a/n: another songfic and request story with a hidden drabble! (the LAST missing drabble) Three birds and one stone! Haha
Dedicated to shadowangel5 (for reminding me how beautiful this song is)
Watch my life; Pass me by, in the rear view mirror
Pictures frozen in time are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day stuck in the shadow of my mistakes
Damon let his head fall back against the tree trunk and looked up at the moon. It wasn't quite full, another three days and he would have to be on the lookout for Tyler and any other werewolf or hybrid that happened to come to town in the next few days. No doubt, the trouble of Mystic Falls was far from over. Tonight though, he was going to relax and take some time for himself. If Ric burst through the door with a new discovery, he would just have to wait until Damon decided to come home. If Elena wanted to talk to him, mess with his mind some more and tease him into thinking they had a chance, she would have to just sit there and pout until he'd gained enough strength to deal with her.
Damon closed his eyes for a moment and tried to clear his mind. He didn't want to think about the night he'd slept with Rebekah, the jealous look in Elena's eyes that had reassured him for a split second before he remembered the words she'd said to him. He didn't want to think about how badly she'd hurt him, how badly he'd wanted her to just love him. He just wanted some peace for a few minutes, and as the darkness of night began to seep into his mind, he heard the footsteps of someone approaching.
He knew it was her before he even turned his head, from the familiar beat of her heart to the scent she seemed to carry with her solely to torture him. "Hello Elena," he drawled refusing to get up. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"
Cause I want you, And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken, And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me
Elena stopped dead her tracks, holding her breath. He couldn't believe she'd actually considered the possibility of sneaking up on him. "I came to find you."
"Well, you found me." He still didn't turn around, knowing that she would come closer, wishing that she would disappear.
"Can you please come back to the house?" her tone was near begging, but he ignored the pull to listen to her. He wanted her, needed her but he would not give into her.
She was under his skin enough as it was, plaguing all his thoughts and dreams. There was no need to show her just how badly whipped he was. "No."
He heard the skip in the beat of her heart and wondered what she was even doing here. "Please."
He mentally poked at the shards his heart remained in…yep, still broken. "No."
She sighed and came forward, surprising him by crouching down in front of him, resting her hands on his knees. "You're mad at me."
"You think!" he hadn't meant to sound so pissed, but the words had come out to quickly to stop the tone. He was torn, half a man before her, but there was still something inside him that wanted to give her everything he could. Everything and anything that was left of him to give.
I've been dying inside, Little by little,
No where to go, But going out of my mind
In endless circles, Running from my self until,
You gave me a reason for standing still
Elena's hands felt warm, even through the fabric of his jeans and he found himself looking up into her eyes. They were warm, the color of milk chocolate at the moment and he felt like drowning in them. Every moment he spent without her felt like he was dying, little by little each day, so why not die with her here, now. At least then she could see the pain, see what she inflicted on the world—on him. He knew that he couldn't leave town, no; he'd tried that. The car had never gotten out of the garage. He had to stay here, had to protect her, love her. It felt like an endless circle he was stuck in, unable to run from it, the pain, the love. It would mean running from himself and over a hundred years on this earth had taught him that running wasn't the option.
Elena had given him a reason to stay, to be still…but if she didn't give him anymore he wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to stand this pain.
Cause I want you, And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken, And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me
Damon saw the determination in her eyes, felt the slight guilt he always felt for lashing out at her and let his head drop. He couldn't bare to look at her, not when he wanted her this badly. He could feel every inch of her skin as her hands rested on his knees, then every fiber of energy in her fingertips when she brushed them against his cheek, bringing his face back to hers. He felt the familiar hunger, the burning to take her, to love her, to show her what it would be like to be shown true devotion, but the strength he needed was fading and he stayed just sitting there, letting her break a little more of him down. Letting her touch give him the hope that would only send him crashing back to earth when he realized she'd only been playing the game, the game she'd nearly perfected.
Katherine hadn't even been this good at it.
It's falling faster, Barely breathing,
Give me something, To believe in
Tell me: It's not all in my head
Damon knew he had to say something, break the connection that was currently holding them frozen in place, but he couldn't stand to open his mouth. The sick realization that he needed this hit him square in the chest and he felt ridiculous. He would let her continue to screw with him until she got bored, he just loved her that much. How pathetic.
Take what's left of this man
Make me whole….Once again
Elena stood then, completely silent and he knew it had been coming. She would leave him, here in the woods to think about all the different ways he could have had her. Wonder if a thousand different possibilities in words could have stopped her, made her realize the truth for both of them. It took him a moment to realize that she was holding out her hand to him. He looked at it blankly for a minute, taking it only when she wiggled her fingers impatiently. The look in her eyes was calm, comforting and he took the chance, knowing full well this could destroy him or make him whole once again.
