Chapter 1

I sighed as I stared at my face in the mirror over the bathroom sink, I turned my head, letting the overhead light shine from different angles on the reddened areas, some of which were already starting to bruise. This morning had been bad, but it was in no way the worst I had been through. I was still not sure what had set Ed off; after fifteen years of being married to the man I had gotten pretty good at guessing his moods and avoiding a blow-up, but over the last year or so there didn't seem to be a trigger anymore. It had always been bad but since he got laid off and then couldn't seem to find another job things had gone from bad to worse rather quickly. The only good thing about it all was that he'd had to let me go to work so at least I got a small break. Ed drove me to work and picked me up but since he refused to allow me to send Sophia to a sitter and his mom wouldn't keep her every night, he wasn't able to stay and watch me. He had gotten me the job at Hank's Bar and Grill waiting tables and basically helping out with whatever needed to be done. Him and Hank had been buddies since college so Ed felt like he had eyes on me at all times anyway. Thank god Hank didn't feel the same way. The man always acted like he felt sorry for me and went out of his way to be nice. I hated feeling like people pitied me, but I'd take an ally wherever I could get one.

I gave another weary sigh and started gently patting concealer around my eye, wincing as I hit a particularly tender spot. There had to be a way out of this, but damned if I could see one. All these years to think on it, (and believe me, I'd done tons of thinking about it) and I couldn't even figure out how I got here most less how to get me and Sophia out safely. God knows, (and so does Ed) that I would die before I would leave her. Sometimes I wish that I could figure out what went wrong so maybe then I could find a way to fix it.

I had grown up rough, moving from one trailer park to another, wearing thrift store clothes, never any money left over for any of life's luxuries. It was just me and Mama and I know she did the best she could, but with her having to work all the time I was pretty much on my own. I ran with a rough crowd, but I managed somehow to stay just on the edge of the law. I worked my ass off in school and earned a full ride scholarship to Georgia University where I majored in Early Education. I had my heart set on being a teacher since I had always loved kids. I met Ed during my sophomore year, he was a senior and he was so sweet and seemed different from the other guys I'd known. There were signs from the beginning that looking back I know I should have picked up on, like him not liking the clothes I wore and not wanting me to wear make-up or dress up and slowly isolating me from my friends. I liked the feeling it all gave me though, it made me feel treasured and special. When his job transferred him to Atlanta after he graduated he talked me into putting college on hold and moving with him. We were married in front of a justice of the peace and I packed up my life, said goodbye to my friends and my mama and never looked back. From the second that I said "I do" things changed. We fought all the time and nothing that I did seemed to be enough. The house wasn't clean enough, the food was too salty, either I was dressed like a slut or I looked like a slob...At first I would argue back and we would yell and scream and Ed sometimes threw things and punched holes in the walls. He grabbed me and pushed me a few times but never actually hit me and at that point I never dreamed that he ever would. We had been married around 2 years when Ed came home from work one evening and some of my friends from home had looked me up online and stopped by for a visit. Jessica, Alvin and Larry. We were all sitting in the living room laughing and reminiscing about high school when Ed walked in. He froze just inside the door and the look on his face made my throat feel tight and I was praying that he wouldn't cause a scene and embarass me. I jumped up off the couch and walked over to him, taking his hand I tried to lead him over closer to my friends,

"Ed this is Jessica, the guy in the red is her boyfriend Alvin and this is Larry. We all went to high school together. Guys, this is my husband Ed." Everyone nodded at him and said hello but Ed just jerked his hand out of mine, turned and walked into our bedroom and slammed the door. I could feel the heat of embarassment on my cheeks as I slowly turned back to face my friends. "I'm so sorry guys, he must have had a really bad day at work or something" I babbled trying to find a valid reason for his rudeness. Jess looked at me with sadness and something that I couldn't identify but that made me want to cry in her eyes.

"Come on ya'll let's go so Carol can talk to Ed" she said as she got to her feet, pulling Alvin up with her. Larry had his jaw clenched in a way that I remembered well from school and was staring a hole through my bedroom door. "Lar, it's ok I promise, he's just upset, it's not you guys" Larry turned his head towards me as he slowly stood up.

"Are you gonna be ok?"

"I'm fine I promise, it's not like that. Ed has never hit me."

I walked them to the door and closed it gently behind them with promises to call soon and to get together again whenever they came back through town. I thought about going and talking to Ed but I was pissed at him for the way he had acted so instead I headed for the kitchen to figure out what I was going to cook for supper. The running water masked the sound of Ed coming into the kitchen and I had no idea he was there until he grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him. He was standing so close that I could feel the heat from his body contrasting with the un-yielding coldness of the counter at my back. I could see that he was mad but so was I, I braced myself for the screaming match to come. The angry words died on my lips from the shock as Ed grabbed both of my upper arms and leaned in until his nose was almost touching mine. "You fucking that Larry guy?" he asked me in a tone of voice that I had never heard him use before, but that caused a flash of fear to raise goosebumps on my skin. I tried to shove him a few steps back to put some room between us.

"Don't be stupid Ed, they're just friends"

"I saw the way you were looking at him you fucking whore"

My mouth flew open in shock as he pushed me further back into the edge of the counter "I'm gonna have a bruise," I thought as I struggled to get my wrists loose from where he had grabbed them when I shoved at him.

"Ed you're hurting me dammit, let go!"

We wrestled for a minute or so, Ed was still talking but my pulse was pounding so hard in my ears that I couldn't make out what he was saying. Suddenly my wrists were free and I darted around him and headed for the front door. I felt his fingers tangle in my hair seconds before I felt a sharp pain in my scalp as he jerked me backwards. Before my mind could catch up enough to even register what was going on, the right side of my face exploded with pain. I realized about the time that I hit the floor that he had punched me. I couldn't believe that he had hit me, I felt warmth trickling down my chin and new that he had busted my mouth. I could hear him screaming at me, but couldn't make out the words. I know now that I was in shock, but then all I could do was cry. I felt another sharp pain in my side and I screamed and tried to roll away from him as he pulled back to kick me a second time. I didn't get far, he reached down and grabbed my hair again and as he slapped me the words he was saying finally penetrated the fog of pain and panic shrouding my brain.

"You're mine bitch, I own you and if I ever see you even talking to another man I will kill you!"

He shoved my head back against the linoleum and a few seconds later I heard the front door slam and the squeal of tires as he left the driveway. I don't know how long I lay there curled around my aching ribs, sobbing and trying to make sense of it all. No one had ever hit me in my face before and as far as I could remember, no man had ever hit me at all. Mama had busted my butt a few times as a kid and I had been in a couple of tussles in school, but that was all. I finally cried myself out and decided to try to get up and make it to the bathroom. My side hurt bad enough to take my breath when I tried to sit up so I crawled over to the couch and used the arm of it to pull myself onto my feet. The room spun sickeningly and my head was pounding so I stood there breathing slowly until the pain lessened some before I hobbled into the bathroom. As I met my eyes in the mirror I felt the panic start to rise back up, I barely recognized the woman staring back at me. My blue eyes were neon, the rims red and swollen, my hair was sticking up all over my head and there was a red handprint already tinged with blue on the left side of my face. My lower cheek on the right side was swollen and red with a raised knot and the right side of my bottom lip was split and still oozing blood. I slowly pulled my shirt off over my head to assess the rest of the damage, groaning as the movement re-awakened the pain in my ribs. There was a deep purple bruise already forming on my side, you could see the tread of his shoes in the bruise which made me wonder briefly if he had kicked me or stomped on me. Both of my upper arms had purple fingerprints where he had grabbed them and one of my wrists was red and raw looking. Turning to peer at my back in the full length mirror on the wall, I could see a raised red welt where the edge of the counter had dug into it. Biting the inside of my cheek hard to try to hold off another attack of the blind panic that I could feel welling up, I carefully peeled off the rest of my clothes and stepped into the shower. I turned the water on as hot as I could stand it and as it poured over me I gave in to the tears once more. Too tired and lost to do anything else, I dried off and crawled into mine and Ed's bed. My last thought before drifting off into exhausted sleep was "I have got to figure out somewhere to go."

