OK, this idea kind of came out of left field. I have no idea what made me think of it, but it took hold, and I just had to write it!

Summary: Complete AU imagining of TC's past/childhood. Without giving too much away, TC's mother died giving birth to him, and his father was abusive. He managed to overcome all kinds of odds to get out from under that past, and he thought he had put it behind him. Until his father returns.

Timeline wise, this is probably early to mid-season two. Jordan's not pregnant, but Chavez is gone. Gwen and Kenny are a couple. Rick has left Drew.

The title for this story comes from If I Die Young, by The Band Perry (one of my personal favorite songs ever, and sort of some inspiration behind this story).

Disclaimer: I don't own The Night Shift

It was just barely eleven o'clock, and TC already couldn't wait for the shift to be over.

He had woken up with a huge headache, and despite downing as much Advil as was possible without doing any actual harm to his body, it wasn't going away.

The shift itself wasn't too bad – typical college idiots, car accidents, bar fights; one group who felt the need to recreate the Battle of San Jacinto, for reasons TC had expended a considerable amount of effort trying not to ask about.

But the kid from two nights ago was still unconscious, and try as he might, TC couldn't stop his mind from wandering up to that room in the ICU every time he had a free minute.

Everyone had told him not to dwell on it; that everything would be fine, and the kid's father had been arrested. That it was over.

It made TC want to punch someone. He hated when people said those things; they were the words of someone who had absolutely no idea what he or she was talking about.

It wouldn't be over for Kevin. Yes, his father had been arrested, but now what? As far as TC knew, the kid had no other family. He would end up in the system, and what if he wasn't able to find a good home? Kevin was about to face a world of unknowns. At least with his father, he had known what to expect. He had been able to find a rhythm that maybe didn't work great, but it had been a sense of normal.

Now what? Another home, another set of rules to learn, and what if they were worse than his father?

TC grimaced as he leaned against the wall of the deserted corridor, trying to collect himself. He didn't usually get like this for every abuse case, but sometimes, when the situation was so similar to his own, he couldn't help but flash back.

TC had been fifteen, when the world came crashing down around him.

For fifteen years, life had been simple; OK, not exactly simple, but routine. TC knew where he stood, and what was expected of him: don't draw attention, keep your head down, don't talk back, don't yell or scream, and above all, don't tell anyone.

It wasn't ideal, but TC knew that it was always his fault anyway, so why argue?

He shouldn't have done it. He should have just kept going by marking down the days until he turned eighteen, and could leave.

But there's only so many times you can be told that it's your fault your mother's dead, that you'll never amount to anything, and that you're nothing more than a waste of space, before you snap.

TC didn't know if he had actually been trying to kill himself, but it had felt so good to take those pills, drink that vodka, and just let it all slip away. For the first time in fifteen years, his father's voice had been drowned out. For the first time in fifteen years, he hadn't felt worthless.

Of course Thad had found him. He ended up at the hospital, and TC remembered very clearly hearing the argument between his father, Thad, and the doctor. The latter two wanted to keep TC for observation, but his father ended up signing him out AMA, and he was back in hell.

It was only a few weeks after that when everything changed.

TC wasn't sure his father had really meant to go so far. It had been a normal after-dinner 'lesson' in his true worth, but his father hadn't stopped when he normally did. He just kept going. When the knife came out, the part of TC that was still conscious knew that this was it: he wasn't going to stop this time.

The police had come shortly after TC had passed out, and when he had woken up in the hospital a day later, Thad was there, telling him that everything was going to be all right. He would never leave his little brother again.

If only it had been that simple. The fact of the matter was, Thad was only eighteen. The stupid judge wouldn't give him custody, and so TC had ended up shuffled off to a foster home.

He made it approximately five months, before Thad found out about asshole father number two. TC had thought about telling him before, but it just didn't seem necessary.

It wasn't like his foster father ever made him lose consciousness. And his foster father had never broken any bones, so TC honestly just didn't think he needed to tell anyone. It was better than his father, after all.

But then Thad saw the bruises, and made TC tell the truth. And when he was finished, Thad just gave him a hug and spent the rest of the night apologizing. He had promised that he would take care of his brother, and he had failed, again.

Once the pity party was over, Thad got serious and worked out a plan to get his brother out. He would never trust anyone to take care of TC again. From now on, he would do it himself, come hell or high water.

Thad knew that TC was smart. Even with all the crap going on at home, he had always been at the top of his class in school. So Thad got TC a couple of prep books, and told him to start studying for the GED. TC had been confused, but it didn't take long to figure out Thad's plan.

He took the test a few weeks before his sixteenth birthday, and had a court date set for the actual day of his birthday.

