So you think you can pilot

by Demon-of-Unit04

This will tell how hard it is to really be a pilot. What you need to do to become a great pilot is to simply be a crazy lunitic and kill stuff for no reason. THat is what this is about. Its rated M just incase

THE ALL IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS:

I do not own Evangelion, I don't own jack squat I SUCK.

A/N: In case I cant find a way to put it everyone is 16 years old. Until they get to the EVA world
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Phoenix inter-national airport, January 23, 2006 10:29am

"Now boarding airline flight 666 headed strait to hell", teased my friend James as we boarded the plane.

Man I knew letting you watch Final Designation last night was a bad idea.

"Stop complaining Michael beside this might be a chance for us to join the mile high club." said Kelsey as we walked into the plane.

She was wearing a seductive blue and white skirt with a blue tank top on.

"That sounds like a good deal I said" knowing that she most likely joking around.

"Here are our seats," said James

Man we have got to be the luckiest people on earth to go to Las Vegas for free, said James in a loud voice so all the people around could hear

I played along saying, "Yeah it is a good thing we enter the drawing at the mall for these free tickets (emphasizing the word free)." "But we only got second class seats right over the wing."

"You two are Jackasses," scolded Kelsey

Intercom: everyone please fasten your safety belt we are preparing for takeoff.

The plane slowly taxied out onto the runway and then with a whistling sound the engines roared up to full speed sending us shooting down the runway.

Dude this is my favorite part of flying, I said with overwhelming excitement in my voice.

"What part?" asked Kelsey.

"The take off, the sudden boost of acceleration," I told her.

"That's why I am going to join the Air force when I get out of high school."

"Is that all you like about It." ask James

"Yes, is that so wrong." I remarked in a childish way.

"Your willing to go into the Air force and risk your life just to fill the burst of speed," said James trying to point out the obvious

"You know what I'm going to drop a bomb on your house"

"Why don't you just fly Commercial airliners?" wondered James still thinking if I was really thinking of blowing him away.

"Because I don't want to," I said very stubborn like.

"Man your stubborn," said Kelsey

"Who me," I asked knowing she was talking about me.

"Yes I'm talking about you," she said quickly almost biting off my head.

"And that's why your funny" she said "because you're so stubborn."

"Yeah I love you to," I said very sarcasticly as she gave me the glare of impending doom But the important thing is that I love you I said.

"It's a Kodak moment," joked James.

"Shut up, our just mad you don't have a girl." yelled Kelsey

"So, a lest I'm not a slut like you are."

"Fuck you" she said in an evil tone.

well at least I'm not a cock bitting fucktard

"Cut it out you two were in public," I scolded them

"I guess that means you need to punish her," said James with a perverted grin on his face. "On that note I am going to the food area" He said rubbing in stomach. With that he got up and left.

"Yes, punish me I've been a bad girl." said Kelsey in a seductive tone.

As she said that she bent over my lap for me to spank her. Me being me, I tried to get her off of me. I hate weird situations, but as I did that she let out a fake moan, which got all the people around us to look at us like we were about to hve it right there..

About 10min later:

"What the" shouted a shocked Kelsey

"I don't know",I shouted knowing what she meant to say.

Intercom: Everyone please fasten your saftybelts and perpare for some terbulance

I looked out side to see a big ass storm we were about to fly right into.

"This sucks" I said "I need to go to the bathroom"

But befor i could complain any more there was a bright light and a sudden deffening crash

Intercom: please fasten your safety belt and prepare for a crash landing. Said the automated voice. And it was at that time the life support system came online.

When those masks dropped all hell broke lose on the plane people started screaming a baby was crying, "Man I hate babies I though to myself" I felt Kelsey start to grab at me.

"Hold me, I don't want to die" she screamed and grabbed me around the waist.

In return a held her at my chest holding her tightly but in my head I was praying.

'Dear God, If I can get out of this alive I will never ask you for any thing again, I wont ever be bad again I will try and go to church, I will be a good boy I promise.' I thought in my head

"Kelsey" I started to say. Telling her that we were going to die and that I loved her and all that mushy stuff that people say to lovers when they die.

But when she looked at me with tears in her green eyes I just ran my fingers though her soft blonde hair. And tried to comfort her while pushing my own fears away.

I could see the tree line coming closer. Within 2 seconds we were skimming the topes of trees. We were giving the trees a free haircut. But finally the wing gave way to a treetop breaking it off sending us nose first in the trees. The front of the fuselage tore off as if was just meant to brake off. Simultaneously the middle section was shredding around us, which sent people fly while still trapped in their chairs. To a certain doom holy Fuck I screamed.

