~ Daenerys ~
After 7x06 on the way back to Dragonstone
"Jon Snow's not in love with me," Daenerys declared and yet her heart leapt unexpectedly at the thought.
"Oh, my mistake," Tyrion countered. "I suppose he stares at you longingly because he's hopeful for a successful military alliance."
Did he really stare at her longingly? Dany thought she had caught that look once or twice, but had just as quickly dismissed it as her own fancy. She would turn towards the King in the North and there, just for a heartbeat, imagined she saw something thrilling in his eyes' dark depths, but then the illusion would quickly vanish, replaced with the impenetrable glower she was now so used to seeing on his face.
But Tyrion's words stayed with her and now, holding Jon's hand as he lay recovering in bed, she realised it was true. Now vulnerable and stripped of his furs and his stoic northern mask he seemed quite unable to take his eyes off her, gazing into her soul whilst his hand gently gripped hers as she tried to pull away.
'Stay,' his eyes said. 'Stay here and never leave me.'
And she wanted to. Her fear for him beyond the Wall had been shocking and real, as had the sudden realisation of her own feelings but, right then, the intimacy of the situation and her grief for Viserion had felt even more terrifying and she had fled, her wild emotions far too strong and raw to cope with.
~o~0~o~
Daenerys couldn't bring herself to return Jon's cabin after that, giving herself a little space for a day or two and only seeing him a couple of days later as he sat quietly in the large cabin they all used as their social and meeting place. She enquired after his health and he responded politely; his voice and gaze warmer than before their expedition north but nowhere near as loving as it had been during their last meeting. Having others here made a difference, of course, but Dany worried that Jon might have taken her leaving as rejection when, in truth, she was starting to regret the decision.
No, she realised, she had regretted it from the moment she'd set foot outside his door but, in hindsight, her leaving then had probably been for the best. There really was no need to add any further complications by pursuing … this. Whatever 'this' was.
No further mention was made of that intimate discussion and neither she nor Jon brought up the fact that he had sworn fealty to her. Of course, he had only just woken up after being half frozen and probably hadn't been entirely in his right mind when he'd said it, so Dany felt it would be unfair to remind him of a promise he made under such circumstances. After all, he had opened his eyes to find her waiting sadly by his beside after she'd rode to his rescue atop a dragon so it wasn't surprising that he'd been so emotional. Perhaps now, in hindsight, he was regretting both his words and his obvious show of affection towards her.
And yet she caught that adoring look more often now, or perhaps Dany was simply reading him better and understanding the subtle differences to be found within his dark eyes. Occasionally she even imagined she could see desire there too and the thought thrilled her so much that she would deliberately hold his gaze, part of her wanting him to understand that she did feel something for him and that it had simply been the wrong time to act upon it before. Because, nowadays, it was a constant struggle to get Jon out of her mind. She thought about him whenever he was in a different room, pictured his intense stare and muscled torso every time she closed her eyes and whispered his name when she touched herself at night.
"You're acting the love-struck fool," she admonished herself repeatedly, but it made little difference and she was now quite unable to deny her feelings for him.
As such, it was almost a relief when Dragonstone came back in view and Dany realised that she would soon be able to briefly put some distance between them. Almost. She was up on deck watching her newest home grow gradually larger when she sensed Jon approach. She had no idea how she knew it was him, but she didn't even need to turn to confirm it as he moved quietly next to her, hands on the railings as he too looked out at the view.
"It'll be good to set foot on land again," he said after a long silence, "even if only for a few hours."
She nodded. "And then you'll be back on ship bound for King's Landing."
"Aye. All things considered it's probably good that I'm not a Stark. Those who have that name don't tend to fare well in the capital."
"But will Snow fare any better?" she asked, turning to look at him whilst he kept his gaze resolutely forwards. How was it possible for one man to look so beautiful and so stern at the same time.
"Winter will be coming south soon enough," he replied, "so it's probably best I give the southerners some small taste of it."
Her gaze dropped to his lips and she licked her own instinctively. Thinking of 'Jon' and 'taste' together was doing strange things to her insides.
"About our ... talk in your cabin," she said eventually.
He shook his head. "It was too much too soon. I understand that."
She moved her hand along the rail until her little finger touched his through their gloves. "But none of it was unwelcome."
Jon's breath caught and saw his throat move as he swallowed hard, still staring out towards Dragonstone. He wore his sternness well, but she was getting better at reading him and knew that her words had affected him. Although he said nothing in response, he did move his hand until it rested over hers and Daenerys clung to the railing harder as she felt her knees buckle at his touch. She wanted him to say something - she wanted to say something - but the silence continued between them as they stared at the approaching island, fingers now entwined on the railing as they gently caressed each other's hands.
"You're sure about this grand entrance of yours at King's Landing?" he asked eventually.
"Yes," she replied, strangely happy to be able to talk of tactics again. "Tyrion's right. Cersei will do everything she can to gain the upper hand and so I need to make an impression."
He chuckled quietly. "You'll do that all right."
~ Jon ~
After the Kings Landing Meeting
Jon watched as Dragonstone grew larger, a strange, fluttering familiarity washing over him as he held onto the ship's railings and remembered the last time he'd stood here with Daenerys by his side and their hands entwined. His mind wandered to the feel of her fingers around his and her smile as they talked and joked at the Dragonpit, somehow trying to convince himself that the look he had seen in her eyes had simply been his own desire reflected back at him, but knowing it wasn't true. He was now convinced that she had feelings for him too and that his silent plea when he'd woken up had gone unanswered only because of the abominable timing of the thing. However, even now that he was in something resembling his right mind, he knew that time was still very much against them.
