Once upon a time kappa was really really bored on April the 5th so he thought of making a egg hunt for his little kappalings who are not actually his blood children but close enough.
Kappa plucked a hair from his head and blew it, it sent magic papers that would send flying to the random people in ikebukuro he doesn't even know to compete in the egg hunt.
"Ow paper cut." Shizuo got cut by a magic paper that flew by his face. He was sitting on a rock polishing his coal.
"Whatever the hell this is, it's better be worth the paper cut." Shizuo was hurt.
"Hello human you have been randomly given this letter to compete in my super cool magic egg hunt, in total there are 13 eggs. If you don't wanna go, well that's too bad you'll be teleported there by me myself hm hm hm hm. -KappaLord
"Fuck, why Kappa. Well... I just hope I don't have to go with Izaya..." Shizuo went home to eat some cube cheese before being magically teleported. Of course it never isn't without Izaya.
"Ohohoho what's this." Izaya catched a magic paper and read it. Evil man was on the roof top of his house to set it on fire since he saw frollo burn stuff.
"Ohohohoh I shall come anyway, free chocolate hehehe." Izaya got off his house, burned it and ran away laughing like a maniac that he is.
"Hurray a maaaagic letterrrr." Shinra caught a magic paper and read it. He was strolling on a floppy street, returning to have revenge on the maple syrup that was spilled on him.
"Hmmm, yay a egg hunt good thing I don't have to walk there..." Shinra was on a floppy street veerrryyyy far away from his house, for he rode on a bird as a potatoe, and eventually it wanted to eat him, so he had to fall down.
"I'll get revenge on you later maple syrup..." The maple syrup on a stop sign met Shinra's potatoe eyes.
"Or maybe now cuz your giving me a really annoying stare... bring it on maple syrup." Shinra charged at him.
Kadota got a broken part of a toy basketball net, and covered all it's holes and started to yell in the net at people saying:
"HOH. HOH. HOOH. HOOOH." He ran around doing that to people, until the magic paper that was going to be sent over to him, cutting his toy basketball net in half.
"Why." Kadota was sad about his broken hoop, not being able to make his voice louder. "What this." Kadota picked up the magic paper and read it.
"I've got it Kappa. Batman will be there to complete his mission. For I am... batman." Kadota striked a pose making people judge him as they walked by.
The last magic paper came by Simon's sushi shop. He was persuading people into his restaurant, suddenly, the paper happened to fly into his mouth and he swallowed it.
"Oooh, that paper taste pretty good. It had magic, very good." Unfortunately, since Simon is a little bit magic himself, he absorbed all the magic and the teleportation had an error.
The person, Mikado, that Simon was talking to suddenly walked away slowly.
It was almost time for the egg hunt. Everyone sure thought this was going to be fun...
Maybe except for Shizuo.
With a sudden whoosh, the four teleported to the place. They all looked around the place. They were in the middle of a field, no where to be seen the Kappalord.
"Why." Shizuo glanced at evil man.
"If it isn't you." Izaya stepped forward to Shizuo.
They started a staring contest.
"Um. Where the hell are we?" Shinra is now human.
"Why is it always us only?"
They all sat down on the grass in a little tiny circle.
"Actually, wheres kappalord? I was told on a special egg hunt mission... Ok, all of you guys will have to separately work in parts of being my sidekicks."
"Yeah, no." Izaya found a chocolate egg. Most likely the only edible one.
"Ohohoh hehehe..." Izaya snuck to get it, but Shizuo happened to be a pretty big sugar craver, and sniffed out that chocolate.
"GIMME THAT." Shizuo pounced on Izaya who held up the chocolate egg.
"WHAT, I GOT IT FIRST YOU SHIZU-SHITS." Izaya pulled it away from him, Shizuo was on top of Izaya trying to reach for the chocolate.
Shinra fanboied as Shizuo was on top of Izaya and then sit on his hips, he rooted in the corner.
"Sigh... I guess the sidekick idea can't work after all..." Kadota was disappointed. Not really seeing Izaya and Shizuo fighting over a chocolate egg.
