weren't for Nick, who knows what would happen to us?
Mr. Popo: For once, we owe Nick something.
Eric: We do.
**silence**
Dora: I still haven't gave Vanessa's tapes back.
Nathan: Where is Vanessa?
Adia: She'll be here.
**Vanessa enters**
Vanessa: Hey guys, you won't believe this werid dream I had.
Mr. Popo: Pray, do tell.
Jenny: Yeah, tell us Van.
Vanessa: Well, I had this strange dream you guys went into an Iron Chef competition with the Iron Spainish Chef, twinkies were the themed ingrediant, Nick ate our stuff but you all killed him, you also won, and then Mr. Takeshi gave me a spanking for serveral hours.
Everyone Else: *snickers*
Mr. Popo: Wow. I never knew Takeshi was into that with women.
Adia: Me either.
Vanessa: What's so funny? *notices the knives* Wait on a sec, you did went into that competition!!!!!
Nathan: Yeah.
Vanessa: Then that would also mean....
**a limo drives in front of the group. The car's side window opens**
Kaga Takeshi: *gives a card to Vanessa* Arigato for your peformance. Call me sometime.
**the window closes and the limo drives away**
Vanessa: *freaking out as she holds the card* SON OF A BITCH!!
THE END?!!
Rated R
Note: This is in script format. All characters are owed by their own
respected owners (FujiTV, FOOD NetWork, South Park, etc). This fic started off as when I first watched "Iron Chef".
Don't flame me, even though some parts in this fic are offensive.
The Cast
-V-ANIME MEMBERS-
Vanessa
Angela
Eric
Jenny
Nick
Diane
Nathan
Dora
Adia
Mr. Popo/Oliver
-THE IRON CHEFS-
Iron Chef French-Sakai Hiroyuki
Iron Chef Chinese-Chen Kenichi
Iron Chef Japanese-Morimoto Masaharu
Iron Chef Italian-Kobe Masahiko
-OTHER-
Chairman Kaga Takeshi
Representitives of Fuji TV
Sean Conery
Fukui Kenji
Ota Shinichiro
The Couch
Big Gay Al
Nat
Iron Chef Spanish-Alfredo Perez
***
THE V-ANIME ROOM 101
Nat: Our story begins at another typical day at the V-Anime.
**Eric, Jenny, Vanessa, and Angela are hanging around the room. All of them
are sitting on the chairs.**
Vanessa: *drawing something* You know, I think I'm getting a knack at this
drawing this stickman body.
Angela: Well your first drawing was pretty good.
Jenny: *looks at Vanessa* It's so cool.
Vanessa: Yeah. *continues drawing* I suck at drawing anime men.
Angela: You're doing progress.
Eric: Hell, I can't draw like that.
Jenny: Keep up the good work.
Nat: As Vanessa draws, she notices something terrible wrong. She draws a
head of a guy...but a body of a Sailor suit.
Vanessa: *looks at her drawing as she continues it* Someone is going to hurt
me for this.
Angela: What to you mean?
Vanessa: Ever since D-chan started talking about "Iron Chef" and the host
that wears so many outragous costumes...
Eric: That show kicks ass.
Jenny: Go on.
Vanessa: Well...
Nat: All of a sudden, Vanessa reveals her picture to the others.
Eric/Angela/Jenny: *stare at the pic* O.O;;;
Jenny: Is that...Chairman Kaga?
Angela: Well, I never knew he looks damn fine in a sailor suit!
Eric: AH!!! *cowers* Iron Chef is ruinned for me!!!!
Angela: Vanessa, you have a sick twisted sense of humor.
Vanessa: I know. *looks at the pic* I'm gonna get my ass kicked for this.
Eric: I bet you $5.00 to go post it on the net.
**silence**
Vanessa: Are you sure? Someone could get offended by this.
Jenny: Well they have Bill Gates in a sailor suit.
Eric: Come on Vanessa, don't be a chicken.
Vanessa: HEY!!
Eric: Put the damn pic up. It's just a silly picture.
Angela: Yeah. It's like no one will be offended by a cartoon drawing.
Vanessa: If you insist...I'll go put the pic up.
Jenny/Eric: Yay!
