~…Just something I had to write for English class…~

A Halloween Story

By Zain Memon

            Anita walked out of her door into the chilly wind. She looked around at all the little kids in costumes. "Stupid trick-o'-treaters," she thought. She despised them, partly because she could never be one of them. Her parents were very overprotective and so they never let her go door to door asking for candy. They just bought her bags and bags of candy that she could get for free anyway if she could go trick-o'-treating. That's why she was so fat and had horrible teeth.

            Suddenly, a cute little girl dressed up as a fairy came up to her. She had a tiny wand and little wings and everything. In the cutest voice, the girl said, "Trick-o'-treat!!" Anita looked down at the smiling, expectant child. Her eyebrow twitched in irritation as she reached out and smacked the little twerp. She wailed and started crying. So Anita smacked her again. She started running away. When the kid was a little distance away, she looked back at Anita and sourly screamed out, "YOU'RE FAT!!!" That pissed Anita off. So Anita quickly picked up a stick and chased the little fairy girl down the block. She turned a corner and as Anita followed, she found herself staring into two more fairies, obviously friends of the little fairy girl.

            "Stop picking on our friend, you fat person!" they squeaked. Anita's eyebrow twitched again as her stick bonked the two fairies in the head. They fell down, unconscious, since it happened to be a pretty big stick. Anita cackled maniacally. She didn't notice the little fairy girl sneak up behind her and smack her with her little paper wand. Anita screamed in fear because, you know, hitting someone with paper can potentially give them a paper cut. The little fairy girl cackled maniacally as she ran away.

            "NOOOOOO!!!" wailed Anita. She lost her prey. On top of that, she was hungry. She had only had 2 turkeys for dinner. So she decided to eat the two little unconscious fairies lying there since they looked like cooked chicken because, you know, anything looks like chicken when you're hungry. As soon as she took a bite out of one of the girls, she snapped up and started screaming in pain. Anita smacked her. So she ran away with a big bite taken out of her arm. In the meantime, the other unconscious fairy girl had mutated into a hairy spider because, you know, if you leave fairies alone they can mutate into hairy spiders. The spider popped up and smacked Anita with a tuna. Suddenly, they realized they shared a common interest: smacking people with tunas. So they sat down and talked for a little. The spider cleared up the matter about Little Miss Muffet; he only wished to smack her with a tuna, not to scare her away.

            Suddenly the spider started shaking. It was having a baby! It convulsed and then exploded and guts flew everywhere. Lying there, in the middle of all the guts, was President George W. Bush, fully clothed (thank god). He stood up and started mumbling about how bad Saddam Hussein was and how he was going to go to war with Iraq. He walked away as Anita stood there and drooled because, you know, many people think that George Bush is sexy.

            Anita started getting tired. So she walked back to her house. On the way there, she smacked every single little kid that she saw and took their candy and ate it all. One little kid actually tried to fight her. She smacked him. He started crying and ran away. She chased him with a giant tuna down the block. He passed out from running too much so she stole his hair too. Lying in the middle of the sidewalk was a little bald kid that smelled like tuna.

As she was walking back she saw a sign that said, "Live chickens! They're live! And you can use them for whatever you want to! You can play with them or eat them or smack them or give them out as gifts! Only $300! That's a price you can't beat with a stick!"

So she picked up a stick and beat the sign.

When she finally got home she saw her parents waiting for her. "Anita, we've decided to let you go trick-o'-treating," they said. Anita was overjoyed. She didn't need a costume because she looked horrendous enough to go without one. So she grabbed a garbage bag and went around door to door and got some candy. She smacked every single person who didn't give her good candy.

~…^_^ Please review it! I live for reviews! ^_^…~