Have you ever loved someone so much, you want to scream it to the whole world? But when you try and tell that one person your feelings, you can't get them out? Go ahead and think about it, I'll wait...
See! You know what I mean! The jitters, the butterflies in the stomach. You look into her eyes and get so lost in them you forget what you are going to say. You either say something totally stupid or just walk away.
It all started more then 18 years ago when I was eight years old. I wouldn't really call it love so to say. Hell you don't know love at 8 years old. It was more of a school boy crush, ya that's it! At eight all girls had cooties, except for one; Melina Perez. She was the cutest girl on the playground, she was just so sweet. I remember her being so shy at school. Always kept to herself. I befriended her quickly after the Bellla Twins started to pick on her. I just felt the need to protect this angel.
We were glued to each other. She would always come over on the weekends; my family considered her their daughter they never had. We loved to play in the tree house my father made. She loved to watch wrestling with me. I think that was one of the main reasons I found her so cool. None of the other girls watched it, only her. We would try the moves the wrestlers were doing, and she would burst into fits of laughter every time I busted out my Macho Man impression. The crush never faded, but that's all it was at the time. I surly would get over it. But then puberty had to hit.
Right before high school, Mel decided to go to her grandmothers for the summer. I was upset but happy for her. She rarely got to go over there, since her grandparents lived in Florida. She was gone for the whole summer. Those were the longest two months of my life. We would text everyday and talk on the phone though. She loved to tease me about my voice changing. I told her It means I was growing sexier. I could see her rolling her eyes and blushing as she giggled. I knew her so well.
Then September hit, the first day of high school. We agreed to meet up outside the school. This would be the first time we saw each other since June. We were just so busy preparing for school when she came back from Florida, we didn't get to se each other. I was waiting right by the entrance, watching all the students go by. So many had changed; The Bella's became even more slutty, Cena became jacked, and Mike...well...he still was an idiot.
That's when I felt a tap on the shoulder. I turned around and was lost for words. I was face to face with the most beautiful woman on earth. I knew that face anywhere, it was Melina. But man had she changed. Her hair was longer then I remembered. And she had makeup on, something she usually hated. It made her beautiful big brown eyes stand out more, I loved it. She had filled out in the chest department and damn did she ever have the most sexiest curves. My heart stopped in my chest. She was drop dead gorgeous! When I came out of my hypnotized state, I swept her into my arms and hugged her. I must be honest I wanted to do allot, and I mean, A LOT , more then that.
With Mel's puberty change shoved in my face, high school was rough. I would often find myself daydreaming about her, and being friends was becoming harder. When she hugged me, I wanted to kiss her. When she laughed, I wanted to kiss her. When she talked, I wanted to kiss her. When she...well...anything she did I wanted to kiss her.
Since we were best friends, we told each other everything. That might have been the hardest part. I was the first one to know when she had her first kiss. I was the first to know when she started dating her first ever boyfriend (Boy did that ever kill me). I was the first to know her...umm...first time (She came to me wanting to know if I had experience. I lied and said I did, tons. I regretted that the moment it left my lips. She looked hurt for some reason). And I was there when she experienced her first breakup. We were close friends, hell 11 years later and we still are. Which leads us to today.
Currently I am pacing around my living room, or as Mike calls it, one step closer on making the floor collapse. Today I'm going to tell my best friend of 18 years how I feel.
Every Saturday since high school, me and Mel have had a tradition; going to the movies. We always go to the theater, depending what is on. This Saturday is different though. I called her around 1 to make sure plans were still on. When she answered her crying broke my heart. Again her asshole boyfriend of 2 years, David, picked another fight with her. Then he walked out during the convo. We both know where he went, although she doesn't want to admit it. We both know David has been cheating on her with Kelly, she just doesn't want to admit it. Every time I bring it up we end up fighting. She knows deep down I am right, but love is blind I guess.
My thoughts are interrupted when her tiny frame walks into the house. She looks stunning today, like everyday. Her long black hair pulled into a messy bun. She is wearing her favorite red lace top that shows every single sexy curve on her body. He black skinny jeans shows her perfect ass that I want to...oh god I need help.
"Yo butt wipe, they didn't have any Hawaiian, so I got cheese because it's basically the same, without all that extra crap on it."
There's my angel...
"Hello to you to sweet cheeks," I greet her, taking the pizza out of her hands. I watch her grab a drink, before plopping down on the couch. "So, what honor does it bring me to have sweet Melina in my house, not super bitch Mel."
She gave me the death glare before sighing, then releasing a little giggle. "I've just been thinking. Out with the old, in with the new, you know."
"Does this involve David at all?"
"Yes. I think I've grown out of love with him. It's been like this for a few months now. Maybe 11, but I really don't wanna talk about. If I do I'm going to become a wrecking ball. And I don't want that before the movie."
I grab my drink and sit beside her, and that beautiful sent of that perfume she always wears hits me hard. Did I mention I need help? I rest my feet on the table and scroll through the on demand section.
"I respect your decision. Anyways, what movie shall we watch? Ted? The Other Woman?"
"How about Annabelle?"
