"It's nearly done!" Fred and George declared. A few metres away, a sensible second year dived for cover; but for once the twins weren't blowing things up. At least, not literally…

Hermione's frizzy hair appeared; framing her suspicious face as she lowered her Transfiguration for the Talented Teenager book; her eyes narrowed at the twins.

"Hey'ya Mione!" George called; making eye contact. "Enjoying yourself?"

Hermione continued to stare at them; she was onto them – whatever it was they were doing. No good, no doubt.

Fred took this opportunity to cheekily wave in Hermione's direction. Hermione elbowed Harry, who was slouched over the table; looking quite miserable.

"OW! What is it, Hermione?"

The twins couldn't catch the conversation; but it seemed that Harry told Hermione to go and deal with the Twins if she felt it was necessary, so Hermione strode over.

"Okay," Hermione began, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Let's do this the easy way. What are you two up to?"

The twins conjured up expressions of shocked innocence; "Us, up to something?"
"Miss Granger, you wound me so…"

"Here we are, concerned brothers, who, until recently; hadn't realised how mature our sister was getting."

"And to our shock and surprise; we hear from Ron that she's got herself a boyfriend."

"And we were sitting here, contemplating this change, when we were so rudely interrupted and accused of nefarious scheming."

"Yes, yes yes." Hermione was not to be deterred. "What Is 'Nearly Done'? You're not going to go and prank Michael Corner, are you?"

"Hermione! I'm shocked that you would even think that of us. No, we are not planning to prank Mr Corner; and if we were, it wouldn't be because he and Ginny are dating."

Hermione was taken aback.

"Think of it, Hermione; in a few short years, Ginny will be striding into the world, independent; if Michael Corner is the guy for her; then so be it. Letting her have her relationship is an investment in our sister's wellbeing!"

Hermione looked slightly embarrassed. "Well, Ron was…Ron, and I thought you would, you know, give Ginny and Michael trouble…"

"Oh, dear, sweet Hermione looking out for Ginny. Don't you worry your genius little head; Fred and George are only here to support and guide our precious little sister…"

##

"So, what is this?" Harry asked, holding his hand over the lettering which proclaimed that the book he was holding was…

"Fred and George's simple guide to dating our teenage sister." Declared the Terrible Twosome.

"What?!" Harry stepped back. "I'm not interested in…"

"Look Harry; every male student is getting a copy; if you're going to do it, you're going to do it right!" Fred said, looking quite intimidating; quite ignoring Harry's protestations that he wasn't going to do it at all, and that though Ginny was a great friend; there was absolutely nothing going on between them now or in the future.

Harry could not understand why Fred and George left chanting the name of an Egyptian river.

"Wait!" Harry called out. The twins turned. "Even Malfoy gets a copy?"

"Everyone." The twins confirmed.

##

Harry was so bored; and…dare he even think it; he was considering opening Fred and George's guide up…Not that he was at all interested in actually using the information; but he did need some entertainment; and a work of Fred and George fit the bill…

Opening the book up to a random page, Harry began to read.

Romantic Gestures…

If you're a romantic at heart; you're in luck, because Ginny really loves flamboyant gestures. The more frequent, the better. For example, charm the great hall to drop pink (her favourite colour) flower petals over her seat; she'll love you for it.

Harry frowned, and turned to another page.

Be Chivalrous…

If there is an enemy threatening you and Ginny; step in front of her and let her know you'll protect her; enemies range from bullies to Puffskeins; just get between her and danger. Also, try to help her with doors/books/walking/servingherbreakfast/lunch/dinner. The way to her heart is yours if you follow these simple rules.

Stubbornness…

If for some reason Ginny argues with you on any matter; sweetly insist that she's right; no matter what. She'll be glad you've gone over to her side, and your relationship will be better for it.

Delicate Ginny and her Delicate Delicacy…

Gently but continuously remind Ginny to keep herself safe in any manner. Is she on the Quidditch Team? Suggest she take up Gobstones instead. Is she going outside in the spring? Remind her of the sun's harmful rays and convince her to stay inside. Does she want to go into the snows of winter? Inform her of the dangers of Hypothermia. Insist on treating any and all injuries, however minor as soon as possible.

##

All too soon, the book was over, so, the next morning, Harry cornered the twins, brandishing the book.

"Enjoy it, Harry?" The twins grinned.

Harry returned the smile. "It's absolute gold, you two; I'd high recommend this guide to anyone who wanted to date anyone but Ginny."

George squinted at Harry and fiddled with his ear. "Sorry, old bean, didn't quite hear you; are you saying that you wouldn't use these perfectly personalised tips if you did want to date Ginny?"

"I'd probably do the complete opposite... This is all conjecture, right?" Harry asked.

The Twins nodded. "Oh, of course, Harry. "

"But you know Ginny; you'd know how she wouldn't really like…" And realisation of the sheer brilliance of Fred and George's work washed over Harry. "But people who don't know Ginny would think it was the way to her heart…And…"

"And the termites come out of the woodwork….Everyone who wanted to date Ginny will come out; emboldened with their new weapon; and since they know everyone else has the same tool; they know they'll have to strike fast. And you know the best thing Harry?" George asked.

Fred answered for Harry. "We don't have to get our hands dirty pranking those who reveal their fancy for Ginny. She'll deal with them all herself."

"That's the evilest thing I can imagine." Harry whispered, quite overcome with dramatics for the situation.

"Look, it's beginning…." Fred and George gestured over to Ginny, who looked quite confused as she flicked a pink rose petal off her top…

Well, you can imagine how the morning continued.