As You Are

Disclaimer – I don't own Fire Emblem. Nintendo and Intelligent Systems do.

A/N – Welcome! This is my first Fire Emblem fic and it stars Serra and Dorcas – two of the less popular characters, but who were key members of my Fire Emblem troop. Serra was always my chief healer and Dorcas, my best warrior bar Florina. Nothing could withstand the unstoppable might of his axe! - Anyway, it takes place during Lyn's storyline. It's doesn't matter exactly when, but it's after most of the characters have joined and may contain a few, relatively light, spoilers for the game. Please feel free to say what you think. All comments are very much appreciated, even criticism.

Incidentally the title is also the name of a Travis song, which I didn't originally intend but it seemed to fit. Good song actually. Hell, that whole album's great. -

Please enjoy.

It had been a hard day's walk. Ever since dawn, they'd been trudging up and down an endless crop of hills underneath a merciless summer sun. It had been a punishing schedule, necessary to make up lost time from yesterday's battle, and over the course of the day, morale had plummeted like a pheasant in the hunting season. So when Lyn finally announced it was time to stop and make camp, the euphoric cheer from her troops came as no surprise at all.

Camp was quickly set up and the companions set about relaxing themselves and resting the aching feet (or rear ends in the cases of Kent, Sain and Rath, the horsemen). Dorcas chose this opportunity to sharpen his favourite axe. It didn't need it, but he was a man who enjoyed a task and bored quickly when none was available. It gave him something purposeful to do while he enjoyed the cool summer breeze, the fading daylight sky and the cheerful singsong of the crickets.

He enjoyed beautiful evenings like this one. It reminded him of many summer nights past, when he and Natalie would just sit out on their porch together and look up at the stars, so ever prominent in the unspoilt sky. They would stay in each others arms for hours, just talking to one another. They would start with simple things, such as their respective days just gone by. Then over the course of the evening, the conversation would become deeper and deeper and they would discuss the future or their feelings about anything, especially each other. Those were the only times when stoic Dorcas would set his emotions free and because of that, they were the times when his Nathalie was the happiest. He remembered how her sparkling laugh came when he made a funny comment and how sometimes she would shed tears of joy, simply because it was such a wonderful evening and she was sharing it with the man she loved. And then, as the hours became small, he would carry her to bed and they would bring the love in their hearts to a more physical level.

Yes, evenings like this made life worth living, Dorcas mused. If he'd had his wife in one hand and a cold glass of beer in the other right now, this evening would have been heaven on earth.

For now though, he'd have to make do with his present company. They weren't his wife, but they were the next best thing, those friends of his. Group Leader Lyn and Davidos, their tactician, were crouched, as ever, over their map of the land, pondering tomorrow's agenda. Nils was helping out by holding a torch to give them light. By the campfire Erk, Wil and Mathew were playing a game of cards (by the looks of things Mathew was tapping the other two dry, no doubt though foul means). Most of the others were in their tents resting up, though he did see Serra walking off by herself into the wood beside the camp. Probably to do some 'private business' Dorcas decided, deliberately turning his head from her with a twitch of embarrassment.

He went back to sharpening his pride and joy and soon a little voice interrupted his labour.

"Um…"

He looked up from his work to see Florina, standing before him wringing her hands nervously. She stared fixedly down at her feet refusing to meet his eyes. "Um," she repeated timidly.

"Yes?" he asked her. His voice came out gruff, though he didn't mean it to.

"Um, excuse me," the little Pegasus knight said in what barely qualified as a whisper. "You haven't seen Serra have you? Lyn asked me to find her. She and Sain are meant to be cooking tonight."

Dorcas nodded his head towards to the trees. "She went in there just now."

"Oh. I see," Florina said, looking over. "Then I'll wait for her to come back. Thank you,"

"I'll send her over when I see her," Dorcas assured her.

"Thank you…" Florina peeped before scuttling away like a frightened rabbit. Dorcas watched her go with a frown. Even after all their travels together, Florina still feared men. Others found her shyness endearing, but it just frustrated him that she couldn't relax in male company. He sincerely hoped she'd learn how to before she became an old lonely maid.

As he'd promised her, he kept an eye on the wood for any sign of their spunky pink-haired healer. However, even after several minutes had passed she still hadn't come out. Dorcas glanced over the camp to see if she'd returned under his nose, but no, she wasn't there either. She was still out and about then? How strange.