A sound from outside the window brought me back to the present and I realized that my hands had started to shake again, taking a calming breath I eyed my face critically, no signs of this morning's incident were visible beneath the expertly applied make-up. I was an old pro at this by now. Thinking back once more on the day that all my hell began I wished for the thousandth time that I'd left then, but Ed had come in sometime during the night and gently woken me up. When he saw my face he cried and kept telling me how sorry he was and that he just loved me so much that the thought of me with anyone else had just pushed him over the edge. He swore he would make it up to me and that he would never hurt me again and I let his words and his gentle touch soothe the voices screaming at me to get away and I stayed. Things would be great for weeks, sometimes months and it would happen all over again, then somewhere along the way I got pregnant. He never hit me while I was carrying her, but once she was born I was truly trapped. He made sure I was never left alone with her, even going so far as to take her to his mom or his sister on the days he worked. I have no clue what excuse he gave them for needing a sitter when I was not working, but he made sure I couldn't take her and leave. I woke up one day in the middle of a nightmare. I was one of those women you read about or see on t.v. and swear that it will never happen to you, that no man will ever treat you like that and you put up with it. I had said all of those things myself until it did happen to me and I did stay. That first time was nothing compared to some of the things he has done to me over the years, I keep the physical scars hidden under make-up and clothes and the emotional ones hidden behind a timid, subservient facade. I keep my eyes down so he can never see the hate that I harbor for him in my very soul! And I always keep an eye pealed for any weak link in the prison he holds me in. I pray daily for him to die or for me to find the strength to kill him.

"Carol, bring your ass on, I ain't got all damn day!"

Ed's surly voice, thick with the amount of beer he had drank since he woke up a few hours earlier made me jump and with a last glimpse at the broken woman in the mirror I scurried out to the car for him to drive me to work.

Chapter 2

As I walked into Hank's the smell of hot grease, beer and stale cigarette smoke hit me, but instead of being unpleasant , it felt like the first easy breath that I had taken since I left after my shift two days before. Most of the tables were full of people eating supper and talking, their heads bobbing or feet tapping along to the jukebox. I saw a few of our regulars at the bar already nursing a beer or a mixed drink despite the early hour.

"Hiya Carol" Jimmy, the day shift bartender said, smiling at me and giving a small nod in greeting as I walked through the bar to get to the kitchen. I met his eyes briefly and offered a small smile before I pushed open the double doors and headed past the make table to where the aprons hung. I was tying on my apron and fluffing the ends of my shirt out around it when the doors banged open and a little blonde whirlwind with bright, laughing blue eyes bounced into the kitchen. Old Murphy, our cook on the weekends, looked back over his shoulder and grinned,

"Evening ladies, how goes it?"

We both mumbled back a hello and Bethie skipped over to him and smacked a loud kiss on his grizzled cheek. The old man ducked his head and cleared his throat.

"What the hell was that for?" He grumped at her, but I could see the twinkling in his brown eyes and he winked at me before he turned back to the grease vats in front of him, deftly pouring fries in one and turning what looked like fried pickles out onto a platter from another one.

"You're cooking made me almost 200 bucks in tips today, that's what that was for." The blonde told him before turning to me.

"Hey Carol, looks like it's gonna be a busy night...hope you got some rest on your day off."

She turned to the side table and started filling ketchup bottles and napkin dispensers. The child was never still, she had a kind of restless energy that made me feel old and tired just watching her. She was 22 and in college and she waited tables three days a week to supplement her scholarships and grants. She was bright and bubbly and when I looked at her I hoped that one day my Sophia would look as happy and carefree. Even now at ten years old there were shadows in Sof's eyes, she walked quietly with her head down and was timid and shy. Beth had kept talking never even leaving a break for me to reply, as I tuned back in I heard her ask me,

"Have you seen the new bouncer Hank hired? He is sexy as hell girl! Dark blue eyes and big old arms, he don't say much though", the girl mused. "Anyway, I gotta run, going out with Carl tonight and I don't wanna show up smelling like fries and cigarettes." She threw me a grin over her shoulder as she turned to leave,

"Seriously though Care, check out the bouncer."

I smiled and shook my head as she disappeared back into the bar. I finger combed my short cropped hair, grabbed a ticket book and headed out to start my night.

When I finally got a second to stop and catch my breath a few hours later I stood at the bar leaning on it to take some of the pressure off of my tired feet and scanning the room not really looking for anything in particular. The band had started up at around 9:30 and it had quickly gotten crowded. The dance floor was packed with couples swaying to the bluesy strains of New Orleans Lady coming from the speakers. All of the barstools were occupied as were all but a couple of the tables. Glen and Maggie were behind the bar, they had relieved Jimmy at eight. Maggie was a short, well- built brunette with lively blue eyes, she and Glen had met here at Hank's and started dating a few months back. Looking down the bar and seeing the young guy watching her with a sweet grin on his face made me smile. Young love always got to me, so many possibilities. Ed hated that Hank had hired Glen, he called him "that fucking little chink" and the one time I had unthinkingly told him that Glen was Korean it had gotten me smacked in the head. Now I just tried to ignore him, racism of any kind bothered me and besides I happen to think that Glen is a genuinely good guy and I envy Maggie the love he has for her. With a quick glance at the pick-up window to make sure none of my orders were up I walked over to the soda gun and started on refills for a couple of my tables. I would be glad when eleven got here and they closed the grill, I was exhausted. I would still have to help out behind the bar until one and then help clean up but at least it would be less walking. As I headed out to deliver the drinks I felt a prickling on the back of my neck like someone was staring at me, I slowly passed my gaze around the room and stopped short when I locked eyes with the man whom I realized must have been responsible for the feeling. As my eyes met his I felt a strange lurch in my stomach, he held my gaze for a long second or two before he turned his head to scan the room. I hadn't been able to see the color of his eyes or the expression in them from where I stood, but the stern, tight jawed look on his face is, I guess, what caused my reaction. I realized from his stance and his position by the door that he must be the new bouncer that Bethie had been telling me about. Remembering what she'd said about him, I curiously let my eyes trail slowly from his head to his feet, feeling somewhat bold because I knew he wasn't looking in my direction. He had dark hair that in the bar's dim light looked to be a dirty blonde or a light brown, it reached the top of his collar and curled in little wisps there and around his ears. He had a scruffy 5:00 shadow below sharp cheekbones that made me think Indian heritage was somewhere in his family tree. He stood with his shoulders and one foot resting on the wall behind him and his arms were folded stiffly across his chest. He wore a black Hank's tee shirt with the sleeves cut off and the way his arms were folded made his biceps bulge and the hem of his shirt ride up exposing a thin line of flat, toned abs. Long legs with thick, muscular thighs encased in well- worn jeans and a scuffed up pair of combat boots completed his look. Slowly moving my eyes back up, I blushed and jumped a little when I realized that he'd turned his attention back towards me at some point and I'd been too busy checking him out to even notice. I quickly averted my gaze and turned to walk away but not before I saw him cock an eyebrow up at me and I swear it looked like he was fighting back a smirk. Mortified at being caught ogling some guy like a teenager, I put my hands to my cheeks hoping that no one had noticed and that the blush would just look like I was flushed from the heat of the kitchen.

