jO bekke at HUgwRts
Chapter 1
AN Dis iiz mi stury. MI friend edited it 4 me. You're the best, Darry!
BOOK 1: JO BELLE POTTER AND THE SORCERURS STON
Chapter 1: Dumbledore
Mi nam is Jo bele Susie lilee Puttr. I waz drupped uff at mi uncl and ants hose. wen I waz 3 da dark lurd volddenut killd mi parents. I used to hav a bruthr but he livs in engglnd. Now mi ant in uncl in sutth carulia razed me. Dey r abusive. Dey rap and hurt me.
I hav durty blond hair, that hangs down to mi feet. i hav dimond blu ies dat sparkl. Sometimes my eis are green or yellow. OI am super hot!111111111
1 dae I waz wlkin doewn da street nd I cm hom der was a ledder on da doorstep. I gspd!11111111111111 it sad hugwurts skill od wickraaf nd wizrdy. I tried to get it butt sdunely… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .. .. ..
A knif came me!111111111111111 Im fast thouh, so I caut it nd thru it bak at mi dum uncl.
it hit him in da crocht and he did. den antie Beatrice cam up. "U klld mi usbnd u freek!111111111111111"
Hes nut ded.' I told hur. Den I wavd mi hnd n he cam bak to lif! "Jpo bel!" he screemd
Mi ant thru me acruss the rume.\ I hit da wull nd nearly pasd out!
"wuts dat letr u hav,' jo bel?" ant betric askd
"NOOO" Uncl sd.
"I hut wed stuppd it!" ant betrik sad.
"den unl grvaed be nd thruuu me acrss da rume. DEN DA DUR FLU OPEN!111111111.. ….. .. .. . . .. .
An old man was der. He had a long blak beerd. He spok in an awsum suthurn bretesh axnt. "I am Pruffsr ALbis Peeter Quintin alexndr Dumbldur!111111111" he crid.
A flash uv litenin was seen oteside da durr. It lukeed lik mi scar. I hav a scar ov a litenn bult on mi 4hd.
Dumbldur sd. "Cum w/ me jo bel I hav ur bruthur."!1
2 B CNTUUD!
Chapter 2
A?n This da second chappy, I hop u lik it!11 Thanks to Darrel for da ediding! Ur da best.
Chapter 2: Harre Putter
Dumdumfore tuk mi 2 Englend. It waz relly cull. I saw a olot ov peple there. Wen one of those stinky Nurthurnurs cam up, I killed thm. NOrthernurs ar so stupid. Den Dumumdor tok me to ribet Driv. We knoked up the door. A fat gay boy ansered the dur.
/hoo r u" he aksed.
"don talk to me GAYY."
"Dadddyy, he said, running away and crying.
Then a 11 yeer old boy cam up. "Who r u.' he asked
:Im prufesxsr dumfumdoor, and dis iz y=r sister."
"I;m jo bell,' I told him;
"im… … … … … … … … … … … … … …. … … … … … … … … … … Harre POTTER!
bcuntined
Chapter 3
A/N Daryll ur da bes. Thanks 4 edidin.
CHaptre 3: The trpi 2 Digon Alee.
"Im HAree Potter," HE SAID.
'NO WAE," i sed. "im ur sister."
"cull he sed,"
Then I noticd somthin. "Y do u hav a Suthern axent wen your from Enhglend?"
"Cuz Im frum Suthern Englend lol."
"LOl'"
"Don't u hat northurnurs?" he sad.
\
"I knoe rite/"
Dumduldur agreed. "now its tim to go 2 Digon Allee."
"But wat aout mi cousins?"
"Dey're stupid Northernors so it don't matter."
"Good, I jus hat them :
"Now, Jo bekke Will do the majic. Now, telepotr us to Diafon Ally!"
I said the incantation. Suddnly we were in Digon Alley!
2 BE CONTINUED!11111111111111111
Chapter 4
aN: So, tanks to Daryl 4 fixin da gramer. Ur da best! Flamrs: GO 2 HELL!
Chapter $: DIgon Aley purt 1
Profesur dumbledum tuk us to a stor calld Grignots. Yo can get free monee ther. Wee go in. A gremlin cums up to us. "oH U mus b jO bEkk potter. Weve been watein 4 u. o nd hllo harre."
Dumbldum commntd on his status, "luk her gremlin, jus tak us to der vault, and NOT de enegy drink, ok, do, you, get, that mistr 'helo jO beKL?"
The gremln srummk in feer. "Yes, jus dnt hrt me."
/I wnt hrt u, but jO beKKE might!
The gremlin sed, "letz\s go 2 ur valt."
We got in da sports car and druve into da valt. "Bi da wae mi nam iz golum," da gremlin sed.
GoLUm tuk us doewn into da valt. "Is this da valt," I aksd.
"Yeperoo,' golumn saeid.
'Iz this da valt,l" haree askd/
"Yes."
Dmbldurm tuk jo bELe and haree into the lair. DER WAS A DRAGON DER!111111
2 B CUNTOUED
Chapter 5
A/N: Stop FLamIm u r stupid nd gae! GO 2 HEKLK!
Chpaarte 5: Da mystikel dregon
DER WAZ A DRAGEN DER!11111111111
Gollum sed, ' u hav 2 dfeet da dregon w? ur pwors 2 get 2 da vult.
"k," hare end ei sed.
We wnen in but haree got scrd. I hd to go in by myslf. Jo bElle wen in.
Da Dragen was ornge aand spok in a northurn axent. "Im da dregon hoo gurds Grinworts!"
"GO TO HELL~!#$%^'./,./
I stebbd da drehoon thur the hert. It died.
"GO JO BEKLE! GO JI BKEL! 123 GOGOGO!" Dumdubledumre SCREEMED NGRILY
"WHOS DA DREGON SLEYOR? N U R! WHOS DA PRETTYST MOST AMAZNG SXYEST BUTIFUL AMZING SXY WONDRFUL GILR? JPO BELLE PUTTER" Du,mblurode Gooluu, Haree, and snale sad.
Gremlin sed, "nowe u mae pass into da chamber uv trrezures.
2 b CONTNUED!
Chapter 6
A/N Ty Darel for fixin da gramer erurs. Ur da vvest.
Chaptr 6: Trezur
Dumblrus sd drastically, "he iz ur twreszrue"
"OMFGTISA" I seD sadly.
"Dnt b so happe jo bEKl;e,' hary sed.
"Ut dis iz mor monee den I evr ceen b4" jo Belke sed.
We entrd da trezur rum cotiouslee. We wlkd inid n hrd somtin. Den we luked in. SNALE AND KWERREL WERE DOING IT TOGEDER!
Chapter 7
A?n Jus cuz u dnt lik a stry dsnt meen u need 2 b meen. GO 2 ur prbablee a gae blak nurthurnur.
Chptwer 7: I git rtch/
Dmbldumr flu In on hiz brume and beet them up. "Yall r hugwerts teachers, yer supposed to be bettr den dis!:
"UR STYUPID ND GAE!: I sae melodramcitaaly
"
Snal sad, "y do u hav to b meen to gaes wer humen 2!"
'NO UR NT! UR LUSERS WITH NO LIFE. GO 2 GELL!1111111111111111"
Snal and kwirril strtrs krying. Dey ren ote of da rume crieng.
DumBLDUM "Dose gAE PEopLE AR So STupiId."
"I knoe arry sed,
Den Harwey nd ei got ur trezure.
SDDNLY GolluM sut us in da trezur rume.
Dumbllydum creed ote, "O KNOEW WAT SALL I DOO? "
He wEN nd KnicKED on dA dURE. "lET us Ote u STUPID BlAK gremlin."
"NVR I LUV MISLF, noew I shell snd mi menyons to rap u."
Den I usEd my majicel abilettees to zap us ote. I klld GuLLum.
DEN?| ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? GOLUM CAM BAK 2 LIF!1111111111111
2 b CONTNIUED1!#$%^&*()
Chapter 8
A.n: UR WRONG!11111111 THE northurnurs r a bunch of dum librels. THE SOUTH R THE 1s WHO WRK!11 THE NRTHurNURS WULD HAv us STUK up OnN HELTP CAAR We WRK DA FLDS U LUSRS sit in facterees aand complaen aLL dae log., ur StuPID FAT, And UGLEEE! DUMDUMBELRE IS NOT GAE! AND IF HE WAS HED GO 2 HELL!1!111111111111111 IIf u FlaaM ur ObvOUDSLY hjuST A stupid LIbrel Demcrat who DON'T knoe hOW to WoRK :P NORTHURNURS R MUCH STuPIDER,
Chaptr 8: DE eSCPA fruM Gngiotes
AFTR goluM cam bak to lif we celbratd. It TRned OtTE he waz juS bein ConTROled by sum supid librel. Cuz dats wat librels do, dey r control freeks.
Den da greMIlds tuld us we had to leeve noew. We lf to go to Medem Milpkinths. Dere was sum freek der. Hhe had blond heir, but he wsnt suthrn. He waz ubvusly nutherm. Haree sat on 1sid an I sat on deotherr.
:Who r u musnboled:"
"I,m jO bEklle puttr, n dis iz mi bruthr," I sed stinlkly.
:JJO BELLE PORTER!/?"
"Yep, dats me,' I sed..
"I dint tink a suthrnur culd be so SXY.:
"UR STUPID,' I jumPED on hem nd kikd his boodee/ "HAHA' luser,' is ede.
"Y O Y" DarKo crede.
"BcuZ ure a DUM nUTHernur aand dats wat haoons"
Den HAMLET CAM up. " he dumbduymlr wntd to tll u somthin, he sed obtusely. …. ….. …. … … … … … .. ….
2 B CONTNINUED
Bi Da WaE NORTHERURS SUK!111111111111111111
Chapter 9
A.N: Danks 4 darryl 4 chkin dis/ Ur da bst.
Cahprt 9: Dumblumdores mesage
Harmlt tuk us 2 Dumblumdur. "Helo dumdhumrr,' hamlt sed.
"Helo Prufessor Haarmlet" Dumbumbledore said.
"jO beLLE and HaARe dis is Professur Hamlet. He is daa keeper of da kees a HUgwerts."
"Helo Prufessor Haglet," HaRRE amd ei sad.
"Yes, I em Prufesor Hagmet.:
Dumblum lafed ridikilosely. "alrite chldrn I need to tll u somthin."
"Wat iz it?" jo BelLe asked,
"Itz tim to go… … … … … .. … … PIK OTEUR WANDS!"
We wnt 2 pck ote our wands. We wlkd doewn da street. BUT… …. … … … …. …. …. … … . … … HAMLET WAS STILL STALKIN US!1!
"R u a pedow?" I asked.
"No! I just waaantd to knoe somthin!"
Dumbldor sied. "lUK her hamlet, Your just a silly scotish persin."
Hamlit strtd to cri. "Iem surry prufsor."
"dats ok, u scotish people r jus lik oour pets."
"Can I git a raze?"
Dumbleumr lafed evly. "Y WULD I GIV u a RAZE? Go away u SIMPLE MINDED KREEP!"
Harmlet sarted crien agin. Den he run off.