Nat: And so Vanessa went and posted up her humorous drawing. It's not like
anyone will get offended by it? Right???
LATE AT NIGHT
Net Surfer: *on Project ACUO* Hey, what's this? *looks at the pic* This pic
is funny!! I have to send it to my friends!
Nat: And so the trouble begins. A simple net user sends the pic to his
friends and then his friends send that pic to their friends as well. It's
a continuing endless cycle that'll never stop. It seems harmless, but...
LATER THAT NIGHT
A Representitive of Fuji TV: *looking at his email* Junk mail. I swear. Is
Hotmail good at anything?
Nat: He then notices a certain pic.
A Representitive of Fuji TV: *sees the picture* WHAT THE?!!!! *snickers*
That is something you definately don't see...but Mr. Takeshi won't like
this. Oh well.
Nat: He then faxes the pic to Mr. Takeshi...and all hell breaks loose.
THE VERY NEXT DAY AT THE V-ANIME ROOM 101
**Diane, Nathan, and Vanessa are in the room. Vanessa is sitting on the
couch while Diane and Nathan are sitting on the chairs.**
Vanessa: *sighs* I'm so screwed.
Diane: What do you mean Vanessa?
Vanessa: *looks down* I drew Mr. Takeshi in a Sailor suit.
Diane: *snickers* You mean you're the one....
Vanessa: Yep.
Nathan: You have a sick sense of humor, Vanessa.
Vanessa: *looks up at Nathan* I do.
**the door opens and Nick enters*
Nick: Yo.
Diane/Nathan/Vanessa: .....
Nick: *sits down on the couch* Hey, you're drawing Iron Chef guy again?
Vanessa: ...?
Nick: Why don't you draw him as a gundam? Gundams are cool.
Diane/Nathan/Vanessa: .....
Nick: What? I think he'll look cool as a gundam, even with the headpiece.
Vanessa: *whispers to Diane* Why have you let him be a member of a club?
Nick: Even that crazy Japanese Iron Chef will look good as a gundam.
Diane: HEY!!! No poking fun at Morimoto!!!!
Vanessa: *mutters* Shoot him now please.
**Then two Representitives of Fuji TV appear at the doorway and enter the room**
Representitive of Fuji TV 1: *reading a piece of paper* H-hello, we are
looking for Vanessa.
Vanessa: *gets up* That'll be me.
Representitive of Fuji TV 2: Good. Come with us. It's about a drawing you
did.
Vanessa: Heh. Can't you take a joke?
**The Representitives of Fuji TV grab Vanessa and leave**
Diane: Wonder what that was for.
Nick: If she drew him as a gundam, she wouldn't have that trouble.
Diane: *glare at Nick* ENOUGH WITH THE STUPID GUNDAMS!!!
Nick: Geez, sorry.
Nathan: Why do we even have him here?
Diane: I don't know. I just don't know.
KITCHEN STADIUM
**the Representitives of Fuji TV drag Vanessa here**
Vanessa: Whoa..is this?
**the Representitives of Fuji TV then leave**
Vanessa: *turns around* Hey!!! What is going on? You can't leave me here!!!
I'm a cartoonist...not a CHEF!!!!!
???: So you're the one who drew this?
Vanessa: *sweatdrop* Uh yes, that'll be me.
???: *sighs* And I thought someone like you who is gifted with this art is also a good cook. Oh well...
Vanessa: Nani?!!
Nat: And so the mysterious voice over stranger reveals himself. He is no other than..*blinds his eyes* GOD DAMN!!! THAT JACKET IS TOO DAMN FLASHY!!!
**Chairman Kaga appears in one of his flamboyant suits**
Vanessa: Holy crap!!! It's you!!!
Nat: *screams* MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
Chairman Kaga: If my memory serves me correctly, you drew this picture for your own amusement.
Vanessa: *shields eyes* Uh yeah. Man, do you even slim down on your fashion?
Chairman Kaga: I find this pic quite "amusing".
Vanessa: Well glad you did. *starts to walk away* I'll be going home and we will never speak of this again.
Chairman Kaga: *smirks* Be Resurrected Iron Chefs!!!!!