For a horrible moment he wondered if she'd been attacked while away from the group. It didn't seem likely – the wood was tiny so they would have heard any serious scuffle, especially since there was no way Serra would have been quiet under threat. Plus they'd checked it thoroughly for signs of life before setting up camp as a precaution, but had found nothing but a few chipmunks and a menacing looking pinecone. Her absence was still suspicious though, so Dorcas hefted his axe onto his shoulder and headed over to investigate.

He trod cautiously through the black oaks, making very little sound for a man of his size. His muffled footsteps were the only sound, aside from one hooting owl and the distant noise from their camp. If he hadn't known better, he would have sworn this wood was deserted. He was too proud to call out her name, so instead he hunted her with stealth and sharp eyes. After all, if she was still conducting her 'private business' he'd want to see her first so he could make a quick and quiet retreat.

"Where is she?" he thought as he wandered along. "Is she even here? I certainly hope she hasn't been kidnapped. I'm in no mood to go chasing after anyone right now."

That's when he heard it. The rapid snuffling of a person weeping, ever so clear in the quiet of the dark wood. Dorcas immediately strode in its direction to investigate.

The sound brought him out the other side of the wood to the top of a steep rock face, where, to his utmost relief, he found Serra. The pink-haired cleric was sitting by herself on a flat boulder, looking out over the endless grassy plains before her. For a moment though he didn't think it was her, for the miserable expression on her face certainly didn't belong to the Serra they knew.

Yes. It was beyond belief.

Serra's smile had been broken

Ever-cheerful Serra was crying.

The sight caught Dorcas off guard and he instinctively stepped back. What kind of crazy happening could make their Serra so upset? The young cleric was always so bouncy, so positive come rain or shine. She wasn't meant to be the one who needed cheering up, she was meant to be the one they needed to cheer them up! So when the group's designated smiley person was found with her face in her hands, it was a rare and serious situation that needed to be resolved.

Dorcas swallowed nervously. This was really more the territory of Lyn or Lucius, dealing with people problems. He was more of the workhorse. Point his axe in the right direction and he was happy. He was never a graceful speaker at the best of times and dealing with a weeping woman certainly didn't rank in his list of special skills.

All the same it felt wrong to leave her alone in this state, even for a few moments. A side of him wanted to take the easy route out, to return to the camp and pretend that he'd hadn't found her and seen her crying. But his other side, the infuriatingly compassionate side, wanted to help her out. That side won, just like it always did.

He walked out into the open.

"Miss Serra," he said, announcing his presence so he wouldn't startle her.

Serra's head shot up. Her hands wiped her eyes as a reflex, smearing the tears all over her face. While sadness was predominant on her face, a touch of disbelief was there too. Dorcas clearly wasn't the person she'd expected to come after her.

"Oh Dorcas," she mumbled, trying to put on a composed façade. "What's up?"

He didn't reply at first, instead walking over to stand beside her and to look out at the view this vantage point gave them. It was easier than looking straight at the upset girl. "You're crying," he said simply.

Serra looked away from him, but didn't deny it. "Yeah-huh."

"Is something the matter?"

"What do you think? I wouldn't be sitting here crying for no reason now, would I?"

He didn't let her petulance get to him. "So what is it?" he asked.

She blew her nose before taking a breath and blurting, "It…it…it's ERK!"

Ah, the purple-haired mage and Serra's unrequited friend. Made sense that she'd be upset over him, if anyone. "So what's he done?" Dorcas asked.

Upset as she was, she could only talk between gasps. "He…he called me a real nuisance! In front of everyone!"

"Is that all?" Dorcas murmured, not impressed. He'd actually been present when that had happened earlier today. She'd taken it well enough at the time, by his recollection.

"Not that's not all!" Serra wailed, shaking her head hard enough for her ponytails to whip her cheeks. "I figured he was just joking so I sought him out later to set the record straight. And I thought it would funny to surprise him, so I crept up behind him. But as I did, I heard him talking with the other boys. He said he was getting really tired of my attitude. Wil agreed and said I was the most annoying person he'd ever met. And that Matthew, do you know what he said? He said he'd sooner eat a cowpat than look at my smile again! He actually said that! A gross stinking cowpat rather than my smile! Can you believe it?"

"Well, you're not smiling now," Dorcas said, quite unnecessarily.