"ALrite childs, lets go pik ote ur wnds/
2BCNTUED
Chapter 10
A;n' Alrite idiots. STOP GLAMIN MI STIRY!1111111111 Jus bcause I hate Nurthernurs and gaes and blak people doesn't meen u need 2 giv me aa herd time!1111 Go 2 HE:: YANKEES!1111111111 I write about SUTHERN ENGLAND! Northurn englan and Scotlad are STUPID!1111 Also, thanks to darrel for chekin da spelling. UR DA BEST! I can't wate for 2morrow. (Darrel nd I aare goin to the mall with sum frends)
Chaprer 10: JO BELLES WAND
we WeN 2 da wand shop. Der were all surts of wands der. I looked on da pervert roe. Der was a buch of stap on wands. Der was also *****************!111111111111111111
Den I went 2 daa SXY suTHern island, were der was a hole buch of wends. DEN I SAWED IT!1111111111111111111 IT was da most butiful wand in da entir world. IT WAS A PTCH4k WAND! So u can cast spells and stab peeples.
Den a man cam upp bhin us. " MWAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAh!"
I prUf
Esur OLEE, I wull b ur wands prufesur.
"Cull I said."
"I lik ur wand," he sed happly.
"ITS SXY," I sed.
HAree agreed with me. Prufessor Olee tuk us in da bak of da store."Noew we hav some fun!" Olee sed.
2 B CONTINUED!
Chapter 11
A/N UR SO STUPID! U don't hav a clu!111 Stop messing with me!1111111 NoRTherners ARE stupid!1111111111111111 SUTHERNERS are the smartr peeples in AMERCA. NORturnurs anywaer r all stupid.. Da suttern part of any CUNTRY IS THE BEST PURT!1111111 STOP Flaimyn me!11111111111111111111111111111 Ur just jelous bcuz im sutheern. UR ALL a bunch ov STUPOD LibrEL Nrutherners!111111111 U LUSE!11111 I rede all ur storees and dey STINK!11111111111111111111111111111 IF U DON'T LIK DIS… … … … … DEN DON'T REED IT! Gae people aare reel humens… JUST STUPIDSER!11111111111111 im NOT updatin til I ged 5 gud reviows!
Hpter 11: jO bekke nd HArre kill a bnch of RIDIKULOUSLY UGLEE STUPIS BlaK gAE NuthernnORs!1111111111111
Olee tuk us into da bak of his wand sjkull. He sowed us a bunch of gae Norturn blak peoples. They wer all tied up. "Nowe." olEE sad, "u hav 2… …. …. …. …. …. …. …. …. …. … … … … … … … … … kILL TESE RIKOLUSLY UGLY STUPID BLAK GAE NURTHERNURS!11111111111"
"K I sed."
I wne ovr 2 da ridikulusly ugly stupID bLAK gaye Nirthurnurs!11111111111111111111 "don hurt us jO bekle,' dey sed.
I laufed mecanicly. ""
I strtd poking them with mi pich4k wnd. DEY strtd screamin so I kiked der PRIVARTE PARTS!111111111111111111111111
thEY scremed in pane!11111 Prufesor OLLEE was chering me on.
DEN those RIDIkulously uGLee stupid bllAK gAE nothernurs… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … DIED!11111111111111111111111111111
2 B CONTINUD
I WANNT 5 GUFD REVIEWS OR IM NOT POSTIN DA NEXT XCHAPPPPIEE!
Chapter 12
An OK, I knoe I sad dat I wudnt updaat tilll I get 5 gud reviews but I got thus written. I H8 U! If ur repotin me den u sjuld go di!1111111111111111111111111 Ur probably just a librel idiot. Also tanks to Darryl for da checking!11 I CANT WAIT 4 2NITE. I cant w8 till we c our frends at da mall! UR da best of the best!
CHAptr 12: We go 2 Kngs Crussin.
Aftr I kild the stupid blak people, Hamlet cam up. "Prufessur Dumblundum wants u knowe."
"K: Jo BEKKE said iunfurtunatly.\
Hamlimt tuk us 2 prufesur dumblumdur. Dumbindor sd, "Did u get ur wanz?"
"Yeah, an then I killd sum gae blak peeples with it."
"Cull," dumbledore saif..
"it was fun.' Haree sed.
"I knoe I do that all the tim!" DUumvbledum said.
"THAt iz Awsum!" JO beLLE sed. Haply.
Dumbledure then sed, "Alrite children it's time to go 2 knGS cruSSin. Jo BELE tak us to kings crossin.."
I wavd mi pch4k wnd. It glowed and then all ov a suddn.. WE WERE IN KINGS CRUSSIn.
Haree nd I sawed a family. Dey sed, "ALL dese stupid gae Northurn muggls!1111 Cum on Donald."
"Hey! I! SED! R u goin 2 HUWERTS?"
"UVZ curse we r, dingles," mrs weasel sad.
"Bi da wae, mi nam is Donald." Da redhed boy sed.
"CULL" herry said.
"Lets go," donalkd sed.
DEN… … … … … … … … ….. WE rAN THRU DA WALL!1111111111111111111111
2 B CoNTuned
Chapter 13
A,n: STOP FLAMIN MI STURYE! U hava no rite 2 flame mi stury. I H8 U!1111111111111111111 Ur jus a bunch ov librel gaes! THankS 2 Darryl 4 checkin mi story. I LOVE YOU!11111111111111111 Darrel nd I r d8in now! We 3 ech othr!
Chaptre 13: Da hofwasrtz expres!11111111111
WE run thRU te wall. Don said, "We shuld go sit dowen," he sed unhappily.
Jo belle and HAree got onto da hUGwerts eXpres/. I luked around the rume. There was no1 iin 1. "Letz sit her," Donald sad.
"K,' I sadi.
We set down. Thn daa fat trullee lady cam long. "EAT FUDE ETE FUDE!11111111111 "
donald sed. "I ain't got no monee 2 by fude."
"dat's alrite. Ill bye it." I sed.
"OMG Ur jO beKKE puttr!11111 " da trolley lade said.
"i knoe,' I lufed vicouslee.
"her, u can hav freeee fude, cuz ur so pretty and u dfeeted da dark lard."
:cull I sed.
hAREE nd I got fude. We started tto ete and then someone barged in the room. IT WAZ… … … … … … … … … … … … . …. …. … ….. … .. .. . .. .. . ... . HERMONEE!
Chapter 14
AN: LUK HER DUMBELLS!1111111111111111111111 U SUK!1111111111111 STUP FLAMIN! UR JUS JELUS OF DARRYL AAND ME DATIN! I H8 U!11111111111111 GO2 WHO IZ TERA?/ I DON'T KNOE A TARA?
CHAPER 14 HAREMONY
HARMONY rans in. "Hiya guyes," se sed.
"Who ar u?" I asked keenly.
"ei em HARMONY!" HARMONY said.
"cull,' sed. Im… … … … … … …
"JO BELLE PUTTER!" HARMONY sed.
"yea!" jO bekkE sED;
HARMONY CHEERED. She had a jo bekke t shirt on. She wore jo BElKe earings, and JO bekle stamped pantz. She Also had a ho belle arm bracelet. She also had a JO belle ring on. And her finger nales had J-O-B-E-L on each hamd. "IM UR BIGGEST fan," HARMONY SAID.
"cull I,' sed.
"yeh, can I sit her?'" HARMONY said.
"Sur."
"NOW I hav 2 tell u somthin.. …. … … … … …
Chapter 15
aN Stup flaMIN MI STURY!1111111111111111111111111 Dayrryl is AmAZIN!111111111111111 I LVUU U DARRYL
CHAPTr 15 Da secret of HARMONY
So HARMONY told us she had a secrit 2 tll us. i got all exited. "WUT is it,' ei esked.
Then the hugwetrs epres got there. We got of.
den we saw hamlet and he was aall lik, "FIRST YEERS GET UR BUTS OVR HER!11111111111"
So we got oovr der. Hamlet den sed, "now evry1 get on a tracter."
we AKK got on tractors 2g2 hugwrts. The rid der waz relly cull. EXCEPT… … … … … … … … … … … …. .. .. .. HARMONY FELL OFF DA TRACTER!
2 B CONTNUDE\
Chapter 16
IF U FLAM UR REPURT UR OBVOUSLEE A STUPID BLLAAK GAE UGLEE LIBREL HO NORTUHURNER!11111111111 daRRYL thanks 4 da editin!11111111111111111111111
Chapty 16: Trever and Nevil
HARMONY fell off da tracter. I scremed anxiecially.
"!'''''''''''''' we SHouteD/
Den she got bak on dda tracter. "Im k,' se sed.
"BUT. .. … … … …. … …. … … .. … I FOUND DIS TODE NAMD NEVIL"
TRever sed, ":HES MI TODE!111"
HARMONY gav trever his tode.
Den HAmlET tuk us into da grate hall,. PRufESsur McDonald was der/ "HO, I AM PRUFESSUR McDONALD?" she saod/
Then he took us to the big door. She sed. "DIs iz Wer U WILL B SURTD!" he sed.
Chapter 17
AN If U FLAM ur obvuslee a DUFUS! BY THE WAY, I LUV U DARREL
CHAPTRe 17: DA SURTIN CERUMONEE
Prufesur mcDonold tuk us into the dining rume. "DIS WER U will b surtd,' MCGNALD" she sed sadly.
She tuK us INTO da rume. AT the end of da hall der waz a cowboy hat on a stull. IT luked relly cull. HARMONY sed, "OOOH I'm exited."
DEN Da surtin hat sang. "IM THE HAT! IM THE HST! EIM DA HAT! IM DA HAT! IM DA… … … … … … Hat!11111111111111111111111111111
Den it sand, Der ar 4 hoses wer u will go. STI NKy slithern iz 4 da luser NOURTHURNERS!1111111 AND BLAK GAE UGLLEE PEPPles. DATs da wurst hose,
DEN b nm DEN drs ravenclawed wer da clever suthernors go. Den ders hufflpuf wer da butiful suthernurs go/ DEN DERS GRIFFYNDER!111111111111111 DATS WER DA BUTIFUL, CLEVER nd BRAVE suthenurs go.
Den Prufessur mcdonald called mi nam. HE sed, "JO BELLE POTTR!"
jo bekke ran up to te stag. I put mi cowbuy hat on mi hed. "Oh," da sutin hat sad.
"UR jo BElke poter. Ur pretti, nd clever. UR also brav. UR NOT 1 OV DOSE STUPID GAE BLAK NURTHERNURS! so u shuld go in GRINFINDUR!"
Evrybodee chered 4 me cuz I luk relly cut. Den I sat down at greffendur. DEN Sum1 RAN IN DA rume! "LISEN UP DUFUSES!" IT WAZ… …. … … … … … … … … .. …. … … … … … … …. …. … . ….. SNALE!
