A/N - This story a bit random and just popped out of nowhere. But I'm liking how it's going so far, I have two chapters done and I'm writing the third now. I'm hoping this is going to be a fairly long fic. I hope anyone that reads it enjoys it!

Summary - Since moving to LA, Kendall is struggling to cope with his feelings for Logan. James says he should go for it and see if Logan likes him back. Will Kendall go for it or will he and Logan just stay friends?

Rating - M.

Pairing - Kendall/Logan.

Warnings - Sex, swearing, some violence.

God, this was killing me.

Seriously, I wasn't sure how much longer I could watch Camille fawn over Logan. I was sitting on a sun lounger beside the pool, watching as Camille flirted with Logan.

He'd gotten up from the lounger beside mine to grab us some smoothies. We'd been relaxing as Gustavo had given us a few days off from rehearsals. He'd been happy with the progress we'd been making, so agreed to let us have some time to relax.

I had been thrilled by the news, glad to have some time off from singing and dancing. Don't get me wrong, I loved singing almost as much as I loved playing hockey, but it was tiring. A little break was well and truly needed.

James and Carlos had wanted to use the time off to go to this new activity centre they'd heard about called Sports World. James had said it was this big centre where they had loads of crazy activities you could do, like wall climbing, trampolining and abseiling, etc.

It actually sounded pretty fun. I would have gone with them if Logan had agreed to go too. It was no secret that Logan, no matter how athletic and agile he was, was afraid of heights. There was no chance he'd let himself be strapped into a harness and climb a thirty foot wall.

I wasn't bothered by him not going though. No, I was fucking ecstatic.

You see, since moving to LA, my feeling towards Logan started to change. I started thinking about him a lot, especially when I wasn't with him. I was always wondering what he was doing or who he was with. When he first got together with Camille, I actually felt a little jealous. I didn't understand why at first, I just figured that I was missing spending time with my best friend.

So, I pushed my feelings aside, trying to forget about it. Then I got with Jo. Don't get me wrong, I did really like Jo. She was the first girlfriend I'd ever had, and I did really care about her. She was a sweet girl, really fun to be around, different than any other girl I had met. But during the relationship, I started to compare Jo to Logan.

Whenever I was around Logan, I always got this strange happy feeling. My stomach would feel as though it was doing backflips whenever he smiled at me. It was impossible for me not to smile when he smiled. It was infectious.

Of course Jo made me happy too, but not as happy as I was being around Logan. I realised that I liked Logan a lot, and I didn't think it was fair to stay with Jo.

So, we broke up.

Jo didn't take it too well. She'd cried a lot, begged me to take her back. I'd felt extremely guilty over the whole thing. At first she'd thought she'd done something wrong but I assured her that she hadn't. I didn't feel it was fair for me to not tell her why I was breaking up with her, so I told her that I was gay. I also told her that I had feelings for a guy but I wasn't able to do anything about it. She seemed to understand more after that. She had even offered to be there for me if I ever needed to talk, this made me feel even worse about breaking up with her. But it had to be done. It wouldn't have been fair to string her along. I would constantly be thinking about Logan and comparing Jo to him, the relationship just wouldn't have worked out.

Since then Jo and I have remained good friends, we're still really close and we hang out sometimes. However, after breaking up with Jo, my feelings for Logan just grew and grew.

The boy was constantly on my mind. Even while I was asleep, I was dreaming about him. This was bad enough, but the fact that I shared a room with Logan made it even worse. I was worried that one night, during a more…intimate dream, I would say Logan's name. That would be hard to explain.

It was also extremely hard for me not to sneak glances at Logan when he got changed in our room. Seriously, why did he have to be so gorgeous?

Anyway, I was ecstatic that Gustavo gave us time off, because this meant Logan and I could spend some alone time together while James and Carlos were at Sports World. We had been having a nice time before Camille turned up. Now, said actress was ruining mine and Logan's time together.

She was still stood beside him at the smoothie bar, fussing over him and giggling.

I really hated her sometimes.

Okay, I didn't hate her. Not really. She was a great friend, not only to Logan but to me, James and Carlos. She'd helped us out countless times since we'd moved to LA. She was actually a really nice person, maybe a little forward and loud sometimes, but she was an actress after all. I would like her a lot more if she didn't constantly flirt with Logan.

I sighed as I looked back to see Camille place her hand on Logan's arm, smiling sweetly at him. Logan didn't seem to mind, and smiled back at her as they talked.

