Kano, I have to say, I never knew that writing Twilight could actually be considered fun, but now I know. It has been great to do this collab, and I hope that your trusty readers will love reading this as much as I loved writing it with you. - kalebxdd
Kaleb, it is rare to find a writer as eloquent as you, and this isn't even your first language. Your writing constantly amazes (and amuses me). There's no one else I would rather commit murder with. -Kanotari
Alucard blinked his eyes as the bright sunlight poured through the glass. He sat up gingerly, rubbing his head. His brain felt like a hurricane had just passed through, and the feeling was enough to make him feel dizzy and disoriented for a few seconds. The man shook his head lightly and took a deep breath, coming slowly to his senses. Thinking clearly now he cast his gaze to his side.
Alucard stared through the windows, looking out a misty evergreen forest. Their thick and powerful stems were overgrown with the greenest of mosses, and the leaves high up in the air spread out into a lush green canopy. The trees stood tall and mighty with their wooden brethren, the sea of indestructible trunks never seeming to end. The vampire could swear that he'd never been here before, wherever he was. All he knew was his head was swimming and the last several hours were a blur.
He squinted, clenching his eyes to shield them from the light, cursing the sun. He could feel its soft and warm fingers brush over his form, leaving his skin to tingle with a slight burning sensation. The glaring light seemed even more blinding from this new vantage point. It took the vampire a minute to realize that not all of the uncomfortable glare was coming from outside. His eyebrows assumed a severe angle as he peered around the room for the source. It wasn't the wooden paneled walls or the lid of the grand piano. No, the light came from the most unlikely of sources.
The suns' rays danced and played around the pale washboard abs of a shirtless man staring at Alucard like he had just seen the devil himself. He couldn't have been older than nineteen years old, or so it looked on the surface. The young man's inky black eyes studied the ancient bloodsucker with interest as well as disgust.
"Who the hell is this joker?" demanded a voice from behind the sitting Hellsing operative. As Alucard soon learned, it belonged to a tall, dark, and loud-mouthed man protectively leering over a wide-eyed woman, her stomach bulging with pregnancy.
Finally taking an actual breath for the first time since his roommates had revealed themselves, The vampire's nostrils spread lightly and caught hold of a strong scent. It was an acrid, no, putrid and vile smell. It kept playing at his senses and made him feel sick to his stomach. The stench was obviously wavering off of the muscular young man who had been sitting behind him at first; Alucard was fairly certain that he would be able to smell him from a mile away.
Dogs...
"I... I am not sure Jacob," the pale man said cautiously. Alucard couldn't help but smirk as he noticed the man subtly moving to shield the mother-to-be. She placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Edward?" she whispered softly into his ear, as if demanding some sort of explanation from the bronze-haired man.
Edward? Alucard dug into his mind once more. Why did that name seem familiar?
"Don't worry Bella," he murmured back. "Sit down. I don't want you to strain yourself."
Alucard's lips twitched, revealing a toothy grin as he placed the names. The ancient vampire had to fight the urge to not howl in hysterical laughter. This was all just too perfect. He could feel that little flame inside of his chest flickering and dancing wildly, that little flame that always began to burn whenever the drawing of blood was soon to come.
He stood gingerly and leaned into the crook of the piano, crossing his arms over his chest. "I've heard a lot about you, Cullen." The mockery in his voice was dead obvious even to the deaf, its tone sneering and nearly acidic. When Integra had told him who he was to assassinate - Alucard himself preferred the word 'butcher' a lot more- he had almost scoffed at the head of the Hellsing organization. The mere thought of something like Edward even existing seemed like a big joke to him.
Edward dropped into a defensive crouch, his ears perked and his pitch-black orbs never leaving the man across from him, ready to strike should the need arise. "How do you know my name?"
"Well honestly the descriptions are quite accurate..." Alucard sighed, unable to keep a chuckle from escaping his throat at the mental image of Integra's face as she summed up the aspects of the Cullen boy's appearance.
"Who gave you my description?" the half-naked man hissed.
"Golden eyes, or black if you haven't been fed properly," the older vampire smirked as his eyes met Edward's. "And judging from those angry black beads in your skull I can only assume that you haven't had your grub yet." he smirked, laughing at the teen's astonishment.
"'Pointy teeth... sparkles in the sunlight..." Alucard failed to hide his utter disgust as his last words turned into a derisive snort. "I'm sorry. I just can't take you seriously."
"WHAT?!" Edward barked, his eyebrows knitting together in a furious frown. "Do you even know what I'm capable off? I would tear you to shreds without breaking a sweat."
