I love stupid boys. The way their too-shaggy hair falls in their eyes. And the stupid sentences they repeat over and over again. And their jokes. They try to make you laugh, but their jokes are so stupid that you laugh because of how dumb they are. I love that they will do anything that you ask them to. They're like an obedient dog. A glass of water? No problem. How about kiss? Coming right up. Part of the reason I love being with Eric and Brad is because of how stupid they are. They're the kind of guy you don't have to put up any kind of front when you're around them. Or you can if you want to. I love doing that. What's the best is when I try to fool them. I go totally Julie Cooper on them one minute, and I'm super nice and sugary the next. I love telling them crazy stories about things I didn't actually do. One time I told them I jumped off the roof of the mall as a dare, or about "that time I shoplifted from Cartier". They believed both.

I swear they think I'm crazy.

But that's why they love being with me. I'm what they can't be. Crazy. In truth, you'll find I'm actually not that crazy. But to them, I'm like a movie. They can see me for two or three hours and add excitement to their lives, and then they go home and it's back to their boring, normal-except-for-the-whole-gay-dad-thing lives. It's funny that all the other girls at Harbor would kill for Eric and Brad to even look at them. If those girls even knew how dumb those kids were. I guess Eric and Brad are kind of cute. But more in a "oh your little brother's so cute!" than a "ohhh, can I have your number?" way. Sure, I've hooked up with Brad 2 times, but it was boring to tell you the truth. Making out with a water polo player who has massive arms like the Brawny paper towel guy isn't exactly fun. It may seem like I'm try to be all nonchalant saying "oh yeah, I kissed him, but it wasn't that great", but trust me, it wasn't great. But what can I say. That's why stupid boys were put on this earth: to make us laugh and for the occasional hookup.

But not all stupid guys are actually stupid. But a good deal of them are. And then there are the guys who seem stupid. And you realize that these are the guys that slip into your life for just a little while. Short enough that things don't get too serious, but long enough that you know you'll never forget their name. They aren't stupid. Not at all. They're the guys you think actually have the potential of "love". Not like real, real love, but definitely just more than normal lust. Your conversations are about more than just where they should meet you tomorrow to hookup. They actually compliment you. God, I'm so cheesy. I can't stop thinking about the time we were walking on the pier. And he turned to me and said how pretty my eyes were. And its all my fault. It's funny to think. Kaitlin Cooper. What a loser. She can't stop crying about some guy who never even cared about her. That's right. I was so stupid. He didn't see me. He saw Marissa. And now what's worse, I even feel a little better that she died. Not in a freaky sadist way, but that I know I'll never have to compete with her again. It's like everything's at peace. Both of them. Maybe they're together now or something. In heaven or shit.

What am I talking about?