Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men or any Marvel character. I make no money from this; this is purely for enjoyment.

Summary: The façade about most relationships is that you only see what people want to portray but it's never that nice or neat. This looks deeper at those relationships and what happens when it all comes crumbling down.

This takes place several years after the end of the series; most of the original X-Men are 20+, so there will be adult themes in this story, along with swearing, infidelity, and death. Warnings will be posted before each chapter when they contain triggering content.

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Path

'Choices'

By therapist

People say that you don't really forget your first love and she was inclined to agree. The new sensation of butterflies when you hear his voice or even a chuckle, how conversations could be about everything and nothing at all, how a slight touch could ignite your skin, better than imagined, she remembered it all. People thought that Remy was her first love but he wasn't, it was Scott. Despite being so different, they had many things in common too. From loving cheesy B-rated horror movies, their mutual hatred of celery, love of mint chocolate chip ice cream, and their biggest connection was their inability to control their powers. With Scott, she could talk about her lack of control, her fear, and anger. He understood and listened; often he would talk about his problems with his powers. There was no pity from him, but understanding and acceptance. Whenever she tried to talk to Remy about her problems, he would counter with a joke but she knew that that sort of talk made him uncomfortable. So, she stopped talking to him about her problems and went to Scott instead. That should've been a signal that things weren't all that great with her and Remy, that maybe they shouldn't be together. Instead of listening, she remained with Remy, while beginning a relationship with Scott. It wasn't a physical relationship (not that she could be physical with anyone), but not all relationships deal with actual touch. She was cheating emotionally on Remy; she felt guilty all the time, but she didn't stop, she didn't want to stop. Despite her best effort, remaining casual with Scott was hard, it was just so easy to fall in love with him.

It was Tuesday, which was their "day" to watch whatever horror movie they could find on Netflix. Remy was off doing whatever he does. Remy didn't enjoy how much time she spent with Scott but Rogue didn't care anymore. That was the state of their relationship. She had complained constantly about Remy flirting with all the women (in the Institute and out in public), especially Jean and extra especially in front of her. Every complaint was brushed off, him saying that it was just for fun. Over time she just stopped asking, her anger turned into indifference. Now whenever he complains about her with Scott, she repeats his words to her.

"It's just for fun," she retorted as he complained when she told him that it was movie day with Scott. She knew it was childish but at that moment, it felt good to throw his words back in his face. Just before she went to the game room to meet with Scott, she saw Remy with Jean, laughing and touching her arm. Jean didn't brush off his arm but leaned in close before they both started a fresh bout of laughter. Rogue knew that show was for her from the side eye she got from Jean. They were never close but their relationship was much worse off. Jean never out rightly stated her displeasure of the amount of time Rogue was spending with Scott but there was coolness in her voice whenever they spoke. Their interactions were kept to a minimum, as they both went out of their way to ignore the other.

But now, she was sitting on the couch, with her knees tucked under her, but the fact that both Remy and Jean hated this had no effect on her. Scott was sitting in front of her on the floor and had picked a movie about a genetically mutated shark and it was horribly good. All the crying laughter had forced her to remove her makeup but she didn't mind being bare in front of Scott. You've never taken your makeup off in front of Remy…That was true, Remy never saw her without some sort of makeup on. Recently, all these sort of comments would speak in her mind, usually comparing Scott to Remy and it was never in a good light. Again, she tried to deny what her head was telling her; she didn't want Remy, she wanted Scott. That sort of thinking was dangerous but she couldn't stop her mind from wandering.

"You're not watching," he remarked from the floor, him still watching the movie.

"And how would ya know Summers? Yar not even turned around!" she commented. She could feel his smirk and he turned to face her. Sure enough, there was a cocky smile gracing his face.

"I was right though, wasn't I?" he countered. She fixed him with a glare, which only widened his smile. Trying to remain firm, she couldn't stop her scowl from changing into a smile. "I'm getting faster."

Her head tilted inquisitively.

"At turning your frown into a smile," he answered.

She tried to wipe her smile off her face but looking at his smiling, adorable face wasn't making it possible. "Shut up Summers and watch tha movie!" Her words were harsh but she made sure to add lots of sass. He laughed, before turning his attention back to the movie. That was another thing she liked about Scott, he didn't get offended with her words like everyone else. He understood her sarcasm and wasn't put off by her sometimes-sharp retorts. Remember that time Remy got all pissy with us when you sassed him? Sometimes she hated how the voice brought up memories she didn't want to relive. That particular memory was quite nasty, leading to their first 'break', though a week later, she had apologized and they ended up back together.