Chapter 18
AN: Y r yall FLAMIN mi Struy? UR MEEN! Jus bcuz I hav views dosnt meen u kneed to b meen about it. BI DA WAY, I LUVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV U DAARRYL. I CANT W8 4 TONITE~``````````````````````````
Chapter 18 : DA KKK
Den da GREFfenfdurs wen up to da towr. DEr was dis old man der. HE luked relly old. He was kinda pal nd ei culd c rite thru him. IT WAS… … … … .NEERLY HEDLIS KNIK!
"HELLLO' jo bekle, "I AM NEERly HEdliss KNik!111111111111111111111111"
"CULL,;' I sed.
"Yes, no I must tell u a awsum secrit!111111111111111111"
2 B CUNTINUDE
Chapter 19
A/N UR SO STUPID U DUMMEEZ!111111111111111111111111111 IM A BEDDER WRITER DEN U. YALL R JUS JELUS HOMOSXAULES!111111111111111 UR STUPID UGLEE GAE BLAK MUZLIM MURMEN CATHLIK KRISHTEN GEEK ORTHYDOX DUFUS AND NURTHURN!111111111111111 I H8 U!1111111111111111111 u KNEED 2 go 2 da hospital 4 STUPId medicin!11111111111111 ur a bunch ov luzers!111111111111111 o tanks to darel 4 chekin dis.
Chaptre 19: Nerely Hedliss Kniks secrit,
Neerly Hedless knick sad dat he waz ourt of a SECRIT orginzaton. He sed it waaz calld da KKK. We dnt lik gaes, blaks, muzlims, mormens, Baptists, nurthernurs, cathliks, greke orthydoxes, canadeeins, azains, dufuses, and nurthurners.
"cull ised."
"It iz cull," he sed.
"du u wnt 2 join?"
"OF CURSE I DO!11111111111"
"Now we mst get ur outfit…." He sed trimupntaphy/
2 B CNTUED!11111111111111111111111
Chapter 20
AAN: STOP FLAMING U DUMBLEDORKS!111111111111111111111111 UR JUS STUPID MUZLIM NURTHURNURS.
Chaptr 20: I tlk 2 HARMONY and haree
HARMONY sed, so did u jone da kkk?"
"yeh, lol," I sed happly.
:cull" haree sed.
Trevur cam up, "HAV U Ceen mi tode?11"" he sed happlee.
"No u dumbledorf I havnt.'
'k,' he sed.
:hoe did he get into GREFFINDUR?" I asked.
"No clu,' haree sed.
HARMONY sed, "So wat shuld we do 2morowe?'
"We shuld go visit prufesur McDonald," she's lik da best suthern teacher evr!"
"Yeh, she is," HARMONY sed.
"Ok den c u 2morow," I sed, waving by to HAryr and HARMONY.
2 B CONTUNIED
Chapter 21
AN: DIS is a relly gud chaptr. IF U FLAM UR REPURT DEN UR AN NURTHURNUR!111111111111111111 Ur also a lusr hoo haz no life.
Chatey 21: Prufesur mcdonalds secrit
Dan ex dae we went 2 da prufessurs rume. "good.' He sed, 'nowe ive got a secrit 2 tell u."
"Wat iz it.' we asked eXitedlee.
"Im gunna showe u how to do ADAVENCED majik." He sed.
HARMONY screamed, "yah,''
I rolld mi eyes. Den prufessur mconld showed us how she did da advanced majik. "Dis iz relly culkl I sed.
DEN SOM1 CAM IN DA RUme! IT WAZ… … … … … …. … .. … …. PRUFESSUR OLLEE, nd HE WAZ HULDING A PORNKEY!1111111111111111
2 B CUNTINUED
Chapter 22
AN: U DUM IGNURAMUSES! U SUK! I hat u! STOp flamIN me. IM nut A TRULL!1111111 DO I liv undr a bridge? NO, den how ca trull? U dumbledorfs hav NO LIF!111111111111 IF U REPURT ME den ur a dum muzlim, wos probly a gae nurthernur 2! I H8 U! Btw tanks to0 darryl for da editin, Ur DA BEST BF EVR!1111111111111111111111 CHEK OTE HIZ STURY. ITZ ABOUT HAAREE GEDDING A NEW TRUK!11111111
Chaptr 22: Prufesur olees secrit purtkey
Olee was holdin the portkei. "Alrite now dat uve lerned dis VERY advancd majic. U need 2 go 2 dumbldums office. Uze this 2 get der."
We wen thru the purtkey. Prufesur Dumbledore was sittin in his easy chair. He rolld around and luked at us. "Nowe, nowe children. I hav sumthin 2 telly u."
"we luked at eech uther. "What is it?"
"Well, lisen her."
'I knede sumthin do/"
"wat iz it?" wee asked.
"Ok dufuses, dis isz wat it iz," dumbldor sturts/
We w8ed suspicusly.
Ten Dumbledore sed. "you must help me on a secrit progect!"
2 B CUNTINUDE!
Chapter 23
AN: STOP FLAMIN!1111111111111 I TINK UR ALL A BUNCH OF DUMBELLS!1111 U SUK!111111111111111111 IF U REPURT UR A MUZLIM BLAK PERSUN! oh nd tanks 2 darryl 4 chekin! Reed hiz stury!11 hes on mi favorites list.
Chaptr 23: da gient skwid
We all wundrd. What waz da secrit project? We wundrd all dae.
Den we wen out 2 da gr8 lake. It waz relly cool. We w8d ther 4 a wile.
Den donald ran ovr 2 de edg. He luked over nd then… … … … … …. … … THE GIENT SKWID GRABED HIM!1111111111111111
2 B CONTINUDE!
Chapter 24
A?N U GOT MI STURY TAKEN DOWEN!1111111 I H* U! sTUp FLAMINg mi STORY! LUSErs ur all blak and gae. Lso tanks 2 darel 4 chekin/ AT Leest he LUVS me. Reed hiz stury.
Haptr 24: Da stupid REPORTERS
Den a bunch of dum REPORTERS cam nd wer stupid. I beet tem up (DAARREL WILL BEET U UP IF U KEEP BEIN MEAAN 2 Me!)
I kiked der *******. Xden I lafed at da DUM BLAK GAE NURTHURN repurturs. Then I shut them wi? Mi pich4k wand. Dey fell ovr nd died,
Den aftr a day or 3 we decidd 2 hlp donald.
I divd in da water. I swimd in. I piked up donald and pulld him ote.
"JO BEKKE U SAVD ME!111111111111111" he shoted.
"I knoe."
DEN HE KISSD ME…. …. …. … … …. ….. …. … ….. …. … …
2BCONTINUDE!11111111111111111111111
Chapter 25
AN: so k, lusers/ Dis is MI story, I dint compee any1, u northurnurs obvusly dnot get dis. Il hav 2 tell u agin. Alrtie STOP FLAMAIING!1111111111
Chapter 25: Donled nd I
I kissed him bak, but im a bedder kissr anyway,
I was gthinkin about skoolwork and that I waz goin 2 hamlets after schull 2day. Im glad we get 2 go 2 Hamlets. Hopfully data idiot boy trever dosent try to come gwith us!11 he is sooooooo noying.
So I was kissin donald and den all of a suden!... … ….. ….. ….. …. …. …. ….. ….. ….. …. . … .. Hamlet caam up!111111111111
"Wat iz it?" I esked suspiculy.
"Kwirrel haz ben Found brakeing into da CHAmber oF secrets!111111111111111111111111
Chapter 26
An: STOP mflaminf!111111111 I ***** h8 u. ur a bunch of simple lusrs. Thanks to Darryl 4 checkin da story.'
Chaprte 26: da 3rd corridor,
"That's terrble I sed angrily.
'I knoe," Hamlet said.
"Wata shall we do" I askd.
"Evry1 importent is meetin by da 3rd corridor." Go ther
We wntr ther. HARMONY luked around suspicuslee. "waat is that 3 heded dog doin there?" she wondrd.
Den professor mcdonagol flew in on her raven brome (Dos any1 ls thin she loks lik a raven?_
"culm dowen every1"
WE REN DER. "HELP me ?" TreVOR screamed suspiciously.
THEN. …. ….. ….. … DUmbledure flew in!
"alrite every1 go bak to ther rumes!111111"
We went to our rooms, but Donald held me bak. "Wat is it?" I askd.
"Mi nam isn't rely donaald he said?"
"OMG, wat is it thn?" I asked, cautiously.
"Darryl!1111111111" he sed.
"Well idc wat ur nam is!1111111 I lov u anywae!"
"i lov u 2!" he sed, den he kissd me!
2 B CONTINUDE!1111111111111111111111111111
Chapter 27
AN: hey gufd NEWS!111111111 1 of mi friends is joinng ffn!1111111111 she a gr8 riter, and shes darryls sister. I cnt w8 till she posts her stories on her. Dey r realy good.
\
Chaapter 27: darryl
Wen I fuomd out that donalds nam is darryl I was plesently surpirsed. Den I go all exited when he kissd me.
The next day we had transformation. We all ent der. Profeesru McDonald was teaching his class. ALrite, "she said, "every1 needs 2 find ther cetes.
Wen found r cetes. Daonryld was sittin nex 2 me. HArmioney was sittin on mi othr sid. She was werin a jo belk t shirt 2dae.
"I luv ur tshirt," I say.
Then job el went bak to her work. Prufesur mcdoneld drond on nd on about turning pigs intyo desks. Bi da time the lesun was d1, me nd donald wer the only ones that had d1 it.
SO then prufesur mcdonuld sed, "alritee dumbdorfs u can go now. Draco do a bunch of homework bcuz I relly dnt lik u."
Darryl and I lafed.
THEN…. …. ….. …. …. … HAREE CAM UP!
" I hav a massage 4 u!111111111111111" he sed.
"WAT?/"
"we hav 2 go 2 dumvbledore noew!"
Chapter 28
AN: OK, lusers u obviousle dntt get this! Agin! Ok, u sae a trull is sum1 hoo writes bad. But do I rite bad? no. den how c troll? By da way I read mi immortal. It is stupid!111111111111 is abote a dum bi gurl with no lif? Shes proby a northurnur!111111111111 Y wuld I copee a stupid sturee lik dat? I wuldnt, dats y. O bi da way, thakns to darryl for chekin this stury.
Chapter 28:\
I wen 2 dumbldurs office. "Waat is it,' I easkd the old prufesur?
It turns ote ur reel parents rnt ded. Dey realy wer jus hidin frum voldemut.
Haree and I chered haply. "Im SOO XCITed 2 relly mete them," I sed.
Then we got da news, "We wuld c dem dis summer."
Then itt was tim 2 go bak 2 our klasses.
Dumbldore sent us off to bed.
On da
Wae
I saw
Donuld sittin in the cornr cryin.
Wat
Is
It," I asked.
"U rnt goin 2 b Able 2 cum ovr this summer."
"I lafed," don't wworrry about it," I can still cum"
We chered about it then Fredrick cam up 2 us,."Hey guyes I found aaway into da kitchen!"
2 B CONTINUDEQ!11111111111111111111111`
Chapter 29
AN: Ok, u obviously dnt undrstnd. DUMBVELDUR WAZ GAE!11111111 then, he dcided not 2 b aftr grindwald btrayed him. Then, in mi stury he dcides to muve down south, nd bcam a southerner. So STOP FLAIMNG! I AM wae better then u dumbledorfs..Oh and tanks to daarryl 4 checking da struy, and 2morrow SARA is postin a stury, wer all Xcited. Shes like, mi best frend.
