Disclaimer: I don't own Clark or Lex. If I did, I'd make Clark learn first aid so he could help Lex after his many head wounds. Thanks to Tigress35 for helping put ths silly bunny in my head. Blame the rest of it on insomnia. Written for the Slod's Mom Challenge.
Sheriff Nancy Adams paced the halls of the Smallville jail, and contemplated her quarry. Clark Kent and Lex Luthor had been caught in the Notell Motel, not telling how they'd gotten into the room, which also contained a tied up jewel thief.
They were cooling their heels in a holding cell, while she decided what to do with them. As much as Clark seemed to be destined to play hero, Lex Luthor was meant to need his services. The two of them together were a pair she was already finding very trying.
Clark Kent wore his usual expression of innocence mixed with petulance. Perhaps not the most wanted of Smallville's criminal element, but certainly one who was in the periphery of so many local events it was suspicious.
Nancy wondered if the innocence was real, or if, as she suspected, the facade was hiding an inhuman heart, bent on destruction. The boy was too pretty to be real. Someday, she was sure, those perfect cheekbones would split open, revealing an alien horror.
Lex Luthor leaned against the cement wall, managing to make the simple holding cell look like a room in a theme hotel; the kind she'd read about in People magazine, but never had opportunity to visit. Even with his once elegant jacket torn and disheveled, he looked impeccable. Though Sheriff Nancy had never arrested him before, there was something about the man that looked at home here. She predicted Lex had a future in and out of police custody.
***
He'd done it again. Rescued his best friend from trouble the man shouldn't have been involved with in the first place. It was cute, how Lex always seemed to be in the thick of things. He had the tiniest streak of evil running through him. Clark liked that. Lex made life interesting.
"Mr Kent," she said, giving him her best "brook no arguments" glare. "Yet again, I find you've insinuated yourself in a situation where you clearly did not belong. Did I miss your graduation from high school and enrollment in the Police Academy?"
"No Ma'am," Clark demurred. "But Lex could have died if I hadn't..." he couldn't very well tell her what he had done to rescue Lex this time. The breaking and entering was bad enough. Throw in X-ray spying, and assault by heat vision, and his proverbial goose would be cooked. *Mmm, goose*. Lex had once told him that his mother had made a traditional Christmas goose. Damn, he was hungry.
"Mr. Luthor had no business being there in the first place. Since you both are so set on playing Smallville's Savior, you'll both share the punishment. And no, Mr. Luthor can't buy your way out of it."
Clark blanched at the idea of Lex in an orange vest, bending to pick up road trash. Well, the bending part sounded nice, but not the rest of it. Orange was not his color. Lex might once have picked up Eurotrash, but Clark couldn't picture him poking empty Dorito bags with a stick.
***
Lex didn't like it much, either. While spending a few hours locked up with Clark was doing wonders for his Oz fantasy, he didn't relish whatever community service the new sheriff would be likely to assign them. He hoped he could convince her to let them choose something more fitting to his place in society. Luthors did not touch garbage.
***
Two days later, Clark was nervously standing in front of the entire SV High student body. Lex had made a suggestion for a service project, and the sheriff had agreed whole-heartedly. A quick conversation between Sheriff Nancy and Principal Reynolds, and Clark found himself facing an auditorium full of kids.
"Thank you for coming to this assembly," Clark said. "As you know, every year Smallville and Grandview high schools have a competition to see how many people they can get certified in CPR and basic life-saving skills. "
"This is an especially important skill here in Smallville, where we are often faced with the unexpected, such as the tornadoes, and the meteor shower." Clark hoped he wasn't blushing. "Let's face it. Life in Smallville is never boring, and a solid background in safety and rescue skills can be a helpful thing."
"Now, for everyone who takes the CPR and first aid class we'll be offering, LexCorp will donate five dollars towards the Smallville High improvement fund." Clark smiled over at Lex, who was out of the audience's view behind the curtain. That had been his idea. Leave it to Lex to turn a personal embarrassment into a P.R coup. "The Talon management has also donated free Lattes for every participant." Clark hoped that no one would need actual CPR service *because* of Lana's lattes.
"Just to show you what you'll be learning, Lex and I will now demonstrate proper Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation technique." Clark lay on the stage, pretending to be unconscious. His red t-shirt rode up a little, exposing golden skin, and a line of dark hair that disappeared into his jeans.
