This Year's Love

A Sean/Ellie one-shot. Based on the song "This Year's Love" by David Gray.

This years love had better last
Heaven knows it's high time
And I've been waiting on my own too long

They were standing in his room not saying anything. She had snuck over and knocked on his door with tears streaming down her face. When he saw her, he gathered her in his arms and let her cry into his chest. She was doing it again, he knew that and he was trying his best to help her stop. Now they were just standing there staring at each other, their only source of light was the full moon. He gently wiped her tears away as he picked up her right arm and lifted up the sleeve. She closed her eyes. She didn't want to do it, but she had to. She couldn't stop. He frowned at the fresh cuts and ran his fingers slightly over them and she winced.

"Sean…" she said quietly. He blew cool air into one of the cuts, hoping to soothe the pain.

"Why?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"I… I can't stop," she said as she choked out a sob. Sean kissed the cut.

"Ellie, this isn't solving your problems, it's making it worse." She nodded. Cutting herself wasn't going to make her mom stop drinking and abusing her.

"I want it to go away," she said.

"What?"

"The pain," she replied as fresh tears gathered at the brims of her big brown eyes, threatening to fall. Sean brushed his thumb against her cheek and kissed her softly.

But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can't go on

Ellie wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with all of her heart. She loved Sean very much and knew he was the only one who truly loved her back. The kiss was passionate and long, leaving them both breathless. Sean leaned his forehead against Ellie's and looked into her eyes. They were glazed over with love and lust.

"I wanna make love to you Ellie," he whispered. She bit her bottom lip and held in her breath. Her mind was racing with a thousand thoughts a second. The biggest concern she had was "Am I ready?" She slowly exhaled.

"Sean I…"

"It's OK Ellie. We don't have to. I can wait as long as you want," he said. Ellie shook her

head.

Turning circles when time again
It cuts like a knife oh yeah
If you love me got to know for sure

"No, I'm ready," she replied quietly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I want this Sean. I want you," she said. She smiled and he kissed her while leading her over to his bed. The back of her knees hit the mattress and he gently laid her down before climbing on top of her. Ellie broke away from the kiss to take a breath.

"Um, is it gonna hurt?" she asked, embarrassed. Sean lightly smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Yes. Just stay relaxed and the pain will slowly ease. I promise." Ellie's eyes widened a little. It was going to hurt. Now she began to get nervous. Then she looked down at her right arm.

Cos it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies
Before I open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul

'If I can handle a razorblade, I can handle this,' she thought. She kissed Sean again before pulling his t-shirt over his head and running her small hands along his smooth chest. He moved his kisses from her lips to her neck and began to lovingly suck and nibble on the sensitive flesh behind her ear. She groaned in pleasure and grinded her hips involuntarily against Sean's. He let out a hiss and pulled Ellie's shirt off, attacking her collarbone and chest with his mouth. Ellie squeaked at his quick movements and shivered as he lightly ran his finger tips up her side. She had never been touched like that before, let alone allow a guy to see her without a shirt on. She trusted Sean and knew he would never intentionally hurt her. He reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. Once the black lace was out of the way, Sean kissed and sucked on her breasts while she writhed in pleasure beneath him. There was no turning back now that she had surrendered to his touch. He was making her feel so good and she never wanted him to stop. With trembling hands, she reached in between them and unbuttoned his jeans and pulled the zipper down. Sean kicked off the rough denim material before snaking his way past her stomach and pulling her sweatpants off. Ellie was suddenly getting very nervous and her legs started to shake. She couldn't help being scared since it was her first time, but she also wondered if Sean was scared.

And when you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet
This years love had better last
This years love had better last

"Sean, are you scared?" she asked. He stopped kissing her stomach and looked up at her.

"Yes," he said.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you," he replied. She nodded.

"I'm terrified," she said.

"I know, but I don't want you to be." He started kissing her stomach again and hooked his fingers around the hip of her panties. He pulled them off slowly and Ellie's thighs closed tightly, like a vise.

"El relax," he said while he gently rubbed the top of her legs. She was shaking a lot more noticeably now as Sean coaxed her legs apart. This was the part she was dreading. He was looking at her naked body with awe. She was so beautiful and angelic, yet at the same time small and fragile. She closed her eyes tightly while his eyes skimmed over her petite figure and she waited for him to tell her to put her clothes back on because she was disgusting and didn't deserve him.

So whose to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on

"You're so beautiful Ellie Nash," he said as he ran his hand up her thigh towards her mound. He ran his index finger along her slick folds and she let out a moan. He pushed his finger into her and she gasped at the twinge of pain mixed with pleasure. Her walls gripped his finger and pulled him into her easily.

"Oh Sean!" She exclaimed as quietly as she could.

"Shhh, enjoy it," he whispered as he rubbed her clit with his thumb. Soon she was thrusting into his hand and calling out his name. He knew she was close and he sent her over the edge with a little bit more pressure on her clit. Stars exploded in front of her eyes and she squeezed his finger even harder with her walls. Sean pulled his finger out and quickly pulled off his boxers. After she came down from her high, Sean was leaning over her, kissing her and whispering how beautiful she was in her ear.

And won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

"I love you so much Ellie."

"I love you too Sean," she replied and kissed him.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked again.

"Yes, I'm ready," she said. Sean positioned himself over her and began to push. She felt a lot of pressure, but no pain yet. Once he got inside of her, her face scrunched up and she closed her eyes.

"I'm gonna push it all in at once and have you adjust to me that way. Open your eyes," he said. She slowly opened them and looked into his crystal blue ones. "Just try and relax," he added. Ellie took a deep breath as Sean pulled back and plunged all the way into her hard. She let out a yelp and tears fell from her eyes as he broke through her virgin barrier, causing a warm liquid to pour out of her.

"SEAN!" She cried out, her body resisting and trying to pull away.

"Ellie calm down. It's OK it's just blood. There's nothing to worry about I promise. Now please calm down because you're making it hurt even more," he said calmly.

'Look at him! He's so mellow! THIS HURTS SO MUCH WORSE THAN CUTTING!' She thought to herself. Ellie tried her best to lie still and think of something that could help her relax. After a couple of minutes, her crying reduced to a soft whimper and she was calming down a lot.

"Are you all right?" he asked, his voice no higher than a whisper. She hesitantly nodded and he began to move in and out, her whimpers becoming a little louder.

"Sh it's OK El. You're OK," he said. The pain eased to a dull ache and she began to feel pleasure. She was soon meeting him thrust for thrust as he moved faster, in an out of her.

"You feel so good," Sean mumbled, pleasure written all over his face. She was s tight and wet; it took all of his self control not to come right that moment. They were panting and moving their bodies together. Their lovemaking would look absolutely beautiful to anyone who would have witnessed it. About a half hour later, they both came, screaming out each other's names and he collapsed next to her, holding her in his arms.

"How did it feel?" he asked.

"It hurt for awhile, but towards the end it went away and felt so fantastic. I love you Sean," she said.

"I love you too." She cuddled up to him and they both fell asleep, tangled up in each other.

This years love had better last
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
This years love had better last