A hand on her leg broke her from her thoughts. "Are you okay Rogue?"

She gave him a soft smile. "Just thinkin' of somethang," she answered.

"Remy?"

She nodded. "Ya, he wasn' too happy with us watchin' tha movie together."

"We can stop, if you want," he offered.

That was such a Scott response and she said so, earning a chuckle from him. "Do ya wanna stop?" she countered after he quieted down.

A venomous headshake was his answer. "I look forward to this all week."

That answer filled her with warmth and elicited a genuine smile. "Good, Ah look forward ta this too."

"Then let it be heard! From henceforth, all subsequent Tuesdays shall be movie nights!" he proclaimed, standing up and posing with hands on his hips.

"Dork," she responded, in between laughs. Scott took a bow and instead of going back to his original spot, he sat next to her. This wasn't anything new, they sat next to each other many times but this was the closest he has been to her. Proximity to other people was something that she was aware of most of the time, with her personal bubble being around a foot. With Scott, she didn't mind when he invaded that bubble. She could feel the heat from his leg as it touched her jeans clad thigh. They watched the rest of the movie, sitting next to each other, Scott enjoying the movie and Rogue enjoying the Scott's closeness.

He was flirting with Jean again, in front of her face. Jean giggled as Remy complemented Jean's short summer dress. It was white, with a smattering of yellow, red, and pink flower and it was beautiful on Jean. Though dresses weren't her thing, she did wish she could wear something beautiful like that sometimes. But you can't, or else someone might die if you do. The flirting along with that reminder set her in a foul mood. After Remy complemented Jean's pristine, long, model-like legs, Rogue had enough and left the kitchen. Wandering around for a while, she ended up in the library. It was quiet and deserted, as it was summertime and most of the other students were outside, on vacation, or just having fun. Most days she wouldn't care about her mutant powers or how much it isolated her but today was not a good day. As a reminder, Jean's laughter echoed through the house and reached her ears. Why are you still with him? She tried to think of a reason but came up empty. Standing there, in the empty library, her heart felt empty too. How could she be with someone, yet feel so alone? Shuffling into a corner as she felt the tears welling into her eyes, she tried hard to hold it back. Another bout of laughter from Jean broke her. A sob tore out of her throat as tears spilled over. After a few minutes, her tears slowed and she wiped her eyes and subsequently, her makeup. Sighing in half irritation and half sadness, she headed back to her room to clean herself up. Luckily, she couldn't hear Jean or Remy as she made her way back to her room.

Fifteen minutes later, she had showered, scrubbed her face clean and was lying in bed, clad in a robe. It was quiet and she wondered again, why she continued to stay with Remy. Granted this is the longest of any sort of relationship for her. They were on month six, she lost count on the breakups, the fights, and the tears; it was a lot of heartache for such a short amount of time. It wasn't just Remy's fault though. She knows she can be difficult, personality wise and on top of that, an out of control mutation prohibiting touch. She was surprised that Remy would stay with her. Like most men, Remy was physical but he wasn't scared to touch her. She, however, was terrified. How could she attempt to try anything physical when there was always some part of her that had to be alert, cautious, and aware of every uncovered portion of skin? Once, she caved to his request and they tried with scarves, she ended up with an unconscious Remy and her exploding everything she touched. Not only that but the Professor had warned her about absorbing too many psyches, she could have another episode like the one that happened when she was in high school. That little warning always came up whenever she began to think about trying anything physical.

A knock on the door broke her from her gloomy thoughts. "Rogue, it's Remy. Yous feelin' ok? Remy saw yous leaving de kitchen in a hurry."

She had a choice, open the door and end their relationship (because she knew that would happen), remain quiet and stuck in the loveless rut they're both trapped in. Catching her reflection in the mirror, and she couldn't help noting how tired she looked and sad. She didn't like being sad.

Getting up, she opened the door and allowed Remy to come inside. She offered him a smile, and he returned it with his signature grin.

"Remy mus' say dat he likes dis robe," he murmured coming close to her, visibly checking her out. Rogue laughed as he tugged on the belt.

"Behave Remy," Rogue scolded, earning a pout from him.

