AN: Another song fic. Sigh. I hope you like this one. It's short and kind of depressing. Please review!
Breathe
Maximum Ride's POV
I look in my rear-view mirror, afraid of what I would find. But I had to get one last look. Fang, my boyfriend, my other half, my soul mate. He was my everything. He knew me like he knew the back of his hand. I knew him just as well, if not better. His lips are set in a grim line, his showing absolutely no emotion. I miss him already. I feel alone. Like everything's spiraling out of control. And it is.
None of us thought it was gonna end this way. With me running. Everyone knew how much I loved Fang. I guess it's stupid since we're only Juniors in high school but I knew that he was meant for me. It was just one of those things that you could tell. I'll always love him. He'll always be in the back of my mind, nagging me to go back, back to what we had. But I won't. I'm leaving for his safety, even if he doesn't know that. I won't be around to tell him either.
I changed my mind. People are people. It happens. I changed my mind, not about Fang. Definitely not about Fang. I changed my mind about staying and just letting my past catch up to me. Things like that just happen. People are people, and sometimes we have to make hard decisions. I hope Fang knows that I'm doing this for us. Even if it may not seem like that now. I can only pray that things will work their way out.
I punch the button and turn on the radio, music starts playing like at the end of a sad movie. My life movie is the kind of ending you really don't wanna see. It's only a big huge tragedy. I had to leave everything I ever loved behind. I just don't know what to be without him around. I close my eyes briefly, letting the feeling loneliness wash over me, before snapping them open because I know that I most certainly don't have a death wish, even though that would be less painful then what I'm feeling right now.
I pull over abruptly, take out a notebook from the dash and use my bright red pen. I'm writing him a letter. A piece of me for him to hang on to until I can come back.
Dear Fang,
We know it's never simple, never easy. It's never a clean break, and this time there's no one here to save me. You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand, and don't worry I plan on keeping it that way. And just know that I can't breathe without you. But I have to breathe without you. I have to.
Never wanted to see you hurt, that's why I left. If I stayed I would have to see you hurt much, much worse. Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve. I guess I really am a bad driver, huh? But people are people, and sometimes things just don't work. Nothing we say could save us from the fallout, no matter how hard we try.
We know it's never simple, never easy. It's never a clean break, and this time there's no one here to save me. You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand, and don't worry there won't ever be someone else. And just know that I can't breathe without you. But I have to breathe without you. I have to.
I'm writing this at 2 A.M. I feel like I just lost a friend, and I have. I hope you know it's not easy, never easy, for me. And we know it's never simple, never easy. Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
I can't breathe without you. But I have to breathe without you. I have to.
Forever and Always, I hope anyways,
Maximum Sally Ride
I look at the letter reading it over and over again. I stare at it with heartbroken eyes, my tears leaking down the page, smearing the bright red ink. I can't send this. It'll break his heart even more, knowing that I was practically forced to leave him and might never be able to see him ever again. He'll just hold on to me like a lost memory. He'll never find someone else. Even if I don't want him to, he has to find someone. He can't sit around all day moping because I left. It wouldn't be good for him.
All I can be to him is a lost memory. Hopefully a happy one. I don't want him to look back on life later on with regret. Even if I can come back for him, there isn't a guarantee that we can have what we've always had.
I can breathe without him. But I have to breathe without him. I have to. I have to breathe.
Tears leak out of my eyes once again and I furiously grip at my hair. I crumple up the letter and throw out into the wind. I grab the notebook and write him a new one before finding an old envelope and stamp. I can barely control my hand enough write his address coherently. I don't put a return address on the envelope, just my name and his address. He'll understand.
I drive to the post office and hand the letter to a lady at the desk. She puts it in the back and I stand there for a second thinking. Because in this post office there is a room, and in that room lies an envelope, and in that envelope lays two words that I haven't ever said.
Tears threaten to spill over and if there's one thing I never do it's cry, especially in public. I get in my car, my final words Fang will hear from me in a while playing over and over again in my mind.
Dear Fang,
I'm sorry.
-Max