DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters used in this story.

BETA: The wonderful and fabulous LynetteCullen. Thanks for everything.

WARNINGS: Strong language and sexual content.

I couldn't believe it. I was headed to the state track meet. This was all I had dreamed about since joining the track team earlier this year. Now granted, I was just an alternate runner and would only be needed if someone got hurt, but I was still going, and that's all that mattered.

I was pulled from my thoughts when my best friend Rose sat down beside me. "You excited?" she asked sarcastically. "You aren't thinking about doing anything down there are you?" she inquired, following my gaze across the cafeteria. "He's bad news. You need to stay away from him Bella," she warned just as the first bell for class rang

"Okay Rose," I said as I quickly stood up from the table and left the cafeteria. I couldn't be late for Biology again, or I'd surely get written up. A track star can't have that on her record can she?

I was just rounding the corner to the science building when I heard an all to familiar voice call my name. "Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked in that amazingly deep, sexy voice. I knew I really should have said no, but I couldn't resist Emmett.

"Of course you can talk to me," I said in my sexiest voice, which I have to admit, wasn't that sexy. "What can I do for you?"

"You can do a lot for me," he looked me up and down. "You're going to state aren't you?" I nodded. "Maybe we could get into something," he winked. OMG I can't believe this is happening. Emmett is freaking saying that we should sleep together.

"Maybe so," I mumbled as I tried to hide the tell-tale blush on my cheeks.

"See you angel," he winked once again before he walked off in the direction that he had come.

I went through the rest of the day in a fog. I vaguely remember walking into Biology just as the late bell rang. I have to be honest, after talking to Emmett, I didn't give a damn about school or anything else.

I had butterflies in my stomach the size of Texas as I called Rose. Just the thought of sleeping with Emmett was making me want to turn back flips.

"What do you want?" she answered. That's Rose for you. Always cheerful and peppy.

"I have to tell you what happened earlier," I exclaimed, barely able to keep this to myself any longer. She was just about to speak, but I beat her to the punch. "Emmett wants to sleep with me at state," I screamed happily as I flopped onto my bed.

"Don't do it," she answered simply. I couldn't believe my fucking ears. This was the happiest time of my life and she tells me not to do it? The nerve of her. I do whatever the hell I want, when I want. "If you do this, Emmett will do nothing but brag to everyone at school that he took your virginity," she said. What if I wanted Emmett to take my virginity? I was sick and fucking tired of my friends calling me a baby because I had never had sex.

"But Rooossseee, I really, really like him, and I'm going to do this," I replied stubbornly. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, is going to stop me from doing this.

"Fine. Do whatever the fuck you want," she retorted, and hung up the phone.

"Love you too," I said aloud and cut off my lamp and went to sleep.

Today was the day. The day we left for the state track meet. I was practically quivering with excitement.

I was having trouble getting my duffel bag into the overhead compartment of the bus when a pair of large, rather familiar arms gave me an assist. "Allow me dear," he whispered into my ear as he easily got the bag into the compartment. "Mind if I sit by you?" he asked sweetly after I sat down.

"No I don't mind. Have a seat," I blushed a deep red as he sat by me. "Are you excited about the track meet? But then again, why would you be? You're awesome," I could feel myself rambling, but for some reason, I just couldn't stop. "And then you do this all the time an-" he kissed me. Oh my fucking God. HE KISSED ME.

"You're hot when you're nervous," he mumbled into the kiss. I still couldn't believe that this was happening. Emmett was fucking kissing me. It was like I had fallen asleep and was going to wake up at any moment. "When we get settled at the hotel, wanna come to my room?" he asked dreamily. Was he trying to play some kind of sick joke? "Well?" he questioned after I hadn't answered.

All I could do was nod as he kissed me again.

'This can't be real. He can't be real.'

I was still in a daze when we checked into the hotel. I still couldn't believe this was happening. I made out with Emmett. That has a nice ring to it. I couldn't wait to tell Rose.

"Bella. You'll be rooming with Kaitlyn in Room 203," announced Coach Smith. I stopped listening after this.