All of a sudden, a shitty blocky shaped character grabbed the chocolate egg from them, Izaya and Shizuo jumped to their feet.
"The hell, who are you? Gimme my chocolate." Shizuo said.
"Ehm, this be my own chocolate egg get yer own." The blocky figure disappeared.
"Dafuq."
"Well... at least you two don't have to childishly fight over a chocolate egg. I expected more maturity from you Izaya, even as you are you." Kadota-man announced.
Shinra gave him a squinty stare at Kadota for believing that.
"Eh shaddup, I guess we just start the egg hunt then..." Izaya patted dirt off of him, and started walking away from the group. Finding kappa knows with what eggs the kappalord hid.
Kadota spotted a water fall.
"Hmm, I'll go look for eggs over there." He was obviously wanting to meditate in the water falls and fight bears like the martial arts master he is, no what wait that's Shizuo too.
Kadota quickly got up, trembling a bit dashing to the water fall in a weird way. (did you guys see shinichi from parasyte run before? c': it's so beauitful)
"Then I'll look for some in the houses." Shinra got up and went off.
"The hell do I care, I just hope it ends soon enough." Shizuo got off his butt, and stomped over down the hill near the houses Shinra was going to explore.
"A egg.. a egg... where's a egg..." As Shizuo searched he saw a cow eating grass.
"Maybe the cow has a egg." Shizuo walked over to it.
This was no ordinary cow.
"Hey cow, you got a egg or something." It just kept eating grass.
"Yo you hearing me cow, I do not like being ignored cow." Shizuo lifted his leg and kicked it a little. It didn't do anything, even with his monstrous strength.
"Eh stupid cow." He smacked the cows behind for some reason.
It got angry.
"Moooooo."
"Crap." Shizuo started running for his life.
"Dang it there ain't nothing in here." Shinra couldn't find any eggs in the houses.
"Wait, who's houses are these even? what is this, link in Legend of Zelda? There's not even any pots to smash." Shinra left the house, and squinted at something.
A human figure and something that appears to be chasing after it.
"Is that... Shizuo? the heck?" The image became clearer, and Shizuo was running directly to Shinra.
"SHINRA HELP! I PISSED OFF A COW." Shizuo running as fast as he can toward Shinra arms up.
"This is what you get, at least you didn't piss off a chicken... wait, you have that crazy strength don't you? why don't you just use your hands to stop it..."
"Oh, yeah." Shizuo halted, turned the other way, and tried to push the cow. They were equally matched, and they were heading right for the houses.
"AHHHHHH." Shinra was standing right in the middle of it.
The cow pushed Shizuo into house by house, while Shinra is dodging the parts falling down. The cow and Shizuo finally stopped, and the cow fell down, becoming a egg.
"Shit, I almost died..." Shinra is panting, along with Shizuo.
"Oh, the cow turned into a egg, hurray. I am victorious I'm the best ye no one can defeat me yeeah." Shizuo held up the cow egg, and cheered for himself in victory of tipping over a cow.
"Well, congrats Shizuo, now I wonder why Kappalord would make that egg..." Shinra wondered.
"That's one egg." The egg magically teleported to Shizuo's 'backpack.'
There was something oddly standing out in the rubble.
"Hm, what this?" Shinra dug through the rubble and found a egg dressed like a house.
"Wow, amazing. Well done Kappalord, well done. You made a house egg that can be found by destroying all the houses around here. haha, he's so weird.."
Shinra just stared at the egg, adjusting his glasses.
"Well, at least I got a egg for all that effort..." The egg also teleported to his magic backpack.
It appears when you were teleported you have a magic backpack you get that lets eggs go there so you don't have to carry it.
"I'm gonna go find Kadota, making sure he's not fighting too many bears." Shinra headed off to find Kadota. For he was meditating under waterfalls and fighting bears.
"Whatever, might as well go find that flea and steal his eggs." Shizuo went to find Izaya.