It was almost 1:00 a.m. and I was headed across the bar to the few occupied tables in the back when I saw the two guys get in each others face and heard the raised voices over the thump of the jukebox. I froze in place with my eyes glued to the men, one was a tall brown haired guy with thick arms and a cruel grin on his face, the other guy was smaller, he had on a baseball cap and as I watched he snatched it off and pulled his shirt off over his head throwing it towards the taller guy before launching himself at him. It was clear that the shorter man was drunk and most likely the instigator, He crashed into the other man knocking him into a table and sending beer bottles and ashtrays flying. There was a little dark haired woman pulling at his arm trying to stop him from running at the larger guy again who was just standing there glaring at them, a silent dare evident on his face. As I remained frozen in fear and indecision, too scared to take even a step towards them, the man swung his arm to shake loose from the woman and sent her flying into the table next to them. She went down in a pile of chairs and the look on her face made me forget my own fear as I rushed over to help her up. When I looked up from where I was kneeling beside her, the new bouncer was standing over us. He looked down at us briefly and with a steely glint in his cobalt eyes he turned and grabbed the smaller man mid-lunge. He had his fore arm locked around the guy's neck and he leaned down and said something in his ear. I couldn't hear what he said, but the man immediately stopped struggling and lifted his hands in the universal sign of surrender. Our bouncer loosened his arm and getting a firm grip on the guy he escorted him out into the parking lot. With the threat removed the remaining fighter returned to the group behind him and picked up a beer like nothing had ever happened. Shaking from adrenaline, I stood up and helped the other woman to her feet. As I turned around I bumped face first into a hard chest, he brought his hands up and caught my arms to keep me from falling and I flinched as his fingers folded over an especially tender bruise.

"Easy there", he drawled at me as he noticed my wince and immediately let go of me, giving me a look that I couldn't decipher before turning to the tiny brunette crying beside me.

"Are ya ok?" he gently asked her and when she nodded her head he gave a slight nod to both of us in return before reaching to begin righting the overturned chairs.

"I'll get these," I told him, looking down. I couldn't make myself meet his eyes. Something about the raw power he seemed to exude made me jittery. Plus I was embarassed that he had caught me looking at him earlier.

"I said I got 'em woman", His surly tone made me jump and let go of the chair I was holding, it fell back between us with a loud clatter. "God dammit", he growled and the look on his face made my heart start pounding and my mouth go dry and I automatically started backing away from him.

"The hells yer problem?" he asked, but I had already turned and all but ran to the kitchen. Pushing through the doors, I ducked into the break room and sank down in one of the chairs. I was shaking so bad by this time that I was scared not to sit. It was ridiculous for me to react like this and I knew it. The bad part is that I am not even sure what I am feeling. Watching him grab that man earlier so effortlessly I couldn't help but admire his strength, and Bethie didn't lie about his looks either. When he had first spoken and I'd heard his voice, all honey and gravel, with a deep country twang I had just wanted to close my eyes and get lost in. But that same voice, hard and clipped, had stirred an unreasonable fear. Ed was a gnat compared to this man, the strength that I could see caged in him was terrifying! I did a little deep breathing to calm myself and tried to tell myself how crazy it was to let a stranger make me feel like this. As if I needed any more emotional turmoil in my life. With a deep sigh I pulled myself back up on my feet and went out into the bar to start cleaning up. The band had quit over an hour before and now were busy packing up their equipment and Maggie turned the overhead lights on just as I walked back in.

"Hey Daryl", I heard her yell and my eyes followed hers to see who she was talking to.

"Ya?" The bouncer turned from the door to answer her. So...His name is Daryl I mused.

Chapter 3

Ed didn't say much on the ride home, Sophia had fallen asleep on the backseat so I just leaned my head back and closed my eyes, thankful to be off my feet and in the quiet. When we got home I softly shook Sophia awake and guided her to her bed. I tucked her in and sat down beside her smoothing the silky, blonde curls off of her forehead. I leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, breathing in the sharp tang of sweaty kid that told me that she hadn't had a bath this evening. "I love you sweetheart", I whispered in her ear, thinking she was already asleep. Her sleepy mumble of "How much mommy?" made me smile.

"Bunches and bunches" I told her rubbing my nose against hers. We'd had this same exchange daily since she was old enough to talk. Watching her snuggle down into her comforter and hearing her breathing even out I was filled with the usual mix of love and despair that rose in me at even the thought of my daughter. I wanted so much more out of life for her. As I walked into the bedroom I said a quiet prayer that maybe I would get lucky and Ed would be asleep. No such luck though, he was lying on his back watching the door and as I walked through it he sat up.

"How much ya make tonight?' he asked. Reaching into my pocket I pulled out the folded wad of bills and wordlessly handed it to him.

"120", I told him as I stepped into our walk in closet to get something to sleep in. My hands were shaking and my pulse was hammering as I glanced over my shoulder to make sure he wasn't watching me. His head was bent over the money that he was sorting into piles on the bed beside him. Quickly, praying I wouldn't get caught, I opened my top drawer and yanking a roll of bills out of my panties I shoved it between the pages of my mama's old bible and hurrying to arrange the clothes back to hide it I grabbed a gown and slid the drawer closed. Crawling in beside Ed a few minutes later I tried not to stiffen when I felt his fingers grip my hip and pull me towards him. I rolled onto my back and forced myself to breathe evenly and stay relaxed while he did what he wanted. I just hoped it was over fast and I could finally go to sleep.

A few weeks later I was at work on a Wednesday night and we weren't as busy as usual so I had been casually chatting with Maggie at the bar. It had been pretty quiet at work and at home for over a week, Ed had found a new drinking buddy and spent a lot of time out of the house only showing up most days to drop me off at work and Sophia at his mom's. He hadn't seemed as angry so aside from a shove here and there I had no new bruises to try and hide and the last ones had faded to a yellowish green and were much easier to hide.

I still avoided Daryl at work, something about the man both fascinated and repelled me at the same time. He kept to himself anyway, he rarely spoke unless spoken to and then would only mumble a reply, more often than not without meeting the speaker's eyes. To be honest, his rude mannerisms had me convinced at first that he was a total ass, but the more I watched him (which I didn't seem to be able to stop myself from doing) the more I recognized things in him that felt familiar. The way he flinched from other people's touch, didn't join in conversations, seemed to always be on the fringe of things, watching but never joining in. Kind of like a wary dog who wanted the company but was scared of getting kicked if he tried to get close. The first time I had these thoughts I scoffed at myself, there was no way a man that strong and virile is afraid of anything. But the more I saw the more I began to recognize a kindred soul, another walking wounded. I still planned to keep my distance regardless, wounded animals tended to bite!

As I listened to Maggie chatter on about a crawfish festival that she and Glen had gone to the weekend before I heard the loud rumble of a motorcycle pulling into the lot. I glanced at the door and noticed Daryl stiffen and stand up from his usual slouch to face the doorway, feet apart and fists balled at his side as if he was expecting trouble. His posture made me tense up also wondering what he knew that I didn't about whoever was about to walk in. The door swung open to reveal a massive man with close cropped, dark hair and a scruffy beard. He was broad shouldered, wide like a line- backer with the kind of swollen biceps that were usually seen on bodybuilders or convicts. He looked to be in his late forties and his skin was tan with the leathery look of someone who spent a lot of time outside. The man had his arm slung around the neck of a bleach blonde who was dressed in as little as possible, she was showing more skin than I was comfortable showing when I was alone, most less in public. He was covered in tattoos that mostly appeared home- made making me figure that those arms came from a prison gym. He had a dangerous look about him, it screamed lethal, reckless. He stopped at the door and clapped Daryl on his shoulder, as he went to walk by Daryl's arm shot out, putting his palm flat against the other man's chest, Daryl leaned in and spoke. I couldn't hear what was said but whatever it was didn't sit well with the older man. He leaned in close to Daryl and said something before slinging his arm away from him and strolling to the bar. Daryl's shoulders heaved with a sigh and he stood and watched the couple take a seat at the bar with a look that was half anger and half concern. Finally he leaned back in his usual spot but his eyes never left never left the man at the bar for long.