All I cared about as I walked to my room was Emmett. He was all I seemed to care about lately, but there was still that shred of doubt in the back of my mind. What if Rose was right? What if he did just want to take my virginity so he could brag? But he wouldn't do that would he? Of course not, he's sweet and considerate.

"You think you'll get a chance to run in an event?" Kait snapped me from my thoughts. "I'd love to be an alternate. Knowing that I'm not in the forefront, that I'm just backup," she said sarcastically. I never really liked Kaitlyn because she was a stupid bitch, but even she couldn't spoil my awesome mood.

"Whatever Kait, that doesn't change the fact that I'm here, and you never know, you may be the bitch I end up replacing tomorrow," I said sweetly as I walked into the bathroom to take a shower. "Night, night," I said as I closed the door.

'Damn that felt good.'

I woke up the next day still feeling good. I felt like I could run a race, which was good seeing as how I was at the state track meet. I felt even better when I got on the bus to see that Emmett had saved me a seat next to him.

"You excited?" I asked as I sat down. He looked amazing. I'd never seen anyone take a regular black track suit, and make it look spectacular. And that smile. Every time he smiled at me, I wanted to melt into his arms.

"I guess I'm excited," he drawled. "But I think I'm a lot more excited about tonight. You still down?"

'Is he kidding?'

"Yeah I'm still down. Wait. Where are we gonna do this? Aren't you rooming with Chauncey?" I inquired. I hadn't put much thought into where we were gonna have sex.

"Don't worry. He has plans of his own. It'll just be you and me," he reassured me with a kiss.

'I just can't get used to that.'

All of the track and field events went by in a blur. Turns out, I didn't get a chance to run, but oh well. That's the life of an alternate.

We did pretty well. Everyone got a gold or silver medal for the event. I was especially happy when Emmett got his gold medal for the long jumps. He winked at me when he was on stage.

'That's my man.'

I still couldn't believe that this was going to happen. I was going to lose my virginity to the hottest guy in existence. TONIGHT! What should I wear? Does it even matter?

'If things go well, I won't be wearing any clothes at all,' I thought wryly on our way back to the hotel. This was going to be great.

"Bells," I heard that all to familiar voice call out. I looked up from my book just in time to see Emmett and his friend Edward approach the pool. I'd had to come out here after we got back because Kaitlyn had some random guy she met in our room. "Want some?" he asked as he pulled a bottle of Tequila out of his duffel bag and popped the top.

I'd never had anything alcoholic in my life. But I didn't want to seem uncool, so I said, "Of course," as he passed me the bottle.

'God don't let this be disgusting,' I thought as I took a small sip just to test it. It wasn't the worst thing I had tasted, but it wasn't delicious either. So I kept drinking, and drinking, and drinking,

I vaguely remember hearing Emmett say, "This was easier than I thought it would be." as the world went black.

I started to come around just as Emmett laid me down on his bed. "What's going on?" I managed to mumble in what I hoped was his direction. This was not how I had imagined this.

"I thought this was what you wanted," he said sarcastically as he removed my shirt and bra. From across the bed, I heard Edward chuckle. What the fuck was he doing here? I didn't realize this came out until he answered. "We're both gonna do this thing. Hope you don't mind," he laughed darkly as he pulled me up by my hair, which hurt like hell.

I heard a zipper and shuffling. "Suck," he commanded as he pushed me down on his rather large cock, and began thrusting. I had never done this before, so I didn't know to breathe through my nose, and choked immediately. It was like someone shoving their arm down my throat. "Awwe fuck," he groaned.

He abruptly pushed me off of him. "Now it's time for the main event," he smiled rather sadistically. "Edward, hand me the condoms…On second thought, don't. I wanna enjoy this," he flashed those white teeth that all of a sudden weren't so beautiful anymore. I tried to speak, but at this point, I was so far gone that I really couldn't think.

"Are you enjoying this as much as I am?" he asked as he crawled on top of me. "This will only hurt a lot," he flashes me a twisted grin as he pushes in.