"C'mon Rogue, Remy is dyin' from lack of action. Den he sees yous all sexy like dis, Remy can't ignore dat," he said, his voice getting lower. He was in her personal bubble, close enough where she could feel his hot breath against her cheek. Glancing up at him, his eyes locked with hers and his intense gaze captured her. Mind feeling hazy, she could vaguely feel the belt of her robe being tugged.

Imminent death if you let this continue! Danger! Danger! Besides, I thought you were gonna break up with him! A great sigh escaped her chest and she pulled away from Remy. A hurt look marred Remy's face before it reverted to neutral.

Sitting on the bed, she patted the spot besides her, which he took. "Remy, you know I do care for you-"

"But yous wanna break up wit him," he finished. "Why?"

She dreaded that question, because she wasn't going to hold anything back. "Remy…we got problems. Lots of problems. From mah skin ta you flirtin' with otha girls. Ah'm sad and angry all tha time and Ah don't wanna be anymore!"

"Remy told yous tha flirtin' is jus' fo fun!" Remy countered.

"Fun fo' ya maybe, but not fo' meh!" she exploded, rising to her feet. "How do ya think it makes meh feel when Ah see ya flirting with Kitty or Jean? Ah feel lahke shit Remy, that's how Ah feel!"

He stood up too, his eyes flashing in anger. "Well den maybe yous should take dat advice!"

"What do ya mean Remy?" Rogue hissed, angry that he would turn this back around on her.

"Oh Scott, yar so funny! I love spendin' time with ya Scott," he mocked, his voice mimicking hers. "All de time Rogue, and Remy sees it along wit everyone else!"

Anger coursed through her, along with shame. Remy was right but she didn't want to admit that fact. "Remy Ah told ya, that me an' Scott are jus' friends!"

"Well dat don' seem like it ta Remy! Always gigglin' whenever he talks, followin' him around like a damn dog! It's pathetic Rogue! An' Scott is never gonna be wit yous, he wit Jean and he would never-"

"Leave her for someone lahke meh, right?" she finished. His words shattered her, and she could feel the imminent onslaught of tears coming. "Ah know Remy, Ah know. It's ova, please leave," she said flatly, pointing toward the door.

She could see the regret in his eyes but they didn't diminish the hurt that his words had caused. "Rogue, I…"

"Ah don' care Remy, get out!" she ended the last part yelling, as tears welled in her eyes. "Please, Ah can't let ya see meh lahke this…"

He gave a resigned sigh and then left. The tears burst forth once she was alone. Deep, body-wracking sobs shook her. She couldn't tell it was because of the breakup or because Remy was right. Maybe it was a little bit of both.

Someone pounded on her door, waking her up. It was dark now, and even though she must've slept for hours, she was still tired. A dull ache made her head throb but it paled in comparison to the hollowness that filled her body.

"Hey Stripes! The Professor said that ya need to go to the med bay," Logan called from the other side of the door.

"Ok, let meh get dressed!" she shouted back. She grabbed a pair of black skinny jeans and a black long sleeved shirt, quickly throwing them on. Catching her reflection in the mirror, she noted her red, puffy eyes and the hollowness in them. Putting some eye drops in her eyes, she put on black eyeliner after wiping the excess liquid and opened the door.

Logan stood there, clad in his usual white shirt and jeans. He gave her a sniff and asked if she was okay.

Sometimes she hated how keen his senses were and she gave him a scowl. "Ah'm fahne Logan, jus' had a rough day."

Unconvinced, Logan shrugged and began walking. The house was quiet still; she suspected that it was late. "Hank is gonna meet you at the med bay," he stated.

"Why do they want meh?" she asked.

Logan shrugged. "Wasn't told, only told ta get ya. Before ya go, you know ya talk to me about anything right Stripes?"

Regardless of the pain she was feeling, she offered Logan a rare smile. Danger room sessions were still painful and he was crass and has absolutely no tact but Rogue liked Logan. There was no bullshit with him and he always seemed to know when she needed someone to talk (or in Logan's case, sit in silence while drinking a beer) to or an extra danger room session, where they just destroy legions of robots. "Thank ya Logan, maybe after Ah talk ta tha Professor."

He answered with a grunt before heading off to do his rounds. Rogue headed toward the med bay, curious about why they wanted to see her. It wasn't because of her physical; she had that several months ago. She couldn't think of why they would call her down, she had no dealings with Hank or Jean so it wasn't like she had any sort of business down there. Finally arriving at the med bay, Hank greeted her as soon as the elevator doors opened. She returned his greeting with a smile and asked Hank why she was called down.