The undead warrior chuckled again, nearly giggling in glee at Cullen's meaningless threats.
"Hush, hush now boy," He said as he tipped his giant red fedora a bit to the side, giving the exclamation an air of nonchalance. "That's not how your mother taught you to treat your guests, now is it?"
Edward's face went from angry to shocked, right back to aggressive. "I don't want to fight you, but I will if I have to. I'll only say this once: leave." His soft and silky voice was laced with venomous anger, but Alucard could easily see through the mask of confidence, spotting a frightened and angsty 'vampire' underneath.
The No-Life King chuckled softly, then devolved into an outright fit of maniacal laughter. His lips stretched over his gums, exposing his pointed canines. "Or what?"
"Or I'll make you," Edward hissed.
Alucard laughed, his dark baritone voice ringing from the vaulted ceilings. "They didn't mention your wicked sense of humor."
Edward growled deep in his throat, the sound of which would send chills down any mortal's spine. Alucard, however, was less impressed. Cullen's 'ferocious' growl reminded him more of a cat in heat than an angry lion.
"Oh..." Alucard realized. "You were serious!"
"This is no laughing matter," the pale man intoned. "Leave!"
While Edward's demand was still ringing through the room, the sparkling sunlight that had danced over his pale white form began to dissipate, shrouding the room in the darkness of a nonexistent eclipse. Dark figures curled around the bloodsucker's legs, draping around his form with their dark velvet embrace. A deep chuckle resounded from within Alucard's throat as the darkness began to take form around him. All the meanwhile the three other occupants of the small six-by-six room watched with bated breath.
The room grew darker as the shadows extended, appearing where no source of light could create them. They continued to grow, shrouding Alucard in the thick and impregnable veil of darkness, until at last a myriad of blood-red eyes blossomed across his figure to stare cruelly at the creature who dared to provoke their master. Through it all, Alucard simply laughed.
"Come on, boy!" the No-Life King growled, voice ringing with excitement. "Weren't you going to attack me? Make me leave?" His baritone voice had deepened even more, each word coming out as a snarl from some sort of ferocious beast, pointed shadow fangs bared in a mocking grin.
"Or were you going to leave that job to your friend over there?" the vampire cackled, the amusement clear in his voice when he noted that Cullen could feel his warm breath on the nape of his neck on each spoken word. "The one that smells like a dog that has been rolling around in his own shit for the past three days," he added with a scrunch of his nose.
Edward steeled himself and turned to the overgrown, tanned boy beside him. "Jacob, keep her safe," he murmured. Jacob nodded and removed his shirt, pulling the piece of thin cloth over his head and casting it to the side like an old dish rag.
"I have seen some unconventional tactics over the years, but this... this is a new one," Alucard scoffed, one eyebrow arched in curiosity. Even in the rage of battle, he couldn't help but stare incredulously as the teen calmly unbuttoned his baggy shorts and dropped them to the floor. He couldn't help but wonder why no one else in the room found the tanned boy's behavior strange. Was this a normal occurrence?
Naked at last, Jacob bent over and crouched on all fours. His form began to shimmer, and in a blink of the eye, a reddish-brown wolf stood in his place, oversized paws resting on the pile of discarded clothing. The true vampire could hear a rumbling coming from the hound's throat and he didn't fail to notice its upper lip twitching madly, ready to snap open and close its jaws in assault at any given second.
"Oh ho!" Alucard laughed. This certainly made things a lot more interesting. For as far as he was concerned he had crushed to last living werewolf to dust a proper century or two ago. "I thought I had finished of the last of your kind many years ago, but it appears that I finally have a new source of rugs."
The wolf snarled, flashing its canines. Then it barked; the beast was trying to communicate.
"You have a dog, Cullen? Well isn't that just precious!" Alucard sneered. "Perhaps I should introduce you to my dog..."
Seemingly out of nowhere, a deep rumble resounded through the open room, making every floorboard tremble underneath their feet. From the shadows stepped a hellish creature, a black dog, to use the term loosely. It was canid, yes, but the size of a horse with more eyes than a spider and more teeth than a shark.
"Ladies, meet Baskerville."
A drip of spittle fell from the corner of the hellhound's mouth, sizzling as it connected with the polished wood floor. The dog's owner giggled in glee as he watched the other three occupants of the room tremble in fear, their eyes following the trails from the hole in the floor. Its razor-sharp teeth gnashed as it emitted a chilling growl.