"Give me two bud lights sugah" the man drawled to Maggie, throwing a twenty down on the bar before leaning back and looking around. "So, this is where my baby bruther works to keep the peace at huh?"

My head jerked reflexively towards him as I heard his words. Baby brother? This man was Daryl's brother? Looking at him I felt another little piece of the puzzle click into place. This man could very well be physically capable of causing the look in Daryl's eye.

"So you're Daryl's brother?" I heard Glen ask as Maggie sat the open bottles in front of the couple. The man lit a cigarette and blew out a plume of smoke before he turned to Glen and drawled out a reply.

"Yep, what's it to ya China man?"

Glen flushed and swallowed audibly before answering,

"Nothing man, he just never says much, didn't even know he had a brother."

"Yeah, my little bruther ain't one fer small talk. Name's Merle and this 'ere's Lucy", he said, pointing to the girl at his side.

"Hey there Hon" she greeted the boy with a flirty smile, leaning forward so that even more of her already near naked breasts were visible, Glen gulped again and with a quick glance at Maggie from the corner of his eye he turned and busied himself cutting lemons and limes.

Seeing someone raise their glass at me from a table I walked away to tend to my customers. Things picked up and it was hours before I had another minute to breathe. "I'm gonna step out back a minute", I told Maggie as I weaved my way through the crowded room towards the back door. She waved at me in acknowledgement before turning her attention back to the customers in front of her. As the door banged shut behind me I breathed a sigh of relief as it instantly blocked out the noise. I took a deep breath of the clean night air and reached into my apron and pulled out the cigarette I had bummed off of Curtis, the keyboard player, earlier in the evening. Ed had made me quit smoking years before but working in the bar where everyone seemed to smoke, I had gradually picked the habit back up. It wasn't like Ed could figure it out since I smelled like it anyway. It was my one guilty pleasure and if I was honest it was a small way for me to defy my husband. I lit the cigarette and as I exhaled the first lungful of smoke, I felt some of the tension that I always felt leaving my body with the smoke.

"Screw you, Merle. Ya cain't come here with that shit, I need this damn job!"

Daryl's voice, raised in anger, startled me. I peeked around the corner of the building where it seemed to come from, and saw the two brothers face to face. Daryl was standing stiffly, shoulders squared, hands curled into fists by his sides. Merle was more relaxed, he stood facing Daryl, but he didn't look angry, mostly he just looked bored. "Fuck you little bruther, I can go where evah I wanna go wit this shit." He told Daryl with no real heat behind the words.

"There's hunnerts of other places you can go if you wanna get all jacked up on that shit and show out, not here Merle, Ya wanna come here then ya do it straight! Hell man ya ain't even been out a week and ya already back on the dope. Won't be a month fore ya go back inside."

Don't tell me what to do ya little shit." Merle snarled at the younger man before reaching out and slapping Daryl on the side of his head. Daryl shoved his brother's hand away but he backed up a few steps and his voice was lower and sounded almost pleading when he spoke again.

"Come on Merle, just go home, I'll talk to you later."

As he turned to walk off Merle hollered at his back, "That's right little brother, go ya little pussy ass back in there and kiss ol Hank's ass, go do whatever yer told just like always." Daryl's steps faltered and I could see his shoulders tense but he kept walking with his eyes down on his feet. Merle swung on his bike and roared out of the parking lot, slinging gravel and stirring up a cloud of thick dust. I quickly ducked back around the corner before Daryl could look up and know that I had been eavesdropping. Turning around I bumped smack into Ed coming out of the back door of the bar, I instantly froze and threw the cigarette I was holding behind me praying that he hadn't seen it.

"The hell you doing out here? Ed asked as he stepped closer and grabbed me by my arm.

"I just came out to get some air Ed, the smoke was bothering me."

My heart was banging in my chest like a bass drum and I could hear the shakiness in my voice. "I gotta get back inside, still have stuff to do." I told him as I tried to pull away and walk toward the door. He tightened his grip on my arm and as his fingers dug cruelly into my flesh, I was unable to stop the gasp of pain. "Ed please, I wasn't doing anything wrong, I just needed some air." I tried to keep my voice soft and pleading, hoping it would placate him. I needed him to let me go back in and finish my night, if I lost this job I would never be able to get me and Sofia away from him.

"What the hell's going on?" Daryl's gravelly voice rang out from the corner of the building, causing me and Ed both to jump and making Ed loosen his grip on my arm a bit, but still not completely let go of me.

"Just talking pal, it don't concern you none." Ed told him in a hard, clipped voice that I knew was meant to sound intimidating. Daryl met Ed's glare with one of his own and held it for a few long seconds before finally dropping his cobalt blue gaze down to meet mine.

"Ya aight?" He asked me in a softer tone that I had only heard him use once before when talking to a female who had been in the middle of a fight in the bar. Hearing it directed at me this time made me wish I could just run to him and bury my head in his chest and let him protect me, scoffing at myself for being foolish, I just stared into his eyes, hoping he would believe me and trying hard to keep any tremor out of my voice I answered him.

"Yeah, I'm ok, this is my husband, Ed, we were just talking."

"Well, Hank's lookin for ya." He told me, then with one last hard glare in Ed's direction he stepped around us and disappeared through the door.

"We'll finish this tonight." Ed growled before giving me a shove towards the door. I stumbled back inside, my hands and knees both still shaking from a mixture of adrenaline and relief at being away from Ed. I was dreading closing time, knowing what was waiting on me, but also knowing there was no way around it, I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried to focus on my work. I could feel Daryl's eyes on me as I worked, but I never looked up at him and he kept his distance and didn't say anything to me. He seemed totally unfazed by his confrontation with Merle earlier, seemed like it was normal to him, which just made me think my first impression was right.

Chapter 4

I'd had to call in to work the next day, Ed had been careful this time not to leave any marks on my face, but he had used his belt and left my back a bloody mess. I couldn't afford to miss work two days in a row though, so I taped it up the best I could and layered two tank tops under my work T-shirt. I was stiff and sore and moving slow, but hopefully I would be able to pass it off as being weak from the "stomach flu" the day before, which is what I had told Maggie to tell Hank was wrong when I'd called in. My voice had been hoarse from screaming so the girl had no problem believing that I was sick and had told me to be sure and drink plenty and that she hoped it was over quickly before letting me off the phone. The genuine concern in her voice had made me teary eyed and I felt guilty for lying to her.

Ed drove me to work in silence and drove off as soon as I exited the car. Glad to be away from him, I gingerly rolled my shoulders trying to alleviate some of the stiffness before shuffling through the glass door to face the Friday evening crowd. To my surprise, Daryl's arm shot out, blocking my path and I froze, looking up at him. The concern I saw on his face was a stark contrast to the anger I could see simmering deep within his blue eyes, The color was darker than normal, calling to mind a summer sky just before the storm clouds started to gather.

