Please take heed that this is a fanfic, and it isn't meant to be taken seriously.
Disclaimer: I do not own Halo. The guys who make it do.
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Master Chief stood unfrozen on his ship, tapping his foot lightly against the cold metal ground.
"I don't feel like being all frozen again…at least not right now." He said to no one particular.
His friend the Arbitor, was along for the ride. Chief asked him to join him on his quest to save the universe from the evil Halo ring monster, but as the moment they both felt bored.
"You know Chiefy…" He began, twiddling his fingers and sitting in a huge leather-bound chair that was attached to the floor. He had a small glint in his eye and his lips curled up into a frightening smirk under his helmet.
"What's that?" He asked, turning his attention to his comrade.
"I think we need a vacation. A summer vacation." He pointed out.
"Really? Good idea!" Master Chief cried, grabbing the wheel of his ship and turning it 360 degrees south. "Lets go to Earth! Pack your swim trunks Arbitor me boy, we're going to have the time of our lives!"
"I thought earth was destroyed…" He said, swiveling his chair back and forth with his feet.
"It was destroyed, this place is actually called Mars or something. Turns out humanity moved here after the disaster. There is no difference really, just that there's a giant bubble around the planet. They renamed it Earth also."
"Excellent, I'll start packing right away!" The Arbitor jumped up and ran to the corner of the ship, where a small box labeled 'Emergency Only' sat.
Master Chief looked back at him and looked away. He was forbidden to look in the box, but he couldn't help but let his mind wander. The Arbitor needed his personal space too you know.
He turned his attention on directing the ship to the Earth. He was so excited he could barely cope with his own emotions.
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As Master Chief landed the ship, the Arbitor jumped out and held out his arms. "Surprise!" He cried out, wearing orange swim trunks over his armor.
"Dude, you look suave. I'm sure the ladies will love you." The big suited Chief complemented.
"Where's yours?" The big blue alien asked.
Master Chief smirked under his helmet and held up a beach ball. "I'll get to it…I just don't want all the gals jumping all over me yet."
The Arbitor gawked at the ball. If there was one thing he loved more then anything in this world, it was beach balls.
Oh…how he loved beach balls…
"Arbitor dear!"
His five year old eyes looked up and he smiled at his mother. She held up a giant blue ball in her hands and held it over his head.
"Look what I got you!"
He reached up, and touched it for the very first time. His first…beach ball.
"Arbitor."
"Huh?" The blue alien quickly snapped out of it as Master Chief came from behind him wearing green swim trunks.
"We're at the beach already. You've been daydreaming this entire time. Anyways…you ready for some volleyball? He held up the same beach ball and the Arbitor nodded.
"Heck yeah!"They both found a volleyball court near the huge body of water. They didn't notice the four punk kids standing nearby.
"This is going straight for you Arty!" Master Chief held the ball high into the air and hit is with his fist over the net. The Arbitor quickly dove for it and hit it right back to him.
"Hey, check out the weird dudes in armor." Arbitor and Master Chief quickly looked over and saw the four kids. They were all male humans, about thirteen to fifteen.
"You got a problem with us boys?" Master Chief asked.
The boy who spoke earlier laughed silently, his shoulders shaking slightly. He had dark black hair and these electric blue eyes.
"Yeah, this isn't a beach for freaks." He high fived one of his fellow friends and glanced back at the alien and guy in armor.
"Yeah well, last time we checked it was a free country." The Arbitor snapped.
The boys left after that, sneering and cursing under there breaths.
"Pay them no heed Arbitor, we were once young."
Master Chief held the big ball in his hands and spiked it over the net to the Arbitor, who missed and the ball went sailing behind him…towards the four boys!
"Arbitor!" Master Chief cried out, but it was too late. The ball went under one of the boys who were wearing cleats and it popped.
All the kids jumped at the sound of the noise, looking back at the flabbergasted Chief and Arbitor.
"Oh geez…" Said the boy in cleats. "Sorry…"
The giant blue alien clenched his fists. "Where are your families?" He shouted dementedly.
"Uh…over there." One of the boys pointed out to a group of happy humans.
Master Chief walked over to them graciously, acting like a total gentleman. The Arbitor stood behind him fuming, his hands shaking.
"Excuse me," Master Chief began. "We are going to kill you now."
One of the humans was a fat tall guy, who looked like the black haired kids dad. "What was that?"
"I said…"
Before anyone could make a move, the Arbitor took out a giant gun and desecrated all of those who were in that spot.
"Oh my god!" Cried out one of the boys, as Master Chief and the Arbitor turned to look behind there shoulders.
"Now you know of true suffering!" The Arbitor yelled, pointing at the four kids.
Master Chief stretched his arms out and sighed. "That was fun. Ready to go swimming?"
The best friends walked away from the scene nonchalant as ever. It wasn't until they were near he water that they heard wails sirens.
"I don't know Master Chief…" The Arbitor began. "Maybe killing off their families wasn't the best way for a comeback."
"Oh come on!" He said, his voice rising and falling on each individual word. "There were teenage boys, they'll get over it."
As they began there trek into the deep blue, Master Chief immediately froze. When the Arbitor was chest deep, he turned to look at his best friend.
"Chiefy? What's wrong?"
"Arbitor…" He was waist deep, and stood unmoving. "Our armor isn't waterproof. We left our waterproof armor back at the ship!"
That's when the blue alien felt himself go numb. He couldn't move!
Master Chief couldn't move his legs! He flailed his arms about like a ten year old, trying to catch the attention of someone.
"I'm rusting!" The Arbitor cried.
"As am I!"
The two best friends looked at each other one more time before they both started wailing and crying. It was the worst summer ever.
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This had been a SeXY HelPings the Dinosaur production! :3
XXX In Memory of the families Master Chief killed XXX
The End.
Thanks for reading!