"Hey buddy, what do you say I read you a couple stories tonight? Give your mom a break." Jason knelt down in front of Danny hoping tonight maybe his son would let his guard down a bit.
Ever since Jason came back, Danny had been distant. That was to be expected. Danny was only a baby when Faison shot Jason and covered up his death. Danny didn't rememeber him. Sure, he'd seen pictures. But up until a month ago Danny thought someone else was his father. He thought his uncle was his father. We all thought he was. No doubt it was confusing for him.
"I dont need a break. We love storytime, don't we Danny?" Sam walked out of the kitchen with a glass of warm milk. This was the routine. Ever since Jason moved back in, Danny would barely let Jason near him. Drew used to read Danny his bedtime stories. He was having a hard time understanding why Drew was gone. Sam wanted to give Danny time to adjust. But Jason kept pushing. He had moved back into the Penthouse a couple weeks ago so he could make up for lost time.
"I want mommy to read to me. She does the best voices." Danny said looking over at Sam.
"I do? Well thank you! Thats quite a compliment coming from you!" Sam looked over at Jason.
"Dont worry, I got this." she said taking Danny's hand and walking him upstairs.
Jason watched as his wife and son headed up stairs. Sam could feel his eyes on them and it made her uneasy. She knew she should feel happy that he was back. But Jason being here in the house with them didn't feel like it used to. She wasn't sure if it was because of how much time they had spent apart, or because she had fallen in love with his brother.
Sam finished reading Danny his stories and tucked him into bed.
"Mommy, I miss Daddy."Danny said looking up at her with tearful eyes.
"I know, baby. But Danny, we talked about this. I know its hard for you to understand but your dad is downstairs. And he loves you so much and he wants to be a part of your life. Of our lives. Your Daddy had to be away for a while, but he is here now. And Drew still loves you so much. And you can see him whenever you want. But he's not your Dad, Danny. He's your Uncle." Sam told him. She still had a hard time comprehending all this herself.
"Can i go visit him tomorrow?" Danny asked.
"Sure. Of course. I'll call him and see if he's up for a visit." Sam said giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Sweet dreams."
Sam left Danny and walked down the hall to peek in on Scout. Scout...Drew's daughter. Everytime she looked at her baby girl she saw him. She had her Daddy's eyes. And nose. As much as Jason wanted to have his family back, it wasn't the same family he left 5 years ago. She fell in love with Drew, she still loved him. They were married and had a daughter. A beautiful, perfect daughter. Sam just stood in the doorway listening to the sound of her breathing and remembered them bringing Scout home from the hospital. She had quite a traumatic entrance to the world but thank god Drew never left their side. They were all so happy that day knowing they finally had it all. When things weren't complicated,of course. When we all thought he was Jason. Sam wiped a tear off her cheek and quietly closed Scouts door. She wasn't adjusting well to having her "real" Jason back. They had many awkward nights lately after the kids went to sleep, but tonight Sam didn't feel much like repeating that. She just wanted to be alone. She needed to try and come to terms with everything on her own. She needed to try and find a way to let go of her love for Drew.
Jason was sitting on the couch when Sam came downstairs. He had 2 beers on the table one he was drinking and the other, she presumed, was for her.
"Oh hey, I was hoping maybe we would get a chance to talk tonight. I know this must all be taking a toll on you. I'm so sorry I didn't come back sooner.." Jason pointed to the other beer on the table.
"I got your favorite, or at least it used to be. I'm not really sure what you drink now..I guess I should have asked.."
"Wow. Thank you. That's really thoughtful. I'm actually feeling pretty tired and I was thinking maybe tonight I'd just take a bath and go to bed. I hope you understand." Sam said, not being able to look him in the eye.
"Of course. No, I totally understand. Maybe some other night then."
"Sure. Good night, Jason." Sam said heading back upstairs.
She let out a sigh as she closed the bathroom door behind her. Sam got in the tub and lay there in complete silence. Enjoying the quiet. It had been a long few months. When Jason came back, there were so many questions and so much uncertainty. Sam stood by Drew through all of it. She loved him, she truely believed this man was Jason. How would she not know? There were still things about this situation she could not explain. Drew had the same exact scar as Jason on his right arm. How could that be? Of course, Drew doesn't know how he got it. And how could she explain the connection that her and Danny felt to him when he showed up in PC 3 years ago? As she lay there, her mind flashed to the last painful arguement she had with Drew; the night he left.
