WARNING: This story talks about real issues in life such as rape, eating disorders, depression and other such context. This is not a depressing story but a more realistic story than what I normally deal with. If you are not mature enough to handle such context then I recommend that you do not read this, but please do not leave hateful comments or tell me how I do not understand issues such as this and have no right to write about these topics because I personally struggle every day of my life with these issues and are just now becoming comfortable enough to try and write about them in the hopes of helping with my own recovery. Thank you.
"Class," the teacher calls bringing everyone's attention from the in class lab to the front of the room where he stood. I've been in this class for almost a whole semester now and though I'm the main student, along with Shuichi Minamino, who is always answering questions in class and always asking him more advance level biology questions I can never remember the teacher's name. I know that it is a very generic name for very boring generic man.
"As of today you will be working on a group project for the final. I still expect you all to also stay caught up with the last five chapters in the book for the multiple choice part of the final. The details pertaining to the project are in the handout on my desk. Grab them on you way out. Class dismissed." The teacher unfreezes the projector to reveal the pairing.
'Shuichi Minamino,' I think to myself in confusion. 'Normally he doesn't place the two of us together because he wants people like us to help the lower grade students. Maybe it's because this is for our final and not a normal grade. Everyone seems to be paired up with people around the same grade.' I bite my lower lip in thought as my face contorts with confusion.
"It looks like we will be partners,Tones." Shuichi greets with a polite smile. We aren't friends, but we are on friendly terms. Secretly I wonder if he's gay or A sexual since he's never shown any interest in anyone. With how many girls are all over him and that he's never once had any rumors of him getting laid it's likely that he's turned off by females.
"Chiyo is fine, Shuichi," I ask the last part do to being uncertain if using his first name is OK.
"Yes," his smile broadens a little as we walk side by side to grab our assignment and leave.
"My next class isn't for two hours if you want to go over the assignment and get something from the cafe." I bite my lower lip debating about it. It would be best to start our project now, but it was also time for me to go for my work out.
'If I don't eat dinner and I have a light breakfast tomorrow then work out for four hours instead of the normal two hours I should be OK.'
"Alright but I'm not really hungry."
"That's fine, I'll just grab something and meet you under the tree directly in front of the west entrance."
"Alright I'll meet you there." I beam at him before skipping off towards the spot.
Once at the spot I pull out my laptop and open up my schedule for the rest of the month. I change today's and tomorrow's schedule to accommodate this unexpected change.
"So what does this project intal?" Shuichi asks sitting down with a sandwich and a small bag of garden chips.
"I'm not sure yet. I was just pulling up my schedule for the rest of the semester so that we can plan out our times to meet up and work on our projects." I turn my laptop around to face him.
"Hmmmm," he hums looking over the schedule. "It seems as if you maxed out your schedules everyday if the week."
"Well I can move things around. My gym is 24 hours so I can move the workouts for after I finish things and I guess I could cancel my weekend volunteer. But I have to get my workout in tomorrow." He looks at me confused as to why it was so important to me.
"Do you mind if I ask why that is."
"Well, I'm skipping it today to have this meeting with you and because of my test coming up in chemistry I need to study for it before I head off to work."
"You are quite the active person aren't you Chiyo," Shuichi asks in a manner that suggests concern despite the light hearted poke. As I always do, I laugh it off with a bright smiling "I guess so".
"So weekends at your place and weekdays at mine then? How would we work out the essay and presentation part of this," Shuichi asks flipping through the requirements. I look over them as well biting my lip in concentration.
"Well we can both work on the research once we figure out the specific subject and area. We will begin the essay and presentation with a general overview then delve into our specific area. Once we collect it all we can work together on it. I prefer making powerpoints if you don't mind." I trail off at the end uncertain with my constant rambling and if I came off a little too pushy with my take charge attitude.
"Fox," a dark distant voice calls as a boy dressed in all black and gravity defying hair appears behind Shuichi. I blink rapidly in shock and scuttle away.
"Hiei," Shuichi greets the boy. "Has something happened?"
"Yes." I look at them in confusion as the two boys just talk back and forth in cryptic half talk.
"I'm sorry, but I must go Chiyo. I'm not certain as to when I will back. I hate to do this to you but whatever you choose will be fine with me. And I promise to make it all up to you." I frown, not believing what I was hearing.
"What I so important that you have to leave right this moment? You're not the type to leave a few weeks around the end of a semester."
"I know and I'm sorry about this. If there was any other way I would stay." My frown deepens as a slight scowl forms.
"I promise I'll make this up to you." I sigh at his pleading desperate look.