"Mel, you HATE scary movies! Are u sure I'm with the right person? Did a evil alien take over your body?"
"Yes, take me to your leader," she mocks, smacking me on my arm. "I just am in the mood for something scary. I'm trying to overcome my fear of horror."
"Well if you shit your pants, the changing room is down the hall."
"You're a asshole, you know that," she glares. "Just put the movie on before I take my pizza and leave."
"So mean," I pout, which is returned with her sticking out her tongue at me.
40 minutes later
Usually I would be loving this moment, but I can't stop laughing. Here I am with a trembling Melina curled into my side, screaming her eyes out. I finally put her out of her misery and turn the movie off.
"Why did you turn it off, I would've been ok!"
"I really didn't feel like taking you to the hospital after you had a heart attack Mel. I'm a good friend like that." She gives me a small smile and mouths a thank you. To damn cute. "How about we watch some modern family?"
"Deal," she smiles.
It is now fifteen minutes into the second episode of Modern Family, and I cant take my eyes off her. The way she laughs when Cam does something funny, the way she rolls her eyes when Phil does something stupid. And I can't help but think of us everything she talks about she wants a kid like Manny. It's now or never. I can not hold back anymore, so I get my balls out of my purse and shut the TV off.
"HEY! It was at a good part," she whines. God she is to cute.
"We need to talk Mel," I begin, turning my body to face her. She gives me a questioning look, so I continue. "I have been holding this in for 18 years, I can't hold back anymore."
"You're not gay are you?"
I stare at her wide eyed as she looks on in horror.
"Not that there is anything wrong with that," she continues, blushing widely out of control. "I just never pictured you in that lifestyle.
"No, I'm not gay, but thanks for taking the awkwardness out of this convo."
"Go on," she whispers, so I do.
It's now or never John. Just do it!
"Like I said, It's been 18 years I have held this secret in. And I know this might ruin a friendship, but dammit I can't hold back anymore. So here goes nothing. I'm in love with you Melina. I have been since we were just kids. I've always known there was something special about you. You're beautiful, inside and out., and by god I love you. I know I am risking a friendship but I can't go on living with this secret. I...Love...You."
I look at her for a response, but I get nothing. She turns away from me, and just stares at the floor. Finally after what seems like forever, she responds. "Wow."
"Wow? That's it? Wow?"
"John," she goes to speak, but I cut her off.
"I knew this was a bad idea," I mumble. "I understand if you want to leave and not come back. God I'm an idiot."
I find myself leaping off the couch and walking to the kitchen. That's when I feel her following me. I stop in my tracks when she grabs my hand. It's like a bolt of electricity jolted through me. I turn around to see her with tears in her eyes.
Great, you made her cry dumby!
"Why didn't you tell me all those years ago John? Why did you wait till now?"
"Because we were friends Mel. Good friends. I was to chicken shit to say anything back then. I didn't want to loose you."
"You would've won me John." I shoot her a confused look. She took a deep breath before she continued. "You think you were the only one who had crushes back then? I knew from day one there was something about you. My feelings grew through high school. I gave up that day when I came to you for, you know, first time advice. When you said you did all those girls. That crushed me. It made me think that you didn't want someone like me, or you would be pursuing me like you did them."
"It was a lie Mel. I never slept with anyone at that time, let alone tons of girls. I only did it to make myself look macho. U had a boyfriend, I couldn't have you, so I, being stupid, made something up."
"Well maybe if you told me your feelings I wouldn't have made the biggest mistake of my life, loosing something so precious to someone I didn't even love. To someone I pretended to love, I even fooled myself."
We sat silent for a moment, taking in what each other had said. It felt like ages before I finally continued.
"You liked me back then?" I question. Out of everything that was the only thing I could wrap my head around. Stupid right? She grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together.
"Not liked John. Loved. I still do," she mumbled. I blinked to her confession. Was I hearing right? Did my dream girl love me back? God, if this is a dream, wake me up right now...now...right now!
What about Dave?
"What about him?"
Crap, did I say that outloud?
"Yes you did," she giggled. "And like I said, I never loved him. I settled. It was never love. How can I love David when I always loved you? As I said before, I was done with him 11 months ago. I just need to make it official."
"So, does this mean we have a chance?"
"I don't kn..."
"Why not?" I whined.
"I love you, I just don't want to jump into something so fast John."
"Will this help?" I said before I did something I have been wanting to do since high school. I captured my lips with her. It was so much better than I had ever dreamed; her lips were so soft, sweet like cherries. It took me a couple seconds to realize what I had done. I almost panicked and pulled away, but her soft hands slid up my stomach, resting gently on my chest as her lips moved against mine.
She was kissing me back.
And she was fucking good at it. It was the best fucking kiss of my life.
I wrapped my arms around her gently, holding her protectively, but when she started trembling against me I gently pulled away, and smiled up at her. She was staring back at me, lust filled in her eyes. I leaned in and kissed her once more, barely brushing her soft lips with mine, before pulling her close to me.
"Did that help," I whispered? She gigged and looked up at me, before giving me a soft peck on the lips.
"Yes, it did," she smiled. I knew right then, everything was going to be ok.