**The Iron Chefs appear, standing in their podium**
Vanessa: *sweatdrops* Uh oh.
Chairman Kaga: I said I found your picture "amusing", not funny. Iron Chefs! Get me that pesky cartoonist!!!! Tie her up!
Iron Chefs: Hai!
Vanessa: Look, I love to stay and get an autograph but...*starts to run* GOTTA GO!!!!
**Vanessa makes a run for it, but the Iron Chefs managed to corner her down and tie her to a chair. Chairman Kaga does a very evil laugh.**
LATER THAT DAY AT THE V-ANIME ROOM 101
Nathan: Did anyone know where those guys taken Vanessa?
Diane: Who knows?
Nick: *mutters* At least that bitch is gone.
Diane: Hm?
**Angela, Eric, Jenny, and Mr. Popo arrive**
Eric: I can't believe Vanessa actually did it for $5.00
Angela: What people will do for money.
Eric: Yeah. But it's $5.00 Canadian! It's not even worth a dollar US.
Mr. Popo: That's our Vanessa.
Jenny: I wonder if she'll show me her new drawings of Chairman Kaga. I really liked him in a sailor suit.
**Dora enters**
Dora: Have any of you seen Vanessa? I have her Card Captor Sakura tapes.
Everyone Else: Nope.
Diane: Leave them here. She's going to bitch and complain if she doesn't get them.
Nick: Like she always bitches.
Everyone Else: *stare at Nick*
Nick: What?
**Adia enters, standing at the doors**
Adia: Hey guys, the N Building computer lab has finally has satillite. You guys can watch actual TV.
Mr. Popo: Hey, what time is it?
Jenny: *looks at her watch* Around 10.
Angela: Hey, doesn't "Iron Chef" play around 10am and then repeat itself at 1am in the morning?
**The group then jumps out of their seats and head towards the N-Building*
THE N BUILDING
**the gang is watching Iron Chef on one of the TVs**
Nick: Should we be watching Gundam? I find it to be better than this.
Diane: Shh! No talking while watching Iron Chef!!
Eric: Iron Chef is the man.
Diane: Quiet you!
TV: **shows Chairman Kaga talking to the challanger but there is also someone right next to him**
Vanessa: *on TV, looking at the camera as she is tied to a chair* Someone!!! Help me!!!
Diane: OH MY GOD!!!! Vanessa is the "themed" ingrediant?!!!
Nick: Yay.
Everyone Else: *glare at Nick*
Nick: What?!
Angela: Well, I never knew Iron Chef does Hannibal Lector.
Adia: I don't think she's the theme ingrediant...it looks like she's the prize.
Nick: Boo.
Everyone Else: *glare at Nick again*
Nick: What?!
Mr. Popo: How do you know all these things?
Adia: Simple. Mr. Takeshi said so.
Mr. Popo: Oh. That makes a lot of sense. I think.
Jenny: They can't do that!! That's our Vanessa!
Dora: Who would want to win our Vanessa?
Nathan: Well Vanessa has no actual boyfriend and she never had sex. You should see how Oriental guys go crazy for forgien Pure Virgins.
Diane: THAT'S NO FAIR!!!! SHE'LL END UP IN BED WITH MORIMOTO THAN I WILL!!!
Nathan: *looks at Diane* Hey!!!
Adia: Aren't you supposed to be worried about VANESSA?!!!
Diane: Oh yeah, and that too. *sighs*
Jenny: What are we going to do?!!! Popo! Do something!!
Mr. Popo: Like what? I'm just like the rest of you!
**a mysterious figure appears**
???: My niece is in danger, is she?
Nathan: *looks at the stranger* Niece? You're related to Vanessa?
???: I am her father's brother. *looks at the TV* Come with me, we'll get there before another challanger decides to take her.
Everyone Else: *look at him* Kay.
**The group exits the room with the stanger**
BEFORE A SHOW BEGINS
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* This is horror...
**Chairman Kaga is looking at his closet**
Vanessa: True horror...
**Chairman Kaga picks up two of his bizzare outfits**
Chairman Kaga: *looks at Vanessa* Which one is better? This one or this one?