CHAPTER (:
We all went hapily 2 the kitchens. We wne t nd then I gut all xciTEd bcuz darryl nd I wer holdin hands.
Fredrik took us to da kitchens. Wen we got to the panting of teh pare, Fredrik tikeld it, "Goochie goochie gu!1111111" je yelld/
The pare screemd in plezure. "Yah!1111111" it yelld.
Finely we got into da kitchens. Der wer all surts of gremlins der! "hEY, I thote u worked at gingnotes.!"
Wer not gremlins, daa thing sed, "WEr… …. …. ….. ….. …. ….. ….. … ….. ….. … …. . HOUS ELVS!\
"omg. I dint think yall existed anymore"
"We dint," lol, den we cam bak."
"Cull I sed."
"Yes… so job el, we hav a secrit 4 u!"
TOO B CUTNIUDE!
Chapter 30
:NA: OK, lisen up yall. STOP FLAOMING MI STORY! B\y the wae, my spellins gotten beter. Thaanks to darryl for checking da struy.
Chapter 30: Te Hose ELVES secrit.
"Wat is your secrit," I askd xCitedLY.
"ONE OF THE TEachers is
is gay!" te hosue elf shoted in agst.
"I cnt bleve it1 Which 1?"
"NOT DUMBLDRUR! He shoted.
"Da truth is, one sed," we cnt tell u cuz were pece lovin cretures hoo r frum new zeelend. We dnt want him 2 die."
"Gae fags!111111111" jo belle shouted and ran out.
2 B… CONTINUED!`1111111111111111
Chapter 31
Disclaimer: I AM NOT JO BEL. Other things I am not: Jo Belle, Jo Bekke, Jo Bek, Jo Belke, or any other derivative of the name. I am not the owner of Harry Potter.
Claimer: I am a troll, and I just hacked (Well, I say haacked. What I really did was guess her password). Her password is VERY easy to guess by the way.
A/N: The reason I did this: I was getting extremely ticked off (No way!) and I say that My Immortal had been hacked before. I thought that if someone could hack Tara Gilesbies' account, then surely someone could hack this one.
Now I don't really know what to do. Oh well, guess I'll go the My Immortal route.
Chapter 31: Waking Up
When I, Jo Beke Potter, woke up from my nap, I knew something was wrong. I was black, gay, northern, muslim, basically everything my sad little mind hated. So I jumped off Hogwarts. I died.
Chapter 32
Disclaimer: I AM NOT JO BEL, I don't own Harry Potter.
A/N: Oh dear, Jo Belk. Listen to this: I didn't change her password. So I log onto her account today, and she's replied to PMs, and put a new chapter in the doc manager. Get this: SHE DIDN'T CHANGE HER PASSWORD. She knew she'd been hacked, and she didn't bother changing her password. Come to think of it, she probably doesn't know how to. Anyway, I wasn't going to post her chapter, but somehow I found it (I'd forgotten how to get a doc from there so it was hard). It's probably her most hilarious one yet. Here it is.
An: LuKe her daaryl, u shuld edit this, its not mi fult I got pregnant!1111111111 U shuld hav used a comdon, ugh I hat u!111111111111 Darrel u ned 2 go 2 kell.
Chaptre 32 (Wow, I notice she counted my chapter…): jo bel ifinf hlp.
I wnt 2 dumbludroe 4 hlp. ;"DUMVBLDUMR DERS SUM1 gae at hugwrats! o and donald is gay 2 and he fell of a clif.
"o mi gush hoo is it?" dumdunelr aked susporciously.
"idk dda stupid new zlenders wuldnt tell em!
Dats terribl we shuld do sumthin}" dumblerudor sed Xitedlty
DEN SNALE RAN IN: "FLUFFY KELlEd HAMLET!
3 b cuntonied
A/N: God help us all if this is real.
Chapter 33
NA: GEss wat? ;ol it terns out im not relly pregnant. Lol . I jus thru up nd som1 told mew if that happns ur pregnant sso I bleived them. Anwyway darryl and I lafed abotue it. BI DA WAY!11 sum stupid person haked me so i… …. … … … .CHANGED MY PASSWORD! isnt that cool? SO DNT FLAME!11111111111111111 oh ny the way thanks 2 darrel 4 cheking!111111111111111111111111
Chapter 33:
We all ran 2 hamlet \. We all sawed him. "HAMLIT R U k?" Hemony asked.
"Im fine," he said, jokingle. I wasz just joking lol!111111111"
zWe aall lafed about it.
2 b cONTINued
Chapter 34
Ans: By the way if u flme I hat you! you think ur just so much beter then I am. Lusers!1111111111111
Chapaer 34: Me and donald talk about life.
So, jjo bn=ele" I hav to talk to u,'" darryl said
"WHAT is IT," I SCREAMED annoyed. I had just been readin a book about trakters and it aws really good.
"Im sory that I thote u were pregnant." He said, hastily.
THAT'S fin," I alredy told him.
Itt waznt your fult.'
"OK:" job el," donaald said.
"so wat do u want 2 do 2morrow?"
"I was thinking about goin to bass pro shop in hogsmead on the trip Saturday, what do u think?/"
""LETS DO IT!111111111111"
2 b continued!
Chapter 35
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter, I am not jO belke.
A/N: So I'm back! Poor jo bekle.
Dear jo bele,
Whenever you change a password, do not change the number from 1 to 2.
Love,
Your Hacker.
Chapter 36
An: ok peoples, STOP FLAmiNG!111111111111111111111111
ANd mr. haker: I changed mi PISSWORD AGIN!111111111111111 hahaha u'll nevr gess it!11111111 ur just a northurn luser with no lif!111111111
Capter 36: Bass pro shop
Darryl and I went to hogsmede on the day we wer suppods 2.
Then when we got ther, DUMBELDOR was ther!11111111111111111
"hi Dumbledore," I said.
"oh hi," he said hpapply."
]
" hav you ben wondering wat the secrit project is?"
"OMG yes, wat is it?" donald and I said,
"Well, he said' you are going to b mi spies on kwirrel and snalpe, those stupid northerners!1111111"
"Cull,"
"oh, and u know how I said ur parents were alive?"
"Yeh," we saiad,
"Well there comin 4 HALLOWEEN " Dumbledore said.
"cool, waat r u dressing up as" hary asjed,
"obama~" dumdledor said.
"WHAT?'" we scremed/
\
"yeah, im gonna petren blak nurthurn idiot, itll b funny cuz I can akt relly dumb"
"Yeh"
"Did u know obama waz a suthurnur?"" donald asks.
"Yeh,," dumbmbldroe said," then he painted his skin blak and became a nurthurnur."
"TRateor," job eke said.
"I knoew!" Dumbledore said suspicusly. N
Then we went 2 look thru bass pro shup. I got a fishing rod wand 2 go with mi pich4k wand.
":Nice chicoe," darryl said, "I got aa new tractor," je said.
"cool, I sed.
Then we went in2 the rosies café.
We wen in and rosie sadi.
"Hi dis is the best suthurn café in the world!11111 wer would u lijke 2 sit?"
"Not with any nurthurners that's for sure!" we sdai happily.
"Don't worry we don't let northurn skum in here/
"O good," darryl said.
"Yeperoom,' so,' she said. "Wat wuld tou like?"
"we both want fried chiken," I sed. "With sum biskits.".
"ok, lol," she sasid, and let.
THEN…. … … … …. . . .. . .. …. …. …. .. … … .. .. . . ….. .. . .. ….. …. … …
HAMLET WALKED UP
2 b continued!
Chapter 37
AN:STOP FLAMING! Y won't yiu stop?/
Chapter 37: HAmelt keeps gollowing us!11111111
"ahmlet are you stalking us agin?"
:Yes," he admitted.
"Well, mr, hamgrid, STOP IT!11111111111111111111" its getting annoying anf I don't like it!" jo belle said unfortunaltey
Hahgret started crying, "Why do you hav 2 b so mean 2 me?"
"Didm't Dumbledore already tell you?" daryl asked. "You skottish people are like our pets. :Your kind of silly."
HAgret ran away crying.
"Stupid skottish personm" I sid.
THEN… ….. TREVER CAME UP!
TWO BEEEEEE CONTINUUUUUED!1111111111111111111!1
~!#$%^&I&*Y^%&#&%$TU^%HJV BJDUBDOUHOISIFOSNx
cnIopfjlkdjfilsk foinsklncjndsjbcjnm njjj bss
Chapter 38
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I AM NOT jo delke.
A/N: Greetings, once again. I really thought I was blocked out for good. I tried for an hour to guess her password (not much life here), and finally I decided enough. I tried one more time, and got it! Poor jo bekle. I felt kind of sorry for her. Then I saw something about someone committing suicide when they read this! I don't know if it's true, but if it is, that's pretty sad! Anyway…
Dear jo bekel,
I hate you, It doesn't matter if I'm gay, black, or Northern!
I hate you,
Your Hacker
Chapter 39
A/M: Ugh. StOP FLAINIMG!11111 honesley, if somon dide then its ther OWN FAULT!111111111111111 I relly don't car. You need to stop bein meen 2 ME!1111111 Ugh, bi da wae thanks 2 darel 4 eidiiting the story
Chaptr; Wich chapter are we on? I tink its number 39. but if you count that stupid HAKER, that dum one!1111111 then it mite be numbr 39.
"trever, what the hek are you doing with us?"
"I don't know he sad," aand ran away!11111111
"Ugh,' hes annoying. I says.
" I knoe," darry said.
We continued to eet our fude. donald and i startd talking. We talkd aabout all sorts of stuff. It was very cull. Then some blak lady cam up… she was RELLY fat!11111111
IT WAS… … …. …. … … … … … … … … … … …. …. …. … … … … …. …. … … …. …. … ….. …. … …. .. . . .. . … … … …. … … …. … .. … … … … … … … … …. … …. … … … … … … . ….. …. …. … . .. . ….. …. … ….. …. …
OPRA WHIMPFREE
Chapter 40
An: UGH!111111111111111111111111 STUP FLAMIN AND HAKIN MI STORY!1111111111111111111111 its MI stury. Not your, you hav no rite to hak it!
Chaotyr 40 ( I think it numbr 40 at leest)
"Wat are you dong here opra?' darrl asked,
"bein a fat blak nurthurner!111111111111111" she screemed.
Then the poppys arrested her for bein blak. "GO BAK WER U CAM FRUM!111111111111111" we said.
Then the whole restrunt cheered 4 us.
"YAH jo bekle you're the best!" they cheered.
Then harry came up,
JO BELKE SNale and kwirrel hav been found being northhernurs, we need your help!
"We ran 2 hogwarts!1111111"
Snale and kwirrel were sitting, all chained up. Dumbeldore was wipping them up. "Nowe, he said, (I shall bake you in2 a cake!,_+++==
"O no,"' they cried.