"This should be easy..." Izaya looked around the bushes.
"Hmm... nothing here..." Evil man kept looking.
"Ow." Izaya got cut by a bush.
"Why bush." The bush laughed in a evil way.
"This is why I like shrubs." Shizuo liked shrubs too. They're nice.
"Ohoho." After a few bushes, he found a egg.
"Now let's see my beautiful find... what the hell is this?" Izaya stared at the egg.
It was a potatoe egg.
"You know what, maybe I'll just throw this one away." Izaya was going to throw it at the water fall.
"Oh wait... hehehe... Shizuo would probably want to trade this egg for another... I'll keep it then..." The egg teleported to Izaya's backpack.
"Well, time to find more shit. There can't possibly be a shit egg though. ... I hope so anyway." Izaya did not want to touch shit.
So evil man climbed up the hill that would be the top of the water fall.
"Izaya, gimme your eggs." Izaya jumped and turned to Shizuo, climbing up.
"Like Shizuo I don't even want it anyway." Izaya said.
"Whatever, just give me it before I pound you for no reason." Shizuo steps closer.
"Don't you get closer you bub or I might kiss you by accident." Izaya got out the potatoe egg and put it near the falls.
"Wait what is that actually potatoe..." Shizuo squinted closely, indeed it was. Kappalord somehow made him a egg.
"Ok, ok I'm stepping back. Don't you drop my potatoe." Shizuo steps back.
"Now gimme your egg." Izaya told.
"Like you said, I don't really need it anyway. It won't change the egg hunt progress so I don't give a fuck." Shizuo got out his cow egg and tossed it over.
It missed and fell on the ground.
It appears it is now a mad cow egg...
"Um. Well, better than the potatoe egg. I'll be a nice evil man and give you the potatoe egg." Izaya tossed it over like Shizuo did, the potatoe egg got hurt.
"You bastard, you hurt potatoe." Shizuo picked it up and nursed his potatoe.
"Owie." Potatoe said through tiny tears.
"I make you better potatoe." Shizuo created a toilet sword magic bandage that may possibly work 100x better than a normal bandage.
"Yay bandage." Potatoe was now feeling better. Shizuo nuzzled on it.
"Well into my magic backpack you go where you'll be safe."
The potatoe egg went into Shizuo's magic backpack with a little "wee".
Izaya was jealous. He wanted to be nursed like that. Nurse Shizuo was sexy.
"Shizuo I'm hurt too." Izaya shows the cut he got from the bush, he pouted.
"What no that's just a scratch." Shizuo started to walk away.
"It was by the bush." Izaya claimed the cutter. He knew Shizuo didn't like bushes.
Shizuo paused and walked back, creating a toilet sword magic bandage. Shizuo didn't like bushes and he knew that using it to his advantage. Neither did Shinra or Kadota.
"You don't get no nuzzle." Shizuo explained as he nursed Izaya's hand.
"How about a kiss?"
"Fine." Shizuo gently kissed on the bandage.
"How about here too?" Izaya directed to his lips.
He sighed as he gave Izaya a short peck on the lips too. Izaya was happy now.
"I'm gonna find more eggs so we can get the hell outta here." Shizuo walked off.
"Hohohohohoh." Shizuo laughed for some reason. Most likely santa fever from that laptop selling guy. (reference from fic Laptop Crisis with Shizuo Heiwajima c:)
"Why you laughing." Izaya wondered.
"Um santa fever, yeah." Shizuo walked away faster.
"Weird person." Izaya got out some half eaten sashimi and ootoro from his chest and ate it.
Suddenly, a red glow came from Izaya's pants.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Izaya tried pulling off his pants, but before he could even reach for it, his legs started moving on their own, moving real fast like that cow Shizuo stopped earlier.
"Damn it Shizuo there was something you knew..." Izaya was now running wildly everywhere.
the end of chapter 1 C:
tbc
review for your bunny eggies and kappacumber tea that give this chocolate easter hunt to give another chappie c:
happy greek easter you kappalings