What She Wanted
by Tokai Central
"No offense, Max, but I hate that word."
Max grinned as Chloe turned in her wheelchair. At the end of the path William was sitting behind the wheel of the Price family van, watching the sunset while listening to soft rock on the radio.
"You should have come with us, William," Max said as she and Chloe approached.
"I'm sure you wouldn't want an old guy like me spoiling your reunion." William got out of the van and lowered the wheelchair ramp.
"Thanks, dad," Chloe said as she rolled inside. William quickly attached the wheel locks and did a quick spot check to make sure the fasteners around his daughter weren't loose.
"Not going anywhere," Chloe reassured him.
Though she could have sat up front with William, Max took the seat next to Chloe. Together they watched Arcadia Bay out the window. Fishermen were coming home. Little children were out shopping with their parents. Teenagers were hanging out at a gas station smoking cigarettes.
"Though I wish you'd come sooner, I'm glad you chose today, Max," Chloe said, looking over at her friend.
"Me too."
#
Entering the Price home, one sniff of the air and Max knew that Joyce was cooking in the kitchen.
"Max Caulfield, all grown up." Joyce's hug was near rib crushing.
"So glad to see you again, Joyce." Max returned the embrace. "You still at the Two Whales?"
"Of course," Joyce said, choosing some spices out of the cabinet. "William and I also have second jobs. It's for those damn Prescotts, but the money helps." She gave Max a half smile.
"I'm sure it does. Can I help you with dinner?"
Joyce nodded. "I'm sure you remember my Salmon Surprise. Give they filet a good rub down and put it in at 375 for fifteen minutes. I have to go help Chloe freshen up."
"It's okay, Max," Chloe said, grinning. "I know you want to help. Mom's had to take a lot of training. And besides, I'm sure you don't want to see me naked." Max blushed. "Not yet anyway." Chloe laughed as she turned to follow her mother into the converted garage.
"She's still our Chloe," William said, chopping up vegetables. "I can't tell you what a change you being here is. I know it must have been..awkward for you to come. You still mean a lot to her, Max."
"It's not awkward, William. Chloe's my best friend."
"Good to know, kiddo."
Max turned to her work. The piece of salmon was dark orange and beautiful. She sprinkled on the spices and a little olive oil.
Gently rubbing everything into the filet, Max wondered what Chloe was going through in the other room.
#
"I'm glad you had good day, honey," Joyce said, lighting a scented candle on Chloe's dresser. The scent of vanilla bean filled the room.
"It was good." Chloe lay on the bed in her underwear and bra. The home ventilator was now breathing for her. Scars from the crash crisscrossed the pale skin of her abdomen and chest. "I think my Max has come back to me."
Chloe averted her eyes as Joyce removed the colostomy bag from her stomach. The candle did its best, but could not fully mask the smell of waste. Chloe scrunched her nose.
"There we go," Joyce said, cleaning the ostomy with a wipe before attaching a fresh bag. After washing her hands in the bathroom, Joyce rolled over the sunlamp. "This'll warm you up. Must have been cold at the beach."
"It was a really beautiful sunset." Though she could only feel the warmth on her face, Chloe imagined it refreshing the rest of her body. "Max taught me about the Golden Hour. Mom, can she stay tonight?"
"Of course," Joyce said, rubbing a thin layer of moisturizer over Chloe's right arm. "Dad and I will give you privacy." She quickly did the left arm and then Chloe's legs, making sure to massage the muscles to prevent blood clots. Finally, she ran a damp towel over Chloe's face, and patted her dry with a second one.
"What pajamas would you like tonight?" Joyce turned off the sunlamp and pushed it back into the corner.
"The blue ones, please."
"You both grew up so fast." Joyce pulled Chloe's arms into the cotton sleeves and buttoned up the shirt. Next came the pajama bottoms. "You're women now."
Placing Chloe back in her chair, Joyce covered her legs with a thin blanket before securing the buckles. "All done. Want me to put some makeup on you before dinner?"
"No. I don't want to keep Max waiting." Chloe was already moving the wheelchair up the ramp.
"Okay." Joyce blew out the candle before leaving the room.
#
Max could tell that it had been a while since there had been a guest at the Price home. William and Joyce seemed out of practice talking about their own lives, or anything besides their daughter's health.
"So I saw the little Eiffel Tower in the living room," Max said. "Did you guys finally make it there?"
"Oui," William said. "As the French say. Because I can't speak a word of it. We took Chloe after her freshman year. Spent two weeks in Paris."
"Oh, it must have been beautiful."
"It was so great, Max." Chloe was beaming. "All the museums and cafes. I just loved sitting in the parks and watching everyone. The little kids over there are so cute, too." She laughed.
"We have a whole picture book if you'd like to see it later." Joyce said as she fed Chloe a piece of salmon. "How's it taste?"
"Wonderful, mom." Chloe coughed a little after swallowing. "Could I have some water."
"That's better," she said after taking a sip. "Cough doesn't want to go away."
"It's just the dry air."
"Yeah," Chloe said, watching Max eat from the corner of her eye.
