Hey there! =)
I felt like writing a little songfic, and when I heard 'Stay' by Hurts once again I realized that it would fit pretty well to Zelos and Sheena ... And so this songfic came into being. =)
I hope you can enjoy this, and I would recommend you to listen to the song while reading, after all, it's a great song. ^^
Disclaimer: I don't own neither Tales of Symphonia nor the lyrics to the song 'Stay' by Hurts.
Stay
I actually didn't belong to the person who had problems with saying what way on their mind. Quite the contrary, my loose tongue caused most times nothing but trouble. How many clouts did I already have to endure only because my thoughts had immediately wandered to my tongue?
My whole life waiting for the right time
To tell you how I feel
But there was one matter I couldn't talk about, no matter how much I told myself to do it. In this regard there was somehow a blockade inside of me, and until now I hadn't found anything to destroy it.
And so my feelings, my true feelings, kept being concealed behind an insuperable wall.
And though I tried to tell you that I need you
Here I am without you
I feel so lost but what can I do?
I had tried several times to talk about my feelings. I had gathered all of my courage and had been about to speak, but no words wanted to leave my mouth. To not stand there the whole time with an open mouth like an idiot, I had eventually joked around again and thus earned the next clout.
It wasn't the clout itself that hurt but the certainty that I would never be able to reveal my feelings.
'Cause I know this love seems real
But I don't know how to feel
I had nothing felt something like this before. Of course I was confused, but I thought to know what this feeling was … Love. True love. But of what use was this realization, if I couldn't impart it? I couldn't even show it.
No, I was trapped in my role, the role of the eternal masher who flirted with everything that wasn't nailed down. It was only a mask I had put on; a façade that concealed my true self. Behind this façade I was safe, protected from everything and everybody. So it was only understandable that I didn't want to leave it, wasn't it?
But like the façade protected me it prevented for me to be able to reveal my feelings as well.
We say goodbye in the pouring rain
And I break down as you walk away
Stay, stay
'Cause all my life I've felt this way
But I could never find the words to say
Stay, stay
I followed her with my eyes how she walked through the rain and distanced herself from me. How much would I've liked to hug her and asked her to stay, but I just couldn't. No word left my lips, and so I could just watch her sadly while I wished that she changed her mind, that she turned around once again after all and came back for some reason.
Alright, everything is alright
Since you came along
How much had my life changed since she had entered it. Without her I would've probably already drowned in boring everyday life that almost only consisted of keeping up the masquerade of the Casanova.
But without knowing it, she saved my life every time she got upset about something I had done or was supposed to have done. It sweetened my day to run away from her when she was once again ranting and raving, and wanted to gave me a tower of clouts.
And before you
I had nowhere to run to
Nothing to hold on to
She was like the saving trunk on which I could on to when I was drowning. I knew that she would always be there for me in some way, as solid as a rock. I knew that I could rely on the violent demonic banshee who saved my life time after time anew.
I came so close to giving it up
And I wonder if you know
How it feels to let you go?
I was certain that I would've probably already given up without her. After all, what reason would I have had to continue living on? I had so often thought about just putting an end to all of this. I thought that it was probably the best for everybody; the kind and the church wouldn't have to be ashamed because of my escapades anymore, my sister could've become the new Chosen … But she stopped me from doing so. Without knowing it, she had become my anchor that retained me in life.
I felt alive the most when she was with me. That's why I would've liked to have her with me all the time, but I knew that this wasn't possible. She wouldn't have stayed with me even if I had managed to ask her, and so I had to watch every time how she walked away again …
We say goodbye in the pouring rain
And I break down as you walk away
Stay, stay
'Cause all my life I've felt this way
But I could never find the words to say
Stay, stay
The rain had already soaked me completely, but I didn't care. I didn't feel it at all; I was too busy with watching her slowly getting on her Rheaird and wishing that it wouldn't start for some reason.
But how likely was it that this would actually happen? Damn it, why couldn't I just ask her to stay a little bit longer? How did I want to know that she didn't do it after all if I asked her?
So you change your mind
And say you're mine
Don't leave tonight
Stay
How much did I wish to be able to tell her everything … To be able to tell her that I wanted her to stay, only this one night … Or only the evening … Or only another hour … I didn't care, as long as she just stayed a little bit longer.
We say goodbye in the pouring rain
And I break down as you walk away
Stay, stay
'Cause all my life I felt this way
But I could never find the words to say
Stay, stay
A little bit surprised I realized that her Rheaird really didn't seem to start. I heard her quietly cursing while she tried it again and again.
My heart started beating loudly and thus drowned the clattering rain for me, when I took a step towards her. But after this one step I stopped again, gathered new courage, and took then the next step.
This procedure still repeated itself for some more times; it certainly looked totally stupid, but every step cost me quite an effort as if my shoes were made of iron and I was on a magnetic field.
Stay with me, stay with me,
Stay with me, stay with me,
Stay, stay, stay, stay with me
Eventually, I had reached her. She looked questioningly and a little bit confusedly at me; she was probably wondering about me still being here in the rain and not in my warm and dry mansion.
I took a deep breath, gathered all strength I had and threw it against the wall inside of me. A crack formed and through this a single word reached my lips: "Stay." I hesitatingly stretched out a hand, braced for her ignoring it or even pushing it away.
She looked at me a little bit surprised and frowning, but then a small smile found its way onto her face and the next moment I felt her warm hand inside of mine.
I hope you liked this little songfic. ^^ I think there are some parts that are a little bit strange (I've written it in the night, so it wouldn't be surprising), but oh well ...
I would be glad if you left some comments. =)
Greetings, Fina ^^