"I dont understand, Sam. These memories are the only ones I have. I remember this whole life in so much detail. How could it not be mine? How can this life not be mine? And you know what, even if it's not. I love you. I love you so damn much. And don't tell me you don't love me. Not my name, ME. Does that not mean anything?"
"Of course it does! I found myself being drawn to you even before we found out, or rather, thought we found out you were Jason. I couldn't explain it. I tried to fight these feelings for you that just kept creeping up to the surface. I fell in love with you, Drew. I am in love with you. I love you with every part of myself." Sam said with tears in her eyes.
Drew walked over to her and pulled her hands to his chest, covering them with his own.
"We built a life together. We got married, we had a daughter. We vowed to love eachother through good times and bad. I know this is confusing and I know it doesn't make sense. But please, just take some time. Think about us and the life we built before you throw it away."
Sam looked away, unable to look him in the eye. She knew she wouldn't be able to walk away if she did.
"But our marriage isn't valid. And Jason is still my husband and I have to face the facts. As much as it hurts to walk away, it's what I have to do. I owe it to Jason to at least try. None of this was his fault. And you are still Scout's father. You are still a part of our lives. Please. I need you to respect my decision, even if you dont understand it."
Sam could feel his eyes on her. She met his tearful eyes with hers. His gaze fell and she followed him as he let go of her hands, and picked up his duffle bag from the desk. He turned to her one last time before walking out the door.
"I love you, Sam. I'll always love you."
Sam couldn't hold back the tears anymore. She sat up in the tub, and wrapping her arms tightly around her knees she began to cry. She shut her eyes and remembered the feel of Drew's strong arms around her. How perfectly they fit. For just a moment she found some comfort in that. She didn't know how she was going to let go of him, but she knew she had to find a way. She couldn't move forward in her life with Jason until she did.
Drew hit the punching bag over and over and over. He thought about what life was like 4 months ago. He and Sam had a rough year. Between almost loosing them both after Scouts birth, Sam's illness and his getting shot they barely had a chance to be happy before Jason came back and ripped his life away from him. Sam stood by him, she believed in him. She refused to let anyone convince her he wasn't Jason. But this man had the same memories as he did. The same scar on his right arm. And he had his old face. Even still, Sam stood by his side. But then a DNA test proved that he was Jason's twin brother, Drew. His whole life got pulled out from under him. Sam said she still loved him, but she spent a decade loving Jason. And she felt she owed him a chance to be with his family. He had to respect her wishes and walk away because he loved her.
Drew hit the punching bag with one final blow, then fell back onto the bench with his head in his hands. This was his 10th night in a row at the boxing gym. He couldn't stand to be alone in his condo. He needed to burn off energy. He needed to hit something. He wanted it to be Jason. He wanted to pound the man to the ground for taking his family from him. But he couldn't do that to Danny, so he came here instead. It was all he could do to keep his mind off Sam. Drew pulled out a picture of the four of them from his wallet. He thought about going home to his empty condo. His empty bed. Just then his phone rang.
"Drew, it's Sam..I hope its not too late to be calling.."
"Of course not. No. Hi. How are you Sam?"
"I'm ok. I mean, I'm good. Things are good." Sam tried to keep it formal. She didn't want Drew to know how much she missed him. She didn't want to make this any harder then it already was.
"Good. I'm really happy to hear that." Drew said trying to hide his anger. He didn't want her to be happy. He wanted her to miss him. Miss what they had. He had to hold it together. "What can I do for you, Sam?"
"Danny really misses you. He's still really confused and he wanted to know if he could visit you tomorrow? I could bring Scout too. Unless of course you have other plans.." Sam's voice trailed off.
"No no. I mean, yes of course I'd love a visit. Why don't you bring them by around 11?" The thought of seeing Danny and Scout really brightened his mood. He missed those kids like crazy. And seeing Sam was an added bonus. He missed everything about her. He hadn't seen her or the kids since he moved out a month ago and he wanted this visit to be perfect. Maybe give him and Sam some time to talk. He suddenly felt nervous.
"Sure, that sounds great. We'll see you tomorrow then." For a minute her voice sounded the way it used to when she talked to him. Hopeful, content.
"See you tomorrow." Drew said.
"Hey Drew?" Sam started as if to say something else but quickly changed her tone. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Sam." Drew said looking at the phone, then hung up and held it to his forehead. He took a deep breath as he got up and went hard on the punching bag again. Letting go of Sam was the last thing he wanted and it sure as hell wasn't going to be easy.