One of my first Buffy fics. I've been dying to write this for ages so please review kindly.

Okay so the bold italics are Buffy's diary entries the normal is just thoughts.

And I put Pike it because when I saw him in the film I just imagined a different Pike who could be really close friends with Buffy.

Plus I may use him to annoy Angel- If you review... :)

I've never minded that kind of crap. Y'know, the full package. If I'm honest, I always wanted it. And now he has it. Marriage to a stunning woman? Check.I'll say that for him, he doesn't do things by halves. If he had married some replusive tramp, I could have probably dealt with it easier. But no. Cordelia is kinda stunning and...and normal and sane and every other thing I'm not and never will be. She has the perfect life, the peaceful parents with their recently refound richness, amazing flat,a totally awesome car to drive- an actual drivers license. Great hair.

And now she has him. Angel. I don't know whether to be upset at her or him. When I found out, I actually succeeded in acting happy for them.

It had been torture.

The day had started off okay, despite the feeling in her gut that today was a day she would remember for the rest of her life.

When she allowed herself to remember that day - a rare event- she remembered that it was a cold day. Last week's flight from France had left her slightly jet lagged. She slept it off though but Andrew had complained about a headache non stop until she was banging her head against the coffee table in her LA apartment. She was fond of the annoying ex-archnemesis, no matter how much she groaned. He had behaved better recently, since Pike had stayed with them. They had bumped into each other - literally- in Asia,where she and Andrew were aiding newbie slayers and one night while they were fighting this great big demon, he had showed up. Since she had left LA all those years ago he had kept on the path of demon fighting and gained startlingly good combat skills for a human.

He'd also gained extra cuteness that 16 year old Buffy might just have drooled over. But they weren't dating- the once romance had changed, softened into one of the closest friendships she had ever had. Pike had travelled with them after the chance meeting three months ago.Back when she didn't know.

But then she did. They total lack of food in the apartment and the total lack of non-complaining from Andrew forced Buffy and Pike to go out for food. They had stopped at a huge shop called Coden's and proceeded to stock up on food that Andrew mostly hated, to spite him for forcing them up this early. When they had finally felt guilty for this, Buffy paid a quick visit to the dairy Aisle to pick up some of his favourite yoghurt. Pike was right behind her, gently nudging her with the trolley and laughing as she searched. She turned round to slap him playfully when she got a familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach.A tingly,warm feeling that she hadn't felt for ages. Then she blinked and looked past Pike and seen him.

Angel. He looked no different to the last time she had seen him. He was examining cheese -Edam- before he paused and looked up and saw her. For a moment they stood, gaping at each other.Then a beautiful short haired blonde women sauntered over to him, pecking him on the cheek and failing to discreetly lick his chin.

"Found it, honey!" She announced in a sugared voice and dropped an armful of tubs and jars into the cart.

Several tubs of Cookie Dough Fudge Mint Chip Ice Cream.

At least 3 jars of Peanut Butter Crunchy (Because some sad moron up their who decided these things thought it wouldn't hurt as much if it was smooth).

A can of whipped cream.

And that wasn't the only shock.As Cordelia obliviously reached up to caress his face, giving poor Buffy a perfect view of the huge diamond on her ring finger.

She couldn't run, not even to escape the terrible events that were unrolling around her.

"Buffy? Y'okay?" Pike looked puzzled, then turned to follow her gaze," Do you know that guy?"

"Let's just go,"Buffy murmured and seeing how upset she was, Pike didn't ask questions.

But just as they were backing out of the aisle, Pike clumsily crashed the trolley loudly into one of the fridges in the aisle. A second or so later, they heard a loud screech.

"BUFFY!"

Buffy gritted her teeth as she felt herself swept up into a huge, scented hug. She watched over her shoulder as Angel reluctantly pushed the trolley over.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HERE!" Cordelia exclaimed,"Here! In a supermarket! Beats graveyards, I can tell ya that!" Angel was at her shoulder and looking anywhere but at her.

" Escape averted," She heard Pike whisper from beside her, so that only she could hear," My fault, I'm sorry."

"And who is this?" Cordelia pounced and Pike found himself being examined thoroughly. Despite the fact that her heart had just broken into about ten separate shards,she couldn't restrain a smile at the totally fake smile on her friends face.

"He's gorgeous. I completely approve ! And well, I know you approve of my man!" She bit her lip.Angel stared at the floor.

"I'm so sorry! I forgot how hard this would be, but I knew you'd have to know eventually.See,"She pulled Angel towards her and smiled sweetly," We're engaged."

"I-I could tell," Buffy forced herself to grin as Cordelia forced her hand in her face.

"Okay, listen- we have to have dinner together,right now. Forget the shopping, lets just go,we have so much catching up to do!"

"N-no,really thats-"Buffy stammered but it seemed no wasn't even an option. Cordelia marched her the three others out of the store and made plans to dine at the Shellfish just three doors down.

They walked along the pavement, Buffy and Pike lagging back as Angel and Cordelia walked ahead.

"How much do you not want to be here?" Pike muttered quietly.

"A lot," Buffy swallowed as he squeezed her arm.He reached into Buffy's bag for her phone, dialled his own number then hurriedly threw it back.Sure enough,a second later, his own cell phone began to ring and the group stopped as he pulled it out and answered.

A minute or two later, he ended the call and smiled apologetically.

" I am so sorry, you guys, but my, er, Uncle just called.

"Oh my god, I'd love to meet your uncle!" Cordy exclaimed.

"Er no,sorry. I totally forgot we agreed to have lunch with him, did you?"

"Oh-oh yeah,"Buffy had never been more thankful of an escape," We should go 'cos we need to change."She smiled weakly at the two others."Sorry."

"Look,here's my number. Call me ASAP, Buffy. We can meet up and talk."

"Thanks,"Buffy really felt sick now as Pike said his goodbyes and led her to his car

So today I got a call and three guesses who it was. I guess she got my number from work. Wolfram and Hart must have all kinds of info on people.

She invited me to the wedding. It's the month after next, on her birthday. She hasn't changed. As much as I wanted to think that she looked terrible, I couldn't because she didn't.

I'm still having dreams about Angel. He wouldn't even look at me.How could he?When I last saw him, it had been after Sunnydale collapsed,when I visited him.He said he understood why now wasn't a good time. He promised he'd wait, for no matter how long.

I bet he waited like ten minutes before moving on to Cordy. Even-even if I didn't love him,even if we were just friends,he should have told me. He's ENGAGED,that changes his whole life.

There's another thing he didn't tell me.His LIFE. How is he mortal?He looked so good in the sunlight-

No.No,no,no,no. I need to not love him. According to Cordy, we're going to all be seing a lot of each other. Thank God Pike spared me from the possibilty of a horrible dinner. Speaking of him, Cordelia seems to think there's something going on between us.

I mean, I love Pike. But I don't LOVE him.

Not like I love Angel.

Buffy.