Christine sighed in relief when she saw him on the bed. Erik finally gave up and went to sleep.

His mind seemed to never stop. Christine noticed in these few months living with him that he was always doing something- composing or playing or drawing or even writing. And when Erik was really focused on his creation, he wouldn't spend his precious time filling mere human needs. He would skip meals (with the excuse that he would eat later), spend nights awake, and Christine sometimes felt he wasn't even aware of her. It hurt her, to not have the attention of her own husband, but these habits made her more worried than anything. Though he claimed he didn't feel tired or hungry, she knew his body could not keep up with this. By now she was pretty sure the reason he was so thin was because he didn't bother to eat enough.

Christine did scold him. All the time. She sometimes felt like she was raising a baby. And it wouldn't be all bad if he wasn't so stubborn. She wouldn't mind being the one to remind Erik of what he had to do to stay alive, if he actually listened to her once in a while.

It was good to see him in bed for a change. In the last week, Christine only saw Erik taking some short naps in uncomfortable positions. He was probably exhausted. He was bare faced, Christine conviced him to take the damn mask off at least to sleep. Sure, he wasn't good looking, but Christine really hated the mask. She hated how she could not read his expression when he wore it. And she knew Erik wore it to feel more like a "normal person", but sometimes she thought it had the opposite effect. She planned on getting rid completely of it someday, but knowing his stubborness, she needed to take baby steps. Maybe one day.

Maybe one day she could trespass the barriers he put around himself.

Erik wasn't asleep. Sleep has always been hard for him, and it was even more now that he didn't live alone.

He knew Christine was in the room, and did his best to stay still and keep his breathing even. He was good at pretending.

Things should be good now. They should be happy, living a dream life. Erik had money, and they had each other, and they were married. They had a nice house, Christine kept her job as a singer and not even the malicious gossips about her mysterious husband seemed to get in the way of her career.

Everything was perfect. That was what he had always wanted right?

The couple shared a room and a bed, but that was the most intimacy they had. Erik would never ask her for more. Christine did held his hand pretty often, and he didn't have any complaint about it. And that was it.

Erik liked taking care of the house while she was away. He had been doing it for years when living alone, and it was much better now that there was someone to notice it. A new sheet, a change in the position of the couches or a new decoration. Christine didn't always notice but when she did it made his day. They also had a beautiful garden, and Erik found taking care of the plants relaxing.

Yet, it wasn't a dream life. There was something off, floating in the air between them, a tension that they never mentioned but that Erik felt every moment of the day, and he was sure Christine felt it too.

He couldn't face her. Being with her was all he wanted but it also suffocated him. With guilt, with shame. It didn't matter what he did or how much he gave her, he knew it would never make up for everything she sacrificed to be there with him.

It wasn't on purpose, but he was avoiding her. He would pretend he didn't notice when Christine was around, that he was too focused on his work. What work really, he silently laughed to himself. Since they started living together he wasn't able to make anything that met his insanely high standarts. He avoided their room, and he avoided their bed most of all.

But Erik wouldn't tell her.

No. If it was up to him, she would never know about how it was eating him alive to have her tied to him forever. Because if she ever confirmed it, if he heard from her own lips how much it hurt her to be with him, it would kill him.

Sometimes, he thought that this would be the only way to give this story a happy ending.

Didn't he know the woman he married? Didn't he know that, though Christine feared the dark side he sometimes showed, she would have never let him have his way so easily if it was not her way too? He didn't.

Erik didn't know that Christine would have chosen him anyway, that her love was real and that it was not born of fear. He couldn't see it because he was too busy hating himself. That was all he was ever taught to do: to hate himself.

He was never taught how to be a husband.

But maybe one day he would know. Maybe one day that dream life wouldn't be just a dream. But for now, Erik pretended to be asleep until he heard the door closing. Christine left the room, satisfied. For now.