"I do apologize for him. You see, obedience school was a bit of a challenge for Baskerville," Alucard informed his nervous audience. "Apparently dog owners frown upon pets eating other pets."
As if to reinforce his master's statements, Baskerville began to bark ferociously. The No-Life King snapped his fingers, wordlessly letting the hellhound know to remain silent. The barking ceased, only to be replaced by a quiet yet menacing series of snarls.
"Now that leaves me with one dilemma," Alucard revealed his pointy fangs in a wide grin. "I can't seem to decide which of you three will be the pooch's next chew toy."
Said beast took a step forward, a demonic growl leaving its throat as its many eyes began to scan the potential prey. Bella trembled in fear as Baskerville's gigantic head invaded her personal space, stopping only a foot away from her, nostrils spread wide to catch the scent of fresh human blood. It shoved its cold, wet nose against the bare skin of the back of her hand. She shrieked in fear, pulling her foot away. Edward leapt between predator and prey, arms spread wide in a defensive manner and beads of sweat rolling from his brow. Baskerville responded in kind, growling at the pale man and preparing to lunge.
Its muscles twitched as its body prepared to pounce on its hapless prey when a high-pitched howl reached its ears. The hellhound turned its head frantically to see Jacob the werewolf standing only a few feet away, his neck hairs straight on end. Razor-sharp canines flashed as the wolf barked then leapt into the air with his jaws spread wide.
In a fraction of a millisecond, more happened than any human mind would be able to register. As Jacob jumped at Baskerville, Alucard burst out into a fit of maniacal laughter, delighted to see the teen wolf's stupidity. Bella screamed loudly with concern for her best friend and Edward tried to shield his wife's perspective of the whole ordeal with his sparkling body.
The snap of a pair of jaws resonated through the air, followed by a pained yelp. Werewolf Jacob fell to the wooden floor board below with a loud thud, crying sounds escaping his muzzle in between short and terrified breaths. A red gaping wound was visible on his flank where Baskerville's teeth sliced right through the thick layer of rusty brown fur. The edges were smoking slightly where the hellhound's venom seared the flesh.
The black canid returned to Alucard's side, its mouth open wide as it breathed in anxiety, enabling the three teenagers to see a few droplets of blood dripping from the pointy white teeth. Like an obedient house pet, the gigantic dog sat down at his master's command.
"There, there, Baskerville," Alucard said with a degree of affection is his low voice. "Take it easy now, boy. You wouldn't want to spoil all the fun by killing him right on the spot, would you?"
As the shadow creature replied with an affirmative howl the faces of the Forks teens grew darker and darker. Whatever was going to happen next, the odds certainly didn't seem to be in their favor. Their chances of escape were pretty much nonexistent. Furthermore, they had no idea what the vampire in the long red overcoat could possibly have in store for them.
The werewolf tried to his best to rise to his feet, but fell down with a whimper after managing to stand on quivering legs for a few seconds. Alucard laughed at Jacob's feeble struggles, the sound of his voice menacing enough to make every hair on a person's skin stand on end.
"It seems as though your pup is hurt, Cullen," the No-Life King sneered. Without giving his opponents any further notice he turned around to stare out of the window, adjusting his glasses as his amber eyes scanned the forests through the oversized windows.
"Maybe we should take this fight outside, my legs are beginning to cramp in -" He never got to finish his sentence. In what was probably only a quarter of a second the Hellsing agent had heard the soft footsteps behind him, informing him that one of his foes was on the move. He sailed to the left without breaking a sweat, just in time to see Edward fly by with a fist balled, an expression of pure astonishment on his face. Apparently he hadn't considered the possibility of missing his target.
Alucard smiled; these fools always underestimated him. Making use of the momentum he shot out a gloved fist at lightning speed so fast the Cullen boy barely had time to see it coming. The No-Life King savored the expression on Edward's face as his gloved fist collided with his pale cheek hard, the sheer force sending the soon-to-be father crashing through the window and out into the forest.
Glass shattered in every possible direction, raining tiny shimmering crystals down on the company still inside the extravagant house. The ancient vampire was pleased to see Edward bounce off the ground and slowly roll to a stop further in the distance. Swinging one of his tall legs out of the windowsill before the other, he made his way outside and slowly began to trot in the direction of his victim.
A good hundred feet away or so, Edward crawled back to his feet, rubbing the spot where Alucard's fist had impacted. He clearly hadn't expected his opponent to have such strength. The copper-haired bloodsucker frantically turned his head from side to side, scanning his surroundings in the hopes of finding something that would put him at an advantage. The only thing that seemed to be of any help was the sun, judging by the way it softly sizzled at the No-Life King's skin, not that he appeared to be phased by it.
