The noises. The scents. The sights. These were all the reasons that Derek hates hospitals. The illness, constant threat of death that hung in the air chilled him and made his wolf recoil. This much concentration of death was not natural in the wolfs opinion. Still, Derek forced himself through the hallways, stopping as he came to his intended destination.
He didn't know why he was here. Didn't even know when he'd started answering to the human. If anyone asked, well anyone who mattered, Derek would say that he owed the kid. After all he had done of his pack, the least Derek could do was drop by and make sure the kid was alive. He wouldn't use those exact words but a series of growls, glares and sighing always got his point across well enough.
Erica said that he didn't remember. Anything.
At least that was one good thing that happened out of all of this. The kid didn't remember anything Derek said or admitted to. Feelings for the kid? It took a demon to make him realize that hey, maybe the kid isn't as bad as I like to think. A small part of Derek then thought, no, he is as bad as I like to think, I just happen to like it that way though.
Not wanting to think about it any more and wanting this entire month to be over already, Derek pushed the door open gently, hoping that the kid would be asleep. As he stepped into the room, Derek frowned and sighed. No such luck. His hands shoved deep into his pockets, Derek reluctantly moved to the foot of Stiles' bed.
"Well?" he growled, his hands spreading his jacket open in a, 'I'm here aren't I?' gesture.
It had taken way more convincing then Stiles liked, but eventually… And after much bartering with both his dad and Momma McCall, Stiles had managed to get an xbox hooked up in his hospital room. The tv opposite the foot of his bed now had wires floating down from the back and into the black little creating sitting on a chair just beneath it. The console came to life as he tapped the center button on his controller, and a huge grin settled into place as 'Dead Space' scrolled across the screen. Yes… Finally. Some entertainment.
By the time Derek actually showed up, Stiles had been playing for nearly and hour, and was on the losing end of a fight. The buttons let out protesting sounds as he smashed them, trying desperately to win… And he nearly had it. So close. Almost there… That was until Derek's big head got in the way, cut of Stiles view to the screen, and all of a sudden it was letting out a protesting screech followed by a death screen.
"Damn it, Derek! You made me lose!" Stiles cursed under his breath as he let the controller fall to his lap and huffed out a breath. So close… So close to winning and then this guy had to come in, all brooding and mysterious and grumpy, and bam he lost. Whether it was because Derek had actually stepped in the way, or he'd successfully distracted Stiles long enough for the enemy to land the final blow, Stiles would never tell.
"Don't be such a sour wolf… I'm in the hospital. You could at least look a little more concerned and not all pissy cause I asked you to come down here…" Stiles managed, locking his eyes with Derek's. They lingered there for a moment before a chill suddenly started at the base of Stiles' neck and he had to look away, focusing instead outside the window on the far wall. "I'd ask if you were on your period or something, but you're like this all the time… That would have to be one hell of a period." He murmured.
After a minute or so passed, Stiles finally seemed to grow brave enough to actually look at the Alpha standing at the foot of his bed, and when he did he felt his heart rate immediately increase. Shit… Maybe this'd been a bad idea. Talking to Derek… about what he'd said… about feelings was like literally asking to have him rip his throat out… with his teeth… And that was not something Stiles wanted.
But hell. He was here. He' made Derek come. Might as well get it out of the way, right?
"I… I just figured that we… should talk."
Wow. Smooth, Stiles. Smooth.
The human, Derek decided, had survived the past year purely by luck. With all the 'teasing', 'nicknaming' and dictating he did at Derek, there was no way that the kid had any survival instincts. Maybe it was something that was bred into the teenagers of Beacon Hills now, or something in the water that made them this way. His pack seemed to have to same issue. The inability to listen to him, the insane urge to sacrifice themselves any chance they got, the luck that had allowed them to continue breathing up after going through some of the hellish experiences imaginable.