Vanessa: *whines* SOMEONE SHOOT ME NOW PLEASE!!!!!!!!
ENTRANCE TO THE KITCHEN STADIUM
Fukui: Five years ago, a man's fantasy became reality in a forum never seen before -
Nick: HE WANTED GUNDAM!!!!!!!! GUNDAM!!!!
Jenny: Enough with the Gundam!!! Ugh!
Fukui: a giant cooking arena. The Kitchen Stadium. The motivation for spending his fortune to create Kitchen Stadium was to encounter new original cuisines which could be called true artistic creations.
Dora/Adia: Whoa...
Eric: If I was God, this will be my kitchen.
Diane: Man, how did we get here so fast?
Nathan: Author's too lazy?
Fukui: To realize his dream, he first secretly started selecting the top chefs of various styles of cooking. And he named his men the Iron Chefs - the invincible men of culinary skill.
Adia: Culinary skills? Does anyone know how to cook?
Jenny: I suck in cooking.
Fukui: Iron Chef Japanese is Masaharu Morimoto. Iron Chef French is Hiroyuki Sakai. Iron Chef Chinese is Chen Kenichi. And Masahiko Kobe is Iron Chef Italian.
Diana: *cries* I LOVE YOU!!!
Nathan: *sigh* Good grief.
Fukui: The Kitchen Stadium is the arena where Iron Chefs await the challenges of Master Chefs from around the world. Both the Iron Chef and challenger have one hour to tackle the theme ingredient of the day. Using all their senses, skills, creativity, they're to prepare artistic dishes never tasted before. And if ever a challenger wins over the Iron Chef, he or she will gain the people's ovation and fame will meet the Master Chefs from around the world and their artistic creations. What inspiration will today's challenger bring, and how will the Iron Chef fight back? The heat will be on!
**the doors open**
???: Come on! We have to accept the challange or we will never see our Vanessa again.
Mr. Popo: That's bad.
Jenny: I don't want to miss Vanessa forever.
Dora: I have to give her tapes back. I can't keep them for myself.
Eric: We'll get to meet the Iron Chefs!
Angela: And even if we suck, we'll still be famous for being the first Anime Club against the Iron Chefs.
Diane: As president of this club; I accept the challange. All in favor say "I".
Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: I!!!!!
Diane: All oppose?
Nick: Nay.
Diane: It's official...we're going in!!!
Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: YAY!!!!!
Nick: *sigh*
???: *enters the Kitchen Stadium*
**the gang follows as they enter the stadium too**
KITCHEN STADIUM
**Vanessa and Chairman Kaga await for the group while the commentators are at their stand**
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* GUYS!!!!
Diane/Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: VANESSA!!!
Nick: *groan* Can we go now? There's no Gundam.
Diane/Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: .......
Jenny: *looks at Diane* Why do we have him in the club for?
Nathan: Diane doesn't know either.
COMMENTATOR STAND
Fukui: Well that's our challanger...a group of college students?
Ota: That's correct. This group is friends with who drew this pic. *shows the picture*
Vanessa's Voice: It wasn't THAT BAD!!!
Fukui: Well, let's see what our bizzare challangers have for us today.
KITCHEN STADIUM
???: *glaring at Chairman Kaga* Let go of her right now!!!
Chairman Kaga: *looks at the stranger* I think not. I like having her as a personal fashion consultant.
Vanessa: *still tied to a chair* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Chairman Kaga: I think I've met you before.
???: You have.
Chairman Kaga: *smirks* Reveal yourself...IRON CHEF!!!
???: *he takes off his robe*
Mr. Popo: Holy crap! He's an Iron Chef too!!!
Angela: That's why we found this place so quickly.
**the stranger wears an iron chef suit, except it's in orange and he's holding a yellow pepper**
Chairman Kaga: Iron Chef Spanish. I knew you'll show up.
Vanessa: *smiles as looks at the chef* Uncle Alfi!!!!!
Everyone Else: *look at Vanessa* WHAT?!!!!!
Nick: Yay! I'm not being the one that's being gocked at!!
Adia: Vanessa is related to an IRON CHEF?