Then we thru roks at them. "Yur so dum!111111111111111111" we yelled.
they all CRide susPICuslY. "Stop bein meen 2 us!111111111111111111111111111" they yelled.
Then we took them 2 the tortur chamber.
"!" they screemed,
then…. WE PUT THEM ON THE RAK!
They got all stretched out and thin..
"HAHHAAHAHAHAHHA,' stupid nortuhrners, we yelled,
THEN… … … … … .. .HEMUIone came up….
.
.
…..
….
…..
…
….
"JO BELE WE NEED YOUR HELP DECERATIN 4 HALLOWEEN!'
2 b continued.
Chapter 41
STOP FLAMING! i gat you! If somon dide its ther own fault!11111111111 I DON'T CAR!1111111111111111 nobody cares is that dumb person dide!1111111111111111
CHAPter 41: Dekeorations
I showed them the rite way to fix up the dekeratins. 'LUKe her dumbledorfs, this is ho u do it!''''''''' I shoted ata them.
Then sumbody ran up!
IT WAS….
OPRA! SHE HAD ESCAPED FRUM PRIZIN!
Chapter 42
AN: stop flaming pleaz. If anyon else dose a commentary on mi story…. ILL B VERY MAD!11111111111 Stop reporting flamin hakin and doin commentatin on mi story
Chpater $: MICHel DUGAr
(o bi the waay, thanks to saara 4 letting me uze her character of michel duggar and her 28 kids!111111
\
Opra u stupid fat nurthurnur what r u doin here?"
"OPRA LAFED RIDIKOLOUSLY "omgtisa!
"Go away dumbeldorf."
Opra ran aways crieng sadky,
THEN…. … … … MIChlel dugAR AB\ND her 19 kids showed up!11111111111111111111111111111
2 b cONRTINUED
Chapter 43
NA: STOP FLAMIN!111111111111111 Also, Stop doin the commentaries!11111111111111111111111111111 I H8 U`
43: Secrits
"omg ur that lady that hs 2-9 KIDS!111111111111"
"Yep lol,/' michelle duggar says jokingly/ n
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.'/ tats hillareeous.
"I no, lol!111111111"
"So wat r we doing todae?"
'well Im going to teech u about SEX EDUCATION!"
LoplololololoLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
Then Dumbledore cam up, "I wnt 2 lern 2 !111111111111"
'thers rume 4 evry1" she says lfing/
Den her 12 kids sat dowen 2 lern!11111111111111111111111111111
SUDDNLEE: SOME DINGLE CAM UP 2 US!1111111111111111111
TQWO BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CONTINEUED!
Chapter 44
AN: STUP FLAAMING AAND DOIN COMMENTAREES!1111111111111 if u flam then GO HLL!
Chapter 44
IT WAS…
ELEN DEGENERIS!
"OMW your that gay lady!11111111111'
"yep that's me," she said.
GO AWAY FREEK!11111111111111111' I SCREEMED.
sHE RAN AWAY CRIEN.
thEN MICHELE DUGGAR SAD, "NOWE WE CAN STURT THE LESON."
"wait!"
it WAS…..
DUNBLECORES TWIN BRUTHER ABWEDORTH!
2 B CONTIINUES
Chapter 45
ASTOPL FKANING!
i am NOT TERA Gikespie!11111111111111111111111 she a dum NURTHURNER, whos bi!1111111111111111 shes also relly DUM!
Chapter 45
"
WAT R U doin here?" dumvbledore aksed.
:IM SORRY PRUFESUR!11111111111111" he screemed with angst!1111111111111111111111111111
"dats ok, I knoe ur gae,' Dumbledore said.
Abwerforyh cried and runs away. Then dumvkerore saith, "I thinkith that though shuld continue with da lessun Michele dugur!''
'ok she says sadluy. "Wats wrong?/" we all sked happily.
"iM pregnant"
"YA!1111111111111"
""\I knoew I was jus pretending 2 b sad."
"ur relly smart," I sed.
"I knoe she said.' "dats because we homskull!111111111"
"cull I sed.
THEN…. WE STARTED LERNING!
2 B CONTINUDE!
Chapter 46
Na: STOP FLAMIN!1111111111111 idont car about non of u!111111111 I hop U commit sucide 2! Bi da wwae tanks to darrel 4 checkinG!1111111111111 I love YoU!1111111
Chapter 46: DA BEST 1 yet
We keprt learning. :"OK dis is ho you do this" Michel dugar says; Showin us how/
It waz relly fun. Then I luked across thee table!111111111
IT WAZ?
Drako MAfLOY!
"Omg u northurn gae wat r U doin here.
"I DECIDED TO BCUM A SURTHURNER!11111111111: HE YEllllled
"YA!111111111111111" al da sXXy southerners yeled.
:IM movin 2 grefindor!1"
"OMG DAts amzin!"
"Yes I knoe," he sadi.
"Sothernors are relly cool rnt thwey?" I said..
"YES THEY R!111111111111111111" Draco yelled.
"Ur relly cool now that ur suthern!11111111" I saiad.
"O thanks you!111" he said juicily.
:YUR WELCUM!11111111111111"
"Bi thee way im changing mi name to jim bob!11111111111"
"OMG dats mi husbands nam!11111111" michel duggar said happly!11111111
LOLOL
Then jim bob ssaid. "I THINK UR RELLY PRETTEE!"
"O THNK U!111111111" I said.
Then donald cam up, "WAT DO U THINK UR DOIN MR PEE BRAIN!11111111111111111111111111111
"IM FLIRTin with ho belle, lol"
"SHES MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII GF!11111111111"
Then \darryl and jim bob strted fitein over me!111111111
THEN HARRY came up, "jo belke ur RELLY Prettee!1111111111111"
"WAT DA HEK?"
I runs out of the rume Donald drako and harry wer following me! They wer singin mi favorite tayler swit songs and had ROSES!111111111111111111111111
I wnt to MCDONALD
"prufeser mcgonald evry body LUVS me!1111111111111"
Then prufesur mcdonald said, "DATs ok jo bekel?
Thanks 4 gelpin me.
:UR welcum!111111
Tehn I ran 2 the rume of recwiremnt. DOBBY WAZ THER,…. AND HE WAZ….
DOIN IT WITH KREECHER!
I pulled out mi pich4k wnd and started poking them!1111111111111111111111
STUPID NEW ZEELENDERS!11111111 I screemed.
They run awaycrying, then I ate som biskits with fried chiken \\\
\
I luv the rume of rekwirement!
Suddenly all mi boyfrieds wer in the rume. THEY were all NAKED!11111111111111111
We lLUV U THEY CRIDE
TOOO BEEEEEEEEE
Chapter 47
AN: GO DI! I HOPE U DIE LIK DAAT sTUPid PERSUN HOO COMITTED SUIDICE!1111111111111111111111 IF U LIKE DIS STORY LIK A REEL SUTHURNER den I LOVE u!111111111 Thnks 4 the GOOD Reviows and NOT the flames!11111 bi the wae I H8 MI IMORTEL!1111111111 DAT STUPID NURTHURNUR is not mE!11111111111 Im a bedder writer then all of u!111111111111111111 NOW PLEEze revwei NOT flam. if ur a a aa flamer flamer then then then then then then then then you're a northur. Ur probly gae and blak 2!1111111 Alrite now this cjapter I reakky good.
BI THE WAE THANK U DARyl!111111111111111111 UR DA BEST EDIDOR EVER!111111111111111 AND THE BEST BF EVA!111111
DCHAPTER 47
"y R All of you stalkin me?/" I screamed.
"BECAUSE WE LOV U!1111111" darryl jim bob and harry said.
:DATS KREEPY eVn THOUGH I LUV ALL OF U!11111111111
J
D
We
Love
YOU 2 JO BELLE!11
1
Theb they stated kreeping up 2 me, AND KISING MI FETE!1111111111
"WAT DA HEK?
|\
E
WE LOVE YOU!111111111
THEN" DUMBLDUMER FLU iN ON HIS BRUME!11111111111111111111
He knocked up all mi stalkers!11111111111111111111 he didn't hurt them 2 hard because there Surthurnurnurs and because I still kind ov lov them, Anyway Dumbledore thru them out of them rume.
Then kreeccher and ddoby cam up to us! :Wer gonna be suthurnures now because we H8 gae people"
"dats very smart,' dumbeldrie said,
"We knoe, now wer gonna tell u hoos gae at huwgorts!1111111111"
"OMG,"Dumbledore says!
then they ran off!111111
Then dumbeldore said2 jo beke, "NOW U MUST GO SPI ON KWIREL AND SNOPE!1111111111111111
I ran off to find them! They wer in the kitchen…. BEIN GAE!
OMG!1111111111" i yelled!11111111111111
They looked up from ther duck!1111111111
"wat r U doin here jo bekle?/" they asked.
"DIs is da gae nurthurnurs place now!111111111111"
"O MI!11111111" I saod.
Tjen pansy spankinso sadi "omg r u lesbieen?"
"! GO 2 HWELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!11111111111111111111111111"
I started shooting pich4ks at them
They screemed in pane!1111111111
"WE cnt help bein gae!11111111" they yeld!1111111111
"GET OVER IT!1111111111111111111111111111 I shoted at them!111111111111111 U got a choice!111111111111111111 u cann still b sXy ssuthruoners!1111111111111111111111111
Tey cride "WE WNT 2 GO 2 HELL Cuz WER stUPId!11111111111111111111111
"" I lafed visibly!1111111111111111111
They ran aarounf in curcels cuz dats wat stupid LIBREL NURTHURNERSN DO!
Then I wnt off 2 eet food!111111111111
Darel was ther!
"WAT DA HEK?"
"IM surry I waz stalkin u naked jo belke but ur so pretee I cnt help it!1111111111111111111111111
"dats ok I sadi!111111"
"So witch 1 of us did u chose?
I CNT TELL U YET!11111111111111111
Then jjim bob came up "JO BELLE I LOVE YOU!"
I was so socked I dint know wat 2 sae!11111111111
"I knoe," I said.
Then hary ran up 2, "WHICH 1 OF US DID U CHOSE?/" They sad anxeicly!11111111111111111
"ILL TELL U in 3 DAES!11111111111111111"
HEN HERMONIE RUNS In," JO bel we need you 2 dekerate agin, dat stupid boy trever ruined EVERYTHIN!"
"O noe dats terrible!"
"I know hermionse said disproportionitly.
I ran 2 help tehm!1111111
Trever was der acting all stupid. THEN THEY TULD ME!
Trever is rlly just a DUM LIBREL!1111111 he snuk into greffindor with help frum his satanic granny!111111111111111111
I beet him up mailicously!1111111111111111
Then I shode every1 ho to mak a skelyton!11111111
Sdnly…
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….
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DRAKO DON AND HARRY WER STALKIN ME AGIN! 11111111111111111 11111111111111111111111
TWOO BE CONUINUTED!
Chapter 48
AN: STOP FLAIMING!1111111111111111 GO !11111111111111111111111111
IDC wat u think bout me, jus stop flaming!11111111111111 ur jus a gae nurthurer.