And words, 'we need to talk' or 'we should talk'! Why did everyone insist on saying this to him? He certainly, as everyone well knew, didn't encourage conversations or heart to heart chats. It was like he had a neon sign above his head that flickered and flashed that said, 'needs a hug and some good one on one time to sort through his feelings' that everyone else could see, yet remained invisible to him.
Not to mention the last 'conversation' they had didn't rate high, or at all, on his experiences to re-live through again scale. But Erica said he didn't remember. Thank fuck for small mercies. If Derek thought that the human did remember, there was no way he would have turned up. Well, turned up with Stiles knowing. It seemed that seeing the kid, maybe not hale and whole but at least whole, eased a knot inside of him.
Ignoring the outburst, Derek continued to stare at the injured teenager, waiting until Stiles calmed. As Stiles reiterated his opinion that they should 'talk', Derek sighed and rolled his eyes. What did Stilinski think he was here for? Tea and biscuits? Looking away, Derek took in the room, the equipment, the bare, colourless walls before returning his attention back to the teenager.
"About what?" Derek demanded, "Erica?" It was the only reason Derek could think of. Especially since his pup was so hung up on the skinny runt kid.
This guy… Had to have a brick in the place of his brain. Really, that was the only way to explain the lack of intrapersonal skills or common sense when it came to social interactions, right? Because no one… no one… could be as inept as Derek Hale was.
"Hi Stiles, how are you? How's that head… Your side? Last time I saw you, you were bleeding pretty bad and telling me to run… You looked pretty banged up. Now you're in the hospital… I feel bad… You know. You've helped my pack so much… So I thought I'd pay you the courtesy of stopping by to say hi, make sure you're alright… See that you're healing up okay since you aren't super awesome and don't have super awesome wolf healing abilities.-
Oh! Hi Derek! How kind of you! Yeah. I'm doing just fine. Totally healing up okay… Nevermind the fact that I've torn my stitches three times now, my head is pouting, and I now have an angry wolf staring at me with a scary expression and okay I'm going to shut up now…"
Stiles finally stopped and sucked in a breath, shrinking back into the bed as Derek stared at him. For the longest time he couldn't figure out why he had that combination of a glare and a dumbfounded look on his face… It wasn't until a few quiet, uncomfortable minutes passed that it finally dawned on him and Stiles furrowed his brows, biting on his lower lip.
"Oh… yeah…" Right. He was supposed to have forgotten all of that. Oops. "I… May remember more than I've been letting on."
Derek almost rolled his eyes as Stiles started in on one of his rants. Derek already knew that Stiles was okay. Not at peak condition but the fast that he was allowed the television and his x-box told Derek a lot. Then there was the atmosphere of the room, the scent of Stiles. The former was light, well, lighter than what was in the hallways. The later, the most reassuring thing was that Stiles smelt human. Human, tinged with drugs, blood and frustration but human none-the-less.
Finally, the words floated through the Alpha's ears, penetrated his brain and Derek shut down. His tongue felt heavy and dry and he was ashamed to say that for a few brief seconds, he succumbed to the totally cliché and overused reaction and let his jaw drop. This, this was not how this was supposed to go. Derek was supposed to come in, reassure himself that the human was going to keep on breathing, keep on irritating the werewolf into insanity, growl and glare at the kid for a few moments just for old times sake and then leave.
That was not what was currently happening. In fact, this entire situation was so far away from what was currently happening, Derek was at a loss as to how to react. He was a little relieved that his tongue felt so heavy. The twenty-three year old was pretty sure that, and the fact that his throat and vocal cords were tightened to the point of unconscious self-asphyxiation, was the only thing that was preventing him from screaming out, 'you said you didn't remember!'.
Instead, all Derek could do was glare at the human, every muscle in his body tensed. Swear words and impossible suggestions of bodily harm ran through his head. Heaving in a deep breath, Derek held it for long moments before releasing it shakily.
Stiles wasn't supposed to remember. He wasn't supposed to remember, Derek was supposed to ignore everything that had happened and they were both supposed to just carry on like nothing was wrong between them.
