The beat was all in her head, as were the lyrics, but Penelo was sure that everyone else could hear too. She'd asked Vaan before, could he hear the music when she danced? Vaan thought her delusional, while Reks gently told her that, no, the music couldn't be heard, but that doesn't mean that it didn't exist. That made Penelo smile, and she was determined to make him hear it so she danced, and danced, and danced all night.
But Reks wasn't around to dance for anymore. Reks wasn't around to kiss her knee, or push Vaan into the fountain, or hold Penelo's hand when she was afraid. Now it was just Vaan, who only watched the other girls dance because they were pretty and she was just Penelo. Vaan wouldn't kiss her scraped knee, he'd just slap at it, and if she were afraid then he'd snicker. Though he did do a pretty good at pushing himself in the fountain.
He couldn't hear the music, but she could, and that was good enough. It sang of stars, and laughter, and love, and heat, and fireflies, and the sun, and the moon when it swelled full. Penelo danced like the music told her to, she danced, letting the sun kiss her skin and the moon wash its beams over her, turning everything vaporous.
But now she danced in the firelight most of the time. Even though she was on a big, world-saving journey, she knew that one day she'd return to dancing. So she practiced her moves like she practiced her spells, and sometimes she made new routines. It was tiresome, and fatigued her when she should be sentient, but stamina was now a part of Penelo as much as the music inside of her was.
Now it sang of open skies, and clouds, and oceans, and danger, and monsters, and sand, and fires, and magick, and temples, and flirting with danger. The fire gave everything an ashen glow, and it warmed her face in a way that the sun never could. Her companions watched on with modest admiration, and Penelo distended at the thought that she was best and something and that maybe they envied that the tiniest bit.
Once, when she was young, she, Vaan, Reks, and her middle brother Hao were wandering in the bazaar. The boys were impressed by the large swords, and shimmering blades, and those axes that could chopsomebody'sheadoffinasingleswing, but Penelo couldn't take her eyes off the jeweled necklace that hung in the alongside stand. It sparkled in the noon light, its green, and blue, and red, and purple facets sending shimmering reflections all over the place. Penelo wanted that necklace, she yearned for it, even just to reach out growing hand and brush the stones that she'd never get to wear. Such was made for a princess, not a young girl with tufts of blonde pigtails who was loosing her baby fat.
"Whatcha you looking at, Penny?" Reks placed a cool hand on her shoulder and looked up. He clicked his tongue to call the attention of the merchant, and inquired about the price. The merchant, skeptic about the little boy buying expensive jewelry, replied, but wouldn't let Reks or Penelo touch it.
500 Gil was a lot. Penelo's face fell at the price, but she turned as not to show Reks her disappointment. None of them could afford that, not even if they put their money together. "S'ok, Reks, lets just go look at something else."
Reks turned from the merchant's booth and back to the boys looking at cool weapons. He joined in their banter about swords and axes, and those spiky things that looked really cool. Penelo halfheartedly commented, her eyes still darting to that pretty necklace sometimes.
When she went back the next week, intent on just looking at it again, the necklace was gone. It had probably been sold to the princess or some pretty Archadian woman with more Gil than Penelo could ever imagine.
She forgot about that necklace pretty quickly, because soon her brothers were leaving to join the war, and Penelo couldn't be bothered with such petty things when she had to start taking care of her family. She began to dance then, and that's when she began to hear that beautiful melody in her head. Reks always watched her dance, and it seemed that he was hanging around more and more lately.
There was talk of a morbid disease spreading through desert outposts, but the children didn't pay it much attention. It was just Penelo, Vaan, and Reks now, because her brothers were gone and the names Yuji, Hao, and Peitro were just afterthoughts now. Now it was the three of them, and they explored places that Penelo's brothers would have never let her go. They drew sand pictures in the desert, and played hide-and-go-seek in the storage tunnels under the town. The large doors were dead giveaways of position, because of the way they squeaked, and soon they knew all of the stairwell positions and secret exits.
That was the year that boys' parents fell ill. The malady was spreading like wildfire through Rabanastre, and had been dubbed 'The Plague'. Penelo didn't know much about it, except that there wasn't a cure. She watched her best friends' parents fall from it, and soon the streets were less crowded. The biggest blow to Rabanastre, though, was the death of its Queen. There was a big funeral parade through the streets. Penelo wondered at this, because by definition funerals were supposed to be happy proceedings. But ponderous thoughts were the furthest things from her mind when she was able to catch a glimpse of both the young Princess Ashelia and the Captain Basch, who she had a crush on.
