Dear FanFic-ers, time for a non serious Ashes to Ashes creation. Do not read this story if you are one of those 'over-serious' fanfic-ers, if you have no sense of humour and if you don't support gay marriage. I did warn you all in advance.

Anyway those people up for a laugh, I hope you enjoy this little one-shot (:

Concept by Laura, written and composed by Hannah and Laura.

oh, and it switches between Louis and Gene's point of view.. but it should be easy enough to pick up and follow (: ENJOY!

It was a beautiful sunny morning of which Gene's day had finally come, the day he could marry the love of his life Louis Walsh. They'd met only months prior in a gay bar where Gene was working undercover, but he knew he was the one. He was such a gentle lover and his Irish accent sent shivers down Gene's back every time he spoke.

Louis got up early, looking out towards the fresh day, nervous but excited, the day had come he was getting married. When he went to the club that night he didn't expect to meet anyone, let alone a Manc lion figure, he never thought he would see that sort of a man in there. When he was with Gene he felt safe, knowing he was protected and there was someone to care for him.

Not wanting anything to ruin their special day, Gene did not wish to tempt fate so retreated to his best friend Alex's house the previous night and agreed not to meet Louis until they united at the chapel. Alex had been so supportive through Gene's 'coming out' process and admired his new settled down state. In fact, they hardly squabbled anymore and now had mutual respect for each other – Gene felt so lucky to have a friend in her.

'Come on Guv! It's time! It's your big day! Get out of bed!'

Feeling like a young child, Gene hopped out of bed as he heard Alex's voice from the other end of her flat and gazed out of the window. The sun was shining, birds were singing, this was everything he wanted.

In agreement, Louis stayed at their friends flat and they never said a bad word about it; mainly because they knew Gene would hit them if they respected their decision, and he was one shit-scary fella. Although this did mean many of the public would slate them and it had become harder for Gene to do his job, he never moaned though and that's what Louis admired.

He had the butterfly feeling in his stomach whilst he was getting ready, he wanted to look perfect at the same time realising it was all becoming real, the day he'd been longing for, for years and it was going to be perfect.

If there was one thing Gene was worried about, it was the guests Louis had invited along to their big day. He respected the fact that Louis had a lot of love for Jedward, and even Gene had learned to treat them like sons, but the fact that they were the ring-bearers scared him. They could hardly string a sentence together in English let alone have the responsibility of looking after two very expensive, limited edition Marks & Spencer's rings. And to be honest, Gene had never been a Westlife fan either, and the thought of them as choir boys made him physically sick.

Although his family could not make it there, the likes of Jedward, Westlife, Gok Wan and Dannii Minogue. Even though he didn't really like the Geordie lass much, Cheryl Cole was invited, along with the pervert that was Wagner. Louis' all time bestie Sharon Osbourne also flew in for the wedding. Boyzone and Simon Cowell were meant to be coming but incidents had gone on and they were uninvited. He was confident it would be the best day in his life even though 'Hello' magazine turned down their wedding. He'd found a beautiful suit to wear from George at Asda, with a little pink bow tie and a top hat, he tried it on and looked in the mirror and thought this is the one Gok Wan would be proud of.

Before Gene knew it, it was 12 o'clock and the bright pink horse & carriage pulled up outside Alex's flat. Alex (as his bridesmaid) was wearing a gorgeous pink Cinderella style dress – anyone would have thought it was her wedding, but Gene had picked it out for her and knew she'd look gorgeous in it. As soon as he had seen this dress on Katie Price's ITV2 documentary (the one where she married the ugly man), he knew it would be perfect for his Alex. Gene himself had opted for a black suit and waistcoat with his trousers cut slightly short to show off his pale pink socks which matched his tie. Alex had a tear in her eye at just how well he scrubbed up. Arm in arm, they made their way to the carriage which would delicately transport them to that quiet country chapel where he and his lover would wed.

Stepping outside the flat he waited for John and Edward he smelt in the summer air and felt very content. A few minutes later they arrived, competing against each other on Mario kart.

'LOUIS!' John shouted from the roof of the limo. 'I WON AGAIN!' he smiled as they pulled up beside him.

Louis got in, looking up at their flat and then they drove away, all the emotions coming back as he was thinking of being married to the one he loved.

'Oh my god John why you always acting like this?'

'Oh my god like what Edward'

'Shut it yous two' Louis said.

'Can we sing Ghostbusters to you as a wedding gift to you Louis?'

'All in good time boys, come back to my flat afterwards and I'll let yee do what ever yee want.'

'And then we can sing 'all the small things', referring it to your manhood'

'Yee cheeky little shits'

'Oh my god Louis, guess who is coming to the biggest gay wedding of the year' John exclaimed.

'Who?'

'Oh my god Keith Lemon!' he squeals and flaps his arms.

'Oh marvellous' he joked, until silence fell as they reached the chapel.

'BANGTIDY!'

