WARNING - Descriptive canoodling ahead. Rated M.
Stuck again. I curse the landlord of my piece of crap dwelling place loud enough for the neighbors to hear, and let out my frustrations by beating on the door to my apartment a few times. It swells in summer, and I have to kick it in most days just to let myself inside. Apartments are expensive in the city and I settled for something cheap hoping that it would only be temporary, so that I could save most of the life insurance money I collected from my family after their deaths. One of these days I want to move us out to the suburbs, but I'm not sure how my girlfriend, Katniss, would take it if she learned my future plans involved marriage to her, a house full of Mellark babies with her dark hair, olive skin or platinum eyes, and a two story house with a wrap around porch, complete with a picket fence. Maybe a tire swing hanging from a huge oak in the front yard. The vision is enough to make me smile despite our current living conditions.
When I finally manage to wedge the door open, the stifling air chokes me. If my apartment was a person, it would be giving me the finger. The air conditioner is busted and the indoors offers us zero relief from the rapidly warming temperatures of May. The ceiling fans are whirring at full speed in both the living room and the tiny bedroom Katniss and I share, but she's nowhere to be found.
I see the window in our bedroom is shoved all the way to the top. The curtains billow angrily, caught in the competing currents of air created by the ceiling fan and the humid breeze outside. My heart bottoms out of my chest, just like when I found Katniss out there yesterday. It was hot as balls in the apartment and she claimed she needed some fresh air. It unnerved me to a degree I hadn't felt since I lost my family twelve years ago when my childhood home caught on fire. After I'd finally coaxed her inside with her favorite bakery treat, I immediately sought out our Scraggly-haired, half-drunk Super, trying to light a fire under his ass to get the thing fixed.
My mind swirls with morbid thoughts, making me dizzy. I hope she hasn't done it again. The fear of losing another person I love is real and gripping, and right in front of me.
My hurried footsteps across the wood floor are met with a loud banging under my feet and a muffled cry of 'keep it down up there!'. I've never been quiet on my feet. I've been told I couldn't surprise a deaf person from behind, and old man Cray never lets me forget it. At least once a day he's pounding on his ceiling, calling for peace and quiet. He's an ornery jackass, but I stop in the middle of the room and kick off my shoes off in an attempt to pacify him. My tread is still solid even without them, but for now I don't care. I just want to find Katniss. I miss her every minute we're not together, and from the time I get off work, I'm counting down the minutes until she's in my arms.
Sometimes I lay awake at night, while she sleeps next to me, and I still can't believe my good fortune. Her ex was such an idiot to have let her go. He cheated and lied. Couldn't keep it in his pants and almost ruined Katniss's future trust in any man. They'd been friends since childhood, said it was expected of them to be together. His deception blindsided her like a bullet train, and she would barely give me the time of day when we first met. But I kept coming around, breaking down those walls. I can see what that peckerhead wouldn't. She's the best thing that's happened to me.
Poking my head through the confusing mass of sheer fabric, I rest my palms on the sill of the window and peek outside. I swallow down the panic threatening to spill out in a string of loud curses when I see Katniss is there again, on the ledge, legs hugged to her chest. Wisps of hair blow across her sun-kissed cheek and forehead, and there's a distant look on her face.
"Hey," I say with a cautious whisper, trying not to scare her. It frightens me to see her out there, but I don't want to transfer those feelings to her in case she panics and freezes up, afraid of falling to her death. "What are you doing out here?" Her eyes meet mine, and even though the situation has my insides screaming at her to come in, for just a moment they take a back seat to the fact that I get to be with the most beautiful woman alive. I can forget just about anything but her. She has that effect on me.
"Just thinking," she says, her eyes turning back to sweep the skyline in the fading afternoon sunlight. Mine flit down to the concrete sidewalk and iron fence that encase our building where she would surely meet her end if she fell. I swallow hard again in an effort to keep my stomach down. I want to reach out and grab her. Yank her in and admonish her for scaring me. Then kiss her senseless, show her how much she means to me and beg her never to do this again.
"About?" I whisper, still treading lightly on my fears.
"Why are you whispering?" she whispers back playfully.
"I didn't want to scare you," I reply, my volume slowly returning to normal. "I'm actually kind of freaked that you're out here." I laugh weakly, hoping the vague reference to my discomfort coaxes her off the ledge. I'm just seconds from embarrassing myself with a load of pleading and crying hiding just beneath the thin exterior of calm I'm trying to keep.