Cause I want you, And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Damon let her pull him through the trees in silence, knowing they were only a few miles from the house. He'd wanted to run, go further into the woods where no one could find him, but something had stopped him, something that wanted him to be found, needed to be found by her. He let her lead him, almost blindly, not caring where she took him but praying all the same that she wouldn't just abandon him once they got there. The bright lights of the house began to appear through the thinning tree line and he heard the rate of her heart pick up. He found it curious that she would seem to be so affected, but she was. She was almost terrified of something, he could tell from the way she gripped his hand.
Now I'm broken, And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me
Elena went straight to the house, straight through the open doorway, not stopping until they were at the end of the staircase. He could sense now that she'd gone into full panic. Her hands had gone cold, the color almost washed from her face and she stepped closer, unable to be indifferent any longer. Was it possible that she needed him just as badly as he needed her? Was it possible that she was finally realizing it? A quick survey of the house with his senses told him that they were alone, and he stepped closer, his hand going to her neck, his fingers tangling in her hair. "What is it Elena?"
I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind…Out of my mind
I'm just running in circles all the time
Will you take what's left Will you take what's left Will you take what's left of me?
Just running in circles in my mind
Damon swallowed the thick lump in his throat, forced away the sick feeling of fear and cradled her head in his hands. He let his thumb brush the side of her cheek, relieved that at least she wasn't crying. "I hurt you, so badly." She whispered, forcing herself to look at him, face him. "I don't know how you'll ever forgive me."
He knew just how weak it would be to give into her, but here she was offering herself to him. He would regret it for the rest of eternity if he turned her away now. "Promise that you will spend the rest of your life making it up to me."
She nodded, her arms going around his neck, her legs around his waist. He let the momentary flash of disbelief wash over him before he kissed back. Instinct and adrenaline had him rushing them upstairs, depositing her on his bed a moment later. He'd imagined a hundred different scenarios for this, but never before had had imagined Elena would be like this. Her fingers tore at buttons on his shirt, only to slowly smooth her hands over his skin. Her teeth nipped furiously at his lips when he stopped kissing her for a moment trying to undo her jeans, then she kissed the sting away. He felt his insides burning as he undressed her, surprised when she undid his belt and shimmed his jeans down his hips.
Quickly she wrapped her legs around his bare body and tugged him onto the bed over her, arching her back up so that her breasts pushed up against his chest. Every inch of her skin was silky, and as he soon discovered tasty.
Will you take what's left Will you take what's left Will you take what's left of me?
He was sure that he'd kissed every inch of her skin by the time she was squirming and crying for him. He knew that crossing this line, the last line they had left would change everything about them, about him. He didn't think he would be able to put himself back together after this if she simply walked away again. He was giving himself to her, hoping that she would take what was left of him and not crush it. Katherine had done a number on him, Rose and Andie's deaths had affected him more than he cared to admit, but Elena was the final straw for him. Either this was it, or there was nothing else for him. He hadn't realized he'd said that out loud until she held him close, kissing him gently. He felt their bodies join, felt the final pieces of the puzzle that was his life fit together.
"I'm not leaving you." She promised, moving her body with his.
He kissed her then, hard and almost desperate, the force of his lips holding her against the pillows as if he was afraid she would disappear if he let her go. Then the first moan slipped from her lips, and he heard his name behind it. The fear he'd been letting control everything slipped away and he simply lived in the moment, let himself relax and be with her. He'd never felt anything more incredible, never felt so loved before. She held him, kissed him, moved with him. They weren't quite one, but they weren't two either. He realized then, that Elena had hardly been a whole person either. When he found her she'd been a high school sophomore, completely blind to the world he belonged to.
Her parents death had left her shattered, but in his own way he'd brought her back to reality- albeit a twisted sense of reality- just as she had saved him from himself. They weren't whole on their own, but together they survive. And they would continue to do so now, now that he had her and she had him. They came together a few moments later, calling the others name and kissing desperately. She hadn't meant to, but she'd fallen asleep soon after he'd rolled off her and pulled the sheet over them. She didn't hear him whisper he loved her, but she didn't need to. She knew, just as clearly as he knew she loved him right back.
a/n: hardly my best work, but I think the song is really beautiful and fits Delena well. Now that all the drabbles are posted into fics or chapters of my projects, I am faced with two options…let it be like that or continue my drabble series. Votes and opinions on that and this fic?