Penelo was the victim of a lot of crushes in her lifetime. The longest lasting was her crush on Reks, though she'd never mention it to him. He didn't know how she swooned when he laughed, or how her mouth smiled when his did. He mother told her that she was beautiful, and that Reks would be lucky to have her. Penelo rolled her eyes because she knew that it was just an unrequited infatuation and nothing more. Penelo would try not to think about the way that he was laying beside her because there wasn't enough room in the house for all of them and they were only still innocent children in her father's eyes. Innocent children… Penelo was unhappy with the term now that she was old enough to have rosy cheeks and slightly swelling breasts. And Reks was growing in his peach fuzz, but still their maturity wasn't an issue.
The war came that year. And suddenly Penelo wasn't the cute little girl with electric blonde pigtails, rosy cheeks, and swelling breasts who danced better than anyone in the bazaar. Reks's peach fuzz was growing, and even Vaan's voice seemed to have downgraded a pitch. Now Reks had a man's muscles, instead of sinewy hands and bony knees. Vaan's abs developed, and his eyes shone with a newfound manhood. Suddenly they were no longer three kids who spent their days making sand mounds and drying up desert slugs. Suddenly, they were orphans.
Now Penelo's head sang of war, and pain, and blood, and loss, and sweat, and tears, and hugs, and rain, and gunshots, and bleak skies. And with this playing in her head she couldn't dance. Now the best dancer was Jilly, who was two years older and part of a family. Reks consoled her, told her that if she danced then she'd always have hope. And when he wrapped his arms around her, Penelo believed it. She could maintain herself, she could believe.
In perseverance, there is hope.
That's what she told Reks the day he went off to war. He gave her a hug, and, to her utter disbelieve/pleasure, a long kiss. Penelo squinted to keep the tears away, and just ran her hands down his cheeks. Reks took them in his own and Penelo couldn't help but noticing how different they'd grown. One small, pale, and smooth grown; the other lanky, dark, and calloused. Reks told her to go to the place they stayed and remove the handkerchief from beneath his mat. Inside, she'd find something special. He told her that he'd planned on giving it to her one day, but he feared that there would be no more. He gave her another kiss and left, because the army wouldn't wait for him.
Penelo's heart sang of love, and kisses, and presents, and secrets, and crushes, and heartbeats, and butterflies.
Her breath hitched when she saw it, a jeweled necklace with stones of green, and blue, and red, and purple. She fingered it, letting the thin chain run like silk through her fingers. It was a perfect as it had been all those years ago in the noon light of the busy bazaar, and the only thing that Penelo could think to do was take it outside to see it sparkle. Reks had gotten it for her, one last gift, to give to her one day. Except he might not have anymore days, and so she'd get it now, instead of when he had planned.
It wasn't just an unrequited infatuation anymore, but a blossoming pool of feelings and emotions and sadness, too, because it wouldn't be given time to blossom, but instead would be chopped down early.
She was dancing when she heard the news. She'd stopped her arms in midair, as was part of the routine, just long enough to hear someone whisper the grave news. Penelo's arms dropped, and her head drooped, and she darted out of the crowd. No one expected less of her, and soon she was running all over to find Vaan and put an end to this nasty anecdote.
But Vaan wasn't denying anything, and he had that look on his face, the one that confirmed her fears, and Penelo took off running. She set out in a dead run, for wherever she could get to, and ended up in the Sandsea, where Tomaj gave her a free glass of milk. That's when she heard the story surrounding his death. Reks, her Reks, had fought bravely for the king, fought bravely for the Order, until a traitor had cut his life short. Captain Basch fon Ronsenburg couldn't have known that Reks had a brother waiting for his return. He couldn't possibly have known that there was a girl waiting for Reks to come back so that she could thank him for the necklace, that she wanted to hold his hand and smell his breath just so that her head would stop spinning.
Penelo was only slightly aware that she was still dancing in front of the firelight, that her dip into the past wasn't reality, and that said Captain was watching her, along with the rest of their misfit band. Penelo stopped with a swift bow, and a smile, one she'd learned to give no matter what. Basch clapped for her and scooted over on the fallen tree branch so that she could sit. Penelo gladly obliged, and silently wondered if Basch knew, if Reks had mentioned her. She had the strong urge to ask, but didn't want to hear the wrong answer. She mindlessly traced the necklace underneath her clothes, an involuntary reaction to thinking or hearing his name.
Now it sang of love, and loss, and grief, and butterflies, and the open sky, and fireflies, and secrets, and presents, and pain, and tears, and gunshots, and royalty, and sky pirates, and stars, and heat, and the sun and moon, and memories. Everything inside of her sang, sang of him, sang for him, and, illuminated by whitewashed moonbeams, she began to dance again.
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This was written listening to music by Anna Nalick, because she's amazing like that.
I've gotten over my initial annoyance of Penelo, and have begun to like her. I really like this too.
School is out, so hopefully I'll be able to write more than I normally do.
So please review, and let me know if you liked it. I know that the title is horrible. Any suggestions would be appreciated!