"Fuck," we yell simultaneously, but for completely different reasons. He cries out in pleasure, as I cry out in pain. This is the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life. It feels like I'm being split in two.

I continue to cry out in pain as he continues his tortuously fast and hard pace. "Please stop," I manage to gasp out. "Please," I scream out as the tears start to fall.

But he only laughs. "Don't cry now Bells. I thought this was how you wanted it," he says as he bites down on my collar bone. "Besides, I'm enjoying this way to much," he proclaims as he continues to pound into me. "I've never done a virgin before you. Congrats on being the first. AWWE," he groans as he comes. The sick fuck. At least it's over. "Your turn man," he tells Edward.

He and Edward quickly trade spots. "Hope you're ready," he whispers as he pushes in. It was just as agonizing as when Emmett did it, but for some reason, it was different with Edward. His thrusts were a little more caring, almost loving, or maybe it was the booze that was fucking with my mind.

"Oh fuck," I moaned. The pain was beginning to subside, and it was starting to feel good. "Uhhh."

"Why didn't you do that when I was fucking you?" Emmett asked sardonically from his spot on the corner of the bed.

Edward was just about to say something when the door flew open. "Let me just grab m-" Chauncey began as he walked in. "Oh. Sorry to interrupt," he said as he and 4 of his friends left.

This is what I was afraid of. This whole situation getting out. Rose tried to warned me, but I didn't listen.

"I have to go," I told Edward as I pushed him off of me and gingerly got off of the bed. The pain was more prominent in my hips and legs now, so it was hard for me to get my clothes quickly, but I somehow managed.

"What's the rush?" Emmett drawled, still lying nude on the bed. "People already know, so why not finish?" he chuckled.

"Fuck you," I screamed as I stumbled out of the room.

'What the fuck did I just do?' I thought as I rushed down the hall to my room.

"Please pick up. Please pick up," I mumbled aloud. There was only one person I could tell about this, and I hoped to God that she was home.

"Hello," said a familiar sarcastic voice. "What is it Bella? I'm about to go to bed." I know that she's still mad at me for not taking her advice. Well she was about to be even madder.

"Rose I fucked up," I began. "I had sex with Emmett…and Edward," I finished.

"What? I don't think I heard you correctly. Could you repeat that?" she said, completely stunned.

"I slept with Emmett and Edward. And then Chauncey and his friends walked in and saw us," I was beginning to sniffle. "Rose, the whole school is gonna know," I completely broke down.

"Bella I told you not to do this," she commenced. I could tell that she was grappling for something to say. "I don't know what to say other than I'm here for you. I wish I had some advice on this topic, but I've never been through this. Why didn't you listen?" she was suddenly angry. "Now I look like a bad friend because I have nothing to say on this subject."

"Rose this isn't your fault. I fucked up, and now I have to live with the consequences. I'll see you when I get back," I quickly hung up the phone, to ashamed to let her see me cry.

I did a lot of thinking that night. About how this was gonna affect my life. How this was gonna make people see me. I wish I could take it all back, or at least pretend that it was a bad dream. I've done a lot of stupid shit, but never anything this life shattering.

I went through the rest of the weekend in a daze. I noticed people staring at me when they thought I wasn't looking. I heard the whispers and the snickers, but I just couldn't bring myself to say anything. I couldn't of said anything anyway. What they were saying was true. I wanted nothing more than to go back to 2 days ago. Back to when I was happy.

Now I'm nothing more than a shell of my former self. I hurt the people that I once loved and trusted to hide the pain. I don't even talk to Rose anymore. She was the only person I could confide in, but I fucked up that relationship because I was mad. Not at her, but myself.

If I had a genie, I know what three things I'd wish for. I'd wish that I could take it all back, but I know I can't. I'd wish I wasn't pregnant, but I know I still am. I'd wish I knew who the father was, but I know I never will. You don't get second chances and wishes in life, and I learned that the hard way.

I closed my journal and turned off the TV I wasn't really watching. I rolled over and turned off the light.

'Maybe it is just a dream,' I thought as I rolled back over. I know it's not. When I wake up, I'll be waking to the same hell that has become my life.

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