Iron Chef Spanish: *glare at Chairman Kaga* You dare bring my family in this? Therefore...I, Iron Chef Spanish, shall challange ALL your Iron Chefs in a one hour cook-off.
Diane/Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: *sweatdrops*
Chairman Kaga: *backs aways, scared* "All" Iron Chefs?
Vanessa: *looks at Iron Chef Spainish* Uncle!!! Are you CRAZY?!!!!
COMMENTATOR STAND
Ota: In a strange turn of events, Iron Chef Spanish has appeared with the V-Anime Gang in a fiesty cook off with all the Iron Chefs.
Fukui: Either that is one strong Iron Chef or one clearly stupid one.
Ota: Only our judges may decide.
KITCHEN STADIUM
Chairman Kaga: For accepting such a challange will be your downfall!!! Be Resurrected Iron Chefs!!!!!
**Iron Chef French, Iron Chef Japanese, Iron Chef Chinese, and Iron Chef Italian appear and decent from their podium**
Diane: *faints*
Nathan: *catches Diane* That's it! No more watching Iron Chef for you!
Angela: They ever look better in person than in real life!!
Nick: Can we watch Gundam now?
Everyone Else: *glare at Nick*
Nick: *sighs*
Eric: Iron Chef is GOD.
Adia: And we're going against them.
Mr. Popo: That pretty much sums it up that we're screwed now.
Jenny: My Home Economics teacher will have a field day with this.
Vanessa: *sighs*
Chairman Kaga: For this challange, the main theme for today is...
*A platform appears with smoke surrounding it and a curtain over it. Chairman Kaga pulls off the curtain to reveal a bowl filled with...*
All: TWINKIES?!!!!
COMMENTATOR STAND
Fukui: That's a pretty strange main theme.
Ota: I've read that twinkies are quite a treat for our challangers.
Eric's Voice: TWINKIES ARE GOD!!!
Fukui: I wonder what dishes will be created.
Ota: For starters, they will not be fat free.
KITCHEN STADIUM
**the gong has rung**
Vanessa: *ties to a chair* The Gong Show?
Chairman Kaga: Allez Cuisine!
Vanessa: *whines* FRENCH!!! I HATE FRENCH!!!! EVIL!! EVIL!!!! EEEEEVVVVIIIIIILLLLLL!!!!!
**The Gang and the Iron Chef take all the twinkies they need. They all return to their spots.**
Nathan: *looking at a twinkie* Does anyone know what to do with these things?
Nick: Let's make a Gundam Twinkie!!!!
Iron Chef Spainish/Diane/Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: ENOUGH WITH THE GUNDAMS!!!!
Nick: Awww...
Mr. Popo: Oh yeah. We are so screwed.
Iron Chef Spainish: *starts chopping some twinkies* We must do our best, even thou it seems ridiculious.
Diane: If we win, can I have my picture taken with Morimoto?
Angela: "If" we win.
Iron Chef Spainish: *looks at the others* What are you waiting for? START COOKING THOSE DAMN TWINKIES!!!
Diane/Angela/Eric/Jenny/Nathan/Dora/Adia/Mr. Popo: Hai!!!
Eric: *shoves a twinkie in a blender* Mahahaha!
Jenny: Oh? You're making a Twinkie Milkshake?
Eric: *evil grin* You could say that...
COMMENTATOR STAND
Fukui: It looks like our challangers started off with a Milkshake Twinkie?
Ota: What's even worse, Kobe and Chen are working on a Twinkie Casorole while Morimoto starts making Twinkie sushi. Sakai starts whipping out Twinkies a La Creame. That'll probably score big points for the Iron Chefs.
Fukui: I think the over usage of the word "twinkie" is getting our judges cracked up.
Ota: ....
Fukui: What? It was funny.
KITCHEN STADIUM
Voice Over: 45 Minutes!
Nathan: *making twinkie stir fry* We'll win with this!
**Eric and Mr. Popo are making Twinkie pies**
Eric: Pot pie! Pot pie!!!
Mr. Popo: I feel sorry for those who will be testing our creativity.
Eric: POT PIE!!!!
Mr. Popo: All right! We'll make a twinkie pot pie if you'll just shut up about it!
Eric: *grin* Okay.
