One summer morning Harry and Ron were playing soccer in the streets of London. They were having fun and Harry was kicking ass. Hagrid walked up to them out of the blue. Almost like he appeared my MAGIC! Hagrid had an idea. He told Ron and Harry that he wanted to burn down a retirement home because it was blocking the view of the city skyline from his summer home. Ron and Harry eventually agreed to go with him; although they were not too sure that it was a good idea.
Harry, Ron and Hagrid arrived at the retirement home in a fashionable time because they took Ron's Father's new flying car. Hagrid had to sit on the roof because he is a fat ass. They knew that Ron's parents were cool with that sort of behavior. They sneaked over to a corner of the retirement home that was out of sight from the main road and had no windows. Hagrid yelled "Die BITCHES!" and cast a magical magic spell on the complex. It immediately burst into flames jetting high into the air. Hagrid then went mad with power and tried to throw Ron into the inferno. Ron fought back vigilantly and in an intense moment both of their wands were forced out of their hands by Harry's magical magic spell. Then as punishment for them being immature harry forced them to have butt-sex on camera.
After that quick escalation of ideas we are back to the main story. Harry, Ron and Hagrid ran away from the retirement home and back to the flying car. The invisibility boosters broke because they were made in china and they were instantly involved in a high speed police-helicopter chase. The new car was quick, but Hagrid was restricting their speed due to his beard making them not very aerodynamic. Eventually one of the helicopters got a little too close and chopped off Hagrid's head with its rotors. Hagrid's head fell into the city and killed a young pregnant lady.
Eventually the magical magic car ran out of gas on crashed into a city park. Harry was killed on impact and Ron was quickly captured by the police. He spent life in prison and had to pick up soap every day for the rest of his life. Hermione came and visited him often, but in the end he was left alone and died a lonely old man.
THE END