Thad had a friend who was pre-law, and had managed to convince his friend to get one of his professors to represent them in court. It hadn't really been that hard; all TC had to do was show the law professor the bruises from his foster father. Once Thad had explained the situation, he had been happy to help.

Court had been nerve-wracking. Thad and TC sat together at the table with Thad's friend's professor, presenting their evidence to support TC's emancipation.

It was pretty simple, really; TC had received the results of his GED test, and had passed with flying colors. Thad had found a two-bedroom apartment in a decent area of town, and they would live together. The professor made TC go to a doctor to get an official record of the foster father's abuse. As his father was in prison and his mother was dead, there was no one to claim parental rights.

TC and Thad both stood before the judge and pleaded their case.

They were fortunate to get a sympathetic judge who actually considered their case, and recognized that the two brothers needed this, and would be able to make it work.

At sixteen years old, TC was officially declared an adult.

A door slammed down the hall, and TC flinched, his mind flying back to the present with force.

Shuddering slightly, he forced himself to push the past aside, and get back to work.

Jordan found him a few minutes later, and thankfully didn't try and psychoanalyze him.

TC was incredibly thankful for Jordan. He knew how lucky he was, and he still kicked himself over letting her go all those years ago. Now that they were back together, he vowed to never make the same mistake again.

Jordan was the only person who knew why Kevin's situation was affecting him so much. Unlike everyone else, she hadn't told him that it was over, and that everything would be all right. Because she knew what TC still went through on a daily basis. The constant doubt, uncertainty, moments of fear and hesitation, the lack of self-worth. Jordan had been amazing at getting him past all of that when they had started dating, but it never really went away.

TC never wanted anyone to know about his childhood. Even Topher thought that his parents were both dead. As far as anyone knew, his father had died in a car accident when he was a teenager. He always marked the man deceased on any form he had to fill out. There was no need to tell anyone that he had spent fifteen years in prison, or that TC had had a very near breakdown when he had found out that the asshole had been paroled six months ago.

Jordan was the only one who knew the truth, and he had only told her because she had caught him in the middle of a horrible nightmare one time, back when they had first started dating. He had been certain that she would leave after that, but she had just slapped him upside the head and told him that she didn't care about the past. She loved him for who he was. Yes, she had wanted to make sure that he wasn't suicidal anymore, but he had assured her that it had been a mistake, and he knew that. He had many more reasons for living now than he had had back then.

Jordan let out an inaudible sigh as she saw TC's eyes glaze over slightly, and knew that he kept flashing back to the past. She wished she could say or do something to make it better, but she had no idea what would do that. If there was anything that would do that.

So instead of speaking, she just leaned gently into his side, wrapping an arm around his waist.

TC shook himself off and looked down into her concerned gaze. "I'm fine," he said softly, knowing that she didn't believe him, and knowing that she had every reason not to.

Jordan just nodded slightly, not calling him out. They'd talk later. She watched him walk away worriedly, hating the situation with a passion. She vowed to keep a closer eye on him tonight, since he would likely be like this until Kevin woke up. TC really needed people to take care of him at times. It wasn't that he couldn't do it himself, but he was just usually so busy taking care of everyone else, that he forgot about himself. She sometimes felt like it was her job to look after him, while he looked after everyone else. It could be a challenge at times, but she happily embraced her self-appointed role. TC was an amazing guy, even if he didn't see it himself, and he deserved someone looking out for him.

XXX

TC had spent a lot of time in the ICU over the last couple of days. He had come in early, and stayed late, just watching Kevin from the doorway, hesitant to actually enter the room.

He had done this before. They had gotten a pretty bad abuse case last year, and TC had acted the same way. It wasn't necessarily the overall situation, it was just that TC sometimes saw himself in these kids. It reminded him so much of his own life. Kevin was fourteen, his mother had died when he was a baby, and he had lived with his father's abuse for most of his life.

A beeping sound intruded his thoughts, and TC rushed in, realizing that Kevin was actually waking up.

Scott joined him a moment later, hiding his surprise at seeing the ER doctor up here.

Scott had been the one to operate on Kevin, and like everyone else, had been disgusted and horrified at what the kid's father had done to him. He had seen the single-minded focus TC had displayed when Kevin had come into the hospital, and of course, had had to fight TC when the doctor had wanted to join him in the OR.

Fortunately, Jordan had managed to convince him to let a surgeon handle it; Scott could admit that he still harbored some ill feelings over the way things had gone between him and the female doctor, but he couldn't deny that she seemed to be good for TC. Watching those two together just made him realize that he had been nothing more than a rebound, and it was bittersweet.

