One Unspoken Word

He was sprawled on the ground, his body and his pride aching. Lily's eyes were filled with concern, but he ignored her, furious that she had interfered. Instead, he looked up into James Potter's smug face and yelled,"I don't need help from a filthy little Mudblood like her!"

Then everything else fell away, and Lily filled his vision. Hereyes grew cold, so cold they began to burn him, shatter him, freeze him to ice…"Fine, I won't bother in the future" ... He was dead, dying ... And she was gone...

Severus bolted awake.

Dark...bedroom...no blankets.

His hands were shaking.

He rubbed his eyes desperately, trying to erase that image of Lily's eyes searing him with hatred.

That wasn't what happened. It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't.

He checked beside him. Sure enough, rich red hair spiked out messily from a nest on the other side of the bed. Said mess of blankets was stirring.

"Sev, what…"

"Just a dream, Lily. Go back to sleep."

The blankets mumbled, "Okay," and settled back down.

Fifteen minutes later, Severus still could not clear his mind. No matter how hard he tried, his heartrate would not go down and his breathing would not steady. He reached over to the mess of blankets and shook them gently. "Lil? Lily, I need you to wake up. Lil…Lil, I…I need you."

Something in his words must have pierced the fog around her, for soon she was up, disheveled and bleary-eyed, but awake. "Sev, what's the matter?"

He didn't answer right away, instead taking in Lily in her entirety. Tangled red hair. Sleepy eyes. A crease from her pillow traced on her cheek. She was real. Dream Lily was just that – a dream.

"You remember our Defense Against the Dark Arts written OWL? That bright day down by the lake?" he went on. Lily nodded. "Tell me what happened after it."

"Sev, what…"

"Just do it."

"Well, I went down to the shore with Mary and some other girls and started wading in the lake. The next thing I know, I hear yells, and I see James Potter levitating you over by the big beech tree. I rush over and yell at James to let you down. He starts preening and dumps you on the ground behind him. We started arguing and you got defensive, saying that you didn't need my help. And then you paused, almost as if you stopped yourself from saying something. Then I hexed James and Sirius, and we walked off."

Severus released the breath he didn't realize he had been holding in. It had been a dream. Nothing more.

"What was your dream?" Lily asked, passing over some of the blankets she had stolen while he dreamed.

"Exactly what you described. Except that I said the word I held back…and you never forgave me for it."

Her eyes widened, and she touched his face. He couldn't stop himself from flinching, and she withdrew her hand. "Sev, I would never do that."

"Except you did. You left me, and every day felt like a waking hell, with no escape but death. And I think I was responsible for your death."

She held his face gently and this time did not let go. Severus could not suppress his trembling. Gentle human contact was still new to him: the violence associated with touch was far more familiar. She continued holding him, brushing away his hair, tracing his cheekbones and brows. She brought her thumbs beneath his eyes and wiped away the tears he hadn't felt fall.

She brought his forehead to her own. "I am here, Severus. I will always be here."

He took a deep breath, steeling himself. "Always?"

"Always."

VVV

Hello all! A plot bunny bit me and wouldn't let me go. I'm going to be perfectly honest - I have no idea where this is going. I have a dozen ideas for one shots in this AU universe, but whether they'll get written or not is a different story (HA! Writer pun!). Anyway, let me know what you think in a review. There may be more of this in the future!

Kisses and Dark Side chocolate,

- Shield Maiden

As of 7/10/15: I have updated this oneshot following the advice of the brilliant author Arinus. If you haven't checked out her profile, do it now. Seriously, do it now! She is the author of one of the best Snape-centric AUs I have ever read. And it has a sequel! They're titled The Blood in Your Veins and It's All For You, respectively. I have already written the next two oneshots in this series, but I want to go over them some more to make sure my Snape remains as in-character as possible. (Yeah, I know it's an AU, but what's the extent to which he would have retained his Snape-ness if things had turned out differently? Philosophical musings for a Friday night...) Love you all! Pleeeezzzze review!