"Were ya really sick yesterday? He asked me in a low tone, his eyes roaming over my face, searching, but I wasn't sure if he was looking for signs that I was lying or for evidence that it was more than the flu. Either way I felt too open and vulnerable when he looked at me that way, I wanted to duck my head and try to hide, but I knew it would only make him more suspicious, so meeting his gaze head on, I prayed that he would accept my answer and let me go.

"Yes Daryl, I had a stomach bug, that's all."

He made a noise in the back of his throat that I interpreted as disbelief, but he dropped his arm and let me go past him without another word. I stayed quiet for the most part and just tried to stay on my feet and survive my shift. It was around midnight and I was headed back to the bar from delivering a tray of beers to a table, I had gathered up all the empties off my tables as I passed them, so my hands were full with the loaded tray. I could feel sweat running down my back and it was making the cuts burn and sting. I was beyond ready for this night to end so that I could get off my feet, but mostly so I could see Sofia. Ed had left her at his mom's to spend the night when he came back to pick me up from work night before last and then he refused to let me go get her yesterday or this morning, I missed her so bad that it was an actual physical pain in my chest.

"What the fuck?" The words, spit out between Daryl's teeth in a hiss, made me jump and I dropped the tray I had been holding, empty beer bottles clattered onto the floor, a couple of them busted on impact, sending glass flying and spraying droplets of beer. Before I had time to react at all he had grabbed my wrist and drug me through the double doors into the empty kitchen. I stood rooted to the spot I had been in when he dropped my wrist, too shocked and scared to move as he paced in front of me, barely restrained rage evident on his face and in the way he held his body.

"Sick my ass!" the man snarled at me, "Since when does the stomach flu make yer fucking back bleed?" stopping in front of me he stood with his hands on his hips and I realized that he was waiting for an answer. I couldn't bring myself to look up at him, I kept my gaze on the floor as my mind raced, frantically trying to come up with an answer that he would believe. Finally with a sigh, I met his eyes, the cobalt blue looked almost black and his entire body shook with anger, it was in those seconds that I knew it was useless to lie, he knew all the signs plus a part of me wanted desperately to admit the truth, to know that, even if they couldn't change anything, someone else knew the hell I lived in every day.

"Just leave it be Daryl, you'll only make it worse." I whispered, fighting to hold back the tears that were suddenly filling my eyes, turning everything around me into a blur of color.

"How the hell could it be worse?" he growled back. Shaking my head I turned around intending to go back into the bar and clean up the mess I'd made. He reached and grabbed my wrist but immediately dropped it when I flinched back from him.

"Ain't nobody got a right to be beatin on you, husband or not! Why don't ya just leave?"

"It's more complicated than that Daryl," I whispered, still unable to meet his eyes for longer than a second at a time. "He has my daughter and he uses her to control me." I saw a new blaze of anger cross his face and my inner voice whispered that maybe he could help, maybe he could be mine and Sofia's way out, but even as I thought it I shook my head, I didn't see any possible way for it to really happen and it wasn't fair of me to drag this man into my hell. I had nowhere to go even if I managed to leave and I knew that if I left and Ed managed to find me that he would kill me or I would kill him. I'd honestly gotten to a point where if it wasn't for my baby girl either scenario would work just fine for me, just an end to it was all I craved. If he killed me, Sofia was left with him and if I killed him, I would be in prison and Sofia would end up in the system or with his mom. The thought of any of the three scenarios becoming my daughter's reality terrified me. I just had to be strong until Sofia graduated and I could get her into college, once she was safely away I could put an end to it one way or another. Daryl was the first person that I'd ever openly admitted the abuse to, but there was that look in his eyes that I knew was there because he had been the one abused at some point in his life. I didn't know if it was Merle or his parents or hell for all I knew it might have been both, but now I was more sure than ever that I was right. He had seen Ed for what he was almost immediately and he had seen right through my lies and excuses. There was a sense of relief that I hadn't expected in having someone else know the truth even if he couldn't do anything about it.

"I appreciate the concern Daryl, I really do, but I'll be fine, I've got no choice but to be ok. If I had somewhere safe to go I would leave in a heartbeat, but there's nowhere." I turned once more to leave the kitchen and once more he reached to stop me.

"Ya cain't go back out there like this, at least let me help ya get your back cleaned up and I got a clean Hank's tee in my bag ya can wear."

I turned back to him with a resigned sigh, knowing he was right. Our work shirts were just cotton T-shirts with Hank's bar and grill on them and they came in a variety of colors. The one I was wearing tonight was a light blue so I knew the blood would stand out. Daryl grabbed the first aid kit from under a counter where we all knew Hank kept it and followed me into the "break room". It was really just a small storage room with a card table and two folding metal chairs on one side and an ancient snack machine with a rolling metal cart holding a microwave beside it. I turned one of the chairs around backwards and straddled it as he sat the kit on the table and starting digging through it. I jumped as I felt his fingers brush against my skin at the top of my jeans.

"S'alright," he said in a low soothing voice, "Just gotta get your shirt up."

His words made my stomach flutter and I felt my nipples tighten, I flushed in embarassment even though I knew there was no way he could know what images had ran through my head at his innocent statement. Cussing myself for being a fool, I helped him lift my shirt up over my head, groaning as the movement pulled the skin on my back, causing it to sting anew. I let him figure out how to lift the two undershirts off, knowing that the less I lifted my arms the better it would be for me. I heard his breath hiss between his teeth as the full expanse of my back was bared to him.

"Goddammit, that sorry motherfucker! Gonna go find him and kill his pussy ass!"

I rested my forearms on the back of the chair and laid my head on top of them, I didn't comment on his angry words. I knew that I should be feeling more than I was, I mean at the very least I should be embarassed. Here I am, half-naked in front of what was essentially a stranger; but I was too numb to care. I just feel tired and broken, and odd as it is, Daryl doesn't feel like a stranger. I jumped and sucked in a breath as the antibacterial spray he was using set my back on fire.

"Shit, sorry, I know this shit burns, but I figgered it'd be better than trying to wipe it." He explained.

"It's ok", I told him. Then jumped again as I felt cool air hit my skin, instantly easing the stinging. My mouth opened in disbelief as I realized what it was. This rugged, hard-ass redneck was blowing on my back. His gentleness about did me in, I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I gripped the back of the chair until my fingertips grew numb trying not to break down. I felt him gently patting my back dry, but it didn't really hurt so I began to relax a little.

"Imma fold yer shirt and put it under the others to pad it and then you can put this on." He laid a dark grey Hank's tee on the table beside me. He held my now folded shirt in place as I struggled back into my undershirts, once we had them situated he moved aside and started repacking the first aid kit. I slipped the shirt over my head, it was too big, but it would do ok once I got it tucked in. It smelled like laundry detergent but there was an underlying hint of something leathery and male that I found pleasing.

I was getting ready to head back out into the bar and help with the cleaning when Daryl's soft, southern drawl stopped me.

"So if ya had a place to go and someone to protect ya'll then you'd leave him?"

"Yes Daryl, but there's nowhere like that, not for us."

"Where's yer kid at right now?"

The thought of Sophia and how much I ached to see her made my voice come out shaky. "She's either with Ed or still at his mom's house but he will bring her with him when he comes to pick me up, he always does."

Daryl didn't say anything else for a minute and I wondered what he was thinking about.

Suddenly he closed the lid on the kit with a snap and turned to look at me. His cobalt blue eyes searched my face briefly before he spoke.

"Stay in here and rest, I'll tell Maggie and Glen that yer still not feeling good and we'll finish up."

I shook my head and opened my mouth to protest when he cut me off with an aggravated growl, "Dammit woman just sit down, I said we got this. Let me at least do that fer ya!"