"Peeta, you kicked the door to our apartment in, and I counted the steps you took from there to here... Fourteen," she tells me with a glint in her eye. It's not the first time Katniss has teased me about having lead feet. "Come out here with me." She holds her arm out for me, beckoning me with her soft, glowing skin and playful fingertips.
"Katniss, it's ten floors up and I'm about as balanced as I am silent when I walk," I joke. But my stomach is rife with anxiety that she wants me to join her out there, rather than she join me in here. Here, where there isn't very far to fall. I'd much prefer for us to fall into our bed than to our deaths, and I tell her as much. She laughs. I would get lost in the sound of it save for our situation.
"Peeta, this ledge is plenty wide for you to come and sit next to me," she says, patting the cement holding up her lithe frame. It's true. It is a wider ledge than most apartment buildings have, but that doesn't lessen the dread that something awful is likely to happen. "Come on," she says with an innocent smile and the same voice she uses to murmur into my ear when our bodies tug and slide against each other at night. I'm a useless puddle of mush when she speaks to me that way.
Against my better judgement, I slowly and gracelessly climb out onto the three-foot slab of concrete jutting into the air. My knuckles are white with tension as I keep a death grip on the inside of the window. I should have tied a rope to something heavy in the apartment before agreeing to this, and forced Katniss to do the same. Being with Katniss is like taking a drug that kills off my brain cells one by one. I'd do anything for her.
I keep my eyes on the traffic the entire time. The sound of honking horns and squealing brakes below me are muffled and distant in my ears. My heart is pounding loud enough that I expect old man Cray to burst through the door any minute and order me to keep it down. Katniss's soothing voice winds its way through the thundering noises, and I follow it like a beacon until it sounds as if she is right next to me.
"Look at me," she says calmly. "Keep your eyes on me." I try, my gaze moving back and forth between her and what's below. At first it's terrifying not to look down, but a deep breath and a few glances at her confident, relaxed expression has the tension easing away ever so slightly, until it's mostly abated.
"You're too far away," she complains, gently pulling at my shoulder. I start to cautiously scoot towards her, pressing my back against the brick wall as a way to keep me grounded even though my legs dangle a hundred feet in the air. I'm not flexible enough to pull my knees up like Katniss does. She must see the alarm on my face because she stops me.
"Nevermind. I'll come to you," she says, and in strangely quicker than I care for, our thighs are snug against each other. I slowly put my arm around her shoulders and pull her into me. Finally, I can take a deeper breath than I've been able to draw since I poked my head out the window. I'm still not completely relaxed, and I doubt I will be until we're off this thing, but it's a start.
"You know, when I came home from work today, this isn't quite the intimate scenario I had in mind," I admit to her quietly. I'm not quite sure what to do with my eyes. I've decided looking up is ten times worse than looking down, which is still terrifying, so I either keep my gaze focused on the apartment building across the way, or squeeze my eyes closed and breathe in the comforting scent of Katniss's hair. The way the bakery smells used to be my favorite scent until I met Katniss. Cinnamon and brown sugar don't hold a candle to the fresh aroma of vanilla and sandalwood.
She snuggles into the crook of my arm, which tightens around her protectively. "Oh, yeah?" she asks.
"Yeah." I'd feel so much better right now if I had some Spidey-sense or knew I could fly like Superman.
"So what, exactly, was going on in that head of yours?" she asks playfully, as if she doesn't already know. Her hand rests on my chest and her fingers begin to draw lazy circles into the fabric of my tee shirt. Her tender touch reverberates from head to toe, and every place in between. No one gets me going like Katniss. Now, more than ever, I want to get her inside. There's no way I can do all the things I've meditated on today out here on this cursed ledge.
"Come inside with me and I'll show you," I tell her, hoping my tone is persuasive enough to get us off this damn thing.
"Pun intended?" she laughs. I'm so hyper aware of where we are and how unnatural it all feels that I hadn't even heard myself. I can feel the left side of my mouth crook up in a smirk.
"Which answer will get me inside quicker?"
"You're just full of puns aren't you? Is this what happens when you get nervous?" Her last word has a teasing lilt to it, and she angles her head up to look at me. Her eyes dance with mirth then travel down to my lips as her hand ascends from my chest, wrapping around the back of my neck. Her fingers glide into the short hairs there and she pulls me down to her. When our lips meet, I forget. Everything. The only thing falling right now is me for her. I know because I've done it a thousand times. And I'll never tire of this feeling I have when we're together.