It took a few minutes to calm Kevin down, and Scott oddly found himself relegated to the background as TC took charge, somehow knowing exactly what to say to get the teenager to stop fighting to escape the bed.

Once Kevin stopped thrashing, TC turned to glance at Scott. "Can you give us a minute?" he asked softly, the look in his eyes pleading for the surgeon to just agree and leave the room.

Scott nodded stoically, and walked out. He didn't go far, and just watched TC and Kevin from the hall, seeing everything through the glass doors, but unable to hear anything.

TC spent a minute resettling the blankets around Kevin, before he sat down on the edge of the bed. "It's OK to be angry," he said quietly, drawing the teenager's gaze to him. Kevin looked disbelieving, and TC shrugged. "You're allowed to hate the neighbor who called the police, the paramedics who brought you here, the doctors who fixed you up. It wasn't great, but you knew how to deal with it, right?" Kevin nodded slowly, eyes wide. TC smiled slightly. "Your dad's been arrested, and I don't know what will happen next. I want to tell you that everything's going to work out, but I can't, because it might not. But I refuse to lie to you, Kevin. Thing are going to be hard. It's on you, now. It's not fair, but no one's going to give you any free rides. You won't get the same breaks other kids might. If you decide that you want more out of life, then you have to make it happen."

Kevin appeared to consider that for a moment, before he tilted his head to the side. "Who are you?"

TC chuckled. "Doctor Callahan. Call me TC. I work here."

Kevin nodded slightly, and then bit his lip, his gaze skittering away to the far wall. "How do you…?" he trailed off, unable to finish, but TC understood.

With a small sigh, he reached out and grasped Kevin's hand lightly, ignoring the subtle flinch. "I hated it when people told me to be grateful," he admitted. "When they said that everything would be all right, that the doctors were there to help, that I'd never have to see him again. I didn't understand why I couldn't be angry. Why it was wrong for me to hate that people had found out." He grimaced, and Kevin turned back to look at him, hanging onto every word coming out of TC's mouth.

"It was the way I had always lived, and I thought that I deserved it. But I didn't, and it took me a long time to realize that." He leaned forward slightly. "I know you don't want to hear it right now, Kevin, but you don't deserve it either." Kevin looked down, his expression clearly showing his disbelief. "You don't believe me now, and you probably won't for a while. But eventually, you'll understand that what he did was wrong, and that nothing can excuse his behavior. It doesn't matter what you think you did, or what he thinks you did. There is no acceptable reason for him beating the crap out of you."

Kevin snorted softly at the choice of words, even if he didn't think they were true.

TC sighed again. "You'll probably be here for another day or two, and then social services will take over." He grimaced slightly at the reminder of his own time in the system. "If you ever need anything, Kevin, you can always come to me. Day or night."

XXX

Scott watched TC in growing amazement, stunned at the way Kevin appeared to be hanging onto his every word. He had seen TC in action as a doctor many times, but he had never really spent much time observing him after the fact.

He hadn't realized that TC had such a good bedside manner before.

"Hey, Scott, when you have a second, can you give me a consult?"

Scott jumped slightly as Topher came up behind him. He hadn't heard the other doctor approach.

Topher chuckled lightly. "Didn't mean to startle you."

Scott nodded quickly. "It's fine." He glanced back at the ICU room, and frowned. "Hey, Topher, what are TC's parents like?"

Topher raised an eyebrow, following the surgeon's gaze; his own eyes narrowed slightly at the scene in front of them. TC was really great with kids, but considering the circumstances surrounding Kevin's admittance, it was somewhat surprising to see how well the kid seemed to be connecting with the doctor. He wouldn't have expected Kevin to be willing to open up to anyone, but it looked like they were in the middle of a pretty intense discussion.

"They died when he was a kid," the older doctor informed Scott, turning his gaze away from his friend. "Why?"

Scott frowned, his mind rushing to draw some sort of conclusion. TC seemed to know exactly what to do and say to get Kevin to respond, and it indicated some very unpleasant possibilities. "No reason," he replied, not wanting to get into it. TC's life was his own. Scott had no business prying. They weren't friends; they barely even tolerated each other.

Topher didn't look convinced, but he nodded dutifully, and led Scott back down the hall, to go over a patient's MRI to determine if surgery was necessary.

XXX

TC was still thinking about Kevin three days later; social services had come by shortly after he had woken up, and Kevin had insisted TC stay while the woman told him what would happen. They had found a distant relative who was happy to take him in – something like the son of the cousin of his grandfather, but TC hadn't quite been able to track the actual relationship. He had come down from Dallas, and seemed to be a good guy, with a wife, two kids of his own, a steady job, and an easygoing personality that Kevin could probably get used to, given time.