"They're such mean boys," Serra sniffed into the back of her hand. "They're mean, mean, mean!"

"It was mean to talk of you that way behind your back," he admitted. Gentlemen that he was, he would never have dreamed of speaking ill of a lady, even out of her earshot.

Serra sighed and huddled her knees to her chest. "But I guess they're right in the end. I am annoying aren't I? I'm nothing more than a useless ditz who talks everyone's ear off and is only good to have around when someone needs a paper-cut healed. It's no wonder they don't like me."

Dorcas face was still set gruffly, hiding his discomfort. "You shouldn't overreact," he muttered. "A few people's opinions shouldn't bother you that much."

"It's not just them though. No-one likes me," she sniffled.

"You know that's not true," he stated flatly. He could only humour her self-pity up to a point.

"Oh really?" Serra said, her face suddenly hardening into that of an interrogator. "Then let me ask you this Dorcas. Does my attitude bother you? And be honest. Don't spare my feelings or anything."

Dorcas paused fatally, caught in between truth and tact. "….no," he replied feebly.

Serra looked away from him, shaking her head in slow sorrow. "You're a very poor liar Dorcas. I can tell you agree with them, it's written all over you."

Caught out, Dorcas confessed. "Sometimes you can grate a little on the nerves. But I mean that in the nicest possible sense," he added quickly.

"Oh PUL-lease Dorcas! Say what you really mean! You can't stand me, just like everyone else, that's what you want to say!" She threw her head back, showering fresh tears into the air, and yelled, "The world hates me!"

Dorcas found himself backing away from her at this outburst. You really should have left this to Lyn, he told himself. She would have saved the situation by now, not made it worse like he had. But it was too late now. In this state, there was no way he could leave her alone. He clenched his teeth in desperation. He could deal with enemy warriors from dawn to dusk, but an emotional woman was a whole world more difficult. What could he do for her?

"I don't want to be someone that everyone hates," she blubbered, dabbing her flooded eyes pathetically. "I want everyone to love me. That's not too much to ask, is it?"

"You can only be yourself Serra," he said quietly, unsure of what else he could say. "You can't change who you are, just to make people like you."

To his surprise, that brought an instant reaction from Serra. Her head snapped up and at him, eyes distant in wonder. Her mouth dropped open in awe, but then spoke decisively.

"That's it! You're a genius Dorcas!" Though her eyes were still red and seeping, a trace of impish manner had returned to her. "They don't like my cheerful nature? Well, that's fine. I'll just have to change who I am!"

"What do you mean by that?" Dorcas asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

Serra smiled, the first smile he'd seen from her this evening. "It's simple. They don't like Serra, so let's be rid of her! And in her place we'll have someone else, someone who's a misery guts just like them. That's it. I'll become the anti-me! My complete opposite. No more will I be Serra the cheerful cleric, I am now Arres the gloomy gus!"

"Ahr…rez?" he inquired.

"Yes, Arres! Serra reversed! That way, everyone will be happier and no-one will be chowing down on cowpats!" she said rubbing her hands with gleeful anticipation.

"Serra…"

"Ah ah ah!" she chided him with a wagging finger. "It's Arres now."

He didn't humour her. "Serra, what you're thinking of doing is madness."

"No it's not, it's my ticket to popularity! Hey, wait a moment," she said with a thoughtful finger on her lip. "Arres isn't that nice to people," Her eyes narrowed and her face shrivelled up as she forced a frown so untypical of her. "Mind your own business, jerk!"

Dorcas couldn't help but cringe. Evil did not look good on Miss Serra. She kept her scowl on him though as she stood up from her rock. "Now if you'll excuse me you muscle-brained dolt, I have a meal to prepare," Turning her back on him, she strode away, nose haughtily in the air. Dorcas's eyes squirmed anxiously in their sockets as he watched her go.

"She's not even joking. She's fully intent on becoming someone else," he sighed in his mind. He began to follow her back to camp, slowly, for he knew there was nothing more he could say right now to change her mind. Whether she was Serra or Arres now, she was still as determined as ever. Only now that determination wasn't channelled into a positive spirit and released harmlessly through silly banter and giggles, it would now be a malevolent weapon in the hands of a very confused young woman. Dorcas sighed with true regret. God help the rest of the party when the anti-Serra, this Arres, was unleashed on them.