Nd stop telling me its mi fult dat guy comitned suicide!1111 dats his fault!111 and he waz probly a gae nurthuner so he DEZERVED TO DI!11111111111111111111111
I h8 u dum gae blak DUMBLEDORK northerners!11111111111111111111111
Bi da wae thanks to darryl 4 chekin mi awsum story!1111 I LUUUUUUUUV U!11111111111111111111 u gues r jus jelus!111111111
Ur probly fat like tat ladey frum DANC MUMS!11111111 I h8 dat show.
Anywaye heres chapter 48 WOOHOO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~!#$%^&*()_+{}|":L?LKJHGFDFGHJHT
DA SEKRIT OF DUMBEDLORE!11111111
We ran through the hal supicouslee
Then I wulked thru the valee 2 the stor.
I saw JIM BOB STIL STAALKIN ME!1111111111111111111111111
"Jim bubba how manee times do I gotta tell u, ill tell u hoo I lov 2morrow!1111
Then I wnt 2 the haloween feest
Dumbeldoe cam up 2 me.
"WAT DA HEK!" he Xclamed
I knoe rite, I cnt bleeve sum dum NEW YURKER YANKEES got iinnvitded.
Th
En
We
Had
Dunner.
HTen I asked Dumbledore wher ihis cosutm waz/ HEs says, "!"
Then hje runs out of the rumwe contipated.
I YELLLED "Wat whoo has dun this terrible crime."
THEN?... ..
…
….
….
….
…
…..
….
DUBMLERODORE CAM In dressed as OBAMA!
"IM A Dum northerner he says vicously…
Wee all lafed hapily….. THEN DUMBBLEODRE SAYS "I got A SUPRIZE 4 THE SUTHURNERS!"
THEN…
TAAYLER SWIT CAM IN !
She bgan 2 sing mi favorite sung!11111111111111111
She sanf about astupid gae people 2!11111111"
Then mi Dumbledore says, "bi the wae yur parents cnt cum because they dide agin!11111111111111"
"O NO!111111111111" I said.
Then hary tride to contort me. "BUT HE KISSED ME!1111111111111"
"O MI GOSH I LIKE TULD U ID TELL U IN tomorrow!11111111111
THEN…
JIM BOB AND DAAAREL CAM UP!1111111111111111
2 b continued…
D
Chapter 49
An: Her we gos another chaptr!11111111 sara mite be editin mi sturee 2!11111111 But she cant rite now cuz shes gotta catch up on skull because she wnt on vacation. Daryl doesn't rely car though so he edidid it 4 me!
STOP FLAMIN U FLOOZY BIMBOS!111111111111111111
Im nut a trull? U saud trull are peoples who rite badly! I RITE GOOD!1111111111
Ok hers chaptere 49
"OMG stop following me u stupid jim bob"
"BUT I LOVE YOU!111111111111"
"well dats nice I klove you 2"
Then we wnt 2 the Hogwrts gift shop!1111111111111
"WOOHOO," harmionee said, ridin the lttile trakter toy outside the shope!
THENprufesur mcgandal swope dowen on her raven brome!11111111111111111111111
"WAT DA HEK?" I said.
:NO plaein on da trakters!111"
Then we wnt 2 the git shop!1111} der was relly cool merchindice ther.
I bought howgerts snow globe, and hemrin one bout another jo belle t chirt, she also bought a a jo bekle snow glob!11111111111111
S
F
Then we wnt bak to the Halloween feest.
Prufesosr mchgongal was dressed up as a raven"
Then I dcided to spi on kwirrel and snaper!11111
I followed them down to the bacement and they…
…..
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…
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…
….
LET A TRULL IN!
We runs bak to tell dimbledor!111111111111
HE waz still dressed up as obama!1111111
we tuld him all about the trulls,' I sed "ILL FITE DA TRULL"
"YOUR OUR ONLEE HOP JO BELKE! DImbledore cired!111111111
I ran to kwirrel and snap andbeet them up with mi pich4k wnd!11111111111111111111
They screamed.
Then I runs dowen the hall to fite a trull, I bete it up and IT WAS NORTHURN!11111
"IM DA EVIL SMELLI TRULL" it saod.
"Ugh stupid northerners" o soad
Then I rna thoru da hallways, "THEN DUMBLDEORE SAID…
"JO BEKKE HAS SAVED US ALL!1111111111 GO JO BELKE GO JO BELLE!"
Very1 started cheerin 4 me, because im so SXY!1111111111111111111111111
then I ran to jim bob, harry, and darel, "I WILL CHOOSE NOW!
Chapter 50
AN: STOP FLAming!1111111 HOE IS IT MI FULT DAT PERSUN DIDE? Its not mi fult!111111111 nd I dnt car anEway! Ugh!1111 sara waz gonna edit but then she had 2 fo 2 the dokter, so darrul edited it 4 me!111111 Iznt dat cull?
Nd how can u tink im a trull? MI RITEN IS GOOD!111111111
And u said ur mum works 4 the govurment is after me…. .. . …. Well I dnt care nd I DON'T believe u. daa government isnt scaree!11111111 ur nut comin after me!11111
Nd I herd that sum wikken waz gonna tri nd use dark majik to hurt me….. WELL IM NUT AFRADE OF U!1111111 ur majik cnt hurt me!1111
A
Dp
D
D
Dd
D
D
D
D
D
D
Dd
Soreee bout tat i waz doin sumthin.
Anywya cja[ter 50!
YAH!111111111111111111111111 Im halfway 2 1000000000000!11111111111111111111111
Dis is a very SPECAL CHAPter
IM ALMOS HALAFWAY DONE WITH BOOK 1
Bout 50 mor chapters then we can go to THE CHAMBER OF SEKRITS!11111111111111111
CHAPTER
I CHOSE MI BOYFREND
"SO HOO ARE U GONNA CHOOSE?/" dey asked.
"WELL THIS IS A HARD ON to deicide…..
Theyallwaited patently. I wnt 2 get some food wile they w8ed.
I 8 Some PERLO!111111111111
I also has some biskets!11111111
F
S
S
Then I wnt bak 2 wer they wer w8in BUT….
DUMBLEDORE FLU UP!11111111 "JO BEKKE, ur boy frends hav been kidnapped bi kwirrel!11 hes trine to rape them!11111111111111111
"!1" I yelled.
I ran to kwirrels rume were he has tide up all mi b oy frends,
"U STUPID GAE FLOOZY!111111" I said buetifully!1111111111111111111
i raan towards him w/ mi pitch4k wanf!1111111
I stabbeed him over and ovr!111111111111
"IM SORRRRY!1111111111" HE yelled
I dnt car….. U TRIDE to rap mi boy frends
"BUT IM GAE!11111111111"
Y?
Then we wnt 2 the choosing roome, wher I waz going to choose witch boy frend I wnted!1111111
BUT….
TREVER WAZ THEr… with his satanic granny
"OH "
:" his satanic granny walked towards me…..
"I am trevers granny, and I will force you 2 marry hiM!111"
I shot all mi spels at her.
She ran awawy/
then we all sat downe and 8 lunch wile I thouth about mi boy frend
Then wile we wer eeting ice creem I anoncced/…..
"I CHHOOOOOOOSE….
…
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…
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…
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Com bak 2 c wat happens!111111111111111111111111
Chapter 51
STOp FLAMNIG
By the way darryl, thank you for editin!11 saras relly busy rite now so cant update or edit, and darryls bin helping me on the plot so theis is going 2 get RELLY interesting sone,
HOW IS IT MI FULT DAT person died? Its nOT!11111111 they wer stupid and klled themslevs.
Ur mom works for the department of energfy? Tats not scary! She cant hurt me!11
Xcuapterr 51
"THIS is a relly hard decision " I said.
'that ok tak your tim," we sad suspiciously
_jt took a wule but I culdnt Dcide BCUZ… HAGRET CAM UP!111
"I LOVE YOU!1111111111111111111" HE yelled
"O grate now im gonna hav to choose another perSUN to."
They all strated wateing.
I needd help choosin so I ran to hrmione. "HERMIONE I NEDE YUR HELP!111111111"
'OMFGTISA!111"
"YEH I knoe I need your help!'
"so wat is it?"
"I HAV A BUNCH of boys hoo like me but I cnt dcide whisch 1 2 chose.
"OMK that's terrble!1111"
"We had to b very carful because suthurn boys nno how to stalk relly do"
"then Hermione tride to tell me wat
BUT….
THE DOORE FLU OPEn!111111 2 men walked in!
They looked relly important. IT WAz…
DUMBLEDOR AND THE MINSTER OF MAJIK!11111111
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AND THEY WER CAARRYEN A PAKAGE!1111111111111111111
TWO BE CONTINRUDE!
Chapter 52
A?ZN: 4 goodnse sak!11111 the dpartmnt of nergy cnt hurt me!111111
ITS NOT MI fult dat persin dide!111 its ther own FULT!1111111
O nd bi da wae darrel and I are cowritin a Lord of da rings stury! Its gona be bout Frodo and Gandalf!11111111
MI little bruther, hoos lik a yeer yunger then me mite be joinin!11111111 I tink he LOVS sara, lol. Hes not as good at riten as I am, but hes relly cool!1111111
SO tanks to darrel 4 editin, yur mi favorite bf!111111111
CHaptr 52: THE mesterius pakage!11
So haarglet walke with dumbledor and da minister of majik!1111
I fullowed them thru the skoool to te 3rd flor corridor!1111111
They hid the pakag in a SECRIT rume!1111
I w8ed till they left TEN I SAW IT….
KWIRREL WAZ TRIEN 2 BRAKE IN!1111111111111111
"LUKE her mr funkee turbin, wat do u think ur doin?/"
"O nothing," he sadi supisously!11111111111111
"LIER LIER PNTS ON FIR U DUMMEE!11111111111"
"DNT HURT ME!11111111111111111111111111"
"Y not ur stupid nd gae!11111111"
"BECUS….
IM A TEECHER
"I dnt car u GAY HIPPY!11111111"
"OMG!111111' HE CRIDE
kWIRREl tride to RaPE ME!1111111111
"Then haglet cames up!111111"
He beet up kwirrlel
"OMG U SAVED ME!111111111"
"I knoe,' he said sXily!11111111111
Then DArrl cam up!1111111111111
" STUPB FLIRTIN w/ mi GF!
BUI anywaays we walked down da hallway IB then the minister B cam up, "OMG wat da hek r u doin her."
"NONE OF UR BUISNESS BLONDIE!111111111111111"
Omgf
THeis is terrble." Jim bob said..
"HOWD U get here?"
"I walkd lol!11111"
lOOLOLOLOLLLOL
then I ran to mi rume and put sum of mi bfs names in a hat, ten I piked 1!11 It was….
…..
…..
…..
.
….
.
….
…
….
DARULD!1111111111111111\
TWOOOOOOOO BEEEEEEEEEEE CPONTIBUDE!11111111111111111
Chapter 53
AN: IM Glad ur all likin mi stury!111 Tanks 2 darrel 4 editin!1111111 I LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUV U!
