"You don't have to do this Tony. You're the senior field agent. It's...uh...undignified..."
"Yeah." Ellie chimes in from her desk across the bullpen. "I know when you made me do it you were just hazing the newbie, right?"
"Was I? This is a tradition Bish...a ritual...a.."
"More like a superstition" McGee mutters.
"Whatever it is I said the q word. I said we would have a quiet day and now I have to do this. The consequences if I don't are unthinkable." He shudders.
"Well get on with it then."
"Thanks for your support McGeek."
Tony takes a few items off his desk before standing on it and waving his arms around to attract the attention of the rest of their colleagues in the squad room.
"Hey! Listen up everyone." He looks around as people stop what they're doing and turn to stare.
"This is important. I Anthony D. DiNozzo pray to the Gods of NCIS..." He pauses. Something is wrong. Very wrong. Instead of standing in respectful silence people are laughing and pointing. Pointing at him. He turns his gaze to Tim and Ellie the only two not laughing but instead watching with expressions somehow combining horror, astonishment and amusement on their faces.
He is naked. Not wearing a stitch. Not his hand tailored Sy Devore suit, not a Zenga tie or even just one of his seriously expensive Italian shoes. What is going on here? He closes his eyes as the laughter echoes around the room.
"Grab your gear DiNozzo." A familiar voice barks.
Tony instinctively moves to cover his genitals before opening his eyes.
Gibbs is taking his gun from a drawer. "Dead marine in Rock Creek park."
"But..."
Gibbs locks eyes with him. "What?"
"I'm not exactly dressed for a crime scene Boss."
Gibbs' eyes slowly scan Tony's body from head to toe. He chuckles. "Not appropriately perhaps but there's no time for you to change."
"Umm." Could Gibbs really expect him to go out like this? Wait just a minute. Now I am wearing clothes. He is now dressed in rather flash tuxedo.
"Come on James Bond" Gibbs orders in a voice that sounds like Zoe Keates. The MCRT heads towards the elevators.
Suddenly a flash of light fills the squad room temporarily blinding him. He blinks then his mouth drops open as the Bionic Woman and Robin step from the elevator and walk towards them.
"I'm so pleased to meet you very special agent DiNozzo. My daughter has told me many good things about you." She holds out her hand which DiNozzo shakes bemusedly.
"Your daughter?"
"Ellie."
"Ah." DiNozzo turns to the super hero standing beside her.
"Do ya know what's going on McBoy Wonder?"
Tim frowns. "Not at all except..."
"Except..."
"I know you are meant to be Batman. We agreed."
"No, we agreed I'd be Bruce Wayne."
Jimmy rushes in dressed as Clark Kent and carrying an outfit covered in plastic.
"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'm so sorry Tim but I can't find another tuxedo."
"How did ya know one was needed autopsy gremlin?"
"I used my x-ray vision to find Tim as we're travelling together. I saw you weren't dressed the same and you should be so I tried to fix it."
"X-ray vision? You mean you're...you're..."
"Yes, Tony. I am Superman."
The laughter starts up again this time accompanied by a ringing noise in his ears. He digs his phone out from the back of the sofa where it had slipped while he was watching the movie.
"You awake Tony?"
"I am now."
"We've got a case. Boss want us to come back."
"Ooo-kay."
Pushing some shirts along the rail in his closet he pauses at his black mask and cape. He smiles.