"Just get back as fast as you can and I'll call us even. I'm sure that it's important for you to miss class and bail on me."
"I truly am sorry Chiyo."
"It just means I can get my workout in today is all." Shuichi smiles at me then takes off. I pack my stuff and ride the bus home to my roommates who awaited me.
"Chiyo, where have you been we were supposed to go to the gym together?" Ana's high pitched disgruntled voice greets me.
Ana is my best friend and roommate. We work together at the coffee shop a few blocks away from our apartment, but we've known each other since middle school. She is currently attending for some sort of physical therapist degree and is the biggest health person I know. In a lot of ways she's the one that made me so health conscious, though I've always been body conscious because of the bulky body martial arts gave me when I was little.
"Sorry I was working on a project and class let out late because lab went longer than expected." Ana puffed out her cheeks and stuck her tongue out at me.
"Well we're heading now and then were going out for dinner because I forgot to pull something out."
"I'll just take a smoothy, my project partner already had me go with him for lunch." Now I know that I didn't really eat anything when I met up with Shuichi, but I also don't want to go out to some restaurant and eat something that didn't fit in my agreed list of foods.
"Oh shush, you could benefit to gain some weight. Your muscle mass is the only thing keeping you from being bones anyways." Ana is always getting me on my eating. As a physical therapist you think that she would notice I have problem, but I think she just believes that I don't eat enough which I don't but not to the extent that she knows of.
At the gym Ana and I split up for our separate workouts. For my workout I do an hour on the elliptical and another hour doing heavy cardio. Its intense and something well worth it. The high and push of the workout is awarding enough, but then when I enter the woman's shower and changing room I feel best about myself. I'm fat, my body structure doesn't allow me to be skinny, but when I weigh myself I can see that I've lost weight just since last weeks weigh in I'm extatic.
'125,' I smile to myself. 'Just 15 more pounds.' Most women around me have always been a size three vs my plus sized size five fat ass self. I can't be happy until I'm that size and weight as well.
I quickly shower off and change into fresh clothes before meeting up with Ana.
"You look happy," Ana comments and I just beam at her.
"Shall we go to dinner," I ask looping my arm with her's. Since I'm almost there I see no harm in allowing myself to eat something that didn't normally fit within my list of approved foods.
"This place has some amazing food," Ana informs me while jerking me into a random restaurant. The smell instantly makes me sick to my stomach:grease. Everything in this place is greasy and covered in hot artery clogging fat.
'I can't do this!' Externally I'm calm and fine as we walk up to the hostess but internally I'm having a mini panic attack.
"Table for two," Ana instructs the hostess while she directs us to our seats. The hostess hands each of us a menu before leaving. Looking over the menu I find my fear to be true.
"As someone with a nutritionist license I'm surprised you choose this place." I look at Ana as she stares back with a look of great confusion.
"Why?"
"After a workout your metabolism is very high and yet this place has mostly things such as burgers and starchy foods." She laughs at me, blatantly laughs.
"That's why I chose it. The carbs and protein is exactly what we need, plus good pie."
'I disagree, but whatever.' After workouts I like to just have an all natural strictly fruit smoothy, today I have no such luck.
Dinner went by quickly, but I did not hold it down. The grease and how unhealthy it was just didn't sit well with me. I was sick to my stomach just trying to eat the burger.
"Now wasn't that wonderful," Ana asks as we get home. I nod my head and head straight to my room to begin Shuichi's and my project. The next few days go by as normal until one night I receive a random phone call around midnight.
"Hello," I ask.
"Hey, this is Kurama's- I mean Shuichi's bio partner right?"
"Yes this is she," I ask still very confused.
"Kur-Shuichi is passed out right now, but he wanted to make sure that I called some chick name Chiyo who he's doing a project with to tell her: tomorrow at his place around 3 o'clock and on is good for him."
"Alright, I'll be there as soon as I get off work at 2. Do you have an address for me?"
"It should be in your master schedule. " My brows furrow but I pull it up anyways. Sure enough an address was placed on what was supposed to be our first get together for 3 pm on except for Mondays and Fridays which were 7 o'clock.
"Cool, oh by the way he truly feels bad about ditching you the past several days. We tried to hurry back but there was no way for us to." I wasn't sure who it was that I was talking to, but it was clear that he cared for Shuichi.
"I know he does. Shuichi is a really good guy. Very caring."
An eating disorder is a very serious thing that many people struggle to understand. If there are any questions pertaining to the topics I'm discussing or you're just looking to talk to someone who understands feel free to message me or comment, which ever you feel more comfortable with.