The scrape of her teeth against my bottom lip makes me hiss and she sucks it into her mouth, soothing it with her silky tongue. She could eat me alive and it would probably feel good. I'm lost in the way she feels against me, my insides churning for more of her, in every way that she'll allow. She leans back, pulling me with her. Our bodies fit together perfectly, and all I know is I want her. Now.
Our kiss intensifies. Katniss moans into my mouth as my hand skims the side of her breast on its way to anchor at her hip. Her hand is still tangled in my hair while the other fists my t-shirt near the waistband of my jeans. I immediately imagine her hand slipping inside to wrap around my cock and I instantly get hard, causing my jeans to become snug and uncomfortable. My skin tingles, desperate for contact with the warmth of hers, so I slide my hand down further and then up beneath her tiny, frayed denim shorts. The smooth skin of her upper thigh is hypnotizing and I dig my fingers into her flesh, using my thumb to massage the inside of her leg.
She groans and tugs at the snap of my jeans, but it doesn't come undone. I smirk proudly at her soft cries of desperation. I love knowing I have this kind of effect on her. I pull back just enough to nibble on her ear, then skate my breath across her jaw and down her neck, flicking my tongue across the places I know she loves, stopping to suck on the tender spot at the base of her neck. She writhes next to me, her hips searching for friction from mine.
A horn sounds from below. The crash of shattering glass and crunching metal finally breaking through the lust-induced haze that had fallen over us. Katniss's head jerks to the side toward the racket below, trying to find the source of the noise. Shades of orange that fade to pinks and purples, that would normally relax me, slaps me in the face with the reality of our situation. The haze of lust I felt just seconds earlier disappears quicker than a strike of lightning. My lungs feel as though they might collapse, but I manage to collect myself long enough to take inventory of our situation. I had no idea she had been pushed to the very edge of the ledge. Her leg is dangling over the side, and nothing but air is under her shoulder. Terror washes over me as I frantically grapple to pull her body into me.
"Peeta!" Katniss gasps my name, clutching and re-clutching at any part of me she can reach. She swings her leg up and over, tangling it in my own. I roll her on top of me and we lie very still, looking into each other's petrified eyes. From below we hear several car doors slam and people yelling.
Katniss tries to sit up, but I can't let go of her. I can't. My terror has superglued my hands to her back and when she tries again I clamp down even harder. My eyes squeeze shut willing us to be anywhere else. Preferably some place on the ground.
"Peeta… too tight," she squeaks out. It's almost impossible to let go, but I manage to release the crushing hold I have around her lungs just enough so she can breathe again. She backs down my body, and normally I would love her face and hands there, but holy hell I'm so terrified for her that I'm still as stone. Not even the slightest breath escapes my lips.
When she gets close to the window, a pair of hands reach out and snatch her in. "Peeta!" she screams for me, and I am forced to watch as her kicking feet are dragged over the window sash.
"Katniss!" I sit up too fast and have to steady myself with one hand on the wall and the other next to me on the twelve inches of ledge space that's left. I can't believe Katniss's body was just there. I hate myself for even agreeing to meet her out here. I should have demanded she come in immediately. Now she could be in even worse danger in our apartment and I'm stuck out here, unable to protect her. Stupid.
The Super's silver-stranded head pops out of the window and he reaches a hand out to me. His steel gray eyes are similar to Katniss's, but lack the glowing warmth I'm so accustomed to seeing in that color.
"She better be okay," I warn him in a tone one might reserve for a known pedophile before I take his offer of help.
"She's better than you are right now," he quips. I'm almost certain he wouldn't hurt her but I'm so on edge, in every sense of the damn word, that I can't think straight.
Katniss's arms welcome me before my feet can hit the floor of the apartment, and I have never been so thankful to feel them. I squeeze her back, pressing kisses to the top of her head and running my hands over every part of her that's appropriate while we have an audience.
"I'm sorry. So sorry." Her voice is muffled into my chest. I'm extremely thankful to be where I am right now, and my lungs finally open up and take in the air I so desperately need.
"What were you doing out there? Do you know you could have gotten yourselves killed?" the Super growls. Oh, I realize it alright. Enough to make some much needed changes in our lives. My thoughts of the future are interrupted by his accusations again.
"Do you realize you caused a five-car accident on the street? Somebody thought they saw someone dangling off one of the ledges. Turns out it was you two." He points two fingers in our direction. I peer at him over Katniss' head. He looks scared and angry. His hands are on his hips and most of his weight is on one leg. He swipes a hand down the entire length of his face before shifting to cross his arms over his chest. He's gruff, and frankly he's been a pain in the ass since Katniss moved in with me over a year ago, so I don't spare him any graciousness.
