Note: Gee… I've been working on this for about a year, and never thought of posting it. I'm glad I've saved it; it's a fun filk. Kind of… strange, actually. It jumps around the story a bit; goes ending-beginning-skip most of the middle-ending. But hey, that doesn't matter. IT RHYMES! Go me!
I don't know what else to say. Extreme Suboshi fans and haters, please take this with a grain of salt. It's all in good fun!
By the way, it's Suboshi singing, mostly to Yui. Yes, he SINGS! And RHYMES! YAY!
(coughs) Now that that's been said, I'll stop talking.
*
Suboshi Pie
By Evil Hunter
To the tune of Don McClean's awesome and amazing American Pie
*
Not a short while ago,
Bet you don't remember how,
Your smile used to make me melt...
And I knew if I had my way,
You'd be happy everyday,
And you would know exactly how I felt...
But then my weapon sliced my back,
My mind was gone; my corpse went slack,
You just stood and watched,
I knew my task was botched.
I can't remember if you lied,
About being sad, or even cried,
It hurt so bad, I couldn't hide,
And then I went and died...
So,
Bye, bye, dark war stricken hell,
Can't believe no one was crying when I died, when I fell,
It hurt so bad, I bet no soul could tell,
And I even came right out of a shell,
For her I came right out of a shell...
Flashback back to some months ago,
When you I'd follow, to and fro,
Every single place you went,
You were so strange when we first met,
You seemed the worst that you could get,
And on trivial missions I was sent.
Well I guessed that 'oni' left you sad,
He must've been a nut or have been mad,
To leave you in that state,
That jerk wasn't really that great.
I was a lonely teen with a lousy job,
I was part of a Chinese dragon mob,
And when killing kids I was a real slob,
Oh, and their old man too.
Oni was screaming,
"Die, die, you're gonna be so dead,
You attacked small children and a guy in a bed, [1]
When you're good and gone there'll be a pike in your head,"
Yeah, this Seishi was seeing bright red,
This Seishi was glowing bright red…
It was close to over when I was saved,
By a foreign lightening throwing babe,
In some mysterious attire,
When she brought me back, you were not amused
Seems killing kids is not good news
I felt the situation was quite dire.
Then I learned my brother wasn't really gone,
I thought, "Oops, guess the stuff I did was wrong,
"But I just won't admit,
"Besides, Red'd throw a fit."
I tried to warn you of the blond guy's plot,
But listen to me you would not,
So I guess we'll all just scream and rot,
Nakago will have his way,
And we'll be screaming,
'Oh, no, not another god,
I supposed he'll try to whip us with a ten-inch rod,
His Seishi will kill us if he gives them a nod,
Every girl will try to get at his bod,
Except for those who really aren't odd.'
(Like Yui-sama!)
The rest of the group was just plain nuts,
With their hairy heads and make-ups,
… And the pedophile monk. (shudders)
They'd just show and they were dead
Ashitare was killed through whipped bloodshed
Tomo was a nasty piece of junk.
So in the end we were only three,
How could we help out in the ceremony?
Yui called Seiryuu somehow, though,
(It was the help from both Shinzaho!)
And so Suzaku lost his winning team,
And once again we were all mean,
Soi hurt the doc and he was glowing green,
But then, Yui-sama was gone!
I started wailing,
"Come back, cause I miss you so,
In our months together never thought you would go,
But now that you're gone I'll find a way to Tokyo,
I bet I could ask good ol' Nakago,
He has a way, I just kinda know…"
So there I was suddenly in this place
Defying laws of time and space
To protect and serve my Yui
She sent me off to kill Tama-boy
So I went with vicious joy
Thinking he would come out as chopped Sui.
I found him, he jumped to his feet
I raced him 'round the busy street
Police nor Suzaku
Could stop what I would do!
But as I threw the winning score
Tama jumped and I was sore
Suddenly breathing was a real chore
I knew it was my time.
I started seeing,
The kids that I'd send to their death
The little ones were holding me with all of their breath
"Stop it! Let go!" It was my new shibboleth,
Ryuseisui made an isopleth
Through my gut like top of a snathe. [2]
I met a guy who ran me through,
And figured I had just a few
Moments left to say good bye
And last came my words to my bro,
About my love for my Miko,
And how I thought of her when I might die.
So now I'm gone, and I'll never near,
Except to save Yui from The Queer,
My brother, me, won't miss,
(I sealed that with a kiss!)
With the things I had to live for spent,
I just let go and simply went,
My body's time was up for rent,
And now I'm singing... dead.
I'm now stuck singing,
Bye, bye, weird mysterious play,
My story's gone to be saved for another day,
I'll miss ryuseisui, (but I won't miss That Gay,) [3]
I guess that this is how I finally pay.
This is how I finally pay…
So I'm singing,
Bye, bye, weird mysterious play,
My story's gone to be saved for another day,
I'll miss ryuseisui, (but I won't miss That Gay,)
I guess that this is how I finally pay.
*
1: I know he wasn't sick at the time, but… bah!
2: Thank god for Rhyming Dictionaries! Since I hardly have an idea what those words mean, I've put them down. For YOU. Shibboleth, a favorite saying of a sect or political group. Isopleth, a line drawn on a map connecting two points. Snathe, the handle of a scythe; a snead.
3: Referring, of course, to Tomo, not Nuriko.
(hangs head in shame) There are some parts of this that I'm so sorry I put in, and other parts and wanted and couldn't put in. I wanted to put in a seventh part, to explain the whole Tomo encounter, but I decided against it. It's long enough as it is! GAH! This will haunt me forever…
(coughs) So anyway, that was Suboshi Pie. You've read the story, now tell the author what an idiot she is. Review!