Cullen remained frozen in place as he watched the true vampire reach for his hips, throwing back the folds of his overcoat as he did so. Two leather holsters were strapped to his sides, a faint metallic glow reflecting the sunlight off of the two handguns. In a flash, Alucard pulled one out, the oversized barrel pointed right at Edward's heart. He continued to step forward until he was in human earshot.
"Cullen," Alucard said, his voice mockingly polite. "I have another friend I'd like you to meet. Allow me to introduce Mr. Jackall." The dark-haired vampire looked at the weapon and chuckled, obviously baring some kind of affection for it. "Although Mr. Jackall might not be as prone to bite as Baskerville, I can assure you that he is just as likely to blow a fuse."
The count turned his gun sideways, his head titled a tad to the left as he eyed the sparkling vampire over the barrel of his gun like a curious dog. The look of absolute dread on the teenager's face made him want to lick his lips in delight.
A loud growl filled the afternoon skies. Alucard rapidly turned his head, never taking his aim off of target as he did so. A millisecond later he stood eye to eye with a snarling werewolf, canines bare and neck fur straight on end.
The ancient one of the fighters noted how Jacob was still trembling on his legs, obviously still shaken from the earlier confrontation with Baskerville. If that foolish boy thought that he would be faster than the No-Life King, then he would turn out to be sadly disappointed.
"Jacob!" Edward shouted at the wolfboy. "Is Bella still inside?" He sighed in relief when the Quileute nodded. As soon as the monster stepped outside into the sunlight, the summoned hellhound evaporated into nothingness. The pale teen smirked; apparently his opponent's dog wasn't a fan of the sun.
"Yes, yes. The lady is safe and sound," Alucard said as he gave the werewolf a pitiful look. "Unfortunately that can't be said of her beloved husband!"
A loud bang resounded, accompanied by a blinding white flash as Jackal fired, bullet heading straight for Edward Cullen. The pale young man was only able to react in the knick of time and dodged the flying projectile by a hair's width. He turned around just in time to see the bullet collide with a tree trunk, causing the whole lower part of the wooden giant to explode outward like a bomb had gone off. Jacob let out something that resembled a whimper as his sensitive canine ears registered the sound.
Edward turned to see a hailstorm of splintered wood whipping around the trio of combatants. If he had responded a moment later, he would've been dead by now and it would've been his blood that would've poured down on the grass below their feet.
Alucard's deep-red orbs slowly gazed from side to side, the glimmer of joy in their pupils shielded from his opponents by his thick yellow glasses. This wasn't a matter of life and death; it was simply a fun game of cat and mouse. All that remained for him to do was to decide which one of the vermin he would exterminate first.
Silence fell and the tension which came to life could be sliced at with a knife, each party waiting for the other to make a move. At long last, the wolf boy slammed his heavy paws into the soil below and sprang into action, jaws open wide and ready to snap closed around the ancient vampire's neck. Edward immediately followed suit and was by Alucard's side in a flash.
The two boys reveled in the crunching of bones, as the young vampire ripped Alucard's arm off with glee. Jacob sank his razor-sharp teeth deep into the Hellsing agent's throat and jerked his large muzzle to the side, ripping away a large chunk of flesh along with the better part of the man's windpipe. They withdrew for a second to watch the show as Alucard stepped forward on heavily trembling legs. Edward's remaining hand reached for the other vampire's throat, satisfied by the string of gurgling noises which passed through his lips. A harsh shove to the shoulder forced the No-Life King to his knees, leaving him staring up into charcoal-colored irises and set fangs as large as his own face.
Cullen smirked as he gripped the No-Life King's head and placed a foot against his blood-soaked chest. In a fluid motion he jerked his arms back until he heard the gratifying crunching noise he had been waiting for, delighted to see Alucard's head come loose from his torso. He was certain that the black-haired bloodsucker had wanted to scream in his final breathing seconds, but the amber liquid had flooded his mouth and had left him unable to utter even as much as a shriek.
With a conceited smile, he bent over and grabbed the disembodied head by its raven strands, holding it up to his face. The round yellow glasses were on crooked and the mouth was open in a soundless scream, something that pleased Edward to no end. Blood seeped from the giant wound where a neck used to be, staining the Cullen teen's shoes and pants.
