Incident Report
Names of Officers: A. Smith (badge 1423), B. Jones (badge 2132)
Date: 12/17/11
Time: 2330
Address: [redacted] Franklin Street, Echo Park
Summary:
Officers received a call from dispatch at 2325 hours regarding an alleged noise ordinance violation. Arrived on scene to hear a woman speaking in raised tones, repeatedly using words like "trust," "wife," "curse," "idiotic," "jackass," and "[name redacted] has more brains than you sometimes." Agitated female, [name redacted], age 29, opened the door and allowed officers entrance, all the while informing that them her husband, [name redacted], age 30, was a repeat offender in "not trusting her," taking off on her when she was "behind him all the way" and then having to "save his bacon. Again." It was noted by Officer Smith that a pillow and a blanket were piled on the sofa.
Male remained silent and looked a bit constipated.
It was ascertained that there had been no physical violence and the dwelling was in good repair, except for the large wooden Indian statue, which officers found a bit tacky.
Officer Smith interviewed female. Found her to be coherent, sober, angry and gorgeous. Officer Smith agreed with everything female said and bit his lip to keep from telling female he would gnaw off a limb if he had to in order to be with a woman like her.
Officer Jones interviewed male. Found him to be sober, whiny and irritating. Still looked constipated. His explanation of his actions regarding his decisions regarding the aforementioned "curse" was rambling and incomprehensible. Officer Jones informed him that by doing what he did when trying to end the curse he nearly continued it. Instructed male to "not lie to his wife, trust her and thank God every day that he's married to a woman like her." Officer then informed husband that he would "walk barefoot over broken glass to be with a woman like her."
Both officers left their cards with the female in case she needed to contact them again, or if the thing with the husband went south and she needed someone to talk to, give either of them a call.
No citations were issued. Male and female promised to lower noise level.
Officers left at 2345 after attempted reconciliation by "eyebrow dancing" husband was rebuffed by wife with an icy stare and a finger pointed at the couch. Only sound heard as officers left through courtyard was a door slamming.