Kevin had bonded quite well with TC, and wanted him to be present whenever there was another person in his room; TC was, of course, happy to oblige. He was happy for the kid – unlike TC, he had family that could take care of him.

Oh, TC didn't blame Thad at all. He had done his best, he had just been too young to actually be given custody. But they had had no other family, and TC hated the way the system worked.

Kevin had left with his cousin yesterday, a piece of paper with TC's cell phone number clutched in his hand like a lifeline, and a promise that he could call or text at any time.

TC was thinking about the look of wonder on Kevin's face when his cousin had greeted him with a smile and a hug yesterday evening – like he couldn't believe anyone was happy to see him – when Molly interrupted.

"TC, there's a patient in trauma two. He's requested to be seen by you."

TC furrowed his brow slightly, but nodded and headed towards the room.

If he hadn't spent the first fifteen years of his life learning how to control his emotions and reactions, he might have stumbled in shock.

Why now?

Beyond the subtle clenching of his jaw, he gave no other outward sign of distress, as he turned to the nurse who was waiting with the patient. "Jocelyn, you can leave."

Jocelyn frowned in confusion, but nodded and left the room quickly. TC immediately shut the curtains, before he turned back around to face the patient. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice low with an uncertain waiver he tried desperately to hide.

Richard Callahan just smirked in amusement. "Why can't I just come see my son?" he asked.

"How about the restraining order?" TC replied, glaring slightly.

Richard's smile dropped slightly, but he didn't let it deter him. "You know you're too much of a coward to get anyone to enforce that, boy."

TC tried really hard not to flinch, but knew he wasn't completely successful. "What do you want?" he asked, his tone resigned as he folded his arms across his chest, clenching his hands tightly to stop them from shaking.

Richard grinned widely, leaning back on the bed as if he didn't have a care in the world. "Don't try to pretend you're all important now, kid. Just because you're a hotshot doctor doesn't mean you're better than me. Just remember that I know what you really are. Weak, worthless. Pathetic."

Just two minutes, and TC was already reverting back to the teenager his father had made him. He hadn't seen the man in nearly sixteen years, and he was perfectly fine with that. Why the hell did the asshole have to resurface now? He had gotten out six months ago, why wait this long to show up and make his life a living hell?

He kept trying to speak, to say something to get him to shut up, but his mouth wouldn't work.

The metallic hiss of the curtain opening caused him to jump slightly and turn in his spot. Topher looked startled at the reaction, but didn't comment. "Hey, T, when you've got a second, I could use your opinion on something."

TC nodded quickly, about to tell Topher he'd be right there, but Richard laughed loudly at the notion. "Please don't tell me you actually look to him for anything."

Topher frowned slightly, confused. "What –"

TC swallowed harshly. "I'll be there in a minute, Toph. I was just telling this man that he has a cough," he turned back to Richard, "and that he should just go home and rest."

Topher nodded slowly. "If you're sure." He wasn't convinced, but knew better than to push TC if he didn't want to talk, so he dutifully left the room.

Jocelyn greeted him with a concerned look at the nurse's station. "Is TC still in there?" she asked softly.

Topher nodded. "He said the guy had a cough. Why?"

Jocelyn pursed her lips, looking over at the trauma room in question. "The patient told me he had a stomachache, and requested TC personally."

Topher frowned slightly, glancing back at the room.

Jocelyn shrugged, looking down. "I know it's none of my business," she admitted, "but TC looked kind of surprised when he came in, and not in a good way. He also asked me to leave immediately."

Topher bit his lip, worried against his better judgment. TC could take care of himself. If he needed help, he'd ask. Right?

Topher didn't even need to hear the laughing in his head at that statement, to know that it was a stupid thought. TC never asked for help.

Jordan interrupted their conversation by placing a clipboard down on the nurse's desk, before leaning on the short wall tiredly. "How much longer before this shift ends?" she asked rhetorically.

It had been a really busy night, and she was looking forward to getting off of her feet.

Topher and Jocelyn shared a look, and Jordan was immediately on edge. "What's up?" she asked quickly.

Topher sighed, shrugging slightly. "It's probably nothing," he admitted.

Jordan raised an eyebrow. "If it was nothing, you wouldn't be acting like this. What's TC done now?"

She knew that there was only one person who made Topher this worried.

Topher grimaced, glancing back at the trauma room. "He's in there with a patient right now. I don't know, the guy just gave me some bad vibes."

Jocelyn nodded in agreement. "He seemed to really rattle TC."