Was the first thing Gene heard when the horse and carriage pulled up, Louis eagerly waiting in the church to marry his lover.

'What's that twat doing here?'

Keith Lemon stared at him before bitterly insulting him;

'Don't be a dingbat Gene' and casually walked into the church.

All eyes were on Gene as he stepped out of the carriage as numerous guests stood and smiled at him. This was such an amazing feeling.

He could hear his sons in the chapel, nattering away,

'Oh my god John, we look so fetch.'

'Stop trying to make fetch happen Edward!'

God, he hated those kids.

Putting his troubles aside, Gene headed down the church yard, still arm in arm with Alex before being greeted at the door by Chris, Ray and the rest of CID. He could have sworn Ray had a tear in his eye.

The organ started… Westlife started 'singing'. This was it… his moment…

'Louis you look amazing darling' Gok whispered in his ear and pinched his bum.

'Gok, you could have had me but you didn't want me, I've got Gene' he replies.

Gok sulked off and took a seat while Louis stood facing the alter. Gene hints for the music to start, looking to Alex and smiling as he begins to walk.

"Today this could be, the greatest day of our lives, before it all ends, before we run out of time, stay close to me'' they start singing. Gene's face drops.

"What are you doing you twats? It's the wrong bloody song'' he exclaims.

"Ah sorry sorry''

"Jesus Christ!'' Gene says, loosing his temper.

"Put your head against my life, what do you hear?'' they sing and Gene smiles at the guests, walking gracefully with Alex.

"A million words just trying to make the love song of the year''

Louis turns to see Gene, his heart beating wildly.

''Close your eyes but don't forget what you have heard. A man who is trying to say three words, the words that make me scared. A million love songs later, here I am trying to tell you that I care, a million love songs later, here I am''

And there stood Gene, standing at Louis side. Alex takes her seat and they both hold hands, standing proudly in front of the vicar.

All fell silent as Dawn French stood in front of the beaming couple.

'People of God's church, we are gathered here today to witness the lawful wedding of Gene Penelope Hunt and Michael Louis Walsh. May God guide them into holy matrimony as they seek their never ending love.'

'Michael Louis Walsh the II of Ireland, do you, take thee, Gene Penelope Hunt to be your lawful wedded husband?'

'I do' – his Irish accent squeaked,

Gok by this point had to leave the church due to the intense crying, Ray having to closely follow.

'Gene Penelope Hunt..'

'Is there any bloody need to keep calling me that?' Gene harshly interrupted.

Louis smiled as the Vicar of Dibley blushed.

'I'm sorry… Gene Hunt, do you take thee Michael Louis Walsh the II of Ireland to be your lawful wedded husband?'

'I do'

'Oh my god John! We so need to upload a twitpic to PlanetJedward!'

The whole ceremony turned to Jedward before shaking their heads in disgrace.

'Oh my god Edward you made us look like complete idiots now, don't think I'm playing Mario kart with you again in a hurry' John sulks.

'Right, anyone got any reason why these two should not be married?'

All was silent, then in broke George Michael in the Quattro, he'd clearly been on the drugs, smashing through the door leaving debris everywhere. A small section of the church crumbled down, large boulders narrowly missing guests. Dannii Minogue tried to scream, but the botox she had that morning prevented any facial movement.

George stumbled out and stood in the middle of the aisle.

'Baby I'm your man!' George sung to Gene.

'Yeah you are my man, for killing my car, you nancy tosspot!' he says in anger.

'Huh? Your car, since when? Too flash for a poof'' he laughs

'Get out ! You're ruining my perfect day you bastard!'

'Oh Louis, nice hat' he laughs and leaves.

'Please can we get on with it, my apple pie is nearly done and I'm not letting it burn. Right, you may now kiss the bride…oh I mean other half' Dawn smiles.

Gene looks at Louis and Louis looks at Gene and they move in closer, tilting their heads and kissing.

Cheers come from the guests. 'POTATO' Keith shouts out.

'Just one more thing' Gene says to the guests before breaking into song and whipping Louis' arse.

'I like big butts and I cannot lie'

'You… other… brothers, ooow, can't.. deny….. ooooooow.'

The noise filled the church as they heard two clear shrieking Irish boys – Jedward had been brutally trapped and run over by George's antics, blood everywhere, Louis rushed over.

'My beautiful boys! What has that washed up drug addict done to yee?'

A tear in his eye as he touched the boys cheeks, they looked so weak…

'Louis, I'll always love you, you were like the best thing that we like ever knew'

And with that, all fell silent..

Louis cried hysterically, Alex rushing over to comfort him…

Gene wide mouthed at the fact they'd perished…

His day had been ruined… Would Louis ever be the same again?

'Find out after t'break.' Keith Lemon shouted.

Kidding, find out in our next one shot titled 'The Wedding After-Party and Jedward's Funeral.'

You know you want tee.

Please review and tell us what you think of this ridiculous and surreal story! (;