The one thing that bugged me about Logan was how oblivious he could be. The so called 'brains' of the group had no idea that Camille was flirting with him. I suppose I should be happy about this. It meant that Logan didn't flirt back with her. He and Camille had been together for a few months after we moved to LA, but Logan had broken up with her. He'd said that he didn't think he was ready for a relationship yet.

I was happy about this. I was especially happy about the fact that since they'd broken up he hadn't mentioned her too much and didn't spend a lot of time with her. I think he saw her more as a friend now than a possible girlfriend. I hoped he did, anyway.

I looked back as Logan said something else to Camille as he picked up our smoothies. She nodded in response and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. I gripped the magazine I had been pretending to read as I watched him hug her back.

It was becoming harder and harder to hide my feelings for Logan, especially when Camille was around him. It was like she was rubbing it in my face how she could have him and I couldn't. I knew Logan wasn't gay, no matter how much I prayed that he was.

James had found out about my feelings towards Logan a few months ago and confronted me about it. He'd said that he was completely fine with me being gay but if I didn't want anyone to find out I'd have to stop being so obvious. I'd been embarrassed about this, not realising how much my affection for Logan shown.

I suppose I should have known. I was always putting an arm around him when I was near him, or a hand on his back when we walked somewhere. I also made sure to stand next to him in rehearsals, or sit next to him any chance I could. And, according to James, I stared a lot. I had denied this. I didn't do something as girly as stare at my crush, imagining what it would be like if Logan was my boyfriend. I didn't.

I realised I had been doing just that when I notice Logan walking towards me. I quickly looked down to my magazine, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from blushing.

"Hey," Logan said as he approached me.

He handed me my smoothie, the pink one of course, and sat in his own lounger.

"Thanks." I said quietly, taking a sip of the cold drink, liking the chill it sent down my throat.

"No problem. What were you thinking about just then?" Logan said with a curious smile.

"What do you mean?" I asked, seemingly oblivious.

"You were totally zoned out just now." Logan chuckled, sipping at his own smoothie.

I watched how his perfect lips curled around the straw, sucking up the blue liquid. I couldn't help the shiver that ran through my body at the thought of his lips being wrapped around something else.

I cleared my throat. "Oh, nothing."

"Liar." Logan smiled, leaning back against his lounger.

I smiled back at him, shrugging softly.

"So, what's going on with you and Camille?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

I was dying to know how he felt about her. I was praying that he didn't have feelings for her again.

Logan shrugged, looking away from me. I frowned at this, but stayed quiet.

"Nothing. She's just a friend."

"Are you sure?" I asked. "She was all over you then."

Logan shrugged again, still not looking my way. "She's just a friend."

I nodded softly, trying to hide my glee. If this was true, I didn't have to worry about Logan getting back together with Camille. It would kill me if she could have him when I didn't even get a chance with him.

"Fair enough, man." I said casually, looking back to magazine.

I couldn't stop myself from watching him out of the corner of my eye. He'd stressed out on the lounger, his sunglasses drawn over his face as he relaxed in the California sun.

God, he was beautiful.

The sunlight seemed to make his pale skin glow angelically. I quickly looked away, realising I was staring again. I needed to get over this crush.

But... I didn't think I could. The past few weeks I had realised that my 'little crush' had manifested into something much more than that.

The thing was, I'd fallen for my best friend.

I was in love with Logan Mitchell.

I frowned at the thought, hating that I would never get a shot with him. I mean, I could try and give it a shot, but I was afraid.

I wasn't afraid of him turning me down. The thought upset me a lot, but it's what I would expect him to do. No, what I was really afraid of was not having Logan Mitchell in my life.

The thought caused my chest to tighten and a frown to cross my face. Logan had been one of my best friends since kindergarten. I'd known him most of my life. He was such a great friend, so caring and sweet and honest, always there for me, and the thought of losing him was too much.

I sighed softly, dropping my magazine to my lap.

Life sucked sometimes.

"Kendall! Logan!"

I sat up, looking towards the voice. Carlos was running towards us, practically beaming. James was running after him, looking out of breath. I frowned when I looked to Carlos properly, noticing his arm wrapped in a black sling.

"Carlos, what the hell did you do?" I asked, standing up as he reached us.

"Someone didn't listen to the safety instructor at Sports world." James said with a shake of his head once he'd reached us.

Carlos was still beaming, however, seemingly not bothered about his injury.

"Guys, it was so awesome! I got to climb a huge wall, abseil and bounce on this really big trampoline!" He grinned, practically bouncing on his heels as he told us.