"Look, we won't do it again, but we wouldn't have been out there if it weren't for the crappy AC I've been asking you about for a month now." I give him a severe look, so he knows this is partially his fault.
"Yeah, alright kid," he concedes with apologetic eyes. "I'll get it taken care of first thing tomorrow." He turns toward the door, pausing after he opens it, using what I imagine is a tone reserved for fatherly lectures. "But don't either of you go out there again, you hear?" I nod my head once before he slams the door behind him. I've never been happier to see someone go, and I scoop Katniss up in my arms and walk us over to the bed, setting her down reverently in the middle of the white duvet.
The emotions that had been sitting just below the surface swell up and over the dam I was hiding them behind.
"I almost lost you," I whimper, burying my face in her neck as I crawl on the bed and lay half on top of her. She holds me tight and tells me she knows, and then how sorry she is again. My hands drift over her like a question - are you okay? The feeling of her velvety skin under my fingertips helps me discern that it's real. I haven't lost her. "I never want to feel like that, or see anything remotely close to what happened out there again." My lips touch hers softly, almost timidly as our kiss from the ledge replays itself in my head. I want to eradicate it completely from my mind. The only way I can do that is with new ones, and I crush her sweet lips with mine in a possessive kiss.
An overwhelming need to show her how much I love her, how much a vital part of my life she is, takes over. "I love you so much, Katniss." I fit the truth in between our kisses as they become deeper and more insistent.
"I love you, too, Peeta." Her words are like breath to a suffocating man. I decorate every inch of her beautiful face with my lips - her chin, her soulful eyes, her adorable nose that scrunches when she's thinking hard. Her forehead that wrinkles perfectly when she's confused. And those lips that scowl when she's angry. God, I love this woman. I need this woman. I don't want to waste a second more without her.
"Katniss." She answers her name on my lips with a moan as I hover over her delicate body, raising her shirt while my cock throbs every time she squirms underneath me, making those sounds I love. I discard the soft fabric someplace over my shoulder. "I want more." She stills, halting my next move to her lips and pulls back slightly to look into my eyes. She searches my face, her smile fading in and out as if she's unsure of what I mean.
"What more do you want?" To anyone else it would sound as if she's given me everything already, that there isn't anything else to give. But I hear the sweet, apprehensive plea of a woman who's been hiding exactly what she wants for fear of losing it - just like me. I would never, ever do to her what her ex did. The jackass. How could someone be so dense? So selfish? So completely foolish? His loss is definitely my gain, and I know better than to ever let her go. I'll fight for Katniss to the very end if I have to.
"I want it all," I tell her, rolling off to the side and tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. Her breath comes out in short bursts and her eyes are wider than they were just seconds ago, but I almost lost her today. I can't wait any longer to tell her how deeply my feelings run. "I want you to marry me. I want to move to the suburbs and buy you a white house with a loft and a dormer window that peeks out over the porch. I want to see you round and glowing with my babies inside you. I want to play with our kids in the perfect green, summer grass of our front yard, and push them so high on the tire swing they squeal and laugh loud enough for the neighbors to hear."
"Peeta-" I silence her with a kiss because right now I can't bear to hear her tell me no. I feel her body relax and melt into the mattress as my tongue slowly catalogs all the dips and crevices of her lips and teeth and tongue. I want to know every square inch of her better today than I did yesterday. And better tomorrow than I do today.
"I love you so much it hurts," I swear to her as my mouth charts an urgent path down her neck and past her collarbone, on its way to her breasts that pillow from the top of her simple cotton bra. My teeth nip at the fabric while Katniss's hands run through my hair, her soft pants making me crazy with want. When I move to unhook her bra, she arches into me, trying to give my hands space to work. I quickly forget what I was doing and groan when I feel her pressed against my hips. I buck into her and we groan together. Damn, I want to skip all this foreplay and dive inside her right this very minute. But that won't do. It won't show her how much I love her. How deeply I care about every inch of her, inside and out, past and future. All of it.
The bra is finally discarded and I cover her soft, quivering mounds with my hands as my lips weave a wet trail down her flat stomach on their hunt for a prize. One of her hands is tugging at my hair while the other is pushing at my shoulder, as if she's confused about where she wants me most. It doesn't matter. This woman could have me six ways to Sunday and I'd never complain.