"That's what you get for putting Bella in danger!" he shouted at those frozen features. He casually tossed the head backwards, listening to the dull thud it made as it hit the ground and rolled away. He then turned to his comrade, smiling with relief, and watched the large werewolf tremble, ready to revert back to his human shape.
It started quietly. Jacob's ears stood straight up as the haunting sound reached them. Maniacal laughter filled the air, causing Jacob to freeze, still in wolf form, and snarl in the direction of Alucard's severed head. Edward turned around rapidly to see the amber eyes staring back at him in glee, mouth open wide in a demonic grin. The head was laughing at them, mocking them even while it had been ripped from its torso. Pointy white teeth shimmered in the sunlight as Alucard continued to howl in laughter.
"Did you fools really believe that you could kill me that easily?" the No-Life King sneered. His adversaries turned at the sound of wings flapping, their eyes turned the size of dinner plates as they saw the swarm of thousands of bats flying straight for them. Edward blocked his face with his hands and Jacob began to bark ferociously, but the little winged bloodsuckers sailed past them, instead opting to envelop every part of Alucard's decimated body. The swarm converged, and the laughter grew while the two supernatural teenagers watched. The bats circled around in a cyclone of wings, merging back together in one pitch-black sea of shrieks and and screeches.
Slowly the bats began to disappear, flying out in every direction before shooting up and vanishing out of sight high above the treetops. And when the last one was gone Alucard stood there, large hat nonchalantly tipped and Jackall in hand.
"It is simply marvelous to see the looks on your faces," the leech said, amusement in his baritone voice. "You actually assumed that you could kill me. How endearing. Too bad that you were not aware that you are dealing with the One True Vampire! Something as foolish as a stake through my heart will not kill me! Ripping my limbs off, useless. Shredding my flesh, pointless. Puny little pests like yourself will never be able to defeat the most powerful vampire that has ever seen the light of day!"
Edward's face was as immobile as stone at the hate-filled comment. "We'll see about that!" He growled as he bolted forward with a speed that the human eye couldn't follow.
Alucard merely grinned as he saw the streak of sparkles heading for his left flank. The old vampire began to laugh when he heard the sound of heavy paws hammering down on the loamy soft bed of leaves on the forest floor. The pup was sailing straight for his right side, only a split second behind his ally.
Right before Cullen was about to strike, the real vampire sank to his knees and swept his leg out, spinning a full three hundred and sixty degrees and hitting the running teenager in the back of his legs. Edward was lifted off his feet like a flower petal in a hurricane, letting out a shocked gasp as he felt the earth below his feet disappear. It was so easy for Alucard to grab the boy's ankle that he didn't even have to break off his perfectly round spin.
Jacob saw what was about to happen half a second before he was by the No-Life King's side, but it wasn't soon enough. He didn't have time to hit the brakes, never mind jump away, as Alucard swung Edward over his furry head in mid-spin, the whole motion so fluid that it couldn't have been done by a human. The werewolf could only brace himself for the impact, but the force which Alucard used to hammer the copper-haired vampire straight into his unprotected back was enough to make him howl in pain. Edward cried out in agony as he was tossed aside by the enemy like a rag doll.
The wolf yelped like a beaten puppy as he tried to struggle to his feet. The incredible force of the attack had probably broken a few bones in his spine and every movement set his nerves aflame, causing him to whimper in pain again. Cullen, too, was having difficulty in finding his footing with a white-gloved hand clutching his shattered shoulder.
Both of Alucard's opponents were resilient by their very nature. The No-Life King smirked; he would fix that. Sure enough, the eternal nineteen-year-old was the first to his feet. He growled as he eyed his opponent, but his eyes spoke of pure desperation and fear. Jacob followed soon after, every exhale an angry and low snarl from between his razor-sharp canines.
"So," Alucard almost giggled as his gaze darted from, taking in the damage he had inflicted with pleasure. "Want to try that again and see if it will work this time? Or should I be a gentleman and do the work myself?"
The elder vampire turned to Jacob, his long red overcoat swaying behind him, echoing the motion. His lip twitched and half a smile crept over his face as he saw the werewolf trembling on his paws. "Do you want to be first?" Alucard queried, raising an eyebrow from behind his thick yellow glasses.
"Or would you like volunteer?" He cackled in glee, spinning around, coming eye to eye with Cullen in another flurry of red cloth. "Come on, sparkles! Hit me! I thought you were a vampire," he tutted.