"How -" Derek whispered, breaking off both his question and his gaze. Turning his head, he focused on an nondescript point on the wall. "How much do you remember?", he tried again, his voice clearer, more his authoritative self. The alpha hoped to god that Stiles couldn't tell how hard the urge to make a break for it and just run pressed down on him. Thanked whatever god was listening, that the kid wasn't a werewolf and could hear how fast his heart was racing, how his scent had become infused with confusion and fear.
"Umm… Well…" Stiles breathed out, licking his lips nervously before he brought up a hand and rubbed at the back of his hand. "Everything?" He managed, pursing his lips as he stared at Derek. After a moment though he flinched back and away and held his hands up in the universal sign of surrender, sinking further into the bed and away from Derek's penetrating gaze. "And before you wolf out on me and like… sink your teeth into my throat, there's a reason behind me saying I don't know… and I'd prefer to let everyone else continue to think that I don't remember anything. Okay? Okay. I know you can keep a secret. Shouldn't be too hard since you like… never talk anyway."
A quiet thud echoed out over the room as Stiles dropped his hands to the bed, his fingers curling lightly into the sheets that covered him before he let out a breath and fixed his gaze on the foot of the bed. Well shit… This was going to be awkward as hell, wasn't it? With that realization came the memory of what exactly Daemon had said to Derek right when their conversation had started off, and all of a sudden Stiles face flushed a brilliant red and his heart rate increased. Shit… This'd been a bad idea. A terrible idea… The worst part was, he knew Derek could freaking hear the fact that his heart was now hammering against his rib cage.
Unfair advantages, much.
"I remember Daemon being an ass… And him just doing the douchey things he does…" Stiles breathed, shifting on the bed which caused it to let out a protesting groan. "And I remember you… Well, I remember you saying…" Christ, Stiles. You aren't Derek the caveman, use your words. "I remember you saying that I was 'yours' and that you had… feelings? Whatever that means…"
All the remaining oxygen left his body in a hard and sudden exhale. Everything? He remembered everything? For once, just once, Derek had wished that what ever higher powers that were up in the sky, laughing at him, that for once they would just cut him a break. Though Derek knew why he didn't deserve any kind of ease in his life - he was tired.
One thing after another, this town was like a revolving door that only let trouble and bigger problems in. When he first came to town and found Laura's body, he knew that he'd have to deal with the alpha pack. The alpha pack he had realized he might not have won against but he knew he could survive them. That was his gift and his curse. He was always the last one standing. Everyone left him eventually. Surviving and pretending that all his pieces fit together was his strength.
But now he had a pack. A self-sacrificing, bordering on suicidal bunch of teenagers that Derek was so sure had survived because what ever gods there were upstairs thought them entertaining so far and as such, let them live. He had demons and vampires, witches and smart mouthed teenagers to deal with, on top of the large pile of problems, chaos and just utter…crap, parading through his town. He wasn't even doing that great-of-a-job handling it all, being the alpha his sister was, that his mother was.
Derek was just so tired.
Maybe that was the reason that he hadn't high tailed out of the room and just avoided this entire sure-to-be awkward conversation. He just had no more energy to run. Later on, when he'd recovered from this momentary bout of shock and self0pity he would dismiss such a notion. Derek Hale didn't run. Not any more. He simply avoided and ignored things that inconvenienced him. Emotions and feelings inconvenienced him.
It had been a long couple of minutes of silence, of Derek simply glaring at the human as if this entire thing was his fault before Derek opened his mouth to speak. Then shut it. Then opened it again. Then snapped it closed once more. He supposed it was ludicrous to deny everything now. Still, the alpha briefly considered it before disregarding it. Stiles would never believe that. Closing his eyes, Derek tried to regain his calm. Tried to ground himself and concentrated on calming his heart rate. Once it had returned to normal, it was only then that the alpha realized the Stiles' heartbeat was beating fast. It comforted him slightly to know that at least he wasn't the only uncomfortable one in this room.
