Summary- After this they will call me a murderer except I took my own life not someone else's AU

Author's Note- I needed to write something some what dark cause I just lost my grandmother on Sunday I felt like I needed to write something like this or I would explode… so I came up with this it is written in diary form and most of the characters will have a say

Disclaimer- I don't own anything except the plot

Dear Journal,

After today they will call me a murderer. Except I didn't kill someone I only killed myself. After today Ellie Nash will be no more. I know were to cut I know how to cut, I have traced the veins on my arm I feel ready I feel scared. Today I will make a decision that will end my life. No one will care about little Ellie Nash. No one will go to her funeral or her grave. No one would care enough to see my body after I am dead when that's all I am a body. Not even him. He called me earlier today a few minutes before I started writing in here. I can remember our conversation to the T. The exact words…

" Hello?" I said into the phone

" Ellie?" The person on the other line said. I shivered. It couldn't be him I didn't want it to be him but I knew it was.

" Sssean?" I stuttered

" El. Hey." Hey that's it that's all you can say I wanted to scream and yell tell him how I still loved him but I couldn't force the words out. Tears fell down my cheeks in two thick streams and all I could manage to say was

"You left."

" I know and I am so sorry… El are you crying?" that's when the thought suicide came into my head the only solution. I knew that was a stupid thought I knew there were others ways.

" Know it's my turn." I said instantly regretting it. I heard moving on the other end and quickly hung up the phone. He was coming now. Probably calling Marco or Ash or Paige.

Shit

He's coming that doesn't give me that much time

When my name is in the paper Reveal why I killed myself maybe kids decades away can use it as a joke. Love me or I'll kill myself like Ellie Nash did. At least then everyone will know my name.

So consider this my suicide note. And my apology Marco Ash I really am truly sorry I didn't want this to end this way but I had nothing left

Yours Truly,

Ellie Nash