'Maybe when this is all over?'
He shook his head at the thought. Who knew if any of them would survive the Great War and, then again, perhaps that was a good enough reason to grab some small chance of happiness whilst they still could. He shook his head once more, the constant internal battle repeating itself over and over in his head. It did no good to dwell on it and yet all attempts to quash his feelings for the Dragon Queen had come to nothing.
As such, the sudden cries of Drogon and Rhagal was a welcome distraction - a beautifully haunting song. A trio desperately missing its vital third part - and then, as the ship drew closer, Jon saw a small, cloaked figure standing on the cliff, the weak sun breaking through the clouds just enough to highlight her hair and leave him in no doubt who was there waiting for him.
'Fool. She's not waiting for you, she's waiting for all of us. There are others here that she's known for far longer.'
And yet part of him wasn't convinced about that, wondering if Daenerys was pining for him in the same way as he was for her. If so then they were both fools for allowing their emotions to distract them from the task at hand.
The queen wasn't there to greet them on the beach, instead waiting for them calmly in the council room as if she hadn't been standing on the cliff watching the ship approach for half the morning. They would all need to head north as soon as possible, so she suggested that they took some time to rest and bathe before meeting her again that afternoon for a meeting to discuss their plans. Jon knew what the queen's own advisors would suggest and disagreed with their assessment of the northern situation. He had kept his own counsel when it had been discussed on the journey up here, however, wrestling all the while with his conscience as he made certain that his own thoughts on the matter had come from his head and not his heart ... or from any other part of his body.
The bath was welcome but Jon didn't dwell long in the water, the image of Daenerys on that cliff haunting him to the extent that he now had a desperate need to stand there himself. The odd instinct only got stronger once he had dressed and so he put on his cloak and headed out, not at all surprised to find the queen standing in exactly the same place as she'd been that morning.
She didn't acknowledge his approach, apparently quite unsurprised by his appearance, and Jon tried to think of something appropriate to say - an explanation or a joke? - but nothing came to mind. She also remained silent as he moved by her side, so close that their shoulders were almost touching, whilst his fingers itched to touch hers. In the end, Dany was the one to reach out for him and it felt as if a key had tuned in a lock as her gloved hand found his. Jon let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding as their fingers entwined, feeling the tension of the days spend apart from her quickly melt away. The pair remained this way for some time and yet there was no discomfort in the long silence.
"It somehow seems easier to talk of Cersei and the Night King than does is about ... this," he said eventually. He was looking out to sea but knew she was smiling when she replied.
"Perhaps because 'this' has nothing to do with the realm or our people," she said. "Perhaps because we recognise it as our own selfish desire and know that there's no time for such luxury."
"And that's Cersei's problem, isn't it?" Jon said, suddenly understanding. "Her desire for the throne is entirely that. She wants it for herself alone and not because of any good she could do whilst sitting on it."
"Tryion has said much the same thing," she replied, "and, for a little while, I worried that it was perhaps the case for me too."
"I don't believe that."
She laughed gently. "Do you not? I'm fairly certain you believed it during our first meeting."
"I seem to remember saying you were better than Cersei even back then when I didn't know you."
"True."
The silence settled around them again like the warmest of cloaks and, at some point, they both removed their closest glove so they could hold hands properly. What their tongues seemed unable to say was instead discussed by their fingers; gentle caresses taking the place of whispered promises and leaving little doubt in Jon's mind of the queen's feelings.
"Now I do know you, I understand that you would hold the realm for the good of the people," he said eventually. "And I would hold the north for you for the same reason. Together we could perhaps make a difference?" He sighed. "If we survive this."
"And if we don't?" she asked. "What if, after this war, there is no Iron throne and no-one left to sit on it? Cersei's desire could mean the end of the realm but ... this ..." She squeezed his hand again. "What harm could this do?"
"It's a distraction, perhaps?" Recently Jon had formed a long list of all the reasons falling for Dany was a very bad idea but, right now, standing on this cliff top and watching the dragons swoop and sing with her warm hand firmly captured in his, he was struggling to find just one.
"Perhaps that's not a bad thing?" she said. "Perhaps it might even give us more reason to fight?"
He chuckled. "More reason than the end of the world?"
"Good point." She squeezed again, moving closer so her shoulder touched his arm. "Perhaps we simply deserve a little something for ourselves."
He had lifted her hand to his lips before he'd consciously thought about it, pressing an urgent kiss to her fingers as he finally dared to face her. "I'm not sure I do deserve you."
"Jon ..."
Her eyes were wide as she stared up at him, her lips slightly parted, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss her lips there and then. However, this place was far too public for such a show and he glanced nervously behind him, lowering her hand and loosening his grip slightly. Dany also looked back towards the castle with a loud sigh, reluctantly removing her hand from his and putting her glove back on.
"I think it's almost time for the meeting," she said as she started to turn away. "I'll see you back there."
"Dany?" He'd forgotten he'd promised not to call her that but the amused look she gave him seemed to imply that she no longer minded. Jon smiled back and nodded. "I'll see you there."
~o~0~o~
A/N: I started to write my first Jonerys fanfic before 7x07 had aired but always wanted to have another go once I'd actually seen the episode. This was to be a one-shot but it inevitably got away from me and I couldn't decide if it was going to be one long chapter or two short ones.
In the end it's two but you won't have to wait long for the sexier second chapter which I'll try to get out to you tomorrow. This story WILL finish there, although if you're interested in more of this relationship and how I might continue it after episode 7, take a look at my ongoing fic 'Silent Declarations' which I'll be getting back to once this one's done.