**Meanwhile Iron Chef Spainish, Diane, and Jenny are working on Twinkie Burgers**
Iron Chef Spainish: *mincing Twinkies with meat and spices*
Jenny: *helping him* Wow, this is the first time I'm cooking with an Iron Chef and I don't look like an idiot doing it.
Diane: We are doing this for our friend.
Jenny: Hey what will happen if the Iron Chefs crossed over with the V-Anime Club?
Diane: Can we use Nick as the "themed" ingrediant?
Iron Chef Spainish: I don't think so.
Diane: Then screw it.
Jenny: *groan* It's a good idea that Nick isn't here to help us.
**Nick enters**
Nick: Hey guys, need anything?
Jenny/Diane/Iron Chef Spainish: NO!!!!
Nick: Then I'm going to help the Iron Chefs with anything.
Jenny/Diane/Iron Chef Spainish: .....
Nick: Aren't you going to stop me?
Jenny/Diane/Iron Chef Spainish: Nope.
Nick: Well fine! *leaves*
Eric: *looks at Diane* You guys are so mean to him.
Diane: Shut up now and cook!!
COMMENTATOR STAND
Fukui: It looks like Nick from the Anime club wants to help the Iron Chefs. They do not seem to like Nick.
Ota: Can we allow that to happen even though the challanger is offering help to our Iron Chefs?
**Fukui and Ota stare at Chairman Kaga***
Chairman Kaga: We'll accept.
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* And besides, Nick is a dick.
KITCHEN STADIUM
**Nick appears at the Iron Chef's side***
Nick: Yo.
Iron Chef French/Iron Chef Chinese/Iron Chef Japanese/Iron Chef Italian: *doing their own food presentations*
Nick: My Japanese, Chinese, or what ever you guys speak kinda sucks. So I'm here to say it to you in plan English this; "I AM HERE TO HELP YOU".
Iron Chef French/Iron Chef Chinese/Iron Chef Japanese/Iron Chef Italian: *still continue to do what they are doing*
Nick: Man, you guys are colder than the members of the V-Anime. I raither stay there than here. *looks at the other side* Hey, the gang already has their food up. I'm gonna get a bite from what they have. You guys are free to taste what we made; it's on me. See ya. *leaves*
Iron Chef Italian: Man, what a dick.
Iron Chef Chinese: Hell, if I was a member of that club...I will do whatever it takes to get him out.
Iron Chef French: How could someone so annoying get into an anime club such as this?
**silence**
Iron Chef Japanese: Even the president doesn't know how he got in.
Iron Chef French/Iron Chef Chinese/Iron Chef Italian: ......
Iron Chef Italian: *looks at Iron Chef Japanese* You're joking right?
COMMENTATOR STAND
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* See, I told ya Nick is a dick.
Fukui/Ota: Oooh.
Chairman Kaga: Excuse me, but who is keeping eye on the battle?
Ota: *looks at Fukui* I thought you were watching it.
Fukui: But it's your turn to comment.
Vanessa: Well, I guess this is what you folks called the "squeeze on" segment. *snicker*
Fukui/Ota/Chairman Kaga: .....
Vanessa: *sighs* You guys are so passe.
Fukui: Why must we always have a "Bimbo de Jour"?
Vanessa: French...EVIL!!!!
Ota/Chairman Kaga: *look at Fukui* Because it's ENTERTAINMENT!
Chairman Kaga: *hugs Vanessa* Besides, this girl is playing the part perfectly.
Vanessa: *face goes red* !!!!!
KITCHEN STADIUM
Voice Over: 10 Minutes!
**the Iron Chefs place the final touches on their dishes; Twinkie Casorole, Twinkie Sushi, Steamed Twinkies, Twinkie Pudding Soup, and Twinkies a La Creame. The V-Anime Club tries to do the same thing but...**
Diane: OUR DISHES ARE GONE!!!!
Jenny/Eric/Angela/Adia/Nathan/Dora/Iron Chef Spainish: AHHHHHHH!!!!
Mr. Popo: Oh crap. Now we are definately screwed.
Eric: I never got a chance to taste my twinkie shake. I was going to make millions over it!!!
Angela: You mean we spent 40 minutes DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?!!!!
