Words that stuck in the Heart

Disclaimer: I don't own naruto…

By: Mikayel~

I woke up, had breakfast and left home just like yesterday, i look back several times because in my head i thought i left something out somehow, but i'm sure i didn't, i'm sure i didn't forget to throw the garbage away or lock the door or close the lights and turn the stove off before i leave. I maybe like this since it has been like forever that I'm alone, or because in my head there was someone looking at me while i was on my way out, i eventually know it's you that i'd left out and
you must be scattered like sand on the floor by now.

Your loss played a big impact on how I live my life these past few months. My memories with you still stuck in my head although I'm trying to erase the reminiscence of you in my heart but not in my head because the vision of your death might end up breaking my heart over and over again, only your opened white radiance eyes that used to look at me are left as bruises in my heart. There are still a lot of words left i want to tell you, but now i can't seem to say anything at all, i suffered patiently to pretend it was no big deal, but in the end i cry for a long time and smile after then. But as everyone can see, I always had a fake smile.

As I pass the street of konoha a hundreds of thoughts came into my mind, walking with you silently, having a secret glimpse at your back and talking genuinely, those are some of the thoughts that suddenly pop out in my head crazily. Whenever I see someone from your clan, I couldn't help but to look because I miss you, although it really feels awkward since the memories with you became outworn, but honestly I'm afraid of losing it.

Silently I gaze up at the sky. Don't you think it would be really great if I could see just your spirit once and it would be awesome if the memories and tears I had like crazy got back? I'm crazy.

Lee had cried and held you madly in his arms that horrible day, but me, the foolish me stood there looking at both lee and you blankly, I can't forgive myself for that, that's why i always visit your gravestone and even if i prepare everyday to say sorry, I can't even speak when I trace your carved name on the stone with my very own eyes. But do you know that aside from that sorry word, I still have one more word to say, the word that can make my heart flutter, the word that still lingers on my mouth, the word I want you and the world to know, the word I bet i couldn't say in front of you or even in front of this gravestone, and the word I keep back covertly, Those words they're stuck on my heart like a rose that covered with thorns.

Today I stand in front of you having this courage of saying what I feel; sometimes I get mad and sometimes sad because even if I pledge a thousand times already to forget you…I Can't

"I'm sorry for being here again" only the wind hears my low voice.

Drip Drip Drip~ and only the other tombstone witnessed my tears.

Damn I just can't. Now i can only look blankly at the times when we have you, I just want the feeling again, to feel you around again. Without you, i'll always be under my mind.

Even though the life of the one I love ended, the world hadn't stop at least for a while, even if I got hurt as much as I couldn't breathe, I still have my life. I can't explain to them why I'm being like this; but they must understand it through my tears.

i fell on my knees on the ground near your gravestone; silently whimpering and silently praying for you to reach my words and just when I'm ready to…no words came out…

I'm on my way back home after visiting you and having a drink with some of my friends.

I maybe like this because i still had that deep scar on my heart left by the prodigy of my former teammate, Hyuuga Neji.