Clearing his throat, Derek opened his mouth again. "Everything" Derek repeated, this time affirming it vocally to himself. So Derek had said he'd had feelings for the human, that he considered Stiles his. He had feelings for the rest of his pack, even Scott and considered everyone in this town his. It was just a territorial werewolf this. Derek stared at Stiles some more before disregarding the notion that the teenager would believe Derek if he spouted that crap.
"Yes, I did" he suddenly agreed. Acceptance, that was always a good first step one might think. "What about it?" but then, when most people once they had accepted things, moved on and became better people, Derek Hale regressed right back to square one and ignored and/or avoided anything that inconvenienced him.
"Well…" The word escaped Stiles on a puff of air as he curled his fingers into the sheet around him, fisting the blanket up into his hands. Both eyes were fixed on the appendages, suddenly finding them vastly engrossing, certainly more so than the sour wolf who was all giving him a death glare no. Geez… You'd think talking about feelings was like some kind of personal torture for Derek Hale.
"What… did you mean… by feelings?" Stiles managed, slowly and tentatively lifting his eyes up to look at Derek as he swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. He was already here, he'd already brought the subject up, there was no point in backing down now. Not when he would be dead either way… From a look or claws, the way he died really didn't matter at this point. So hell, why not go all out?
"Because there are all kinds of feelings… friend feelings, bro feelings, enemy feelings, I wanna rip your throat out with my teeth feelings and…" Stiles sucked in a breath then and looked away from Derek, focusing once more on the foot of his bed as he wiggled his feet, watching the cover move along with them. "…romantic feelings, possessive feelings in a way beyond 'pack…"
This was where he died. Where Derek just lunged forward, teeth bared and eyes red, ready to snuff out whatever life Stiles' had left to live. Bright side? At least it'd be death by wolf… Because Stiles would be lying if he said he didn't find it the tiniest bit sexy when all of them wolfed out… Be it Isaac, Boyd, Scott, Erica, or Derek…
Derek didn't really process emotions. He either one, wanted to rip your throat out, two, tolerated you because he was such a kind and caring wolf or three, you were pack. As an alpha, Derek Hale knew he was hard on his pack. He was possessive, demanding and rarely cut them a break. Those, Derek believed were the only things he was capable of doing, capable of showing without feeling like everything was about to come crashing down on him.
It could even be argued that Derek didn't realize that there were so many ways to care about a person. He realized - after all, Laura had been a far more competent Alpha than he. The twenty-three year old just didn't know how to allow himself to acknowledge and openly feel these emotions with out instinctively shutting down. Laura, knew that he had issues, after all, she had a fair few of her own. But she also just got him without him having to say anything. She understood his moods and how to react better than Derek himself did. God he missed her.
"You're mine" Derek reiterated for what seemed like the one time too many (thought, any time was too many in Derekland). Instead of denying the entire issue and avoiding this whole, awkward conversation, the alpha decided to hope that giving vague answers would be enough. "You protected what was mine. You kept what was mine safe" he continued, his voice low. "That means I protect you. That I should be keeping you safe" Even if he really sucked at keeping anyone safe at the moment, though the fact that his pack seemed a need to sacrifice themselves independently every other week.
Maybe, though - the feelings I have for you, they aren't the same kind of possessiveness that I feel about Erica or Isaac or Boyd. If it were the romantic type, prone to melodrama, Derek would have described it as, his pups, Jackson, Eva and Scott included as being the air but Stiles, was like the sun. Both were essential for life but it was the sun that lit up the world, kept it warm, kept everything growing. But he wasn't and everything in his head, in him was so warped and confused Derek couldn't even tell which way was up let alone decipher the things he felt for the human.
As Stiles continued to stare at him, Derek sighed and closed his eyes. Lifting his hand, he rubbed the bridge of his nose and pinched it. God, how in the world had he ended up here? "I - I -" the alpha began before realizing he had no clue what he was trying to say. Opening his eyes, Derek rolled his shoulders, scuffed the heel of his shoe before focusing on the human again. "Why does this matter to you so much?"