I looked to see Kelsey for one last time thinking I was going to die.

But she wasn't there. It was at this time I realize I too had been thrown out of the plain. I could see the plane still rolling along the ground like a bottle after it had been shot.

After what seemed like 3 hours and 27 minutes and 32 seconds the adrenalin started to go away and the pain set in I could tell that I had to of my shattered legs and probably broken a couple of ribs they hurt so bad I wanted to cry. I knew I had to look for survivors I tried to get to my feet. But I just couldn't the crash had taken its toll on my body. A few seconds later I past out.

"Ouch my aching head" I said rubbing my head

"It's a shame this happened came a quite voice from behind me". "This all could have been avoided."

" A human life is worth more than this," said the voice.

I turned around to come face to face with a red-eyed blue haired albino girl. Instantly I knew who it was.

"What the hell, how did you get here?"

"I'm here to offer you a new chance."

"Well that's strait to the point." I said joking

"Will you take the offer?"

"What?" I scratched my head trying to figure out what happened.

"Are you implying what I think you are implying?" "I must be hallucinating."

"No, you are not hallucinating and yes I am implying what you think".

"You have wished for a new life."

"No, I haven't." I responded quickly, nearly snapping her head off.

"Why have you written about it then?"

"Huh?" I remarked in an octward tone.

I didn't understand what the fuck she was talking about.

"Running forward with Unit 04 I jumped high, using the momentum to push my feet into the jaw of the first of the EVA series, snapping the top of it's head off with a spray of red blood I lusted for more. Asuka simultaneously charged with Unit 02 crushing the brain of another before lifting it high over her head and snapping it into two halves, drenching Unit 02 in its blood.

"No problem." I grinned as I ran at the next.

With two EVA's combined power there was no way we could lose.

"Your words." Rei said.

"That's just a story. I wanted write because I had nothing better to do." I explained.

"Why did you write about that?"

"I like the show." I answered.

"Why did you write about yourself?"

I thought for a second.

"I wondered what it would be like to pilot an EVA."

Rei nodded. That was what she wanted me to say.

"You have been offered an opportunity to find out what it is like to pilot."

I just kind of stood there think what the hell did I do to deserve this fate.

"Um Rei," I asked "what happens if I don't chose to go with you to the Evangelion dimension do I die or something to that extent."

"No, the rescue team will arrive and declare you as the sole survivor." And no your friends are dead there is nothing I can do for him.

"O," I said meekly. Not wanting to face what is happening.

"So let me get this strait I can stay here and be the sole survivor of a plane crash a have my best friend and girl friend die and tell their families what happened." "But I will still have my family to go back to." "Or I can go with you and pilot EVA and have some fun, but also run the risk of being killed in angel attack and or have my mind ripped to pieces by the EVA its self." "Boy those right there are two great choices." I sarcastically said.

"Take your time in deciding there is no going back if you come with me." "And this chance will never come back again." Rei said in her usual monotone voice.

"This will decide if I go with you or not, will I keep my body." I inquired

Rei took this in and thought.

"You will take the body of someone from the pilot list that died. Do you understand?"

"No" I told her, "but I'll go anyway for shits and giggles."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure" I gave her the thumbs up.

"Just close your eyes."

"One last thing, will I be a girl."

"Why do you not wish to be a girl?" she asked in a tone that could be sarcastic or not I couldn't tell.

"Because I am a guy." I spoke in a shy way not wanting to get into the subject

"If you do not wish to be a girl you will be a guy." Rei softly told me

"Is that a yes or a no."? I thought about it.

Just before I closed my eyes I remembered what I was about to leave behind. "Shits and giggles," I said to my self as I closed my eyes.
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Tokyo 3 NERV hospital February 10, 2015.

I woke up to a sigh coming from a women's voice.

"Damn, he's been out for two months," sighed the voice

"After what happened, its no wonder he didn't die." Remarked another slightly older voice also female.

"I told you getting Unit 04 up and going in a rush was a bad idea Ritsuko."

"I know, but we must follow orders" came the voice I now knew was Ritsuko.

I pretty much knew who the other one was it was good old Misato who was talking to Ritsuko. Then it hit me I know Japanese this made me very happy. I always wanted know Japanese. I wondered if I still knew English and the German I took as a foreign language in high school. If I couldn't talk in English I was going to be pissed. I spent 12 year of school learning it.

I decided to pretend to sleep and try to learn anything I could about myself. Then Misato then decided to sit next to my bed and take watch to see if I would wake up. So after about five or so minutes I decide to wake up and play it like I had amnesia. Since the plan of them talking about me went bad.

