I'm leaving now
"I'm leaving now, Daddy will be fine, don't you worry" Blaine Andersen reassured his little girl with some kind words and a kiss on the forehead as he was wheeled into the radiology department. "I'll be back in a minute, Kurty" He whispered into his husband's neck, able to stop the brave father facade with him. Kurt nodded. He stared into Blaine's eyes, where he could see his reflection and his world crumbling around it. "I know you're not fine, chemo's painful" Kurt knew all too well how painful it was, judging by his experience with the same type of leukaemia when he was 7. Blaine just nodded, silently wringing his hands. "Eva doesn't have to know that it hurts, she just needs to know that it's making her daddy better" Blaine's words caught in his throat as he swallowed the tears down with the realisation that he was probably not going to be okay. He would be able to walk his little girl down the aisle, he wouldn't be able to come to the door of any guy who upset her (with a shotgun) and he wouldn't be able to tell Kurt not to turn up with a shotgun if it wasn't quite necessary. "Good luck Daddy!" Eva squealed. Blaine couldn't answer he could only nod.
"Dada, when is Daddy waking up?" Kurt smiled at the way Eva called him 'Dada' and Blaine 'Daddy'. He chuckled and combed her soft, black hair with his fingers. "When he's done sleeping, silly!" He joked, bouncing her lightly on his knee. It had all happened so quickly. They were both 26 and they already were married and setting up their family. But it was being torn away from them by Blaine's illness. "Daddy has very beautiful eyes, doesn't he?" Eva stated as if she was proud. Kurt smiled sadly and sighed. "Yes, yes he does" He answered absent-mindedly as he continued to toy with her hair. "Is that why you are in love with him? His eyes?" She asked. She seemed so mature even when she said the most innocent, childlike things. "Among other things, yes...the eyes did help." A small laugh came from an exhausted looking Blaine, who although the conversation was about him, his presence had been overlooked. "Baby, you're awake" Kurt sounded relieved. He had gotten used to the looming possibility of Blaine not waking up when he fell asleep. "Daddy!" Eva exclaimed as she jumped onto the bed next to her father. "Hey little princess, how ya' doing?" Blaine croaked out hoarsely, trying to sound happy and strong, solidifying it with kiss. "I'm fine...don't go back to sleep, okay?" Blaine giggled, mulling over the request, theatrically stroking his chin as if he was deciding whether or not to invest in a business. "I guess I could try" He finally said, beaming. Kurt felt the sting in his eyes, watching his two favourite people in world happy together. "Dada! Sit." Eva ordered bouncily, gesturing to the seat next to the bed. Kurt had sometimes wondered if Eva understood the magnitude of Blaine's illness. He had doubted it greatly until one night, a night that still froze his memory and shattered it; she looked up at him with tears in her eyes and sobbed: "Is Daddy going to die soon?" Kurt had said no, and cuddled her close so she couldn't see his tears.
The phone call came in the middle of the night. The nurse had said that Blaine had taken a turn for the worse and that he was no longer responding to medication. Kurt had taken Eva, still in her nightclothes, to the hospital in his old Navigator that he had had since high school.
"Honey?" Kurt approached the bed where Blaine was lying, weary of the tubes that came out of his nose and wrists. Eva was asleep over his shoulder, this Kurt was thankful for. Blaine said nothing, just smiled and did a thumbs-up sign. Kurt put Eva down on the little faux leather couch and came over to his side. Blaine's hair hadn't fallen out much, it had hardly even thinned. His chemo had started too late to have much effect. "Kurt" Blaine whispered huskily. Kurt nodded, biting down on his lip. "That's my girl over there, my special baby girl" Kurt nodded. "You and Cooper please look after her; tell her I'm safe, she needs you because I don't have much left." His words already had Kurt sobbing. Eva would want to know why, and if she was ever going to see him again. "Give her this; tell her it's from an angel." Blaine handed Kurt the note:
Dear Eva,
Don't worry, your Daddy's up here with us. He's watching you all the time, keeping you and Dada safe. Uncle Coop needs to know this too so if you could tell him this, it would be lovely. Your Daddy didn't mean to leave; he just had to because he was sick. But he loves you, even when he's not there.
The Angels xx
Kurt's tears soaked through his sleeve as he went over to the couch and picked up Eva. He bought her over and sat down nest to Blaine. "Can you put my hand on her head?" Blaine asked. Kurt lifted Blaine's hand gently and put on Eva's head. "Special little girl" he whispered.
Eva held her father's hand as the nurse prepared to turn off the life support machine. "Daddy, why do you have to go?" she sobbed. Tears ran down Blaine's cheeks as he shook his head. "I'm leaving now, Daddy will be fine, don't you worry."