He and Lex had taken the course together, so they could help teach it later. He didn't think Lex would feel comfortable acting as the victim, considering the way they had met.
This felt very different. There was no fear, just a sense of excitement as Clark felt Lex's warm hands on his chest, and they breathed one breath. His hands moved of their own accord.
"Clark!" Principal Reynolds hissed at him from his vantage point a few feet away, " you're supposed to be unconscious. Get your hands off Luthor's ass."
"Not on my account." Lex purred.
After Lex and Clark finished their demonstration, to wild applause, Principal Reynolds came up and led the assembly in the school song, then released the students back to their classes.
When he got home from school that day, Clark found Martha sitting at the kitchen table cutting pie crust. "Honey, I'm so proud of you. Prinicipal Reynolds called to say you spoke very convincingly, and are turning into a fine young man. They've had 300 people sign up already." She didn't mention that he'd also warned her to keep an eye on her son and his friendship with Lex.
"Thanks, Mom. I know you worry when I get involved in things, but I just have to pr the people I care about. At least this time my punishment is something worthwhile, instead of picking up crap."
"Well, you might learn to do that in that disaster area of a bedroom, Sweetie." Martha said affectionately.
***
They came from Smallville and Grandville, Edge City and Metropolis. Every one of them filled with the volunteer spirit, or more likely the need to touch Clark's angelic form. Lex couldn't blame them.
Clark looked up despairingly at the line of people that stretched as far as he could see (and he could see pretty fucking far.) Men and women; boys and girls; even Chloe's cross-dressing friend Henrietta. He'd be long past puberty, and into his Depends years when the last Red Cross volunteer straggled in to practice his breathing and compression skills.
It was a good thing he was invulnerable. Otherwise, his lips would be chapped, and his chest bruised from all the manhandling. It wasn't that bad, though, pretending to be a "dummy". He imagined everyone who touched him was Lex, and made sure Lex corrected the techniques of the worst students.
By the time the last participant had finished, Clark could hardly keep his hands off Lex, and it was obvious Lex felt the same way He plotted all the things he was going to do to Lex, once he got him alone. Even with Clark's remarkable stamina, it was unlikely they'd be able to get all that in. With only 24 hours in a day, there just wasn't enough time.
Sheriff Nancy Adams paced the halls of the Smallville jail, and contemplated her quarry. Clark Kent and Lex Luthor had been caught in the Notell Motel, not telling how they'd gotten into the room, which also contained a tied up jewel thief.
They were cooling their heels in a holding cell, while she decided what to do with them. As much as Clark seemed to be destined to play hero, Lex Luthor was meant to need his services. The two of them together were a pair she was already finding very trying.
Clark Kent wore his usual expression of innocence mixed with petulance. Perhaps not the most wanted of Smallville's criminal element, but certainly one who was in the periphery of so many local events it was suspicious.
Nancy wondered if the innocence was real, or if, as she suspected, the facade was hiding an inhuman heart, bent on destruction. The boy was too pretty to be real. Someday, she was sure, those perfect cheekbones would split open, revealing an alien horror.
Lex Luthor leaned against the cement wall, managing to make the simple holding cell look like a room in a theme hotel; the kind she'd read about in People magazine, but never had opportunity to visit. Even with his once elegant jacket torn and disheveled, he looked impeccable. Though Sheriff Nancy had never arrested him before, there was something about the man that looked at home here. She predicted Lex had a future in and out of police custody.
***
He'd done it again. Rescued his best friend from trouble the man shouldn't have been involved with in the first place. It was cute, how Lex always seemed to be in the thick of things. He had the tiniest streak of evil running through him. Clark liked that. Lex made life interesting.
"Mr Kent," she said, giving him her best "brook no arguments" glare. "Yet again, I find you've insinuated yourself in a situation where you clearly did not belong. Did I miss your graduation from high school and enrollment in the Police Academy?"
"No Ma'am," Clark demurred. "But Lex could have died if I hadn't..." he couldn't very well tell her what he had done to rescue Lex this time. The breaking and entering was bad enough. Throw in X-ray spying, and assault by heat vision, and his proverbial goose would be cooked. *Mmm, goose*. Lex had once told him that his mother had made a traditional Christmas goose. Damn, he was hungry.