Chaoter 53: WOOHOOOOOOO!111111111111111111
Suddnyll jimbob hamlet and haree straerd Crien!11111111111111
"its akrite I still luv u guys 2, darrels jus gunna b my bf for now!11"
"ok dey said"
THEN…..
DARREL ND I WNT TO…
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BASS PRO SHOP ON A DATE!
We luked all arund the stor and held hnds. THEN..
Dumbledumer cam up!111111111111111111
"joo bekkle I kneed ur help!1111111:
"OMGTHDKSM!1111111111" WHAT!"
"U hav 2 go thro the nurthuenurs ote of da kichens, wer all geddin hungree!1!111
"!" I said.
I ran akl the wae to the kichens and tikled the pare!11 "OOOOOOOOOOOH OOOOH! O mi gosh!111111111" da pare said.
I ran in and beet up all da gae people!1111111111:
Then the hose elcse sed….
…
…
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..
.
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WE HAV ALL BCUM suthurnurs!11111111111111111
"!1111111111111111111111111"
Tehn we ran in and had a celebratin!1111
All the teachers we hulu dancin!11111111 (DATS BECUZ ITS FRUM HAWAI!1111 and haiwa r suthruners!111111111
THEN HAGRID BROT IN KRISMISS TREES!
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NUUUUUUUUUUUUU
EDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Chapter 54
AN: Tanks to sara 4 editing 4 me! By the waay my bruther bubba is going 2 b joining!
STOP FLAMING yu gay losrs!
Anyway chapter 54: Decerating 4 Christmis
"OHMYGOSH!11111" I said happily.
"hagrid looked at us supicously. WHAT R YALL DOING IN HERE!" HE yelled maliciously.
Jo belle said, "were just looking around ignore us:"
Darrel said, "WHER R THE SANTAS?/"
"dnt worry, I got them,' dumbeldore says.
OMGTU, santa looks just like Dumbledore, he evn has the same overalls!
I know youre thinking im stupid, but santa relly dose look like dumbeldroe.
"OMG Dumbledore you look jus like satan!11111
"I knoe that's b ecause i…..
…..
…
I AM SANTA 4 DA WIZZERDIN WURLD, but dnt tell any1!
"DON'T WORRY," I wont!"
JO belke darryl jim bob, harry, hagrid and I wnt to our rooms.
THEN…..
We ran bak to the gr8 hall.
All the satnas were like pantings, because they wer talking and moving around.
BUT.. I sawed some gay people…
"STUPID RANEBOWS!1111111111" I shooted miserably!
"TEHN I tortured them mercilessly, and DUMbledore helped us!"
Suddenly aabunch of blak people cam up, so we killed them…
THEN HAGRID SAID….
"IM GOIN 2 CHEK ON SUMTHIN BUT ITS NOT the socerers ston!
We decided to ffolow hiM!1111111
Tow be bontibbude!111111
Chapter 55
A/N: I LOV UYOU DARRYL! HAPPY VALENTINS DAY EVRY1!
MI uncle and ant(WHO are darryl and saras parents) r comin to live with us because they live in the hose next door (Mi dad uncle work the same farm) and 1 of thee pips brok!
Anyway thanks to sara AND daryl for editing! The grannar is relly good in this chapter!
Chapter 55:hamlets (DAts hagrids SKOTTISH NAME, hagrid is his Southern name )
we followed hamlet down the hall.
HE WENT TO…
THE THIRD CORRIDOR!
HE was giving fluffy (You no, that 3 heded dog)
Som dog food. "YOU'RE A GOOOOOOOD puppy," hamlet said, petting fluffy all over, "Good, girl!"
WE Runs over 2 him, "hamlet what the heck do yu think your doin?"
"OH, nothing" he says. "IM NOT FEEDIN FLUFFY,'
ANYWAY WE RAN DOWN THE HALL, IT WAS ALL DECORATED FOR KRISTMASS, AT FURS I THUGHT DUMBLEDOR WAS EVERYWER BUT IT WAS REALLY…
SATAN!
"HEY WATS DUMBLDOR DOIN ON THE WALLS,' DARRYL SAID.
OH SORRY I HAVE CAPLOKS ON!1111 LOL
"DNt worry about it,' I tuld him.
I new I haf to keep the secrit that duumbledore is satan 4 the wizzerding world!
"K." he sdaid.
WARNNG EXPLICIT VILENC FOLOWS: BWAR
THEn…
An evil guy in a cloke came up, "jo bell I am a dum nborthernor her to RAP AND KILL Yu!
"O no," I sad/
But I relized it waz qureel!
"OMg," I thote u wer gay"
"NO… I AM BI GENDER!11"
"OMELG!"
"AND no…." he sais darmaticly…
"WE shall RAPE U!111111111"
I kiked his private parts, he fel over screaamin, "BLUDY MARRY!"
"then I TOOK his teeth out nd I used his teet to bite his…
…..
.
…
.
…
TOSE!
Then darryl (I LOV YOU!) and I wnt to the grate hall,"
"OMG," donuld said….
DUMBLEDORE WAS DEELIN WITH SUM VISITORS!
IT WAS….
ABY MILLER AND THOSE STUPID NORTHERN DANCE MOMS!111111111111111111111111111
2 B CNTNUD
Chapter 56
AN: Look here loosers! STOP FLAIMNG! I HAT YOU! BY the way thanks to sara for editing! BI THE WAY I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU DARRYL!"
Chapter 56: THE evil plan of the danc moms
"OMGWE! What are the NURTHURN danc mom doing here santa I mean dumbleldore! I said quikly so I didn't reveal dumbbldeores secrit identity!
"WAT," darrel said suspiciously.
"Im santa 4 the wizarding world, bUT DNT TELL ANY1" dumblesanta said!\
"Don't worry I wont"
"AND NOW," Dumbledore says.
"WERE DOING AA SPECIAL PROJECT!"
"OMG what is it,' we all said.
"Were doin a DANC COMPETITION! and weve got aby lee miler and the danc moms to teach us!"
After a while I aksed Dumbledore a question, "Y did you get DUM northerners to teech us?"
+"Because' hje said dramaticly, "I knoe theyree up 2 something and I want yOU AND DOONALD TO SPI ON THEM!11111111111111" he sahooted/
TO BE CONTINUES
Chapter 57
AN: I dnt car if that dumee committed suicide!1! Stop messin w/ me about it.
Bi the way thanks 2 sara 4 editing!
i
Bein with your cuzin isn't incest luser!
My brother bubba is joining RELLY soon!
Chapter 57: we spi on a bnch of peoples!
We went to spi on quirel and Snaple. THEY WERE…
Drawin mustachses on santa!111111111111
'"hey luzers STOP MESSIN WITH DUMBLEDORE- I meen santaa."
'they looked at me all seuspicously. Then they started tellin us, "wer doin this BECAAUSE WERE GAY!"
"!" i said.
"gerge Washington!"
Then jo belle darryl and we went to the gift shop. HEMRIONEE WAAAS RIDIN ON DA TRACTERS AGIN!"
"how dar you, u adolescent dingdong!" da vulture librarian said, coming in.
\
"bi da way, I run the git shop nd the library if u went to chek out some books."
"we wnt and looked in the book stor, and i got donald some cristmiss presents (DNT TELL HIM!11111)
Then I wnt to the gr8 hall.
Dumbelldor was making some anoncments!
"alrite all you lusers hoo arnt stayin 4 christmiss need to go 2 the tracters so they can go hom.
"MOV YUR BOODIES," prufesor mcdonald said!
"we kiked all the gays out of Hogwarts."
Then we all lafed at them, ZHAH
Then te danc mums said it waz tim 2 do a lesson…
They brote in a pyrmid (I h8 DAT shoe, I sawed it 1nce nd it WAZ ALL BOUT nurthurnurnrus!"
Trever and te other gae losers wer on the bottom, then all da southerners wer on toP!
"WAT HO CAN THIS B?"
"even tho we dent lik suthurnurs we have 2 admit you're the best
:cull": I sed.
Thn tey shoed us a dum danc, I knew I had 2 do it because, I, had, to, spi on, them!
It turns ote… IT WAS A GAE DANC! So I knocked them all up and through them ote of hogwerts!111111"
Thebn dumvbledor said, "JO BEKKE HAZ SAVD US"
Then harry cam up 2 me, "By the way you can call me bubba now."
"k,' I said.
Then it was krismis eve… WE WNT 2 BED XCITEDLY!
TOOOOOOOOOOOO BEEEEEEEE
Chapter 58
AN: Look her, dumbledorks in south Carolina u can marry yur first cuxin, it isn't incest, dumee.
Stop messin with me about that boy hoo died, I dnt care!
By the way thans 2 sara 4 editing the story.
Chapter 58: crismiss mornin
I wok up in te midel of the nite. I wnt downstares 2 get a drink.
SANTA WAS THER.
:OMG Dumbledore."
"go bak 2 sleep ho belle so I can giv you yur presents."
"Cool," I sed excitedly
When I wok up crismiss morning der was a HUG stak of presents w8ing 4 me. "OMG.,' Hermione said excitedly/ she runs and got her presents,
I looked at mine. Mrs weasely had given me a nice sweter.
I also got a lot of candey. I also got a relly good broom. I got a cull cloke of invisibility 2. It sad, deer jo bel I tink you need this ~ lLOVE dumberdore
"OMG santa gav me a present!
"WAT!" she said.
"Dis says Dumbledore."
"O yeah, bi theway, dumbledore is santa.
THEBDARRYL CAME UP…
"Ready 2 hav sum FUN?"
2 B CONTINUURED
Chapter 59
AN: U SUK! Ugh ur jus a bunch of lusers bein w/ ur cuzin iznt inces dufus
Sara culdnt edit so darel did
HOE IS IT MI FULT DAT BOY DIDE?/
ITS not dats y
I AM NOT tera dat dum nurthurner, u lusers
Bi da wae I LOV DA SOUT
Cahpetr 59: da mirror OF EDRISE
Darrel nd I got uunder da cloke of ivnsibilitee! We DISSAPEERED!1111111111111111111111111
Den we wnt to tis majicul rume… DER WAS A MERROR DER!
I luked in da mirror and sawed…
TO B CNTND
Chapter 60
AN: I DNt CAR wat u thnk bout me. Bein wit yur cuzin IZNT INCEST DUMBLEDORKS!111 surry sara culdnt edit mi stury this weke.
I LUV U DARRYL NO Mater wat no 1 els says!111111111111111111111
TELL ME HOE ITS MI FULT DAT PESUN COMTETED SUCIDE?/
Chaptr 60: KWIDDITH TRI OTES
I SAWED…..
…..rn
…
…
…
MI DED PARNTS!11111111111111111
OMG
DEN DUMBLEDORF WAS BHNIND ME!111111111111
"jo bekle do not luke into da mirror u will tern into ston!111111111111111111111
"OMG!"
"yes nowe go awae I mus do sumthin specal."
:K," I sed.
I wnt to kwidditch tri outs.
DA fat lade hoos da referee sed to me, "Jo bekle her u go nowe fli
I flu relly well, den I caut som balls.
"JO U WILL BE SEKER. Haree darrel jim bob u will b casers, harmernoi u will b keeper!11"
"YA!" we all sed.