I dip my tongue into her belly button and she shudders, her hips bucking into my chest. But I reach an impasse when i get to her shorts. Short as they are, they are in my way. I unbutton them swiftly and peel them and her cotton panties down her smooth, toned legs. I concentrate my gaze on her center, which I can see is glistening with her arousal. And it's all for me. Only me, and I want to feast on every last drop of her.
My hands find her feet and slowly run the length of her calves. When I reach her knees I gently separate her thighs, opening her up to me. I steal a glance at her face. Her breath hitches and she watches me with a lustful gaze, her mouth open as if she's waiting to moan. And moan she will. I plan to be sure my name falls from her lips many times tonight, and for the rest of our lives.
"Peeta," she gasps as my fingers make contact with her slick folds. Lowering my face to her center I glide my tongue from her entrance to the top of her clit in one slow motion. I can feel the duvet tightening and her breathing becomes faster in sharp, shallow pants. She opens her legs even wider and raises her hips just enough to let me know she wants me to do it again. Over and over I retrace that path until Katniss is a quivering mess and begging me for, "yes, yeeeeesss, Peeta. More." I flick my tongue back and forth at the very top of her clit, where I know she likes it best. She repeats the words 'don't stop' over and over like a mantra. I know she's so close.
She comes hard, her heels digging into the mattress and her back arching from the bed. I watch her body convulse while my tongue finishes her off. I love seeing her breasts from this angle. The underside is so smooth and her nipples point straight up into the air, as if to say there is a God. And, oh, am I a believer.
The sight has me throbbing in my pants, but I'm not finished with her yet. I insert a finger inside her, seeking out that special spot, rubbing it back and forth, applying gentle pressure. Katniss whimpers and tries to protest that she's too sensitive, but I know better. And seconds later she comes again. The sight is even more erotic than the last, and this time, there's no denying the jealousy of my aching cock as her walls contract around my finger.
I scramble off the bed to strip off every article of clothing I have on, and grab a condom from the bedside drawer.
I've got the package ripped open, about to sheathe myself, when Katniss's hand stops me. I look into her eyes, sated and glowing, and full of affection. My head dips in silent question.
"I don't want anything between us," she says. My heart stops beating for a second, but her shy smile and the meaning behind her words starts me up like I've been reborn. "I want it all, too, Peeta." She pulls me down to her and I climb over the top, settling myself between her legs as she recounts my earlier dream. "I want to move out to the burbs, and give you little blonde children, and watch you play with them in the grass and push them in the swing." My heart could literally burst right now from pure joy, and somehow my cock gets even stiffer, but I need to be sure. The last thing I want is for Katniss to regret her choice from making an emotional decision. And she did almost fall to her death.
"Are you sure?" I ask her. She nods confidently and winds her legs around my waist, urging our centers closer together, The tip of my cock meets her folds and Katniss throws her head back, exposing her neck to me and I waste no time bringing my lips down to her luscious skin as I slowly push into her. Her body was made for me. Her tight walls welcome me, until every inch of me is cocooned in her warmth. I pick up a slow, steady pace, making sure each thrust of my hips is marked with a kiss or a word of love.
Thrust. Kiss to her chin. Thrust. "Beautiful." Thrust. Nip to her ear lobe. Thrust. "Forever." Thrust. Kiss to her temple.
Katniss pulls all my weight on top of her and angles her hips up allowing me to get deep, so deep, inside her. Home. That's all I can think. Katniss Everdeen is home for me. My hips pump more frantically as I near my release, and I feel Katniss's hand snake between us. I look down and see her finger circling her clit and I nearly lose it. I slow my thrusts, making them more shallow, and watch, mesmerized. When I hear her breathy cries and feel her walls begin fluttering around me I pump a few more times before I spill myself into her. I love not having anything between us and it thrills me that my seed is inside her and not inside some piece of rubber. We are part of each other now in every way.
I collapse beside Katniss in exhaustion from the day as well as our love making. She turns into me and immediately I wrap my arms around her and pull her as close as I can. I close my eyes for a moment, part of me questioning how real our confessions of just minutes ago are. When I open them I see Katniss staring at me, and as I look into her eyes, I know she's mine. Forever. Nothing can tear us apart.
Katniss's breathing levels, and before I follow her into sleep, I find myself silently grateful for a stupid ledge. Because without that nudge of fear, I may not have been brave enough to get what I wanted.
HUGE thanks to my fan-girl-friend and most fabulous beta, Burkygirl, who became ambitious and snatched up two of these wonderful prompts. You should read them! Reviews are greatly appreciated, as I didn't get a whole lot of hits on tumblr so now I'm nervous this sucks! Come chat with me there. Same name. :)