Why did it matter to him so much… That… was a good question. And one that Stiles honestly didn't want to answer. Not at first anyway. Because answering meant opening himself up in a way that he hadn't in a long time… In a way that he'd shut down when his mom died… A way that Erica had barely managed to crack open herself. Shit. "Why?" He squeaked, swallowing hard before he looked down at the covers that were now curled tightly in between his fingers. "Because…" Just… do it, Stiles. If you're calling him out on his feelings… the least you can do is admit to yours. Fifty fifty. Fifty fifty. You can do this. "Because I may have… feelings… too."
Everything inside Derek stilled. Stilled and focused on the body in the bed. Absently he noted the racing heart beat, the clenching of his bed covers and the pitch of Stiles voice. Outwardly, Derek clicked his jaw then realized every muscle had tensed. He supposed that his first reaction of, 'well fuck' wouldn't go down too well. That was not what he had expected. The alpha wasn't sure what he had expected the injured party to say but it certainly wasn't that. "Why?" Derek heard himself say, before looking down at his feet. Way to go alpha, he thought to himself. "Stiles - " he murmured, his gaze still finding the tips of his shoes interesting. After a long moment, Derek found the courage to left his head and meet Stiles' gaze. "I can't -" Derek started before stopping himself. "No, that's not what I meant.I don't know how to do this, whatever this is" he started again. "I don't know if I can give you want you want" Cause he sure as hell couldn't give anyone else what they wanted either.
Wait… had- wait what? All at once Stiles was looking up and over at Derek, his amber eyes widened slightly as he tried to process what Derek had just said. Because while the words hadn't been the most comforting… There definitely hadn't been any form of a denial in them.
At all.
"Derek…" The older man's name left him quietly as he sat there, trying desperately to put together a coherent sentence… One that just did not want to come. "I… Well." Holy hell what were they even talking about? Him and… and Derek? The human and the Alpha? "You never know until you try, right?" He murmured quietly, meeting Derek's gaze with his own as he forced his fingers to relax against the covers… Though his heart rate only seemed too increase.
.No. It was his first reaction. Absolute refusal to even contemplate the possibility. His second was to come up with a thousand reasons as to why they shouldn't. Erica. Pam. His father was the sheriff. Stiles was still in highschool. Everyone Derek cared about died. "Bad things happen to me" Derek whispered, his heading turning to focus once again on a point on the wall. Sometimes they happened because while Derek had the best intentionss (most of the times), he went about things the only way he knew how. Usually it was the wrong way. Other times it happened just because that was Derek Hale's life. Utter shit. He'd learnt that he couldn't run from it. Couldn't hide from it. Eventually, his bad luck, curse whatever it was found him and those he cared about. Always. "I can't protect you" he continued, his voice stronger and clearer this time. "I don't know if I can give you want you want. I don't know if I can let you in. I don't know if I even want to" Derek let his gaze meet Stile's again. It was the truth. Something he should have given Pam from the start. Maybe Derek was learning from past mistakes or maybe he was just an asshole.
"I don't need you to protect me…" Stiles replied almost immediately, blinking at the statement. He never had. Hell, Stiles had been the one doing more of the protecting anyways. Or was Derek forgetting the many times he'd saved his ass? How often Stiles had saved Scott? Hell… even Erica. Stiles didn't need to be protected… He needed to protect everyone else around himself, keep them all safe. "I don't need anyone to protect me, contrary to everyone's belief…" He managed, shaking his head before he fixed his gaze back on Derek. "Derek…" The Alpha's name was said softly as Stiles shift, wincing slightly as he swung his legs over the side of the hospital bed and pushed, moving till he landed with a quiet thump and a shuddered breath on his feet. "You have to let someone in. You can't… You can't live forever by yourself… You'll be miserable." Stiles paused and smiled weakly. "You already are…" He let out a breath then and shook his head while he rest back against the edge of the bed, curling his fingers into the mattress. "I think you could… I think if you… if you wanted to, you could."
