Dude Looks Like a Lady, a harry potter fanfic

This is a request for sickcows! Hope you all enjoy it...first fic I've written like this in a VERY long time, so bear with me! :) (and for my followers, please bear with the fact that I haven't updated in way too long...I promise I'll get to that soon.) Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, which belongs to JK Rowling, the song Dude Looks Like a Lady, which belongs to Aerosmith and Geffen Records, or any other recognizable material. :)

(That, that) Dude looks like a lady

Deep in the dungeons of Hogwarts, very, very deep, beneath the deepest usable classroom where the air was thick with gloom and moisture and the walls were glistening with an unknown substance, was held every Friday night a sort of dance club meeting, where students might go to let go after a long week of studying. Hermione rarely came along, not after the first time she went and declared she couldn't stand to be around such rabble-rousers, but Harry and Ron were frequent customers, and with payment being nothing but a bit of gossip about someone in the school that the guard might pass on to others, the two could afford to attend every weekend.

Harry liked to do things at the parties that he didn't usually do during the week - he liked to dance and he liked to flirt with girls and he definitely liked to dance with girls. It was hard to concentrate on things like that during the week when the stress eating him away like maggots was nearly suffocating him, but deep in the dungeons it was easy to forget about all of that and just concentrate on all of the pretty, magical girls that Hogwarts had to offer.

Cruised into a bar on the shore

Her picture graced the grime on the door

She a long lost love at first bite

Baby maybe you're wrong, but you know it's all right

That's right

Harry and Ron, on that Friday night, approached the door with a skip in their step - they both planned to have dates to Hogsmeade by the end of that very night, or the other would have to do the others homework, for the loss of the bet.

They each gave their piece of gossip - Oliver Wood had run off with Luna Lovegood for almost sure and certain, and Pansy was almost undoubtedly pregnant with Blaise Zabini's child - and then began to scope out the room for girls.

It didn't take very long at all for either of them. Ron spotted a girl straight away - a leggy brunette with a promiscuous smile and a tiny dress. And as for Harry - he didn't find his date, but rather, his date found HIM. He'd been looking around not a minute before a familiar looking female made her way to his side and began to dance beside him. Her hair was long and curled slightly and platinum blonde. She was tall and her face seemed very smooth beneath all of the color she had chosen to paint it with. She wore very billowy clothes and not much skin was revealed.

"Can I help you find someone?" She asked in a smooth voice that was so familiar...but Harry just could not place the face.

So he just smiled.

Backstage we're having the time

Of our lives until somebody say

Forgive me if I seem out of line

Then she whipped out her gun

And tried to blow me away

He knew he knew her from somewhere, but he didn't want to waste time thinking about it. He took her by the hand and led her to the dance floor, where he immediately spun in a circle and began dancing with the blonde. Ron sent him and thumbs up, which Harry returned while the blonde had her back to him.

"What do you say we go back there?" Said the blonde with a minx-like grin, taking Harry by the hand and pointing towards an area separated by curtains. Harry knew what people did back there, and although he was nervous, this blonde girl really was hot and he really needed to let go, so he let her take him in the back.

She continued to dance while they were back there and at some point she had shoved Harry to the floor and was putting on a show for him. Harry felt awkward and didn't know what to do with his hands, but when the dress went off, all thought left his mind except that he knew who this girl was.

(That, that) Dude looks like a lady

Harry stood up and sprinted out of the room, Malfoy calling to him to come back in his girl-voice, but Harry didn't listen.

So never judge a book by it's cover

Or who you're going to love by your lover

Love put me wise to her love in disguise

She had the body of a venus

Lord imagine my surprise

The next morning Harry had a bright red face all through breakfast, especially because Malfoy kept making eyebrows at him whenever he was certain no one else was looking and because Ron had told practically everyone that Harry's date had been a man. Harry hadn't mentioned who exactly the man had been - he wasn't sure why. This could have been his moment to ruin Malfoy. But - he wasn't sure why - he was certain that it would be far more embarrassing to himself for others to know he had thought MALFOY was a pretty girl.

(That, that) Dude looks like a lady

"Serves your right," Hermione said, her nose turned up and her eyes on her book. "You shouldn't be going to places like that, Harry. You should have been studying. Or trying to figure out what's going on with your scar. NOT doing strange things with transvestites."

There was a roar of laughter from all of the boys, who continued to taunt Harry.

Baby let me follow you down

Let me take a peek dear

Baby let me follow you down

Do me, do me, do me all night

Baby let me follow you down

Turn the other cheek dear

Baby let me follow you down

Do me, do me, do me, do me

The more Harry thought about his night at the club, the more Harry couldn't stop about how pretty aloft had looked. It was strange and the thoughts were unwanted but he couldn't control them and he couldn't deny them, no matter how hard he tried to.

He couldn't help it.

Ooh what a funky lady

She like it, like it, like it, like that,

Ooh he was a lady

The next Friday night, while Ron was with his new girlfriend, Sandy, Harry found himself back at the club.

He searched for a familiar face, and quickly found it.

"Back for more?" Said the blonde.

Harry grinned.

(That, that) Dude looks like a lady

Dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a lady

(That that) ya ya ya yya ya yya ya chit chit yaow

(That, that)

[Repeat and fade]