Jordan frowned worriedly. "Did he give a name?"

"Richard," Jocelyn replied when the two doctors looked at her. "No last name."

Jordan bit her lip. "What'd he look like?"

"Dark hair, brown eyes, about TC's height," Jocelyn rattled off, remembering the man she had gotten settled in the trauma room. "A little scruffy, kind of like he hasn't really been concerned with grooming or anything. Had a tattoo on his arm, but I didn't want to ask. It looked like a prison tattoo. He kind of looked a little like TC," she admitted quietly.

Jordan's eyes widened as she suddenly realized why this guy sounded familiar. TC didn't have many pictures of his childhood, but there was one that she had seen, so many years ago. It was of him, Thad, and their father. TC couldn't have been more than six or so in the picture, but she had been able to see the familial resemblance between all three Callahan men. What the hell was he doing here?

Jordan remembered receiving a panicked call from TC one day about six months ago. She had been concerned, since he usually tried not to bother her off shift, after they had broken up.

Going over to his apartment, she had been immediately alarmed, and had had to decipher the problem through a lot of muttering and what was clearly a panic attack. His father had been paroled. Jordan hadn't realized how much comfort TC had taken from the fact that his father was locked up, before that point. He was terrified of the man, and Jordan had been hard-pressed to talk him down. He had almost blacked out at one point, from a lack of oxygen; Jordan had been tempted to call 9-1-1, but as soon as she had told him that, he had managed to calm down slightly.

That incident was a major reason why she had been so much more lenient than everyone else with TC's behavior after Topher had gotten shot, even beyond the revelation about what had happened to Thad; that whole horrible nightmare had taken place only three days after his father had been paroled, and Jordan knew that he had already been close to breaking, when they had been taken hostage.

"Jordan?"

Jordan flinched, and turned to face the night shift chief. By the concerned gaze, she could tell that this wasn't the first time he had called her name. Shaking herself off, she attempted a smile that fell far short. "Sorry. It would probably be a good idea to make sure everything's all right in there."

Topher furrowed his brow. "You know who this guy is."

Jordan shrugged, but quickly began making her way over to the trauma room, deliberately not answering the question. There was a reason TC had never told Topher, and she wouldn't betray his trust, even if she didn't understand her boyfriend's aversion to admitting he needed help sometimes.

Before she reached the room, there was a muffled shout and then the sound of flesh hitting flesh, which caused almost everyone in the ER to turn towards the confrontation.

A moment later, the curtain to trauma two flew open, and TC reemerged. His right arm was locked around the neck of what most assumed to be a patient, while his left had the stranger's arm in a vice grip.

Paul had to jump out of the way or be run over, as TC manhandled the patient towards the exit.

Topher made to separate the two, but Jordan held him back, shaking her head slightly. "Don't," she said quietly.

Topher didn't understand, but if Jordan thought this patient needed to leave, then he wouldn't question it.

"Pathetic," the stranger managed to choke out, causing TC to quicken his pace. "Never could do anything right. At least your brother managed to properly kill himself."

Everyone in the ER stilled at those words. More than one cast a worried look at the tall doctor; everyone knew the story of TC's brother by now. After Nick Woods had come in last year, the story had circulated; how Thad and TC had served together, how he had been killed in action during TC's last tour. After Topher's injury a few months ago, more details had emerged, and most of them knew that TC still blamed himself for his brother's death.

Drew was ready to jump between TC and this stranger – who honestly deserved whatever TC decided to dole out, but it probably wouldn't be the best idea considering TC had already been on suspension once this year.

Surprisingly, however, TC made no sign that he had even heard the man, as he just wrestled him out the door.

"Am I missing something?" Michael asked, confused, once the two were no longer in sight.

Scott turned towards Jordan, immediately noting her anxious expression, and the way she seemed unable to look away from the ER exit.

"What the hell just happened?" Gwen demanded, leaning against the nurse's station as Kenny just sat on the desk. The two had been enjoying a little break in a secluded corner, when they had been interrupted by the commotion.

Nobody answered, as TC chose that moment to reappear. He determinedly didn't meet anyone's gaze as he walked through the ER and towards the stairs, and his thunderous expression deterred anyone from attempting to approach him.

Jordan was following without a second thought.

"Jordan!" Topher called out, still hoping for clarification.

The female doctor stopped and turned around to face her friend. "If he comes back, call the cops," she ordered, before going to find her boyfriend.

That didn't explain anything, but Topher just turned to the phone at the nurse's station. It couldn't hurt to give security a heads up, and maybe have them send someone down, just in case.

One confusing conversation later, and he hung up, wondering why security was calling the police in immediately.

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