Too tired to find it in myself to argue I just slowly sank down into the chair that I had only recently vacated. "Thank you Daryl." I whispered softly. He just turned and disappeared out the door without another word. I immediately felt his absence, like all the warmth left the room with him and it was all I could do to not get up and run after him. I barely knew the man, but I had never felt as safe as I did when he was tending to me. I laughed at myself and shook my head, a few weeks ago I was half scared of him and now just because he had shown me a little concern I was ready to turn him into some kind of white knight. I really was as pathetic as Ed was always saying I was.

The hour or so alone had given me time to pull myself back together. At 2:20 I walked out the door with the rest of my co-workers, a bit more pep in my step than I thought I was capable of, eager to see Sofia. Ed's car was parked closer to the door than usual and as I opened the door to get in I froze in fear, I couldn't catch my breath, my vision dimmed and there was a roaring in my ears that sounded like a freight train running through my head. Laying on the seat where I would have to move it to sit down was my mama's bible. 'He's gonna kill me this time!' I let go of the door and backed up until my body ran into something.

"Get in the car Carol!" Ed ordered. I remained rooted to the spot still too much in shock to even wonder what the unyielding but warm surface against my back was. The blind panic and fear was all I could focus on. A couple of weeks back I had waited until Ed was out of the house with his drinking buddy so that I knew he wouldn't be back for awhile and I had gotten the bible out and cut a hole in the middle of the pages like I had seen someone do on t.v. and had fixed it so that even with it sitting out on my dresser you couldn't tell that it was anything but a normal bible. There had been right at seven hundred dollars in it that day.

"Don't make me tell ya again woman!"

Ed's voice cut through my terror, but I still just stood there shaking, unable to move. It wasn't until I heard Sofia's voice that I snapped out of it a little. I was finally able to break the almost hypnotic pull of the bible on my seat and turn my gaze to the back seat where she was rolling down her window. I saw the tears welling up in her big sky blue eyes before they began to roll down her face.

"I'm so sorry Mommy, I just wanted to look at Nana's bible."

Her words painted a picture for me of what had happened and as much as I wanted to go to her and hug her, to tell her that I wasn't mad and that it wasn't her fault, all I could do was stand there and stare at Ed in horror. He had opened his door and started around the car towards me, as he reached the front of the car I reflexively tried to back up farther and it was then that Daryl spoke and I realized that I had backed into him and he had just been standing there quietly watching all of this play out. I had no idea what he said, I registered his voice, but comprehending the words was beyond me at the moment.

I was almost hyperventilating at this point, Ed was almost to my side of the car when a loud rumble grabbed his attention and cut through some of my blind panic. The rumbling got louder, becoming a roar as a shiny black motorcycle pulled up right beside Ed, effectively blocking his path to me. My fear was turning to confusion as I saw that the driver of the bike was Daryl's brother, Merle. The big man put the kickstand down and swung off the bike to stand in front of Ed, dwarfing him and making him look almost childlike in comparison.

"It's all gon' be ok." Daryl whispered to me, his breath warm against the side of my neck.

"Hold up there pardner," Merle drawled at Ed "seems like me and yous needs to have a little chat."

Ed took a step to the side like he was going to try to go around Merle and when the larger man moved with him, Ed sneered at him. "This don't concern you none, I am just here to get my wife. Why don't you just move on and mind yer own damn bidness."

Merle smirked down at Ed and threw a grin over his shoulder at Daryl before he answered. "Well now, see that's where we got ourselves a little difference of opinion, Cause see, my little bruther called and asked for my help so the way I see it that sorta makes this my bizness." There was a tone to Merle's voice that made it clear to me that he was enjoying this and that he was just toying with the smaller man. I tried to process his words in my already overloaded brain. When did Daryl call him? After our talk in the kitchen? What had been his plan? There was a lot of stuff I wanted answers for, but I knew it was all gonna have to wait. As Merle spoke I saw Daryl's old beat up grey truck easing around the side of the building. It rolled to a stop beside Merle's bike. The guy behind the wheel was dark haired and scruffy looking, I vaguely remembered him coming in the bar one night to see Daryl and hearing him introduce himself to Maggie, trying to get her number. What was his name? T-Bo? Debo? I couldn't remember exactly, I just remember that Daryl seemed relaxed around him which was rare. Ed's voice pulled me out of my musings and I returned my attention back to the drama unfolding in front of me. Ed's face was so red it looked purple as he yelled and cussed at Merle, the redneck just stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face.

"Git yer girl outta the car." Daryl instructed me in a low tone as he gently pushed me in her direction. All of a sudden it hit me, this was it! It was all going to end right here, either me and Sofia were going to get away or I was going to die. With a sob I lurched towards the car. Ed noticed me move and seeing what my intentions were he tried to move towards me but Merle shoved him back.

Ed screamed at me, "Don't touch her you bitch, Sofia don't you dare get outta that car, do you hear me girl? You better mind yer Daddy now!"

Sofia shrank back onto the car seat in fear and I froze with my hand on the handle, unable to complete the steps necessary to open it. Ed's voice had paralyzed us both as it usually did. Suddenly Merle landed a punch to Eds face, the lick knocked him back against the hood of the car and the sound of flesh on flesh snapped me out of my paralysis. Ed took a step forward again and grabbing him by the throat Merle shoved him back against the hood and spoke over his shoulder to us.

"Go on woman, get yer girl and go. Daryl get 'em in yer truck, you and Jimbo load my bike in the back and pull around front, the kid don't need to see this."

Daryl walked to my side and gently pushing my hand out of the way he opened the door, bending down he reached a hand into the backseat to Sofia. "come on darlin', I'm gonna get you and yer mama outta here." He spoke to her in a soft gentle voice, sort of like he used with me earlier but there was a different tone to it and even in the middle of all the chaos I realized that Ed had never used a tone anywhere near it with our daughter, not once in her ten years of life. When Sofia hesitated, looking from where Merle held her father then to where I stood behind Daryl, to the side a bit where I could see her. "It's ok girl" Daryl coaxed her, "I ain't gonna hurt ya and we ain't gonna let yer old man hurt ya'll either."

Slowly Sofia scooted across the seat in Daryl's direction and reaching out she laid her hand in his and let him lead her outside of the car. As soon as both of her feet were on the ground I grabbed her and crushed her to me.

"sometime tonight little brother." Merle yelled over his shoulder, he was still holding Ed by his throat against the hood. Ed just stood there, not even bothering to struggle. Blood was trickling from his nose and his eyes were spewing hate in my direction.

"Come on, we gotta go." Daryl said as he put his hand on the small of my back to guide me towards the truck. He helped us both climb into the backseat and shut the door before walking back and rolling the bike over to the truck. The driver hopped out and the two had it loaded into the bed of the truck rather quickly. They both got into the front and as the truck started to move, I hugged Sofia to me and began rubbing her back in soothing circles, I wasn't sure which one of us I was really trying to comfort. It looked like we were really going to get away.

Daryl kept glancing over his shoulder at me, but he didn't say anything. We had been sitting in the front lot for about ten minutes when a knock on the window made us all jump. I relaxed a bit when I saw Merle's grinning face pressed to Daryl's window.

"In the back little brother, less'n ya wanna ride bitch."

Daryl got out and slid into the back seat on the driver's side. As Merle reached to pull the door shut I noticed the blood on his knuckles and I wondered how bad he had hurt Ed. Daryl seemed to read my mind because he leaned up and asked "How much damage'd ya do?"

Throwing a grin over his shoulder Merle shrugged "He's still breathing, for now." This answer seemed to satisfy Daryl because he leaned back with a nod.