Stiles didn't need protecting. Out of everyone, Stiles needed the most protecting, in Derek's opinion. Not because the alpha believed the sheriffs son to be the weak link or lacking in any way. His pups, he knew at least, were able to heal most of the injuries they sustained. Pamela and the rest of the humans Scott and Jackson insisted on socializing with, Allison and Lydia had wills of steel and the skills they needed to protect themselves - and women were deadly enough. But Stiles, if anything happened to him, it would break everyone. Inwardly, Derek flinched as Stiles mentioned the way Derek shut everyone out, the way he lived his life his walls too high, too thick to be broken by anyone unless Derek let them. Watching as Stiles moved himself over the bed and into a standing position, the urge to help him was there. The urge to take a step back, an act of self-presecation however, was more prevalent. Closing his eyes, Derek tried to shut this whole conversation, the situation out and tried to just center himself. To gain some form of control. Opening his eyes, Derek could only watch as Stiles leaned against the bed. "You don't know what you're asking…" Derek finally whispered, a tinge of fear laced in his voice if you knew what you were looking for, if you were listening close enough. "I can't lose Erica or Pam" or you, if this entire thing were to go wrong. Most of all though, if he let someone else in, Derek feared he'd lose himself. "and contrary to any beliefs you have, we don't protect you because you're human" well, that was only a half truth. "We want to protect you because you don't let anyone in either, not when it matters. Not when it counts and even if you don't want us to, it's the only thing we can do for you" Derek knew, because he was all about secrets and keeping everything inside his head where it festered and grew.
"I…" Stiles began, but the words choked in his throat as his eyes bore into his throat… Because he knew what Derek said was true. He didn't let anyone in… No one because it was just so much easier to handle everyone else's problems than to let them even attempt to handle his own… Not with the all of his father issues and his mother issues and Scott issues and Erica issues… all of that was just… it was too much for one person to handle, for Stiles to handle, and the thought of letting anyone else see that was… mortifying. "I let people in, Derek. I just… I choose who I let in very carefully." He murmured… Which was a half truth… Truth enough that Stiles said it without his heart beat or pulse giving it away… not that that would have said much given the fact that it was pounding anyway. "And you wouldn't lose anyone, Derek… Both of them just… they want to see you happy… and whatever it takes, they'd support it… and you know that."
Derek took another step back and looked everywhere else but the injured, stupidly-climbing-out-of-his bed human. He'd take a ridiculous argument about feelings with Pam, the Argents trying to kill him again, anything over this conversation. "Can you promise me that?" Derek whispered. Still avoiding looking at the Stiles, Derek closed his eyes. His bond with them was tentative enough, he didn't want to rock the boat anymore than he had to. Still, if Stiles promised him this, maybe Derek could pretend that he believed the human because a part of him, the smallest part that Derek rarely listened to, wanted this so bad. Just someone else to lean on. Derek had seen him with Scott. The blind loyalty, the strength that held everyone else up, the alpha wanted that for himself. Finally, Derek opened his eyes abd looked at the human clutching onto the side of the bed. He opened his mouth then closed it after realizing he didn't know how to put his thoughts and emotions into words. After a moment, Derek sighed and tilted his head to point at Stiles. "You shouldn't be out of bed" he muttered, moving himself closer to catch the stupid idiot if his legs suddenly decided to give out. He wasn't going to volunteer himself to touch Stiles though, not unless forced to. He wasn't in control enough, calm enough to touch anyone willingly. That would indicate that he needed someone, that he cared for someone more than he should and while everyone knew that he did. He wasn't ready to admit that to himself. Not yet.