I raised my head slowly so I didn't startle her.

"O my god, your awake."

"What happened?" I asked

She looked at me as if I was an alien. I gave her a stare that matched her confusion.

"Ritsuko!" Misato yell for her. My guess is that I might be able to understand Japanese but I still can't speak the lingo. But to my surprise she got up and introduced her self.

"Hi I am Misato Katsuragi," she said in a cheery voice.

At that moment Ritsuko came busting tough the door screaming, "What's wrong"

She took a look at me and gave me a smile and then proceeded to introduce herself.

Good morning, I am Ritsuko Akagi, NERV doctor and technical specialist.

"What happened, where the fuck am I, and who the hell am I." I softly said not wanting to sound to annoyed.

"You are Lance Young, Designated pilot of Unit 04," replied the doctor. "Your at NERV base Japan your EVA exploded the reasons are still unknown."

"Is my EVA up and running now" I asked with a hint of disappointment on my face which in turn got me a strange look form the two women standing in front of me. I wnated to have my own robot.

"Yes Unit 04 has been restored to proper operational status." Told Misato "we are having it transferred here from America along with Unit 02 coming from Germany."

"Sweet" I remarked now having a big smile now getting even bigger knowing my own EVA was coming from my home land of America.

"Are you filling okay?" Misato asked me

"Yes I'm fine why do you ask."

"You just woke up from a two month coma caused by an explosion and a plane crash, I think asking if you fell okay is a perfectly acceptable thing to say."

"I'm just fine look at me I'm still in perfect condition" I remarked trying to look serous

I was just so happy I'm living A Mecha kids dream here I got my own robot I get to be around chicks all day plus I get my very own robot did I mention I get my very own robot.

"Okay when do I get to leave this place," I asked in a poor me type of tone.

"You will be leaving tomorrow. You will stay with Misato," said Ritsuko in a matter of fact tone

WHAT? I never agreed to this. Was the outburst form Misato?

"I'm sorry Misato but we need to keep all the pilots together as much as possible." Ritsuko tried to give her a reason.

"Whatever, like I even have a choice?" Misato muttered

"It's only until Lance's Section 2 guardian arrives from Nevada along with unit 02 and unit 04." Ritsuko added.

"Well I need to get back to work and Misato does too so she'll come by tomorrow to get you."

"Thank you" I answered.

Tokyo 3 NERV hospital February 11, 2015.

"Are you ready to go, Misato said as she burst though the door."

As I rolled over to look at the lovely lady there was a kid standing at the door. It took me a few seconds to figure out who it was.

"Ah, I see you have meet Shinji," said Misato.

"He is the third child," she added

"Nice to meet Shinji" I gave him a nice smile and turned my attention to Misato who was putting clothes on my bed.

"Here you can wear these for the time being there is a shower over there". " she said as she pointed to what looked like a waterspout coming out of the wall with a curtain around it.

I got out of bed a started to take of my hospital clothes when I noticed that Shinji was turning an embarrassed red color. Just to get some kicks I went to the shower and took off my top of my to reveal a body that was in good shape. I mean this kid was in great shape. Now this made Shinji very embarrassed to get so more kicks I went over to talk to him.

"What's up Shinji your acting like you've never changed in a locker room." I said in a teasing why just to watch him be in an uncomfortable situation.

"Well its just that I um… sorry" he said looking at the ground.

"Well I gots to take a shower" I told him thinking he would catch my drift. But he a Misato just kind of stood there.

"That means I need some privacy okay." I said almost ripping their heads off.

"Okay, okay." They said together and they left.

I got in the shower; this was the first chance I got to look over myself.

There were a few relatively small scars but only one big one on my back.

"These scars could work in my favor," I said to no one. "Chicks dig scars."

After ten minutes in shower I got out a dried off as I dried off hit a sensitive area on my upper should that caused me to drop to my knees.

"God damn that fucking hurt!" I yelled in the good old American language.

I got up and carefully started to get dressed I can still speak english. I made my way over to the mirror to brush my hair when I got to the mirror I was a bit surprised I had blonde hair with ice blue eye which I though it was the coolest thing ever but I knew that girl would not like that. Especially since I pilot EVA they will think I'm some sort of psycho. But that is still fucking awesome.

"I bet that my hair is suppose to spike up" I said to myself. "Anime is weird like that."
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Well Okay now Me think that was long enough so this is my first story. Hey everyone has got to start somewhere I just happened to start here and now.

I know every one says it but no flamers or you will be hurting my little Constructive criticism please I must in prove so the hot babes wont call me a nerd ok maybe that wasn't funny but any way I will update later (maybe Muhahahahahahaha).