"Oh yeah," Merle said turning back around to me, "I got something for ya sugah", he thrust something into my hand and turned back around. When I opened my hand I saw a roll of cash. He had taken the money off of Ed. I just stared at the back of his head for a minute, eyes wide in disbelief. Not knowing what to say I just shoved the roll of bills into my jeans pocket and leaned back.

After a short time of driving in silence, Jimbo suddenly pulled the truck over under a grove of trees and cut the engine. He turned around in the seat and addressed Daryl.

"Aight D, You got them, just like ya wanted, now what the hell ya gonna do with 'em?"

Daryl threw a quick glance at me and I could see a flash of embarassment cross his face at the other man's words. I didn't analyze it like I normally would have because the casually spoken words made me realize that I was homeless and on the run with my child, pretty much at the mercy of three men that I knew almost nothing about. My earlier feelings of excitement and relief were starting to fade, slowly being replaced by fear and doubt, I reached up and ran my shaking fingers through my short brown hair. 'Out of the frying pan and into the fire' as my mama would've said. Leave it to me, I thought with and with a rueful shake of my head, I tuned back into the conversation being had between the three men.

Chapter 5

The two brothers were throwing out ideas, trying to figure out the best thing to do with me and Sofia. I tried to pay attention, I didn't feel inclined to make any suggestions of my own, partly because I had nothing to offer and partly because the older Dixon intimidated the hell out of me. Finally Jimbo broke into the discussion,

"Hey Merle, do you still got that shack of yer Daddy's that we used to party at?

Both of the Dixon men stopped talking and turned to look at him then back to me and Sofia. It was finally decided that the men would take us to my house first to get some of our stuff and then they would take us to this "Shack" that Jimbo had reminded them about and we would stay there until we could come up with a long term solution.

I gave them directions to the house and when we pulled up in front of it a few minutes later, I started to feel scared again, if we didn't need our clothes and a few other items that I didn't want to lose I would tell them to just drive on. Daryl must have seen something on my face because he reached out and touched my arm to get my attention. He waited until I looked over at him to speak.

"I promise you he won't be in no shape to drive home yet, I know my brother."

Once again wondering how the man seemed to always know what I was thinking, I nodded at him and sucking in a deep steadying breath I opened the door and went to climb down out of the truck. Before my feet could touch the ground Merle was standing beside me, taking my arm he steadied me as I slid the two feet down to solid ground. As Sofia slid over to follow me out I felt a flare of panic, I did not want her to ever go back in that house, I knew I was being unreasonable, Ed was not even here, but I felt like if she went in there I might never be able to get her out again. Merle either saw some of what I was feeling or else being spookily intuitive was a Dixon family trait because he reached over the seat and gently took hold of Sofia's shoulder.

"Whyn't ya stay in the truck with me and Jimbo little darlin, Daryl'll go wit yer mama and keep her safe." Sofia looked at me and when I nodded at her she settled back against the seat. She didn't say anything, but her eyes were shining with unshed tears and with a surge of guilt I opened my mouth to tell her that it was ok, that she could come with me, but before I could say anything Daryl reached my side and with a small reassuring smile to Sofia, he took my arm in a gentle, yet firm grip and started to steer me away from the truck and in the direction of the house.

"I'll be right back sweetheart, it's ok." I called to her over my shoulder and with a nod of thanks to Merle I followed Daryl's broad back up the concrete drive and onto the porch.

As we entered the house I walked straight into the kitchen and reaching under the kitchen sink I pulled out a roll of black garbage bags and headed down the hall into Sofia's room, with Daryl followed silently on my heels. Flipping on the light I stood just inside the door and looked around, taking in all of the different shades of pink and blue and remembering all of the time we had spent together picking out each item and making it just like Sofia had wanted it. In a way, as glad as I was to be leaving, I was also sad that she would have to give up all of her stuff, she loved her room and I felt guilty to be the reason she wouldn't have it anymore. I gave myself a mental shake and squaring my shoulders I pulled a bag off the roll, shook it open and walked over to her dresser. Pulling open the top drawer I started stuffing all of the clothes into the bag.

"Yer gonna need covers and stuff, so do you want me to strip her bed?"

Daryl's soft voice came from behind me, and turning to look at him, I pulled another bag off and held it out to him. "Yeah, thanks." I answered.

With both of us working we quickly had all of her clothes and covers ready to go. Crossing to her closet, I rummaged around until I found a duffel bag and I filled it with a few of her favorite toys and a few books that I knew she liked, grabbing a coloring book and box of crayons off of her desk and adding it to the bag, I zipped it up and with Daryl's help sat all of it out in the hall before turning the light back off and heading down the hall to the room that I had shared with Ed. As I reached for the door knob Daryl told me to hold up a second. Pausing I watched in confusion as he went back up the hall and into the living room where I heard him yell for Jimbo.

"He can be loading stuff in the truck while we finish packing." Daryl stuck his head back into the hall and said in explanation, he disappeared from view again and I heard their voices murmuring before they both walked into the hall and Jimbo started picking up the pile of bags while Daryl walked back over to me and followed me into my room. As I headed for our closet I saw Daryl reaching for the covers on the bed.

"No! Not those!" I yelled, causing him to jerk back and look at me. "I'd rather freeze!" I said in a quieter tone, and with a look that let me know he got it he walked over to me.

"What else goes?" he asked as he reached to rake the roll of bags from my hand.

I pointed out two plastic totes in the floor of the closet, one held all of Sofia's baby stuff and the other was full of my picture albums and some of my mama's stuff. He pulled them out into the hall to be loaded into the truck as I quickly threw the clothes from my dresser into bags, finishing them off with a few of my favorite pieces that were on hangers. Going into the bathroom I shoved our shampoo and conditioner and shower gel into a new bag along with toothbrushes and toothpaste and my bag of make-up. Opening the medicine cabinet I opted for just sweeping its entire contents along with all the stuff from the bottom cabinet into a bag to sort out later. Moving to the hall closet I filled two more bags with towels, washrags and blankets and sheets.

"Hey Daryl", I called down the hall to where he was helping Jimbo, "Is there cleaning stuff and food there?"

He walked into the kitchen where I had just entered, his boots completely silent on the linoleum. "Prolly not", he told me gnawing on the side of his thumb and not making eye contact.

With a sigh I opened another bag and filled it with the cleaning stuff and sponges from under the kitchen sink, throwing in a few dishrags and towels as an afterthought I tied the bag and handed it off to Daryl along with the broom, mop and dustpan. I filled one last bag with stuff from the fridge and pantry, giving a last look around I grabbed my mama's old cast iron skillet off the stove and decided that I was through.

Daryl met me in the living room and reaching to take the bag and the skillet he handed them off to Jimbo and turning back to me he asked if I was done. Not trusting my voice to speak without breaking, I looked down at the ring on my left hand, I stared at it for a long second before twisting it off violently, I slung it towards the hall as hard as I could, feeling a hollow sense of satisfaction as I heard it hit the wall and clatter onto the floor. I raised my eyes and locked them with Daryl's.

"Now I'm done." I said as I stepped past him to go out the door. With a small grin he followed me out leaving the door standing open behind him. As we loaded back up in the truck I turned and watched the house that had been my own personal hell for years until I couldn't see it anymore. As it finally disappeared from my sight completely, I let out the breath that I had not even realized I was holding, I pulled Sofia closer to my side and turned to face the front again. For the first time in longer than I could remember I had hope. I'd forgotten how good it felt.