"Before I explain my dear, we need to take some vitals," Hank explained, gesturing to the empty chair by the hospital bed. Simply going along with Hank, she took a seat. Hank proceeded to take her temperature, blood pressure, checked her eyes and ear, collected a blood sample, and gave her a questionnaire to fill out.

"Again Hank? Ah already filled one of these out during mah last physical," she complained. She didn't like filling out these forms, as many of the questions asked were private and intrusive. Hank didn't answer but gave her that same placating smile that he always gives. Signing in resignation she begin filling out the paperwork, writing in answers, and checking off boxes. It was the same as the previous form she filled out except when she got to the end, where it asked her about her past history, including drug use and sexual history. At this portion she stopped, pointed at the offending questions.

"Seriously Hank, are ya seriously askin' meh these questions. Are these questions really necessary?"

A heavy sigh escaped Hank's lips. The doctor looked tired and Rogue felt a pang for being a pain. "I know it may seem a bit intrusive but…I…guess we must tell you. I have several promising hypotheses about your powers but I need to obtain as much information as I can, including your past before we can conduct any sort of experiment or testing. The questions can be quite intimate but nothing you write will be shared, not even with the Professor, unless you give me permission."

Hearing his explanation, it was unexpected. Besides surprise, she felt something she hadn't in a long time and that was hope. The Professor had promised to help her with her powers but with everything that had happened, it got pushed aside (as it should have). Eventually, she kind of forgot about the Professor's promise but hearing Hank admit that he was going to try to help her made her unbelievably happy and grateful. She thought she was out of tears from the events that happened earlier, but her body produced a few errant droplets.

Hastily wiping them, she tried to smile, to convey how she felt. "Ah…don't know wha ta say Hank…except thanks," she confessed, voice quivering. "May Ah give ya a hug?"

The blue mutant chuckled before spreading his arms open. Rogue practically dove into his arms, and placed her face against his lab coat. Arms encircled her waist, his fur tickled whatever skin it could touch, but she relished it. Rogue was glad to have such a great friends…no…family by her side. She released him first and repeated thanks before heading back to finish her forms.

The first question was about past drug usage. Thinking hard, she listed what she had tried: marijuana, ecstasy (only once), and cocaine (only once). Just writing it down, she felt her cheeks flush in shame. But remembering Hank's promise of confidentiality made her feel better. Next was sexual history but that was easy, none whatsoever. Now thinking about it, she never went beyond that first kiss with Cody and what she attempted with Remy. Before getting sad about her lack of sex life, she tackled the third portion. Her past and her family's past…there wasn't much that she remembered about her birth parents, and Irene never talked about them.

"Done!" she remarked, handing Hank the clipboard. To Hank's credit, he face didn't change at her admission to drug use or the portion about her sex life.

"You don't remember anything about your birth parents Rogue?" Hank questioned, finally looking up at her. "The answer to your problem could come from there."

"Ah don' even remembah a time before Irene takin' care of meh. And anytime Ah asked her about them, she would change tha subject or refuse ta answer tha question."

"Hmm, I'll see if I can find your adoption papers. Or you could try to work with the Professor in uncovering your past and maybe we can find a name," he suggested.

Not eager to have the Professor poke around in her mind, she picked the first option.

"If we can't find anything, we could ask the Professor to help," Hank stated. "Thank you Rogue, for all of this information. I'll send for you once we start testing."

Rogue bade Hank goodnight and headed upstairs. Too amped to sleep, plus a little hungry, she found herself in the kitchen. Making herself a sandwich, she sat on the island after grabbing the chips and her drink. As she bit into her sandwich, she thought about what just happened. Taking off a glove, she gazed at her hand. She had made peace with the fact that she would never be able to touch anyone. To have that hope again…she didn't know how to feel. On one hand, she wanted to feel excited, even happy for herself. On the other, she didn't want to get her hopes up because more often than not, her hopes and dreams were not attainable.

"Rogue? What are you doing up so late?" Scott asked, yawning as he came into the kitchen. "And why did you skip dinner?"

She scrambled to pull on her glove, just as Scott takes a seat next to her. "Jus' came from seein' Hank and Ah was hungry so Ah made myself a sandwich."