Logan stood from his lounger, frowning as he took in Carlos' arm. He gently pulled the sling back to inspect our friends arm.

"And that's not even the best part!" Carlos continued. "Then we got to jump of this really high platform and land on a huge airbag. It was awesome!"

I laughed lightly, smiling at how happy he seemed despite hurting himself.

"Carlos, you need to be more careful. You could have really hurt yourself." Logan scolded softly when he'd finished examining Carlos' arm.

He was frowning, clearly worried about our friend. That was one of the things I loved most about Logan. He was so caring. He was always the one to look after us all, always putting others before himself.

"But Logie, it was so much fun!" Carlos grinned, throwing his other arm around Logan's shoulder. "You two should come with us next time we go."

I smiled softly. "Sure, buddy."

Even though I was smiling, I was actually a little jealous. I wanted to be the one with my arm around Logan, holding him so close to me that I could smell the strawberry shampoo he used. God, I'm such a girl.

James must have noticed my look as he was smirking at me. I glared slightly at him before shaking my head.

"Come on, Carlos. I want to have a proper look at your arm." Logan said, sliding out of Carlos' hold to grab his smoothie.

He followed Carlos into the lobby, yelling at him to be careful as our bubbly friend took off running towards the elevators.

I rolled my eyes at them, grabbing my own smoothie before following them.

"Still loved up, then?" James asked as he walked beside me, smirking again.

I couldn't stop my blush and reached over to punch his shoulder.

"Dude, shut up! He could hear you." I whispered, quickly looking towards our friends.

Thankfully, Logan was too busy trying to calm Carlos down to notice us.

James laughed, rubbing his shoulder. "You're so whipped, dude."

"I am not." I huffed as we reached the elevators, stepping inside.

"Kendall, can you hold my smoothie?" Logan asked, looking up to me with a smile.

"Sure." I grinned, taking the drink from him, trying to ignore how my hand tingled as our fingers brushed together.

I heard a snort and glared at James. He made a whipping motion. I quickly looked to Logan, glad to see he'd busied himself with looking at Carlos' arm again. I was going to have to get James back somehow for all this teasing. Maybe I'd steal his lucky comb and give it to Lightning...

The elevator doors opened and Carlos took off again, probably wanting to tell Katie and my mom how much fun he'd had. Logan quickly followed him again, telling him to slow down.

James and I walked out of the elevator, heading to 2J.

"Kendall, why don't you just tell Logan how you feel?" James said quietly.

I sighed and shook my head. "I can't, James. He's not gay."

"You don't know that." James argued, shoving his hands into his pockets.

He stopped me before we went into our apartment, making sure Logan couldn't hear us.

"Just talk to him. Even if he doesn't like you like that I'm sure he'd understand. This is Logan we're talking about."

"I can't risk it, James. What if he doesn't understand and it screws up our friendship? I can't lose him."

James rolled his eyes softly. "You wouldn't lose him, Kendall. Logan's one of your best friends."

I bit my lip in thought. I couldn't just tell Logan how I felt.

"I can't."

James sighed. "Fine, don't tell him. But you need to do something about it or you're going to drive yourself crazy."

"I know." I said, sighing too. "But what else can I do?"

James thought for a minute. "Why don't you try hinting how you feel."

I tilted my head at him.

"You don't have to tell him, but you could try making a move on him. Just subtle hints, see how he reacts. If he doesn't react, or if he pushes you away then you know he doesn't like you like that."

I thought about it for a minute. I could try this, I supposed. It would be better than just blurting out that I was in love with him. God knows what Logan would do if I did that.

"Maybe.." I said quietly, glancing at the door to 2J.

"Just try it, dude. If it doesn't work then you and Logan will still be best friends." James said softly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "It's better than doing nothing about it and never knowing whether he could like you like that."

I thought for a minute before nodding. "Okay... I'll try it."

James grinned and pulled me into a quick hug. "Just take it slow. Don't rush into this. And you know I'm always here for you if you ever want to talk about this."

I smiled at this, hugging him back before pulling away. "Thanks, man."

"No problem, dude." James smiled. "Now, come on. I've got an idea."

A/N - So there we go! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter.

I'll be uploading chapter 2 in a few days, but if I get a good response from this chapter, I might upload it earlier.

Thank you for reading. Also, let me know in a comment if you want this fic to be purely Kogan, or do we want a bit of Jarlos in here too?

Let me know..xx