Chapter 6

When we finally pulled into the yard of the place that was to be our home for a while, the sun was coming up, turning the sky that was visible over the tops of the trees into a neon blaze of pink, red and orange. I was too emotionally and physically exhausted to really enjoy it or to even notice much about our surroundings. Sofia had long since fallen asleep with her head on my thigh and had ended up with her legs stretched over the seat and her feet in Daryl's lap. I had tried to move her, but he'd just shook his head and told me she was fine where she was and to let her rest. "The shack" as the brother's called it was a three hour drive from Atlanta and set way back in the woods, about a mile off of the main road so my rescuers felt like it would be a safe place. I was too numb to give much thought to safety or anything else except sleep, I was still terrified of Ed finding us, but for some reason I felt safer here with these crude, rough-talking rednecks than I had felt anywhere since I had left my childhood home. My first glimpse of our new abode revealed a small brown, wooden house with a sagging wood porch. There was a screen door held open with a broken chunk of what appeared to be a cinder block. Too tired to notice any more details, I climbed down from the truck, groaning as my back rubbed across the seat. As I reached in to get Sofia Daryl stepped into the space between me and the open door.

"Let me get 'er, ya don't need to be lifting on 'er, might re-open yer back."

I silently moved aside and watched him as he eased an arm under her shoulders, taking the time to move her hair so it wouldn't get pulled, he slowly slid her across the seat towards him until he was able to slip his other arm under her knees, he lifted her from the truck and turned towards the porch with me trailing behind. She mumbled something and I heard him gently shushing her as he shifted her a bit to cradle her closer to his chest. Her own father had never held her, not even as a baby and I had never heard him say anything in a gentle, kind way to her. Watching Daryl with her made me want to cry, her father should have been a man like him, she deserved that!

Merle was already on the porch and he reached around and pushed open the heavy wood door, "Watch your step", he warned as he entered ahead of us. I stepped across the threshold and took a quick glance around. I got a brief impression of a small room with stuff thrown around everywhere and a brown couch that looked way past its prime. I didn't have time to look around much more because I heard Daryl's voice coming beside me.

"J-bo, get the bag of covers from the truck so I can lay the kid down."

As Jimbo ducked back out the door, I followed Daryl through one of the only two visible doors which turned out to be a bedroom. Flicking the lights on with his elbow, he walked over and leaned against a low wooden dresser that was pushed against the wall on one side of the small room. The dresser, a queen sized bed and a small bedside table took up almost all of the available space, leaving pathways between them that were barely wide enough to walk through.

"Fer tonight ya prolly gon' want to just throw yer cover over the top of those." Daryl told me, pointing towards the bed with his chin. Nodding to let him know I had heard, I thought about offering to take Sofia, who he was still holding cradled against his chest. But I honestly didn't feel strong enough to hold her weight and he didn't really seem to mind holding her. Jimbo walked back in with the two bags of covers and our pillows. I reached out to take them but he pulled the bag back out of my reach.

"I got it", he told me as he ripped open the top of one of the bags and made short work of spreading a dark brown quilt over the bed, laying the pillows out and spreading Sofia's turquoise cover over the top. I couldn't help but smile as I watched him take time to turn down the top cover before moving away. As he walked past me I reached out and caught hold of his arm, he stopped and gave me a questioning look.

"Thank you", I whispered. Nodding at me, he reached out and gently squeezed my hand before continuing out the door. Turning back, I watched as Daryl stepped over to the bed and eased Sofia down onto the mattress, being careful not to wake her as he slid his arm out from under her. My mouth fell open when instead of walking away like I expected him to, he reached and slipped her shoes off her feet, sitting them neatly on the floor beside the bed before pulling the cover up over her and tucking it softly around her shoulders. I found myself fighting back tears, without even thinking about it I stepped forward and threw my arms around his neck. He instantly stiffened and I knew I should let go, but I held onto him for a few seconds longer, he kept his arms down beside him and stayed tense but he didn't push me away..

"I don't know how to thank you, there aren't even words..." I whispered to him.

"Ain't looking fer thanks", he said gruffly, but I smiled as I felt his hand pat my shoulder once before he eased back away from me. "Merle's gonna take Jimbo back to Atlanta and bring the truck back later, he's leavin the bike so I can go get whatever we need." He turned and headed for the door, pausing with his hand on the knob he turned to look at me, "I will be right out here on the couch if ya need anything, try to get some rest." With one last glance at Sofia he left, closing the door with a quiet click. I briefly gave thought to trying to dig out something to sleep in, but I was bone tired and decided it just wasn't worth it. I carefully removed the shirts Daryl had padded my back with earlier, and toeing off my shoes, I slid my jeans off and crawled into bed in just my panties and Daryl's t-shirt. I curled myself around Sofia and with the feel of her warm breath on my face I instantly fell into exhausted sleep, feeling safer than I had in years.

I woke up the next morning to bright sunlight shining determinedly between the broken blinds on the room's one grimy window. Turning my head on the pillow I was met with a pair of bright, curious cerulean eyes. Seeing that I was awake Sofia sat up and leaned over me, "Where are we Mama?" She whispered while glancing unsurely around at the unfamiliar surroundings.

"We are at a friend of mine's cabin, we may be staying here for awhile…" I answered her, reaching to smooth an unruly blonde curl back behind her ear. Watching her face closely I searched for the right words to try to explain it to her. "Baby, after last night you know that we can never go back and live with your father right?"

"Where will we live then?" She asked me softly, chewing on her lip and staring over me at the wall.

"Daryl and Merle will help us for now, we will stay here until I figure it all out but it's all gonna be okay Sof, I promise baby."

It took a few long seconds for her to reply or to look at me, I held my breath, not sure what her reaction to all of it was going to be. Hell I still didn't know how I felt about all of it and I was grown, it was an awful lot to expect a ten year old child to deal with. Lost in my own thoughts, it took me a few minutes to realize that Sofia had shifted her attention back to me and was staring, watching the play of emotions over my face with an expression that was entirely too grown up and made me feel vulnerable and exposed. "I'm glad we're never going back there, I hate Daddy! He hits you and he yells all the time and I know that he don't even love me." She spat out. My heart broke hearing that my child felt like her daddy didn't love her and I wanted to hug her and tell her it wasn't true, that he did love her, but I honestly wasn't sure that he did, I feel like he sees her more as a possession and as a tool to use to keep me under his thumb and I was just too blind to see the effect it was having on Sofia before now. Reaching out to pull her into my chest, I wondered what I could say to even begin to heal the damage Ed had done. Suddenly Sofia sat up beside me, her blue eye wide and her forehead wrinkled up.

"Mommy, how did I get in here from the truck?"

"Daryl carried you in and put you in bed." I told her, biting my bottom lip to hold back a laugh. Her eyes got even widened as she processed the idea.

"He must be really strong." She finally said

"Mmmhmm" I murmured back, still trying not to laugh at her.

Switching tracks almost faster than I could follow she fired another question at me. "What about school, how will I get there?"

"Well sweetie, for now you won't. I will see if I can get some books and homeschool you for now, I know this is all different and it may be hard at first, but we are gonna figure it all out."

"I just want you to laugh again Mommy, plus this place looks ok, I don't mind staying here." I pulled her back down onto my chest and wrapped her up in my arms, mostly just because I needed to feel her solid and safe in my arms, but also to hide the tears in my eyes caused by her words. I didn't want her to misunderstand them and be upset. We lay there cuddling and I reached back in my memories trying to find the last time we had been able to just relax and enjoy something this simple without fear. I couldn't remember another time. Sofia propped her chin up on my side and looked up at me. "Mama?"

"What baby?" I murmured.

"Is there a kitchen and a bathroom here? 'Cause I am starving and I really gotta pee!" Laughing, I slung back the covers and sat up, ignoring the sharp pain in my back when I moved.

"Well, hand me my jeans over there off the floor and we'll go see what we can find."