Dora: That sucks.
Iron Chef Spainish: I think I know why. *looks at Nick*
Nick: Hey guys, I just had what you guys made and it was so good.
Diane: *glares at Nick* You what?
Nick: It was really good so I ate it all.
Eric: That's not cool man.
Diane: *twitch* You "ate" our dishes?
Nick: Well yeah. That's why you made your dishes for...to eat. So, I ate them.
Nathan: *looks at Diane* Uh oh.
Iron Chef Spainish: Cabron.
Diane: *grabs Nick* YOU IDIOT!!! THOSE DISHES ARE FOR THE JUDGES!!! NOW YOU JUST FUCKED US UP BY EATING OUR HARD WORK!!!!!
Mr. Popo: That is bad.
Nick: *shivering* But we have 10 minutes. We can still make a twinkie Gundam like I said before!
Diane: *has that insane look in her eyes*
Everyone Else: *back away from Diane and Nick*
Nathan: *cowers* I think she lost it.
Nick: Well? We make a Twinkie Gundam?
Diane: Nick...
Nick: Yep?
Diane: THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW!!!! YOU ARE BANNED OUT OF THIS CLUB!!!! *shoves Nick into an oven, closes it, and turns the heat up to 1600F*
Nick: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Oven: Ding!
Diane: *opens the oven to pull out a well done Nick carcess*
Angela: I never knew Nick will actually become a well perserve dish.
Eric: Nick didn't deserve this.
Everyone Else: OH YES HE DID.
Diane: *manchanical grin* Does anyone know how to make Twinkie Stuffing and Pie?
COMMENTATOR STAND
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* Man, I thought I was going to be the one to kill Nick.
Ota: Can this group make a dish that could win them the victory?
Fukui: Does it snow in Winnipeg?
THE TASTING JUDEMENT.
**Chairman Kaga, The Couch, Sean Conery, and Big Gay Al are in a fancy dining room**
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* And the worst part, I don't get to taste any!! POOPY!!!
Big Gay Al: Well it looks like someone been playing around in the Broque Era, you sly dog.
Sean Conery: I detest this akward panel of judges. Why do we have a couch a judge as well?
Chairman Kaja: He ate the Fortune Teller.
**silence**
Big Gay Al: *looks at the couch* Someone been a naughty couch.
The Couch: Fortune is good.
Vanessa: And the worst part that was from the Vanier Christian Club!
**a butler serves the three judges the Iron Chef's dishes**
Chairman Kaga: Let the tasting begin!
Sean Conery: *taking a bite out of some of the dishes* The presentation seems to be lacking but the Twinkie a La Creame and the Twinkie Sushi are a must!
Big Gay Al: Those two dishes are super! But I worry about the other three. They lack the Iron Chef Quality. It looks like they'll need my help, if you known what I mean. *giggle*
The Couch: *swallow the 5 dishes then spits them out* THEY'RE ALL CRAP!!!!
Vanessa/Chairman Kaga: .....
**another bulter appears and serve the V-Anime dishes; a Twinkie Haggis(Nick), Twinkie Pot Pie, and Twinkie Shake.**
Sean Conery: *eats the twinkie haggis* Just like my mother used to make, but less sweet.
Big Gay Al: It may look revolting, but it's SUPER!
Sean Conery: The pie is good but the shake is like poison.
Big Gay Al: I find the Twinkie Shake a bit too exaggerating. But the pie is also SUPER!
The Couch: *eats the rest of the Twinkie Haggis* Nick...good. *eats the rest of the Twinkie pot pie and washes it down with a twinkie shake.* **BURP**!!!!!
**car alarms go off**
Big Gay Al: *looks at the couch and pouts* Now that wasn't very nice.
The Couch: *mutters* Sorry.
KITCHEN STADIUM
Chairman Kaga: Today we have witness a battle that no one has ever seen before; a battle where the sanity has frankly left the contendors into a grueling battle of Hostess' snack cakes. Each of them were very talented with their dishes, but there can only be one winner.
Diane: *crosses fingers and prays* Please let it be us, please let it be us.
Jenny: *whispers* We'll be famous anyway.