"Bi da wae jo bekke is kwidditch captin!1111111"
EVERY1 CHEERD 4 ME!1111111111111111111111111111
TOOOOOOOOOOO BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE CONNNNNNNITNNUD
Chapter 61
AN: I made a nistak lol, I Darryl and Sara aren't my Uncle's kids, haha. Their my Aunt's! My dads sisters hehe.
O! GUESS WAT? Om going to be in Columbia Saturday. If u wnt my autograph cum to the west culombia subway at noon!
By the way thnks to Sara for editing!
YOU OBVIUSLY havnt read the books. Fred and gerge are beeters you dufus.
Chapter 61: THE kwiddich gam
Then it was tim for qudich! We walkd onto the feel melodramatically.
Then I hoped on mi broom! Then the fat referee sadi, "!"
We lal flew up into the air. I shoed fred nd gorge how 2 do the beeters stuff.
Then we fote slythrin. We diid really well. I beet up crab with my seeker bat!
THEN….
I…
SAW…
A…
SNITCH!
TWO BE CONTINUEED!1111111111
Chapter 62
AN" STUP flamin u dumbledorks!1111 BI DA WAE y did no1 cum 2 subwae 2 c me? It waz relly gud. Surry sara culdnt edit this tim
Chpter 62: WE WIN
I flu round nd caut da nitch . den dumbledore sed, "YAH JO BKEL GOOOOOOOO U WIN!1111111 YAH JO HELL!""
Evry1 chered. Den I wnt 2 ete diner. I GOT A…. new brume!11111
But sundly…..
FLUFFY CAM IN DA RUME!
2 b cntnd
Chapter 63
A?N: Your just jelus tat I hav 7000 REVEIWS!
It ISNT incest u dumbledorf.
If yu flame your just a GAE NORTHENOR!11
Thanks 2 sara 4 editing!11111
Thanks 2 all the SUTHERNORS 4 the gud reviews!
BI DA WAAE I LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUV U DARRYL!1111111
Chapter 62: dsuofdhnks
FLUFFY CAAM IN THE RoOM!11111111
"Fluffy what the hek do u think your doing,' HAGRID (Rmmber dat haggrid iz his sutthurn nam!11111)
Said suspiciously.
We ran through the valley to put hagrid bak in his kage.
Thank you jo bekle," HAgrid said.
Its ok.
Then he…
TRIDE 2 KISS ME!1111111111111111
"GO AWE U FREEK" I sed to HAMLET!111111111111
Then hagrid said that he waz sorry. Then daarryl kicked his boody 4 punishmnt,
Then harmione sadi, "so wats fluffy garding?"
Hagrid gasped anorexically!111
"SO wats he garding," he said.
"We looked suspicious.
Thn he tuld us, "DATS BTWEEN BDUMBLEDOR NIKOLISS FLANNEL!111111111
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
…
….
.
….
.
….
…..
CONTINUDE!11111111111
Chapter 64
SO WAT?/
ITS NUT incest u ignoramouses!1111111111111
Surree dat sara culdnt edid. DARRRRRYL DID A GR8 JOB THO
Vhapter 64- hoo is mr nikoliss flannel?/
Harmiony nd ei dcided 2 lok up mr nikolis flammel
We luked and loked, THIN….
..
SUM OBEESE PERSUN CAM UP…. I
.
,
….
IT WAS…..
….
….
…..
….
MADAM PLumfrey!111111111111 (U NO BECUZ SHEZ PLUMP HAHHAHAHAH lol
Thin she sed, everybody cum.
We all came toogethr.
THEN….
She sed it waz tim 2 go 2 medicin class.
"we lerned a lot ther,
Then we all went balk 2 the llibraree…. WHERE
THE VULTUR LIBRAREEIN SHOED UP!
Toooooo
Beeeeeee
CoNTANED
Chapter 65
AN: UGH! I sad STOP!1 Stop commentating on mi story nd stop FLAMING.
Thnks to SARA for editing!
CHAPTR
Thin the vulture librarian told us to go away. Then we wnt to HAMLETS house,
We ran slowly through hogwrts to hamlets house. HE WAz…
HATCHING A DRAGON!111 we runs in.
"HAMLET YOU INGNORAMUS WAT DO YOU THIN YOUR DOING" we cried.
TO BE CONTINUED
Chapter 66
AN: STOP FLAMIN U DUfuses
STUP BOTHERIN ME BOUT DAT DUM suicide ting.
BI DA way thnks 2 darrel 4 editin
CDHGAPTRE 666L DA SUTHURN Idragon
It terns ote da dregon waz rely a suthurner, o surry hagrid, a=we all sed.
\
THEEN… WE TOTEE THE DREGON TRIKS!1111111111
TO BE CONTINUD3ew/
Chapter 67
AN: STOP FLAMIN!111111111 im publishin mi hungr gams stury 2morrow!111111111111111111111111111
Tanks 2 darrel 4 editin!111111111111111111
Chapter ? wat chapter is it lol
We plaed with the dregon but then we luked thru the windo…
IT WAZ…
KWIRREL!
"O NO HAMLET UR NUT SUPPOSED TO HAV A DRAGON"
"O MI GOSh," JIM BOB SHOTED, "WAT SHALL WE
We ran to the forbiden dorest.
THer was sum1 ther….
It waz….
A UNIKORN!1111111111111
Chapter 68
AN: SORRY IT TUKE SOOOOOOOOOOOOO long 2 updat
CHPATER ^*!1111111111111111111 SA misterius unicorn AND VOLDYMORT!11111111111111111
I followed the unicorn with darrel, ,we ran thru THE FORBIDEN FORRSET!
We ran through the forest to help find the hurting uinkorns.
Jim bob wnt 1 way with darrel and me and herminone wnt another way. Hamlet wnt to his house in feer.
Bubba (rmmbr dats wat haree changd hiz nam 2 cuz hes mi bruthur) wnt with jim bob nd darel.
Then Hermione nd I saw…
KWIRREL SUKING BLOOD OUT OF A UNIKORN!1111111111111111111111111111
TO BE CONTINEUD1!11111111
Chapter 69
Ban: ok luzers isen up. im riten a kronicles of naria stury!111111 GO REED IT. 1 of mi frends, hoos mi dads neece nd is mi cuzin mite b joinin, her nam iz suzana but we call her suzee
Chaptr (da nxt chaptr dufus dnt u understand)
Jo bel
BI THE WAE STOP FLAMING U STUPID GAES
Wnt ovr 2 the unicorn.,
I sawe kwirrel nbd beet him up….
DEN…
DUMbldum flu op on his flien carpit!111111111111111
2 b cuntinude
Chapter 70
AN: Stop flaming, you stupid bimbos, thnks to sara for editing.
BYTHEWAY stop flaming, commentating, makin dramatic readings on utube (STOP MKAIN DRAMATIK REEDINGS U STUPID AUSTRALIEN) stop bein mean 2 me. IF ANY1 FLAMES ILL KILL MY SELF!
If you falme yur OBVIUSLEe a gay persun!111111111
Chapter 7000000000!
Dumbledorre flew up to sav us. "BUT…."
Quewirrel tride to kill Dumbledore!1111111111 BUT I SAVD HIM!111111111
"OMHJSHG thank u jo belle`,' he bleated.
Then we all went back to the castle, HAGRID WAS decoratin for eester. Ronuld and jim bob were with me. I wnt to bed. THAT NITE…
I wok up and saw…..
Dumbledor!11111
:WAt DA HEk?"
"oh hi there jo belle I was jus bein the eester bunny, but DNT TELL ANY!"!111111111
I sad ok, then I went bak to sleep.
To be continured…
Chapter 71
AN: I lOVE YIOU DARREL!111 yur the bedt bf in the worlf I will always LUV u!111111
U r mi harts desire!11 u r miiiiiiiiiiiiiiine! Yur the best persun in the hole wide wurld!11
You aare VERY smart, your SUPER hot and sXy!111 you LUV me, and I LUV u. we r SOLEMATES!11111111111
I will aLLWAYS LUV U!1111111111111
I cant w8 till wer mareed. By the way we mite drop ote of skool to get mareed!111111111 Isnt dat cook?/
Bi da wae nanashi stupp messin with me yur annoyin. Yur VERY immature
By the wae all u GAY flamers need 2 go 2 hel!111111
YUR ALL JELUS THAT I GUT 1000 REVEWS non of U hav dat manee revews
ON WIT DA STURY…
Chapter 71: the sortin hats .
The nxt day we wer called in to the grate hall,. The surtin hat waz ther,
"guys I hav a secrit 2 tell u!111"
"OMG WAT IZ IT," we all sed.
Ther is a new hogwerts house that's been discovered!11111111"
"!" we all sed.
Nowe da new order iz…\
Slitherin, wich iz still daa uglee gay house,
Hufflypuf wich is wer da butiful suthurner go
Revenclaw is still
da cleva suthurners, now grifedor is goin to be da brav suthuners!
And nowe the new hous will b….. REDNEKMaNIA (yeh, I no im a redneck, cuz redneks r awsum) dis is the house for the AWSUM SEXY BUTIFUL CLEVER SMART AMAZING BRAVA WUNDERFUL COOL BRILLINT SUTHUNERSn GOOOOOOO!11111111111111
Jo bel darel bubba jim bob and sum other relly awsum suthuners go
B CONTINE*RD
Chapter 72
AN: STUP flamin dumbledorks.
yur confuzin me. Hoos impersonating sum1?
Ter
Aneway hers chaptr 72 I hop u LUV it!111111111
Captr 72: DA SURPRISE, iv got a surprise, sum1 U no wil be in it
We went 2 daaa rednek commen room. HERMINOE RAN UP, today she was iin a dress with jo belles face on it, she was werin a bunch of jo belle rings 2, she even had a jo bel tattoo!11
"JO BEL HO BEL," she screemes.
"WAT?
\
" I asked" crazily
"I FOUND NIKOLAS FLAMEL!111111111111111111"
"OHMIGUSH,' dareyl screemed cuming to us.
"yeh hes on da bak of da choklat frog card. RELLY" we all asked generously
"yeH!" she screa,ed.
We all jumped 4 joy.
THEN….
NANASHI CAM UP!111111111111111111111111111
I culd tell rite away she was a dum lesbeen nurthernur!
"I H8 u" she sed, lukin green (U no, cuz she luks grene a lot, lol)
I kiked her boody!111111111 then we torturd her!1111111111
Then….. we brote out sum elektrikal shokers!111111111111
2 b cunitndude
Chapter 73
AN: STOP FITEN ovr me, I know im pretty but iv alredy got a bf. Hiz nam is DARRyl.
Thanks to sara for editin!
BY the waay, if you choose ME, ill let you uze som of the whips we hav. We use them to hurt the blak people in oour cellar lol.
Bi the way STOP IMPERSENATING ME!111111111111111111 Som1 is impersonating me!
CAHPTER 73:
We killed nanashi lol. Then the battle of hugwrts happned!11 I beet up all the STUPID flamers!11111111111
It terns out ther was a secrit! IT was…. Nicolas flammel