"Mr. Luthor had no business being there in the first place. Since you both are so set on playing Smallville's Savior, you'll both share the punishment. And no, Mr. Luthor can't buy your way out of it."
Clark blanched at the idea of Lex in an orange vest, bending to pick up road trash. Well, the bending part sounded nice, but not the rest of it. Orange was not his color. Lex might once have picked up Eurotrash, but Clark couldn't picture him poking empty Dorito bags with a stick.
***
Lex didn't like it much, either. While spending a few hours locked up with Clark was doing wonders for his Oz fantasy, he didn't relish whatever community service the new sheriff would be likely to assign them. He hoped he could convince her to let them choose something more fitting to his place in society. Luthors did not touch garbage.
***
Two days later, Clark was nervously standing in front of the entire SV High student body. Lex had made a suggestion for a service project, and the sheriff had agreed whole-heartedly. A quick conversation between Sheriff Nancy and Principal Reynolds, and Clark found himself facing an auditorium full of kids.
"Thank you for coming to this assembly," Clark said. "As you know, every year Smallville and Grandview high schools have a competition to see how many people they can get certified in CPR and basic life-saving skills. "
"This is an especially important skill here in Smallville, where we are often faced with the unexpected, such as the tornadoes, and the meteor shower." Clark hoped he wasn't blushing. "Let's face it. Life in Smallville is never boring, and a solid background in safety and rescue skills can be a helpful thing."
"Now, for everyone who takes the CPR and first aid class we'll be offering, LexCorp will donate five dollars towards the Smallville High improvement fund." Clark smiled over at Lex, who was out of the audience's view behind the curtain. That had been his idea. Leave it to Lex to turn a personal embarrassment into a P.R coup. "The Talon management has also donated free Lattes for every participant." Clark hoped that no one would need actual CPR service *because* of Lana's lattes.
"Just to show you what you'll be learning, Lex and I will now demonstrate proper Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation technique." Clark lay on the stage, pretending to be unconscious. His red t-shirt rode up a little, exposing golden skin, and a line of dark hair that disappeared into his jeans.
He and Lex had taken the course together, so they could help teach it later. He didn't think Lex would feel comfortable acting as the victim, considering the way they had met.
This felt very different. There was no fear, just a sense of excitement as Clark felt Lex's warm hands on his chest, and they breathed one breath. His hands moved of their own accord.
"Clark!" Principal Reynolds hissed at him from his vantage point a few feet away, " you're supposed to be unconscious. Get your hands off Luthor's ass."
"Not on my account." Lex purred.
After Lex and Clark finished their demonstration, to wild applause, Principal Reynolds came up and led the assembly in the school song, then released the students back to their classes.
When he got home from school that day, Clark found Martha sitting at the kitchen table cutting pie crust. "Honey, I'm so proud of you. Prinicipal Reynolds called to say you spoke very convincingly, and are turning into a fine young man. They've had 300 people sign up already." She didn't mention that he'd also warned her to keep an eye on her son and his friendship with Lex.
"Thanks, Mom. I know you worry when I get involved in things, but I just have to pr the people I care about. At least this time my punishment is something worthwhile, instead of picking up crap."
"Well, you might learn to do that in that disaster area of a bedroom, Sweetie." Martha said affectionately.
***
They came from Smallville and Grandville, Edge City and Metropolis. Every one of them filled with the volunteer spirit, or more likely the need to touch Clark's angelic form. Lex couldn't blame them.
Clark looked up despairingly at the line of people that stretched as far as he could see (and he could see pretty fucking far.) Men and women; boys and girls; even Chloe's cross-dressing friend Henrietta. He'd be long past puberty, and into his Depends years when the last Red Cross volunteer straggled in to practice his breathing and compression skills.
It was a good thing he was invulnerable. Otherwise, his lips would be chapped, and his chest bruised from all the manhandling. It wasn't that bad, though, pretending to be a "dummy". He imagined everyone who touched him was Lex, and made sure Lex corrected the techniques of the worst students.
By the time the last participant had finished, Clark could hardly keep his hands off Lex, and it was obvious Lex felt the same way He plotted all the things he was going to do to Lex, once he got him alone. Even with Clark's remarkable stamina, it was unlikely they'd be able to get all that in. With only 24 hours in a day, there just wasn't enough time.