Fukui: So who is the winner? Who's dishes reign supreme?!!
Chairman Kaga: *yells* Iron Chef Spanish and the V-Anime Club!!!
Vanessa: *tied to a chair* WE ARE NOT DEAF!!!!!
Angela: We...won?
Mr. Popo: Yep.
Angela/Mr. Popo/Eric/Jenny/Diane/Nathan/Dora/Adia: *celerbrating* WE WON!!! WE WON!!! WE WON!!!!!
Nathan: *pulls out a six case of beer* I've got the Guinuess!!
Iron Chef Japanese: *pulls out Japanese beer* I've got sake!
Mr. Popo: Even better!!!
Jenny: We're all going to get fully drunk over here!!!
All: HELL YEAH!!!
Big Gay Al: We're SUPER!!!
Sean Conery: I'll have my scotch.
Ota: Just how does one get "fully drunk"?
Iron Chef Italian: You'll see. *grins*
Vanessa: *still tied to a chair* You know, where I am is a pretty sucky position to be when one wants to party.
Chairman Kaga: Oh, you'll be having fun as well.
Vanessa: Nani?
Nat: And so forth the Anime Club was accepted in the Kitchen Stadium. They will be the first non chefs that competed in this race.
Diane: *glomps Iron Chef Japanese* I LUV YOU MAN!
Iron Chef Japanese: ACK!
Nathan: Oh no.
Eric: Morimoto is the man.
Angela: Hell yeah.
Dora: Where did Vanessa and the Chairman go?
Mr. Popo: Well, here goes the leftovers. *jumps into a vat of pudding*
Jenny: Popo! Wait!! *she grabs Iron Chef Chinese and Iron Chef Italian to join her in the pudding vat*
Iron Chef Chinese/Iron Chef Italian: Wai!
Eric: Chocolate Covered Iron Chef!!!
Diane: I want! I want!!
Nathan: That's it. FOOD FIGHT!!! *throws leftover twinkies at everyone*
Iron Chef French: *gets hit by a twinkie* Ow.
Nathan: *backs away* Uh oh.
Iron Chef French: You're going down. *throws some leftover pies at Nathan*
Nathan: AH! *tries to avoid them, but gets constantly masacured*
Fukui: *gets hit by a pie* HEY!!!
The Couch: Mmmm...leftovers.
**Everyone joins into the food fight, except for Chairman Kaga and Vanessa. Pieces of twinkies are flown with pudding balls soaring into the air**
Nat: *is hit by a blob of pudding* That's it. Screw you guys, I'm going home. *exits*
THE NEXT DAY-OUTSIDE VANIER COLLEGE
**The V-Anime Gang is underneath a tree**
Nat: *gets up* So everything has turned back to normal, or has it?
Diane: *hugs the knife* I've got Morimoto's kitchen knives. Hee hee...
Nathan: *sighs* Why do I even bother?
Jenny: You know if it weren't for Nick, who knows what would happen to us?
Mr. Popo: For once, we owe Nick something.
Eric: We do.
**silence**
Dora: I still haven't gave Vanessa's tapes back.
Nathan: Where is Vanessa?
Adia: She'll be here.
**Vanessa enters**
Vanessa: Hey guys, you won't believe this werid dream I had.
Mr. Popo: Pray, do tell.
Jenny: Yeah, tell us Van.
Vanessa: Well, I had this strange dream you guys went into an Iron Chef competition with the Iron Spainish Chef, twinkies were the themed ingrediant, Nick ate our stuff but you all killed him, you also won, and then Mr. Takeshi gave me a spanking for serveral hours.
Everyone Else: *snickers*
Mr. Popo: Wow. I never knew Takeshi was into that with women.
Adia: Me either.
Vanessa: What's so funny? *notices the knives* Wait on a sec, you did went into that competition!!!!!
Nathan: Yeah.
Vanessa: Then that would also mean....
**a limo drives in front of the group. The car's side window opens**
Kaga Takeshi: *gives a card to Vanessa* Arigato for your peformance. Call me sometime.
**the window closes and the limo drives away**
Vanessa: *freaking out as she holds the card* SON OF A BITCH!!
THE END?!!