"And why did you miss dinner?"

She heaved a sigh, wondering whether to tell him what happened earlier. Remembering Remy's words, her chest tightened in pain. But stronger than the pain was the anger. "Ah broke up with Remy."

"I'm so sorry Rogue."

"It's okay Scott, it was fo' tha best. Me an Remy weren't a good match," she replied honestly. "Ah fell asleep afta that."

His hard covered her gloved one, giving it a squeeze. That was another thing she liked about Scott, he didn't shy away from her. "You can talk to me Rogue whenever you want, I will always be there to listen."

Giving him a small smile, she did an internal happy dance when he left his hand on top of hers. "Thank ya Scott, yar a good friend. Ah'll be okay in time. Besides, Ah got a lot of stuff happenin' in mah life, stuff to keep me busy." Taking her hand back, she busied herself by snacking on some chips

"Why did Hank want to see you?" Scott asked, stealing the chip from her hand and eating it.

"Hands off Summers! This is mah snack," she commented, trying to grab the chip back.

Laughing at her as he licked the chip, he offered the tainted snack back. "Here you go."

"Think that scares meh? Ah lived in the Brotherhood house fo' months with Toad," Rogue stated, grabbing the chip and shoving it in her mouth. "Ah told ya, this is mah snack."

"You're gonna eat the entire Costco size bag of salt and vinegar chips? I doubt you can finish that sandwich!"

Glaring at him, she grabbed the sandwich and polished it off in three bites. After swallowing, she grabbed the chips and cradled it to her chest. "Fahne, Ah'll share some wit' ya."

"So why did Hank want to see you?" he questioned again, while shoving chips into his mouth. "Are you not feeling good?"

Sometimes she hated how persistent he was, and couldn't help sighing again. "Hank is tryin' to help meh, with mah powers." Even though she was going to keep the information to herself, she knew talking to Scott about her problems made her feel better.

"That's awesome news Rogue! But why do you look like someone kicked your puppy?"

"Ah know; it's great news. Ah guess Ah'm scared ta believe that it can happen, especially when Ah've dreamed of it fo' so long. Hope isn't somethang Ah felt in a long time."

"I know the feeling Rogue. When I first got my powers and destroyed everything every time my eyes opened, I had given up hope that I'll ever be able to see again. Even after the Professor explained how my powers worked and how he could help me, I was still wary to give myself that hope." Turning to look at her, he offered a kind smile. "It's okay to feel hope Rogue. I know you'll learn to control your powers one day."

"How do ya know what ta say, every time Ah'm feelin' down? Yar amazing Scott."

Even in the dim light, she could see him blush at her words. "You are too Rogue."

His words made her swell with emotion. Feeling those tears run up again, she turned to throw away her trash. While his words did make her happy, there will always be a lingering pain too. The pain of loving someone that could never love you back. The pain of competing against someone perfect, like Jean. And compared to her, and knowing she would lose every single time. The pain of knowing that despite everything, she couldn't stop herself. She couldn't separate herself from Scott.

"Thank ya Scott fo' yar words, Ah always feel better after talking to you." A partial truth, she would initially feel floating and happy, before reality worked its cruel magic and send her back to reality. And that reality was that Remy's words were true. Scott had Jean, he was happy with Jean, and she was trying to ruin that for him. I am a horrible person… She could feel herself tearing up again, and she pounded the counter in anger and frustration.

"Rogue! What's wrong?" Scott questioned after her sudden display of anger.

Glad to have her back facing him, she willed her tears to stop. Once in control, she took a deep breath. "Ah'm jus' tired Scott, it's been a long day. Thank ya for tha advice," she replied evenly.

She left the perplexed Scott and headed to her room. Once inside the safety of her room, she released a sigh. A storm of emotions was swirling around within her and she didn't know how to feel. It was a whirlwind of a day and she could feel the exhaustion creeping back. Falling into her bed, she gazed at the white ceiling. Before sleep took her, she thought of being able to touch again, being able to kiss someone, and maybe even fall in love.

Author's Note: I've wanted to write a Scott/Rogue story for a while, and I've been sitting on this idea for a while. As for the final pairings, I haven't decided which pairing to pick (I'm a sucker for Rogue/Remy but I also like non-canon pairings such as Rogue/Scott). The next chapter is halfway done, so I hope to get it up soon.

Leave your comments/thoughts/complaints in a review and thank you for reading

therapist