"Derek… I know them." Stiles responded quietly, his hands curling further into the side of the bed. It was getting harder to mask the fact that his side was wailing in pain, sending shocks all the way up and down in his spine. But for the moment he was still managing to keep that fact from showing. So instead he let out a breath and he shook his head. "I know them and you know them." He sighed out then and lift his eyes, looking directly at Derek as the sour wolf stepped forward slightly. "I can promise you that no matter what, if you're happy in the end, they won't leave you. You won't lose them… Pam and Erica aren't like that." Stiles paused then and shift, trying to take some of the weight off his right side before he settled back and groaned slightly before shaking his head. "I'm fine… I'm not some invalid that needs to be laid up in bed all day. It'll do me some good to be on my feet." He shot back, pushing himself away from the bed as though to prove his point… A move which he immediately regretted because damn it all if he didn't feel a stitch or two tear slightly, bring forth a slight welling of blood. Well shit… "Okay… maybe the bed for support isn't a bad idea…" He murmured, leaning back against it once more and gripping onto it for support. "But I can promise you that you won't lose either of them, Derek. Not for doing what you want."
The reassurance frightened him. Derek wanted to believe him so badly and in the back of his mind, he knew that Stiles was right. But everyone left him. Everyone, whether they wanted to or not left him alone. He didn't want to give them reasons to do so. Derek remained quiet, noting the scent of fresh blood and the way Stiles knuckles had turned white from clenching the sheet. Instead of contemplating or making up excuses, justifications for his actions, Derek reached out and took ahold of the wavering teenager, deciding to ignore all previous mention of Derek's insecurity about people leaving him "You aren't a one man army though Stiles" Derek murmured. He had no idea what he was doing but then, when did he ever. "I'd say we should talk about this later, when you're better but I think you'd try and punch me in the face" he didn't add the words, like a little girl. Self-restraint, Derek congratulated himself. He usually didn't have any when it came to Stiles. "I need my space" Derek tried to explain, feeling like he was failing miserably. "If we do this - " Derek hesitated for a moment, a little shocked that he was even contemplating it. "Sometimes I don't have anything to say, so I don't speak. I need my space, I need to run in my forest and sometimes I'm a complete jerk because it's who I am" Derek stopped talking, waiting because he wasn't sure what the hell he was saying but he needed to know that Stiles understood him.
When Derek grabbed him, Stiles eyes widened slightly and immediately moved to the area of contact as he swallowed. That… hadn't been something he was expecting. Generally physical contact was a no no unless Derek was slamming him into something… be it a wall… a door… or a steering wheel. This… it was different. Enough to make Stiles quiet for a long minute before he breathed out and looked at Derek, suddenly aware of how close they were. Well shit… Don't get all awkward teenagery now, Stiles. "I do fine on my own, thank you… And I know all of that, Derek." He finally managed, letting his own eyes find Derek's as he spoke. "It's just a part of you… You're a sour wolf." He managed, smirking at his own little nickname for the Alpha as he shrugged his shoulders, immediately regretting the action for the pain that it caused. But he brushed it off and softened his voice. "I'm fine with being shoved into things by this point… Hell, who says I don't enjoy it?" He joked, even if now perhaps wasn't the most appropriate time. "You can have your space… and your forest… and you can be a jerk. I have Scott to bitch to about all of it anyways… Lord knows he ows me for that shit with Allison anyways…" Stiles grumbled, shifting so that he was resting more solidly against the bed.
It surprised Derek to realize that Stiles did understand that about him. Most people didn't. They all said they did but as soon as they wanted to 'talk', all their understanding went ou the window. Derek didn't even flinch as Stiles mentioned the shoving him into solid objects that Derek did. Truth be told, Derek still thought the kid deserved it. The kid brought out different emotions than the others did, apparently, that was one of them. At the mention of Scott, Derek resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yeah, well…" Derek trailed off because what could you really say. The alpha didn't really feel like delving any deeper into his concerns and insecurities about this entire, whatever this was. Instead, he watched as Stile shifted and he rolled his eyes for a different reason. Reaching out, Derek hauled the human against him, uncaring that he'd probably caused more damage with the stitches, lifted and placed (or dropper, either/or) Stiles on the bed. "You're too stubborn" Derek told the human, changing the entire subject to one he was more comfortable with. Well, may not so much the subject, just the way he spoke to the human. Bossy and lecturing. "And stop calling me sourwolf. If we were to do this, you can't tell me your half ass truths and expect me to be okay with it" That last bit, he didn't know where that came from but he wasn't sure where half of his reactions had come from tonight. Derek was just going to go with it, hoping that trusting his instincts would actually work for him for once.