Of course he had heard the dog running at him; the sound of those giant paws hitting the ground with every step certainly wasn't quiet. Yet, he preferred to play the fool and act like he was unaware of the rust-colored wolf breathing down his neck. The feeling of pointy teeth sinking into his flesh felt more like a funny tickle than excruciating pain, but just for laughs he decided to howl loudly. It would be such a pleasure to wipe that content smirk from Cullen's face, and that confident smile that told Alucard that his glittery friend was under the assumption that they had won this fight.
Alucard dropped to one knee, staying in character just a little longer. It would make for quite a show, he knew, and entertaining had always been a hobby of his. Then, when he felt Jacob's giant muzzle swing from side to side to tear his shoulder off, he retaliated.
He threw his own weight around with great ease, rolling over and pinning the rabid dog beneath him. The beast tried to get free by jerking his body around with all of his might, but the leech was too strong; there was simply no escape.
Jacob's breath became shallow and panicked as one white glove moved around his throat and the other found the back of his head. The last thing he heard was a soft chuckle that left Alucard's lips.
Cullen looked like he might vomit as Alucard snapped the wolf's neck like it was a twig. The sound of cracking and snapping bones rang through the maze of trees, as well as one final howl from his companion. His huge furry legs kicked only once before going limp.
Alucard began to laugh as he crawled off his latest victim. Edward took a step back, his entire form quaking in anguish. The leaves below the Original's feet crunched softly with every step that he took, his coat brushing past his legs.
Cullen took a step back for every one Alucard made in his direction, looking almost like a perverse tango as the distance between their bodies rapidly closed. The copper-haired vampire clutched his shoulder in pain. He had to get out of here, and quick! But there was still his pregnant wife to think of, so he couldn't just make a run for it. There was simply no way out.
Thud.
Edward's non-beating heart was suddenly lodged in his throat as he felt his back connect with something solid. He dared to peek between his eyelids and was relieved to see it was only a giant oak. There was one thing that did concern him though.
Alucard was gone. In what could've been nothing more than half a second of disorientation, that monster had vanished from sight, sound and smell, leaving not a single trace behind.
The No-Life King's echoed through the trees. "Three... two... one... Ready or not, here I come."
The glittering vampire stepped away from the tree and scanned his surroundings as quick as he could. He had to get to Bella and bring her to safety, and quick. He took another step and decided that it was safe enough for the moment. Cullen was about to make a run for it when he felt two strong arms sliding around his torso, and then the feel of cold steel under his chin.
Alucard chuckled at his own wit. "The police girl did say this hide and seek game was fun. I should have taken her word for it. Too bad that all of that glitter and shine made it so easy for me to find you."
The eternal vampire pressed Jackall's barrel a little closer Edward's throat.
"It's so sad that your kind doesn't bleed when you kill them," he nearly whispered. "Red remains the most beautiful of all colors..."
Click.
Later on Alucard would decide that firing Mr. Jackall so close next to his ears was something that he should avoid next time. A loud bang resounded through the woods, little bits and pieces of Edward flying around like debris in a hurricane. The 'vampire's' nearly headless body dropped to the soil below, lifeless.
And then he laughed.
But he wasn't the only one laughing. A soft, silvery voice laughed along with him, dancing around him on the wind. He looked around in surprise.
"Look at him, laughing in his sleep," the voice said.
Sleep? He wasn't asleep. That was preposterous. He snorted at the ridiculous notion.
"And he snorts too," said another voice, clearly amused.
Alucard paused. There was something oddly familiar about this voice, and the other voice too now that he thought about it. "Come out!" he called. "Face me!"
"Aw!" the first voice giggled. "He thinks he's fighting someone!"
The second voice sighed. "Enough of this. We have places to go, things to do! Wake him up."
Alucard was aware of a sharp pain in his shoulder, though no one was in the clearing with him. He spun around. Had he missed something?
"Master? We have a mission," came the first voice again.
Master? Only one person called him that... His forehead lit up as something crashed into it. Instinctively, his hand shot out and grabbed the offending attacker.
"Get your hands off of me, you vampiric asshole!" the voice barked.
Wait! That voice! He would know it anywhere!
"Integra," he greeted, slowly opening his eyes. He sighed heavily as the bloody clearing faded away, replaced with the familiar basement he spent his nocturnal hours in. His master and his apprentice stared at him, hands frozen centimeters from his body. That explained the pains; leave it to the police girl to poke a sleeping monster.
"Well Master," the young blonde smiled at him. "It sounds like you had a fun dream."
Alucard returned the smile. "Seras, you don't even know the half of it."