#
"She won't live. But in the end, who does?"
The movie ended. "You were right," Max said, wiping the tears from Chloe's eyes.
"I'm such a softie." Chloe sighed as Max turned off the TV. "I'd invite you up to share the bed, but..." Her eyes darted to the respirator tube and IV lines.
"It's okay. You ready to sleep?" It was just past midnight according to the clock on the wall.
"I'm actually a little wired." Chloe grinned. "It's been a long time since I've been up this late."
"A new world record," Max teased. "You sure you weren't taking a nap?"
"Cross my heart. Well, I would if I could."
Max's eyes drifted to the block letters displayed on the far wall: FAITH.
"Mom put that up there. My family never went to church, so I don't know how much she actually believes. I think it's helped her, though. My dad won't say it, but I think he's like me...I just don't know."
"Yeah, I've felt that a lot lately. 'Hope' might be a better word."
"Maybe." Chloe yawned loudly. "There it is. I don't mind if you want to sleep in the other room."
"It's okay." Max flipped off the remaining light before resting her head on the bed. "I'm happy here."
#
Chloe only saw two options. In one she would pass away peacefully. In the other she would suffer through another few weeks or months, her last memories watching her parents do the same.
"Chloe, have you asked your parents?"
"I've said my goodbyes, but they won't honor my wishes."
"But have you told them that you know what they doctors said?" Max locked eyes with her friend.
The wavering in Chloe's eyes answered Max's question before the older girl had the chance to speak. "No," she whispered.
Max took Chloe's hand. "Would it help if I was here when you talked to them?"
Chloe nodded.
"Want me to get them?"
Chloe nodded again. "Thank you, Max."
"I'll put this back." Max unhooked the morphine injector and slipped it into her pocket. "They'll never know you asked me." Max stepped out of the room.
The lump in Chloe's throat slowly dissolved. For the first time since she woke up from the accident, she was scared, not because of what might await her in death, but how her parents might react, how the conversation could stain the little time they had left as a family.
"Max said you wanted us." William said as he entered the room. He and Max carried a chair in while Joyce sat in the seat already next to the bed. Max sat on the other side of the bed opposite Joyce while William sat at the end.
Looking to Max for strength, Chloe bit her lip before speaking. "Before I start, please don't ask Max to leave. You both know she might as well be a part of our family."
"Always," Joyce said.
"I wanted to tell you...I know what the doctors said about my respiratory system. I know it's failing. About two more months, right?"
Max avoided looking at William and Joyce. She used a tissue to wipe the tears that were forming under Chloe's eyes.
William spoke first. "I'm sorry, Chloe." He shook his head. "We should have said something. You're an adult."
"We were going to make sure you were comfortable," Joyce added, using her sleeve to wipe her eyes.
"You've done such a good job of that, Joyce." Max put her hand on Joyce's shoulder for support.
"You know it's just going to get worse, right?" There was no anger or sadness in Chloe's words, just the knowledge she had been carrying like a burden for weeks.
William nodded. "Is that why you asked to..."
"Yeah," Chloe said, not wanting her father, her hero, to have to say it. "It's still what I want. Please."
To Max, it seemed as if an eternity passed before Joyce spoke. "Max, stay with Chloe." Joyce took her husband's hand and led him out of the room.
"How'd I do?" Chloe's voice was shaking. She coughed.
"You did the right thing," Max said, getting the cup for her to drink. "Even if they say no, don't be too mad at them. And I'll be here as much as you want." At that moment Max knew her words were truth. Arcadia Bay, Rachel Amber, the Dark Room...let the world end.
Max and Chloe had waited over twenty minutes before Joyce and William reentered the room. In his right hand William carried the morphine injector. Mindful of the respirator tube and wires, Joyce laid next to her daughter and embraced her. On the other side Max rested her head on the pillow next to Chloe's.
"Want dad to put on some music? Water?"
"I'm okay," Chloe said. "I love you, mom, dad, Max."
"Love you," William and Joyce said. Max repeated the words.
William inserted the injector to the IV. With a soft click the morphine flowed freely. William placed a hand on his wife and daughter. No matter where Chloe looked, there would be the face of someone who loved her.
Chloe's eyes were already shutting as Joyce began to whisper to her, reciting the words of a lullaby. Joyce trailed off just as Chloe's head finished tilting towards her mother's face.
For many seconds there was only the sound of the respirator. That, too, ended as William reached across the bed to shut it off. Chloe's chest stopped moving.
"No more tubes, Chloe," he said, disconnecting the respirator from Chloe's throat. He set it aside, and stroked her face. "No more wheelchair or doctors or nurses." He reached for the tissues as Joyce wept loudly.
Max sat up, and watched William mourn. Max had always known that he was a wonderful husband and father, and would do anything to switch places with his daughter. If he could, Max thought as she looked down at the old photo of she and Chloe making pancakes, he'd gladly go into the past himself and happily go to his death if it meant saving Chloe.
"I'm so sorry, William," Max whispered, concentrating on the old image. She could already hear the sound of her and Chloe's innocent laughter...