"Hey!" The protest squeaked out from Stiles as soon as Derek grabbed him and pulled him closer. Albeit he didn't mind… the man was like Adonis… but the second he was being lift into the air, Stiles flailed slightly and let out a defeated huff when the bed met his back. "That's not fair… like… at all." He grumbled as he situated himself so that he was sitting upright then folded his arms indignantly over his chest. The entire expression faded though when Derek spoke again and Stiles arms dropped away from himself, his mouth agape slightly. He quickly fixed it however and shook his head slightly, letting out a controlled breath. "Sourwolf is your nickname. Like it, love it, get used to it. It's not changing… sourwolf." Stiles murmured, shooting him a shit eating grin before that faded and something softer slid into place. "So wait… are…" Stiles paused and swallowed, forcing himself to continue a moment later. "Are we doing this?"
Were they doing this? It was crazy, insane and Stiles was still underaged and the son of the sheriff. "Fine" Derek agreed grudginly. They were doing this. Immediately after Derek decided, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. Still, a thousand other possibilities entered his head. A million reasons why he shouldn't be doing this but this time, he managed to push them aside for the moment. He could sort this out later. He'd go for a run and bury himself in his wolf, who always thought things with more clarity in his paw than Derek had ever possessed as a human. "Fine" he repeated, this time his voice tinged with a little disbelief. "But there will be rules. Rule number one. I'm not stupid and you can't brush me off like Scott. You talk to me" because no one else sure as shit did. Well, they did but usually after the crisis was over. Derek stepped away from the bed, the full realization of what he'd just done hitting him. Well, fuck.
When the word fine slid from Derek's lips, Stiles eyes widened to the size of saucers. Holy… Had Derek Hale… just… with him? No way. No flippin way. "Wait… seriously?" He questioned, disbelief coloring the words as they slid from him… Because Derek agreeing to that, saying that they were doing this, that was totally him admitting that he had feelings for Stiles. Feelings of the romantic kind… feelings like Stiles never could have imagined Derek would have for him. After a long moment a grin broke out over his face and he sat up a little straighter, watching Derek… Because for just a moment he was able to forget about everything, about the demons and the memories and hurting Erica… and just focus on this. At the mention of talking though, Stiles grin faltered slightly and he let out a breath. "What do you mean by talk?"
Were there other definitions of the word that Derek wasn't familiar with? Talk as in, the thing everyone else insisted on doing to him or at him and expect him to just agree with them. "I ask you a question, you don't get to brush it. I want straight answers" otherwise how was this entire relationship going to work. Derek wasn't one of those people who didn't communicate and played games or walked around in circles trying to read between lines when involved with someone. Granted, his previous relationships had been brief (all bar one lasting the length of a single night), he knew what he didn't want. "God knows most of the time your incessant rambling drives me insane, how can one person even have that much to say? But when it matters, we discuss shit" and good lord the human could talk when he was of a mind (which was usually, all the time).
"Can I like… get this on recording?" Stiles questioned, arching an eyebrow as a smirk slid back into place. "Derek Hale saying that he actually wants to talk… Who would have thought…" Stiles teased, sticking his tongue out for a moment before he shook his head and pulled on a serious expression once more nodding. "Fine. Talking. Okay, I can do that. And you love my rambling, don't even. You think its adorable. Admit it." Stiles let out a breath then and shift on the bed so that he was facing Derek a little more. "Rule number two?"